Spiral Knights - Crown Bank! Crown Bank! Crown Bank!

Crown Bank! Crown Bank! Crown Bank!

52 replies [Last post]

Fri, 07/12/2013 - 22:41

Fehzor

I have a sad story to tell all of you, and it is not one I can admit to with any great pride.

I was going through a wolver den, when I spotted something shiny on the ground. It was a single crown, dropped by a bush. A 5 crown piece, to be exact. I immediately rushed forward and picked it up, and then hit the escape key to return to haven. The temptation was just too great- I just KNEW that there would be an ecto drop costing 5 crowns for me to buy, and sure enough, I was able to afford it... but that left me unable to play for the day, as this was the tenth time it had happened.

I just can't help it. I see low tier materials on the auction house, and I just.. must... have... them. I can't stop, and I was hoping that you guys could help me.

I've been playing this game for almost 30 years now, after I built the internet ahead of time, and I'm still a tier one knight- all I've accumulated is this garbage... I was even featured on an episode of "Hoarders" for my inability to save my crowns. I also stockpiled over 600 dead cats in my refrigerator, but I'm pretty sure it was the ecto drops, which required 3 terabytes of memory to store as a number.

I was thinking that the bank would work just like real banks do. It should give out loans, and be a for profit organization. Once you're in debt, all your earnings will be ripped out of your wallet, and your internet connection won't work for anything but the wiki, the forums, and the game's servers until you pay it all back. Every last crown of it.

Actually, I was hoping it'd work more like an angry loan shark that doubles as a piggy bank. Players would have the option to take out loans, but if the loans are not paid back in time, dark strangers would track down their IP, dress as strangers, and mug them. And the bank would hold money. Actually, the bank would take your money and hold it by default, and wouldn't tell you the amount you had unless you opened up and fully expanded your arsenal, where it would then display it as a Magic-Eye type thing. The game would also take 5% of your crowns away from you every day as payment for the bank. It would only inform you about this in the small text, and whenever you targeted the bank in the "monster weakness thing". Deals "5% of your wallet" as its damage type.

I was also hoping that the bank could start players off with student loans for completing the tutorial missions, to make the game more realistic. And then I was wanting for the various NPCs that introduce topics to force players to go to job interviews before they were given info/put to work. The loan sharks would require players to pay them back the tutorial fee before they were let off, and the game would warn players of this fact when they signed up at the beginning of the game.

Fri, 07/12/2013 - 23:41

Curious-Mewkat

Sad story, +1.

Sat, 07/13/2013 - 00:58

Mtax

I cried, -1.

Sat, 07/13/2013 - 01:53

Hearthstone

Slip through the confusion; Find a solution.

That's 0, so +2.

Sat, 07/13/2013 - 02:45

Terra-Necro

-2

Those are my ecto dwops >:o
Don't steal them from AH from me ^(=o=)^

Sat, 07/13/2013 - 06:30

Krakob

I cried so much ;_;

Sat, 07/13/2013 - 07:18

Waffleconecake

for once, I don't hate the troll

Just going to bluntly say what is wrong with the only suggestion in this troll thread (a good one for once, so +1 respect to Fehzor) is that people would just make dupe accounts, buy a bunch of stuff with the loan, trade to main then leave that account.
The part about your deposit would sorta piss off players who just wanted to use it for lels.
Either way, +1 to Fehzor for doing a troll thread right, -1 to the suggestion for obvious reasons. (maybe we should put troll suggestions in the off topic so it doesn't actually flood the suggestion forum?)

Sat, 07/13/2013 - 08:38

Skyguarder

Sad story: +1
What you're trying to suggest: -1

Sat, 07/13/2013 - 09:47

Fehzor

Well you see Waffle, if they made extra accounts, they'd have to pay back their loans for that. And if they didn't, then the people running the bank would hunt them down and bludgeon them to death.

Sat, 07/13/2013 - 10:03

Autofire

You are experiencing a PICNIC ERROR!

This.

Would.

Fix.

The.

GAME!!!!!

I'll sue OOO if they don't implement this tomorrow.

/sarcasm

Sat, 07/13/2013 - 11:16

#10

Klipik-Forum

http://forums.spiralknights.com/en/node/83703#comment-743846

Sat, 07/13/2013 - 12:19

#11

Fehzor

I do have actual ideas, I just don't explicitly say them.

