Spiral Knights - "Credibility Problems": the anarchists' guild. No leaders, no rules, no requirements, no questions. Almost not a guild at all!

"Credibility Problems": the anarchists' guild. No leaders, no rules, no requirements, no questions. Almost not a guild at all!

55 replies [Last post]

Wed, 04/10/2013 - 08:25

Meeji

Credibility Problems

EDIT: Now with added Steam group, wiki page and IRC chat room! Come chat to us - we don't bite. Unless you're into that.

Who are we?

Guilds are serious business, or so we’ve been told. No, we don’t really believe it either. In our humble opinion a guild should be a group of people who hang around chatting about nothing very important, help each other out in the clockworks, and occasionally get together to kick Vanaduke until his spleen pops out of his ears.

So what if we’ve got credibility problems? So what if, at the grand meeting of the guilds, our guild turned up late, hair dishevelled, shirt on backwards and unaware of the four letter obscenity scrawled on his forehead?

The point is we don’t take the game too seriously. We’re in it for the craic. We don’t require anything as vulgar as skill or high tier equipment from our membership, just the ability to form borderline coherent sentences and to take a joke.

Anarchists' guild, you say?

Yes I do say!

We are trying to divest power away from a central authority as much as possible. Which is my fancy way of saying being in charge sounds like a lot of effort. Let’s consider it a social experiment instead of laziness though. Can anarchism work in the context of an online game? Let’s find out!

In practice this means everyone has equal power to enact whatever policies they see fit to within the guild. We promote quickly and indiscriminately, and no-one is officially answerable to anyone else.

As such anything you read below is subject to change at the will of the collective.

What can our guild offer you?

A small guild with a small guild mentality - whatever that might be.
A lighthearted and carefree attitude towards the game.
Friendly and welcoming towards players of all skill levels.
A complete lack of hierarchy. Everybody gets as much power as he or she can be trusted not to abuse, and in some cases just a smidge more.
We realise an online game is sometimes not the most important thing in your life, and leaves of absence can and will occur. We will not kick absent members unless it is completely necessary in order to let in new blood. This will not be happening for a while, if it ever does; our membership is small and will most likely remain so for the foreseeable future.
Free cake (Terms and Conditions apply)

Guild rules:

More what you'd call "guidelines" than actual rules.

Don’t be a dick.
Seriously, don’t be a dick!

Direct your notices of interest or mockery or any good jokes you know to either Meeji (that’s me!) or Elizawub (that’s someone else!)

Thu, 04/11/2013 - 18:57

Everlas

Tue, 04/16/2013 - 08:04

Meeji

Is this an update I see before me?

What's that, Little Timmy?
You want to know what's going on in the guild these days?
Oh well, ok then, you rascal you.

We have 20 members so far from across all tiers, and we're still recruiting. Of the active members 90% are Officers or Masters, the others are just waiting for an existing Officer or Master to promote them based on trust. Anarchism seems to be working.

Someone slightly expanded the guild hall and put potted plants everywhere.

We still have no recruitment criteria: no boring questionnaires to be filled, no boxes to tick and no expectations of you once you've joined. So you might as well join.

We've got a Blast Network team which can often be found waiting endlessly for G-v-G matches or blowing itself up in random team games, so BN players especially might be interested in us. If you're new to BN, don't worry: most of us are too. Self-destructive tendencies are both common and hilarious.

All of the above is subject to change AT THE WILL OF THE COLLECTIVE.

If you're interested in joining, post here; message me there; find one of our members in the game and poke them - it's likely they have the power to recruit you if they wish to; or just lean out of the nearest window and scream "I WANT CREDIBILITY PROBLEMS TOO" at passersby until one of our friendly recruitment officers arrives to help you.

Wed, 04/17/2013 - 17:10

Fehzor

I would like to join.

Fri, 04/19/2013 - 00:38

Grantgalitz

Did not compute, got phallic region stuck in ceiling fan.

Edit: Thought it'd work out, apparently hitting difficulty. :/

Mon, 04/22/2013 - 14:17

Ubernerd

He's freakin' blue. Here's a list of ta- uh tax receipts.

Do you want a mostly inactive goofball of a person to lend even more discredibility to your experiment?
Have you been searching for that one bit of almost-never-online-ity that every guild needs?

