RP Guides!
Wed, 04/17/2013 - 20:57
Hw 2 describe da scene lik a pr0
We'll start with the basics. This is how I write.
BASICS
First, you must learn how to describe an OBJECT, before you describe a scene. For instance, let's say you want to describe a remote. You can start off by saying how the remote looks like, while you 'pick' it up. Describe how it feels like, and try and add how it connects to you. Here's an example:
As I bent over to pick the remote up, I realized that the remote was of a sickly, faded grey, with its small buttons organized in military looking lines. Picking it up with my left hand, I found that it was quite cool to the touch, presumably due to the fact that it was left in an air-conditioned room for quite some time, bringing back memories of a distant past.
ADVANCED STUFF
Now that you've got that covered, you'll want to know how to describe a scene. You don't just randomly describe loads of objects in a scene with loads of info. No; that would be boring. What you do, is that you want to find where your attention is focused on. Say your attention is focused on a pencil laying on a table in the room. You'll want to describe the pencil, yes, but you also need to describe the other things in the room slightly vaguely. You also can also state what the pencil is on to paint more of a picture in the reader's mind. Try to add where the light is shining on, and where it's coming from. Here's another example:
Gazing around the small room, it would seem that everything was somber except for where a pool of light enlightened a dark wooden desk that sat in the middle of the room. Immediately my attention was focused onto it. Atop the wooden table stood a white striped pencil, its background a faded yellow. Its outer lead was very blunt, as if it was used to scribble notes onto the beige-colored paper that perched a few centimeters to the right of it. Looking up, you could spot a blinking light that was filled with the emotion of its surroundings: Melancholiness. Looking back down, I noticed that the dull grey walls were lined with incomprehensible words in a very elegant manner, that were colored a very subtle purple.
STUFF
You don't necessarily have to describe everything in detail, even when you are not examining it. Unless something grabs your attention, you don't describe it in great detail. Since you probably will only glance shortly at it, try shortening down your description.
From this:
The greasy, blood red rose emblazoned tiled windows let in a very dim, yet pale light that shone like a spotlight upon a black-striped pencil.
To this:
The foggy windows let in faint light.
You can see that even though the first description is more vivid, you don't really examine everything in a room unless you really want to. The second one is more realistic, as you usually only glance at your surroundings for a second or so before concentrating on what you really want to do.
END
Wed, 04/17/2013 - 23:58
#2
Describing Characters-
BASICS
Alright. Try making a basic outline of your character. Are you done yet? Here's an example of a basic outline:
Brown hair, blue eyes, lean build.
Those three words are going to become a huge paragraph. Once you're satisfied with your own basic outline, move on to the next step.
Basic-Intermediate
We'll start describing a bit more. What does he have? Does he have short eyelashes? What color is his skin? Does he have anything special on his face? How long is his hair? Here's a more detailed version of my basic outline:
medium-length brown hair, lapis-blue eyes, lean build, porcelain-white skin, short eyelashes, black eyebrows.
Yeah. It should look something like that. Remember, you don't make it into a paragraph yet.
Intermediate
Let's put clothes into the picture. Describe his/her clothing. Does he wear a blue shirt? What kind of pants does he wear? Socks? Shoes? You get the idea. Here's an example of what your basic outline of clothing should be like:
Blue shirt, white pants, white shoes, white socks.
It should look something like that. Don't get too ambitious, and start trying to put that into your appearance. It needs to be more vivid.
Intermediate-Advanced
Now we'll start describing more. What does his shirt look like? Are his pants jeans? How long are his pants? How long are his socks? Do his shoes look like they've been used a lot? Let me describe more:
Blue polo shirt with white buttons, white baggy pants that reach down to his knees, white ankle socks, white sneakers with shoelaces untied.
That's better. Now to the final step, where you combine clothing and appearance, while describing them more.
Advanced
Here we go. Seamlessly integrate them into one paragraph, where they connect with each other, while adding more description to them.
Medium-length brown hair, lapis-blue eyes, lean build, porcelain-white skin, short eyelashes, black eyebrows. + Blue polo shirt with white buttons, white baggy pants that reach down to his knees, white ankle socks, white sneakers with shoelaces untied.
=
He has medium-length brown hair that only just touches the collar of his short-sleeved polo shirt, his fringe laying just below his short, black eyebrows. His blue-polo shirt rests on his porcelain-white skin, which only compliments his lapis-blue eyes, which are framed by short lashes. His shirt covers the top of his white baggy pants that reach down to his knees, which does not restrict movement as much as you may think. His white socks are comforted by his white sneakers, which always seem to have their shoelaces untied.
END
To the readers reading this, the clothing part in my guide is optional. You can describe the character without adding description for clothes, though it won't be as vivid.
Wed, 04/17/2013 - 23:24
#3
RUSTED
SCRAPPED.
Thu, 04/18/2013 - 00:01
#4
1337
HAIZ GUYZ.
