I am afraid
For I see it roaming
It has taken me over, despite my trials
I'm starving, I cannot go on
I think about my two magnificent children, Timmy, and Jimmy
What shall they do without me?
I fear it, but then again, there's nothing to fear but fear itself
I meekly approach it, knowing this is a near death experience
I creep up to the floating chair that turned my life around days ago
And use a drawer handle to test its consciousness
I notice it is sleeping
I sigh in relief
Whats this, it is stirring
I must haste
I take out the mayonnaise, spread it on its warm leathery seat, and the grape jelly for its armrests
I push it outside out into the obese world of Humans
I smile in satisfaction knowing that this evil being will be eaten by the createns out yonder
I give a big push and watch it sail over the distance
A rather large group of them tear apart its malicious leather that I once feared and feast on its stuffing
And at that moment, I knew that I had become the winner
I rush back into the kitchen and celebrate with a victory sandwich
And merrily think of the chair that once ruled me, dead

If you REALLY payed attention to this, then you would know what the @$#! i was just talking about XD,

the story is about a man with 2 kids who has just been taken hostage by a chair, IN HIS OWN HOME... He uses a drawer handle he ripped out of his bedroom to see if the chair is awake or not, then proceeds to cover it in delicious treats and then pushes it out of the door, soon after the humans eat it and kill it, the man celebrates by going into his kitchen and eating a sammich knowing that the chair wont be bothering him ANY MOAR, the end :D