If you answered "HECK YES, GERTRUDE!" to both, either, or none of those questions, then you're in luck! All you need is an Ubernerd™! The Ubernerd™ is a revolutionary new concept born from laziness, lack of time, and complete apathy! Simply invite the Ubernerd™ to your guild and you'll have a convenient placeholder person that does ABSOLUTELY NOTHING! EXCEPT FOR MAYBE THAT ONE TIME WHEN THEY DO DO SOMETHING! BUT THAT'S LIKE ONCE EVERY TWO BLUE MOONS SO WHO CARES ANYWAY? I DON'T! MAYBE YOU DO? WATCH ME TURN OFF MY CAPS LOCK! See the incredible feats of wonder that can be accomplished by the Ubernerd™! Like turning off caps lock! You may expect the Ubernerd™ to cost downwards of 5 bacon, but it can be yours for only 10 easy payments of 6 bacon every day for the rest of eternity! But wait! Act now and you can have double the Ubernerd™ ABSOLUTELY FREE! That's right! You can have an Uberalt™ ABSOLUTELY FREE! Or maybe two Uberalts™! Also still ABSOLUTELY FREE! Just pay 5,000 bacon in shipping and handling! Order now!

Special limited-time offer not valid inside or outside of the contiguous United States or pretty much anywhere else in the known or unknown Multiverse, or if you were born during the day or night.

Uberco LLC. is not responsible for any problems you definitely will encounter while using the Ubernerd™ and/or Uberalts™, or any other problem that you decide is our fault. (Hey, we didn't make you buy this stuff!) Known side effects include compulsive armpit scratching, inflammation of the naval, inflammation of the Navy, and CDO. (It's like OCD, but with all the letters in alphabetical order. Like they're supposed to be.) Extended use of Ubernerd™ or Uberalts™ may cause blindness.

Mon, 04/22/2013 - 16:45

Vishno

Sounds like you've got the right idea, good luck to you.

Tue, 04/23/2013 - 05:17

Meeji

Guilding the lily

And now it's time for totally extraneous guild update news with your host Meeji the Magnificent!

We've had credibility problems for almost 2 weeks now! Maybe we'll do something to celebrate the momentous occasion of our two week anniversary tomorrow. Far more likely though, we won't.

Our member list just keeps growing! We're at 35 now. Of those 35 only 7 aren't officers (yet). The beauty of an anarchistic lack-of-heirarchy is the guild is resilient: anyone can recruit and, unlike other guilds that atrophy and die when the GMs decide they have better things to do than play Spiral Knights, ours will always have someone - or several someones - to take over.

On an unrelated note, my spellchecker decided "lack-of-heirarchy" in the previous sentence should be spelled "cock-of-the-rock". I nominate anarchistic cock-of-the-rock as guild mascot.

The guildhall has been expanded several times. We now have three wings, an alchemy room and a mist well. We're almost like a real guild!

Remember, to join just get in contact with me or any other guild member through whichever channels you prefer. If being part of the solution seems like just too much effort, be part of the problem!

Tue, 04/23/2013 - 06:04

Fehzor

Best guild ever! I invited everyone on my friends list! All 238 of them! Woooooo!

Tue, 04/23/2013 - 07:24

Kremurgh

Ho Arceus what a big guild you have there ... do you have some non-English speaker already or should I propose myself ?

Tue, 04/23/2013 - 08:41

#10

Meeji

I believe we currently have

I believe we currently have at least two people for whom English is a second language. One of those was specifically looking for a primarily English speaking guild for the practice, in fact.

An invite is winging its way to you.

Wed, 04/24/2013 - 10:11

#11

Shadowstaar

YES.

Well, this seems interesting. This is exactly the kind of guild I was hoping to find. I want in.

Tue, 04/30/2013 - 13:58

#12

Illumi

43 members strong

Since Meeji is otherwise engaged with important matters, today, you have an illuminating update from me instead.

3 weeks on, things are well and we have more and more emerging members with Credibility Problems. 43 at the time of writing to be exact. There is almost always someone online giving a sense of activeness and we also have a sense of community with collaborative efforts on daily prestige quests and boss runs.

Here's a photo with some collaboratively-ness http://cloud-2.steampowered.com/ugc/882980616416927424/740E8E5857040D583...

I'm sure there's a joke to go with this photo. "How many knights does it take to..."

Like Meeji already said, we have members of all abilities and tiers with no entry restrictions. We do speak English in guild chat and being a dick isn't tolerated.

Tue, 04/30/2013 - 14:04

#13

Bluencool

@Illumi

Tolerated by who?