Wed, 04/17/2013 - 22:54
#5
@Ultima
We also have the right and opinion to say what we want about this. It just seems a bit...arrogant. People write how they like, I really don't like that you're trying to tell people "This is how you should be writing.". Vinny actually is giving constructive criticism, it's what he thinks of this, and how he likes to write. Not to mention he really didn't insult you or your writing style. Just straight up dissing people who respond, then getting super defensive by saying "i'm not raging" isn't really going to go over well. You're getting a bit too defensive, at least Vinny didn't go "This sucks, get off the forum." there are a lot of harsher things to be said. Maybe you're just overreacting?
Wed, 04/17/2013 - 22:52
#6
@Ultimaknightz
Read Vinnydime's post again. I don't see anything unconstructive in his post; I think you just read it the wrong way. Nobody owes you compliments, though. It's nice if they're offered, and it's culturally advisable in the United States, but it's not required.
Vin's post was loaded with constructive criticism; you'd have to be practically blind with anger to have missed it. It's obvious that he took the trouble to read through your whole post (which I didn't), and he demonstrates a lot more patience in addressing what he believes are your errors than others would have.
The only things remotely offensive in Vin's post are the following:
*His opening line: "Dude, you have a lot of errors." That was a rather impolitic way to open a post, and I think it set the tone for the rest of his criticism.
*His use of caps lock. I think it was merely meant for emphasis, but it can come across as virtual shouting.
Allow me to offer a bit of advice: if you are about to respond to someone's post in anger, read the post again; you may just be reading it the wrong way.
Wed, 04/17/2013 - 23:22
#7
1337
@Gzilla
I'm not saying in my guides 'this is how you should be writing'. No; that would be wrong. What I said was that this is how I write, and I want to share it with others. In fact, 'Vinny' does not even state what he likes to write in that post. But perhaps I am overreacting.
@Thinslayer
I do know that nobody owes me compliments, because I never said they owed me any. Also, Vin is stating in his post that MY style of writing is wrong, and so he tries to 'correct' it, because he knows that he cannot write like me. I also said that that is how I write, and I just want to share it with other RPers on the Spiral Knights forums. But instead, he tries to 'correct' me, saying that that is not how a guide should be made, and makes up facts that I have not said on the spot. But then again, after I read it again, it does seem less insulting to me, though that does not douse my hatred for his lack of even the slightest of respect for my writing style.
What you and Gzilla have to understand is that he basically posted that my guides were giving out the wrong information. But I have said that that is how I write, and I want to share it with less experienced writers and RPers. But 'Vin' has deeply offended me, even though it may not appear so to other users. If I have offended any of you two, I am sorry. It's just that I haven't ever been this offended on other forums before.
Wed, 04/17/2013 - 23:23
#8
Sorry about that...
Indeed, I was very impolite, and I also forgot to throw in the fact that this is how YOU wrote.
I was just in a finicky mood at the time (had just criticized works on another site; they were horrible), so I wanted to blow off steam by not having to read trash for once. I can say that besides those comments I made, as direct as they were, your guide was pretty well put out.
But for a guide, the style doesn't need to be exactly on the block. I couldn't help but feel that the lack of anything said about freer forms had a strangling effect.
I usually use CAPSLOCK as emphasis, unless the whole sentence is in caps. At that point, it's pretty obvious if I was raging or not.
I think the fault is more of mine's. If I had written this guide, I would have also gotten very defensive. Sorry about that.
Wed, 04/17/2013 - 23:31
#9
Less negative connnotations...
Here is my poking and prodding downtoned to a more neutral tone:
- Could you fit in a part where it states that it is your style of writing? A reader would feel restricted from reading this without some form of breathing room.
- For the scenes and objects, I'm having trouble on clarifying as to what levels do I need to describe things. Do I describe an object in detail, even when I'm not examining it?
- Can the fight actions be expanded? All I see are melee options, but I have noticed a few players have chosen guns for their weapon of choice. Also, aren't some fight scenes supposed to be alternated between two players? A fight scene with both players doing actions in succession might not work, lest powerplay happens.
- Would seperating the clothing paragraph and the physique paragraph be a bit cleaner for other writers? Since you didn't clarify if this was optional, I'm not sure how exactly how does this go...
Wed, 04/17/2013 - 23:36
#10
@Vinnydime
Sorry if I insulted you. I was angry at you for offending my writing style, and so I overreacted and threw a tantrum(even though my post stated that I did not). You had some good constructive criticism in that post, though, and I'll take that into account. You are a good writer, and I respect you and your writing very much. I overreact sometimes, and this is a perfect example of it. Only now do I see how badly I have overreacted.
