Oh. Well......where to begin....

Do you remember back when you asked no one to go to the prom with you? Well, after you tied him up and put him in a dress, you were driving to the dance, and you hit that truck full of genuine Idahoan potatoes! I drove by, saw the mess, and then proceeded to throw as many of the spuds as I could into the backseat of my car! I mean, what else was I supposed to do? Then the paramedics and cops arrived, and I got arrested....Do you know how long it took me to convince Boggy to break me out???? I freakin sold both my kidneys to the guy! Just so he could make a pie! I don't even want to know how much vodka that philoso-dragon consumed before we made the deal........T_T....

People think I'm automatically evil because I'm a dragon. :(

In actuality, I'm not that bad. I don't bite. Not much, at least. You know what, scrap that, keep your distance.

Heh, your funny. Keep trying, but you'll never kill me. Harm me? Yes. Kill me? ...Lol.

Now, where were we.....

Oh yesterday.
I was just doing my laundry out in the Potomac (Yeah....), when I heard a bunch of shouting behind me. I turned around, and there you were, pointing at me, with a horde of angry cultists behind you! I dove into the poisonous river and tried to get away, but they harpooned me and dragged me ashore! Then they started beating me with weird-looking whitish objects (I swear they were jawbones), and yelling "DEATH TO THE PHILISTINE!" After that, they tied me to a stake and began some weird ritual. Then you came out and planted a bean in front of me, and then everyone left.
Of course I got free eventually. Not that anyone believed what had happened to me. Little did I know what was in store for me to come...

Tune in next episode to see what will become of Immortous!

Oh right!

So after we trashed Vil's house, you decided it would be funny if you show up in 7-11 wearing a tutu. So I decided to tag along with you but as soon as we entered the store we were both framed for shoplifting, I tried to explain that it was all a big misunderstanding while you think it would be nice to cover your ear with socks. After that we got out of the inspection section, Draycos came and ate me because you promised him that If both of us get caught in 7-11 while wearing tutus, he can eat me using vintage coconut milk.

And you left your wallet at the cashier :3

So yeah...that satanic bean you planted followed me home that day......I first noticed it when I was at the police station being tested for who knows what, and it was sitting on the police chief's shoulder, laughing at me like this! Dude! I'm gonna have nightmares every night forever now! After a few hours, the station sent me home with some schizophrenia medication. But I swear I heard the creature walking behind me! When I stopped to look, it jumped in my nostril and started stabbing me with a fork! All the while laughing like before! Suddenly, it jumped down and pointed at my chest. Something big was going down, so I threw the meds at the vegetable and got out of their as fast as a hulk of stone and crystal could!

To Be Continued....!

Of course the bean followed me home. I had to take action. I barricaded myself in the kitchen, and started getting out some pots and ingredients. I was gonna make myself some falafel! You know, that Mediterranean sandwich thing? It's made of some sort of garbanzo bean stuff with spices. I figured possessed beans worked just as well as any other. I mixed everything together, and then cautiously opened the kitchen door. I waited until the bean came in, and then I pounced upon it and stuck it in the fryer with the rest of the falafel! It all tasted the same afterword. I thought my troubles were over that night....That is, until I heard its voice again.....

To Be Continued....!

Now I see what your whole voodoo dance was about. Now I know why I was beaten with jawbones and tied to a stake.
I was lying in bed, trying to get some sleep after that...."eventful" day, when that unearthly voice resounded inside of my head. I sat up in shock. I destroyed that thing! I chewed it whole! I....I....its in me now, isn't it?......Gosh dang it.......It was the middle of the night, and there was a demonic bean in my intestines......and here I was thinking it couldn't have gotten any worse in one day! I got up shakily. What to do....What to do...."MUAHAHAHhaAHAHhaha......!" AAUGHAHH! That's never gonna stop freaking me out! Then I remembered the fermented chili in the fridge. If anything could get this monster out of me, I figured that would do it! I went to the kitchen and pulled the green(Yes, green) concoction out. Cautiously, I poked it with a spoon. It stuck onto the utensil and wouldn't come off. I licked the residue, and, well, lets just say what happened in the next few hours wasn't pretty....didn't smell to great either. But by morning, I was free of the creature! At least for now....

To Be Continued....!

Well everyone thinks i'm evil because of that incident in the orphanage. In my defense those kids said they were cold....they're sure pretty toasty now.

So to make a long story short, you showed up at my house while I was getting the mail a few months later with a heart-shaped box, saying how sorry you were and how it was all a misunderstanding. Ha! I should have called the cops on you right then. But.....instead I took the box, and then slammed the door shut in your face. I'm such an idiot. I left the box underneath the mail and went to make myself some tea. As it was steeping, I sat down to read the mail. Phone bill............letter from senator whatshisface, "Elect me!".............ad...........Ooh coupon for Starbucks! When I made it to the bottom though, the box wasn't there. I found it on the floor nearby lying open, with a book lying next to it. I picked up the book and this is what I see. Gosh, you sure have a sick mind. Anyhow, I threw the book and box in the trash, and headed into the kitchen to get my tea. I added sugar and started to take a drink when I saw IT in the bottom of my cup, staring at me like so!!!

To Be Continued....

/becomes neutral

There, counter-trolled

You became evil because your mama dressed you funny. You became an evil villain because you wear pantyhose all day and night.

Ah, come on. We all know about the little, old, blind lady you told you would help cross the road and how you ran off leaving her standing alone in the middle of a busy intersection.