Wed, 05/01/2013 - 04:41

#14

Meeji

Doop doop.

@Bluencool

To answer your question re: tolerance I did a quick tally of the guild membership and found that we currently constitute:
13 Guild Masters
15 Officers
15 Veterans

So a great deal more than half the guild is in a position to take exception if a member starts being dickish. I'm sure we all have different levels of tolerance. That said, to date we've only ever had to remove one person from the guild.

If you would like to leave a message detailing the exact nature of the dickishness you were planning I can query the guild and return to you with a definitive answer about who will not tolerate it.

Thu, 05/02/2013 - 12:49

#15

Bluencool

@Meeji

Thanks.

Fri, 05/03/2013 - 13:24

#16

Bq-Oo

If you're still recruiting,

If you're still recruiting, i'd like in.

Fri, 05/03/2013 - 22:11

#17

Galack

@Bq-Oo

Sent you an invite, just in case something happened to Meeji which may include the following:

Too busy being awesome
Too busy not being busy
Random combustion due to feeding his ego
Being eaten alive by guildmates
Not checking the forum

Hope you can have some credibility problems!

~Galack

Tue, 05/07/2013 - 12:05

#18

Gazakiz

I would like to join. ;)

I would like to join your guild.Seems a good one,as it an anarchy one.
Waiting a invite on my SECOND ACCOUNT ONLY: Overtimer
I have left my first one that's why...;)
I would like to know how do I get promotion.Not that I'll beg,just to know.

Mon, 05/13/2013 - 14:59

#19

Meeji

If updates be the food of love, post on!

It's that time again.

What time? you ask!

Time for an update! I reply, flailing my limbs madly in paroxysmal excitement.

Yes, it's that time again when I update you as to the going-ons of our humble guild in a thinly veiled attempt to bump the thread and make us look more popular than we actually are. And I guess it must be working, because we now have 83 members. This is an absolutely crazy number and far more than I was ever expecting to join. It turns out that if you give lots of people the power to recruit indiscriminately... then they do. Who knew?

People, like Gazakiz there, have been asking what our promotion policy is. We don't have one. As soon as you join you're very likely to get bumped straight to Veteran (I promote new members straight to this level myself, and so do a lot of other GMs). Getting to Officer status is usually just a matter of hanging around and being friendly and sane for a day or two. GM status maybe a few days after that. Sooner if you help out a bit, much later if you beg for promotions. There is no system in place and no set requirements to reach any given level.

The guild hall is flourishing insofar as we now have actual furniture and stuff. We even have a bar which doubles as a throne room. Obviously we have no leader, so the throne belongs to whoever sits on it first. The bar serves a wide variety of virtual, hypothetical, theoretical and otherwise intangible drinks. They're free but I'm not sure whether that's a good deal or not.

Join us. Join us or I'll set the Elizawub on you.

Tue, 05/14/2013 - 12:50

#20

Fehzor

Cred problems is definitely one of the better guilds that I've been in.

Loads of people on often, loads of new people. Very steady and relatively relaxing. All the annoying people eventually get kicked or beaten to death, and all of the "good people" end up staying. The mist well fails, but its whatever.

Fri, 05/17/2013 - 02:06

#21

Westsunjinstersson

Guild

Can I join your guild, please? :D

Sun, 06/02/2013 - 06:46

#22

Meeji

Cry UPDATE and let slip the posts of war!

So this thread hasn't gotten its regular bump and update post in a while. That's because we reached 100 members, so there didn't seem to be much point in recruiting. But we've now bought the upgrade to raise the limit to 150!

24 of those extra 50 slots still remain! Roll up, roll up! First come, first served. Join the ridiculously fast growing and increasingly super popular guild that is Credibility Problems!

In other much cooler news we have a wiki page now. You should go have a look, if for no other reason than we have the best logo. I'm not even kidding right now. It reduces grown men to blubbering wrecks. We've had reports of people spontaneously sprouting beards after looking upon its magnificence for only a second. It's been proven to cure erectile dysfunction in laboratory mice. At least two Eastern European nations have petitioned us to allow them to use it as their national flag. It's pretty damn tops is what I'm saying.

We also have a chat room, if you're into that sort of thing. Not sure how this one will pan out, but we're trialling it nonetheless. Click here to chat with us! Now. You. Yes, you. Click. Now. Yes.