So, since this is the 'RP Guides' section, and it doesn't say these guides have to all be mine(though the ones I posted are mine), why don't you come up with a guide about something that has to do with writing/RPing? It would help this topic a bunch. :)
Wed, 04/17/2013 - 23:49
#11
@Ultimaknightz & Vinnydime
That was an admirable way to settle the altercation, you two. :)
@Ultimaknightz: I was actually considering adding my own RP guide suggestion here, as you recommend. I just might do so.
EDIT: I've just read through the guide. You've got some pretty good tips in there.
Thu, 04/18/2013 - 00:29
#12
Edited the guide for
Edited the guide for describing scenes and objects, and edited the guide for describing appearances as well. One more to go.
EDIT: Finished editing. Going to make a new guide on something.
Thu, 04/18/2013 - 00:42
#13
What about RtC?
Do you still plan to continue with Return to Cradle?
Thu, 04/18/2013 - 01:16
#14
@Thinslayer
Why do you ask? I want to know what your intentions are first.
Thu, 04/18/2013 - 07:47
#15
I ask because I've heard some people note that they can only post for one RP at a time, so if you're like that, then this is essentially goodbye from RtC.
It might be possible to recover from you character's disappearance, but some RPs just fall apart when a critical character leaves (like Retribution when Kaiju left).
I plan to try your RP either way.
Thu, 04/18/2013 - 17:06
#16
@Thinslayer
I don't really know. RtC is already trying to sleep, and Retribution has slept. I think I'll make a new RP on the swarm. Wanna help me make it? Because I think of scrapping the Arena idea. It's too complex(at least for some people it is). So whaddya think?
Thu, 04/18/2013 - 19:17
#17
Sure.
I'll have to graveyard a lot of stuff, but sure, I'm up for a brand new roleplay.
Thu, 04/18/2013 - 20:38
#18
Oh god....
ULTIMAKNIGHTZ!!! THIS IS THE LAST TIME I'M ASKING!!! REDACT YOUR POST AOUT ATTACKING SEATUS IN RtC!!! HE WAS AN ILLUSION AND I DON'T WANT READERS BEING CONFUSED!!! *throws Chromalisk*
START
Alright. This is going to differ quite a lot from descriptive scenes, so to start with the basics, you need to know how fight scenes work.
Downward Slash
This is basically the character swinging his/her weapon downwards.
Upwards Slash
This is the character swinging his/her weapon upwards.
Sideway Slash
This is a slash to the side. Now, this can be quite confusing. Slashing to the left would be slashing to the OPPONENT'S left, and slashing to the right would be slashing to the opponent's right.
Thrust
This is a thrust, typically used by fencers. It's when they plunge forward with their sword.
And there's parrying as well.
Upwards Parry
This parries the downwards slash.
Downwards Parry
This parries the upwards slash.
Sideways Parry
This parries sideways attacks. Remember, when the opponent is slashing to your left, you parry to the left, because he is slashing YOUR left, not to be confused with the sideways slash.
These are the basics for swords. As for taijutsu....
Jab
A simple forward punch. Try to say something like: I jabbed at him with my right hand.
Hook
A curved punch. You normally say you 'threw a hook at him'.
Uppercut
An upwards punch. You normally say: 'I shoryukened him'.
And blocking:
Block
A block.
Now that we've got all these covered, we can now move on to the next stage.
FINISH
Now you've got to put all that together, with the exception that you describe the slashes a bit more. Here's an example:
John grabbed his sword and thrusted at my chest, his hands gripping the sword so tightly you could hear the sound of leather being torn. I moved to the right in a fast motion, and turned around to slash at his neck with my left hand. He blocked the slash with his claymore, and pushed my sword aside, leaving me immobile for a few seconds, which was all he needed to run towards me as I was staggering. He kicked me in the stomach, only adding to the pain that I had already felt, and kicked me again. I fell to the ground in pain.
Here you add some of that description into the battle, as well as describing the battle. Here's a taijutsu one:
Bob took a stance as I dashed towards him, my blood-stained feet running across the soft, wet grass. He immediately threw a hook at me as soon as I was within range, but instinctively reacting, I ducked underneath and managed to land an uppercut on his chin, sending him into the air for a second or so, before he landed back down onto the ground in a loud thump. I kicked his body, and he rolled to the side so his back was facing me.
Yeah.
MO STUFF
But in RPs, you can't powerplay unless someone gives you permission, and so it can be quite troublesome trying to write for them. Here's what you do:
You shorten it down. You write what you do, but not what they do. In some cases, you can write what they do, but you can't make your character utterly kill them. Their character has to land some hits on you too.
Player A:
I ran towards him, sword in my right hand, gun in the other. I fired a few shots at his feet to get him startled, but he did not flinch one bit. I jumped up and slashed at him just as he was within sword range, but he swiftly dodged the attack and kicked me in the back, leaving me immobile for a few seconds.
END
It's important that you focus a lot more on the battle rather than the scene if you're trying to describe a battle scene. Also, guns are relatively easy to write about. Just say you shot at some part in the opponents body, and dodging is like dodging with melee weapons.