Like Tevokkia said, I think the second line of the first verse could use some better rhythm.
Instead of "Think that fiends just want to play a game", we can remove the word 'just' and end up with "Think that fiends want to/wanna play a game". Sounds a lot better too!
Because i owe you... here:
https://www.dropbox.com/s/6rcufim0d4a6pd2/dumb.mp3
P.S. I'm not singing anymore for you >:o
I was going to record this over the weekend, but if he wants to use yours, it saves me the trouble (leaving me to concentrate on my "Cups" parody)
누나 (Mia) - 당신은 최고입니다. 사랑해! 감사합니다!
(I think... I do not write regularly in Hangeul).
Tev - Seeing as how Mia's is incomplete, I'd still really appreciate hearing your version, if you're still willing. :>
Okay, I hadn't listened to it yet, so I'll give it a record Sunday or Monday night when I do the other songs.
Charge your Gran Faust all the time, think the Lichens are lime
Take your Winmillion to a Shadow Lair,
laugh stupidly at the Roarmulus pair
Ride the frozen demon horse,
Spam the trade chat and go hoarse (meh)
Hug a mecha way too hard,
Forget to grab that one huge heart
Tell Biscotti she can't bake,
Eat some of her creepy cake
Just some rhymes I made up. Hopefully there's room for at least one.
EDIT: added one more rhyme
The song has already been written for awhile (see post 35) ... just going to make a few edits for meter before I record.
You've got some good rhymes, though! Some of the ideas you had are included in the song already. :)
Ah, that's okay, I only read the OP and clayed up some crappy rhymes because I was out of time.
I'm looking forwards to the song and hopefully an animation with it, tough!!
Awesome, Lizzi. I'd love to see what you could do. :D