(If you're an IRC veteran, just point your client of choice at #credibilityproblems on Quakenet. You gigantic nerd.)

Mon, 06/03/2013 - 06:56

#23

Pine-Fresh

ermahgard

The logo is absolutely genius... I'm pretty sure this is how both Dumbledore and Gandalf received their beards.

Mon, 06/03/2013 - 16:35

#24

Mwenda

Can I join?

Never been in a guild... AND you had me at "Credibility Problems". This seems like a cool one to join... can I join? =)

Mon, 06/03/2013 - 17:18

#25

Ubernerd

Paid spokesperson, not an attorney.

I used to be like you: a shapeless mass of organic tissue sglorping (that's a word now, so deal with it) across the ground every day in an attempt to reach the nearest edible thing and absorb into my being. Utterly devoid of purpose or logic, I would drive the sane mad if they so much as glanced in my general direction. But no longer! I am a changed man! And it's all because I got Credibility Problems! Now I know what you're thinking. And yes, "hwuh?" is a perfectly valid question. But let me completely ignore that question to answer one that you didn't even ask me: you can have Credibility Problems for 100% of the cost! That's right! I don't give away deals! You pay full price! Sales? Forget 'em! Clearance? I don't even think that's a word! You're probably making stuff up! It's not a trick, it's not a joke- well, actually it's both a trick and a joke, but you don't need to know that! Sign up now for none of the price! Jargon! Buzzwords! Buy tomorrow or next millennium and you STILL get the same offer! Do it! You want to! Or maybe you don't want to! But do it anyway! Now!

Thu, 06/06/2013 - 16:39

#26

Meeji

To update, or not to update, that is the question

Mini update time to let people know of two developments:

First development! The guild is full (again) but keep those messages of interest coming. There is some turnover so spaces do still become available - they just don't last long. We're working towards the next membership upgrade, which will open another 50 spaces. Then they'll be filled within two days and we'll be back here again. Rinse and repeat.

Second development! We have a Steam group. So if you want to let off some steam, this is the place to do it. You don't have to be in the guild to join the group (same with the chat room in my previous post) so just poke your head around the metaphorical door if you feel like getting rid of some of that pesky credibility.

Fri, 06/28/2013 - 20:06

#27

Galack

The course of true updates never did run smooth.

Meeji is a fruitcake and this is my thread now. Here is an update!

We have spaces open for folks to come partake in some problems! In other words, we're running out of live sacrific- I mean, we're looking for people to become one of us. (Shark bait who hah hah!)

Our guild hall is coming along charmingly with the addition of a second floor and a Toughbox. So far, the purpose of the Toughbox is to block conversation between people sitting in the ring of chairs that surrounds it and serving as a cooler for our Generic Beer. It is by far my favorite box.

We have guild storage now! I toss things at it in order to achieve amounts of materials that are in exact increments of ten. I occasionally throw Thwack Hammers in there that I ripped from Gremlin corpses. If you're lucky, you might find one with blood still on the handle.

In addition to Meeji and the ever lizardy Elizawub, feel free to also PM or mail me (Galack) with inquiries, murderous threats, or your desire to join our little anarchy family.

Sun, 07/21/2013 - 15:56

#28

Acck

Greetings!

I have been looking for a new, more active guild for the past month.
Have looked at many, many guild pages on the wiki.
I am greatly intrigued by the wonderful sense of humor and casualality (yes i know it is not a word) of your page!

I play fairly regularly, with the occasional week or so break due to work constraints.

I throughly enjoy helping others through the clockworks and missions.
I play little to no lockdown due to internet quality restrictions.

So, if you will have me, I would like to jon ya.

Happy hunting,
-A

Mon, 07/22/2013 - 16:18

#29

Noctis-Cerulean

Nice guild recruit thread

giving you guys a +1 and bump for humorous guild recruit thread~

Tue, 07/23/2013 - 03:17

#30

Everlas

Wed, 07/24/2013 - 10:09

#31

Zypker

I would like to join

I have been looking for an active guild for a little while now. Can I please join this one? The less strict atmosphere would be refreshing.

Thanks,
Zypker

Thu, 07/25/2013 - 22:41

#32

Galack

The sight of updates feedeth those in threads.

Day 28: Meeji is still a fruitcake.

Welcome aboard, Acck and Zypker! This is an anarchy ship now. I'm the mermaid statue that's on the bow. (That sums up how useful I am in general.) We throw serious people of the side into the see of spelling sharks.

