Here, is a fanfiction from me at long last. I've decided to take a break from my usually dark and dreary writing and make something humorous and light hearted, yet be plot driven to a certain extent. This will be updated somewhat frequently, possibly once a week. Without any further ado, here is Out of Energy.
Out of Energy
Arcade: Below the observation decks
“Chainsaw,”
“Check!” reported the second gremlin, rummaging through the supply pack.
“Pliers,” the first gremlin requested, keeping an eye out for the sentries
“Check!” the second gremlin replied cautiously as he threw the tools over his shoulder.
“Wire cutters?”
“Check!”
“Fitting oxymoron?”
“Uh.... Check!”.
“Good,” the ghostmane stalker said nonchalantly, “anything unaccounted for?”.
The second stalker reached into the leather case and pulled out a teddy wolver and smirked, “What would the most feared spy in the Clockworks, Umbra, be doing with a children’s toy?”.
Snarling, Umbra grabbed his signature weapon, an Umbra Driver and fired off a shot towards the other gremlin. The bullet tore through his hand, leaving him kneeling on the ground clutching his furry paw.
“Maybe that will teach you to hold your tongue, Tarsier” Umbra replied, still in that indifferent tone. Tarsier bit his lip to stop the tears coming out. He could only watch as Umbra strode over and picked up the toy wolver, still clutching it affectionately as he deposited it into the pack.
“If you have recovered from that warning shot maybe we should get onto the task at hand”. Grabbing a buzzsaw shuriken from his pouch, he threw three of them towards the elevator cables.
All around the Arcade, this was happening to all the elevators. Pairs of elite ghostmane stalkers climbed the elevator shaft and destroyed the cables. Then they slid back down the shaft back to the Great Colony. All of them, except one.
Tarsier grabbed his safety harness and hooked it to the vent. “Aren’t you coming back to the Colony Umbra?”. “Not me,” Umbra replied, grabbing a sniper rifle, “I have a lieutenant to kill”.
Haven: The Lab
“Are you sure this cannon is safe?” Sopwith asked, beads of sweat dripping down his forehead.
“I’m 100% sure. Get in and clean it” Punch growled, shaking his wrench in the direction of the cannon.
Sopwith, or Soapy as his friends liked to call him, warily watched sparks flying out of the base.
“It doesn’t look very stable to me,” he whimpered, trying to stall the inevitable, “Are those wires meant to be hanging out like that?”.
Punch’s eyes widened as he noticed the sparking bundle. He hurriedly closed the panel.
“What wires?” he responded, “It’s safe, I’m 90% sure”. Remembering what he asked Soapy here for,
“Go on!” he said brusquely, “That rust inside isn’t going to clean itself!”.
Soapy looked at Punch miserably, “It’s a death trap. I know it is. I’m sure you’d be really sad if I get killed by the cannon!”.
Punch laughed and retorted, “And so, I’m sure, will this 5,000 crowns tip that you’d get if you jump into that cannon right now!”.
Soapy sighed, “If you say so Punch”, and crawled into the cannon, clutching his cleaning equipment.
“It’s Mr. Punch to you”, Punch smirked, as he went back to his cashier to sell the unique variant tickets.
Soapy coughed as he squirted disinfectant into the cannon’s barrel. It sure is dusty in here, he thought. Unbeknownst to him, a small amount of sulphur was getting dangerously close to the overheating wires...
By the anvil, Punch muttered to himself as he hammered (or wrenched) a lump of volatile thermite to a recruit’s Calibur. Should be safe he thought, I’m 80% sure.
“Strange,” Soapy said out loud, “what's that sizzling sound?”. Then, there was a bright flash and Soapy was blasted into the air.
“Heeeeeeeeeelp!” Soapy screamed as he flew through the air. Clouds, trees and snipes rushed past him as he was launched over the Town Square. Looking down, he noticed the fountain would be about where he landed.
Soapy sighed with relief, at least his landing would be relatively comfortable. Hang on! he thought, as he realised who was sitting on the bench, leaning back into the fountain, Is that Feron?!. His iconic outfit was unmistakeable. Please don’t hit him. Please don’t hit him he prayed, clasping his hands together mid-air.
Just as he was about to smack into Feron, he heard a shout, “Sniper!”. Soapy turned to look to where the cry came from and saw a gremlin holding a sniper rifle on the roof of the Auction House.
The impact was painful. Soapy slammed into Feron, knocking him off the bench and onto the ground. Just as they fell to the ground he heard a bullet whizzing past his ear. Feron stood up, clutching his ribs. “You... You just...” he croaked.
“I’m sorry Sir!” Soapy squealed, “I didn’t mean to get shot into you! Please don’t punish me!”.
Feron laughed heartily, considering the circumstances, “Punish you?” he said, “I should be rewarding you! You just saved my life!”.
“What about the sniper?”, Soapy asked.
Feron frowned, as if he only just remembered. “Oh yeah, the sniper,” he said absentmindedly, “go get him boys!”.
Several Vanguards rushed towards the gremlin, who was surrounded, and handcuffed him and dragged him over to Feron.
“You can’t stop us”, the gremlin said, “You won’t be able to follow us”.
“You think that I mind?” Feron replied, still clutching his ribs, “What’s your name criminal?”.
“Umbra”.
Later, in the Arcade
“Well, I know he’s in prison now,” Feron commented, “but what do you think Umbra meant by us not being able to follow them?”.
Soapy shrugged, scarcely being able to comprehend what happened over the past few minutes. Being shot out of a cannon and saving a lieutenant.
“Hang on!” Feron said, “I don’t even know what your name is solider!”.
“Oh,” Soapy said, “it's Sopwith”.
Just as he said that, all the lights started to come off and knights everywhere began to panic.
“What happened?” Feron shouted amid the chaos. “What happened to the backup generators?”. He pointed to his assistant. “Julia! What happened?”.
Julia checked her phone, and replied, “They aren’t working, because there’s no mist energy left. We only have crystal energy and that’s in limited supply”.
“Drat.” Feron said, “We need someone to investigate”.
He looked over to Soapy. “You! You’ll be perfect!”.
Soapy squirmed, “But sir, with all due respect, I’m only a cleaner”.
“Nonsense!” Feron replied. “You saved my life didn’t you? I’m sure you’ll be fine!”.
“Go to the mercenary department,” Feron continued, “Wegner will take you there”.
As Soapy happily ran over to Wegner, Feron turned to Julia.
“Am I drunk, or do you think he’ll actually have a chance?”.
Julia replied, “You’re drunk sir”.
It adds so much realism to the world of Spiral Knights...phones, cleaning men. It's actually a very good concept.