Okay, okay, I'm secretly bumping the thread. Ssssh.

Wed, 07/31/2013 - 15:50

#33

Tehmagix

Oh man.

Oh man, I like this guild, sign me up? I've been looking for a guild, and I realllllyyy don't take this game seriously. AND THE CAKE BETTER NOT BE A LIE. :D

Fri, 08/02/2013 - 22:54

#34

Piaf

salut a tous ♥

you guys still have open spaces? :>

Sun, 08/04/2013 - 07:01

#35

Atormer

If you still have room I'd

If you still have room I'd like to join

Mon, 08/05/2013 - 06:29

#36

Meeji

O Update, Update! Wherefore art thou Update?

Just a quick update to let you know I'm still alive, the guild is still alive, if you're reading this you're still alive too (probably).

We're still recruiting. There are currently more than 50 slots available, so come one come all. Join our little family of misfits and derps.

Fri, 08/30/2013 - 02:54

#37

Biafra

CREDIBILITY PROBLEMS INSANITY LOG ENTRY 30 AUGUST 2013

BEGIN LOG ENTRY

Hallo all!

Biafra here, one of the newer GMs (out of many) at Credibility Problems, dropping a line here with our ongoing shanghaiing, err... recrutment drive. If you're still interested in joining, give myself, big boss cat Meeji, or any one of our members a message asking in, or let us know in our IRC chat room above.

Oh, and a new development. With the recent reduction in upkeep and pricing, we now have a beautiful War Room on Floor 2, along with a fabulous connecting hallway. No longer will we have to use the stairs to traverse wings.

Well, that's all for now folks.

END LOG

Wed, 09/11/2013 - 09:36

#38

Vesperaldus

I want to bump this thread.

Sat, 09/14/2013 - 05:08

#39

Paid-To-Win

/y "I WANT CREDIBILITY PROBLEMS TOO!!!"

^ me wants to join. Sounds cool!

Wed, 09/18/2013 - 06:59

#40

Reddas

yo yo yo, b boy snake dog G

beam me up an invite, scotty
ign same as forum name

Sun, 09/22/2013 - 12:45

#41

Biafra

TO Mounthagane + Razmetrez

Your invites have been sent.

-Biafra

Thu, 09/26/2013 - 17:14

#42

Dean-Zane

BEAM ME UP SCOTTy

Send an invite to my IGN Exiled-Ranger

Sounds like the guild for good ol' Exiled.

Tue, 10/08/2013 - 10:42

#43

Galack

There is nothing either good or bad, but updating makes it so.

Meeji has evolved into a super fruitcake.

He also forgot to pay our heat bill, so our hall has developed eternal snow clouds. Thanks, Meej-cake. We also now have lovely third floor wings. I don't give Meeji any credits for that, though. Not even sarcastic ones.

In addition to the eternal clouds it's always an eternal party with us! Forever. And Always.

Sat, 10/12/2013 - 08:09

#44

Diggahole

sounds real good

if you have spaces sign me up!

Sat, 10/12/2013 - 08:09

#45

Diggahole

sounds real good

if you have spaces sign me up!

Wed, 11/06/2013 - 23:09

#46

Biafra

An update? Wow! I'll alert the media!

Well, the third floors were making our guild hall look a tad ugly, so we scrapped them in favor of a new recruitment drive. Ask one of our many fine members to join in today!

Fri, 11/08/2013 - 04:35

#47

Vandheerlorde

MEEJI! INVITE MEH O.O

Sun, 11/10/2013 - 10:38

#48

Tri-Deezy

I guess I want some

I guess I want some credibility issues today.

Sun, 12/01/2013 - 18:43

#49

Coelydragon

May I please have an invite? This sounds like an adventure on its own. (By the way, I think I'm friends with you, Meeji, already. From the guild master run thing I tried to coordinate.)

Thu, 12/05/2013 - 23:46

#50

Galack

Shall I compare thee to a forumer's update?

The following is a little blip of an update.

Meeji and Elizawub have been taking some down time, so I'm stepping in to take the throne- I mean, just keep it warm until they get back. I mean what, we're anarchists we don't have a throne. Hi! I'm here to help you rustle up some problems.

There's plenty of space n' strange to go around. And battle sprite burgers. Mmm...

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"Credibility Problems": the anarchists' guild. No leaders, no rules, no requirements, no questions. Almost not a guild at all!