Sat, 07/13/2013 - 12:23

#12

Gent-Soopakoopa

I have another idea that would make it more realistic: Barruscare. For irresponsible people
who never pay off any loans, instead of enforcing the banks, Barrus would introduce Barruscare.
He will pay off their loans for them. Instead of using his own money, however, he will instead
take the responsible players who complete their prestige missions and pay off all of their loans and
then tax them into the ground and use their money to pay off loans. It is possible to take a stand
against this system in-game with a dynamic, realistic vote system with a major biase (Just like
real life!). If you vote against it, however, 1 of 2 things will happen:

1. Your vote will not be documented

2. Worse still, your vote WILL be documented and you will be labeled as "anti-progress".

In this state, all monsters will agro at you first, and from a longer distance. If you try to
hide with a recon cloak or battle sprite power, a big arrow labeled "A shameful anti-progress
biggot is hiding here" will start floating over your head.

If you want, you can lead the exciting life of a tax dodger. However, every once in a while
cobalt knights in suits and sunglasses will start chasing you down, no matter where you are. Guild
hall, Haven, Compound 42, wherever. If they defeat you, they will INSTANTLY take all of the money
you owe, + 20% for the expenses of tracking you down. If your taxes are overdue, visiting the
Hall of Heroes before paying them off will spawn a swarm of 60-120 of these G-knights.

Sat, 07/13/2013 - 13:50

#13

Krakob

OH MY GODS I READ IT AGAIN I CRIED A BUCKET OF TEARS ;_;

Sat, 07/13/2013 - 14:07

#14

Gravelord-Caste

Laughter is the countdown to devastation

I laughed at "dead cats".

Is that bad?

Sun, 07/14/2013 - 12:55

#15

Inferno-Forum

Derpuraptor strikes back

Oh Fehzor, you make me laugh so much. Keep doing what you're doing! (And for once, I have to place a smiley in my posts.) :D

Sun, 07/14/2013 - 14:27

#16

Doctorspacebar

Pistol is best weapon in TF2

@Gent: Don't do it! I'll among be the first victims, I'm a straight male blue 5* bomber!

@both Gent and Fehz: Great troll thread, but I'd love to see some actual suggestions too.

Sun, 07/14/2013 - 20:00

#17

Coelydragon

1. Clicks topic
2. Starts reading
3. Sees randomness
4. Skims the rest
5. "What kind of crazy newbie just joined the suggestions sub-forum?"
6. Scrolls down
7. Sees +1
8. Scrolls up to see original poster
9. "Oh"
10. Coelydragon's eyes glaze over. Derrrrrp.

Sun, 07/14/2013 - 23:03

#18

Fehzor

I am quite the crazy newbie, aren't I?

Mon, 07/15/2013 - 00:10

#19

Coelydragon

You are quite the opposite. Just that sarcasm and randomosity is a great disguise as one.

Mon, 07/15/2013 - 01:15

#20

Fehzor

I was going to write a response to you, but instead I'm going to post this song that I like. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_KtJYTyylps

Mon, 07/15/2013 - 01:32

#21

Coelydragon

Awkward...

That wasn't your response to me, right?

Mon, 07/15/2013 - 02:27

#22

Fehzor

No, it was a random song that I listened to earlier and enjoyed. What'd you think of it? She has a really nice voice, I thinks.

Mon, 07/15/2013 - 03:10

#23

Coelydragon

Not my type of song, so I'll go with no. She has a nice voice I think, though.

Mon, 07/15/2013 - 06:20

#24

Hexzyle

Favourite music genre: Game/Doujinshi

Eh, I don't usually listen to non-synthesized singers or music. It's because the melody is far more important to me than vocals:
The only non-synthesized stuff I listen to is piano, celtic/vioilin, or orchestral/symphonic. I wanna be a creepy guy with one of those huge organs in my house, and play evil music on it each night before going to bed. Or just be a rich guy and have a grand piano, either way's fine with me.

So don't ask me "does this person have a good voice?" because I can't tell.
There we go. That's my random not-contribution to the forums for the day.

Mon, 07/15/2013 - 07:16

#25

Gent-Soopakoopa

You should also surround small sections of your house with asbestos and then set fire to them. Also, dig out random pits in
your basement and fill them with lava. THEN buy a huge organ. Like a whale liver. Finally, paint an EVIL angry face on it and
make it into the blob miniboss. Whenever someone walks into the basement, play EVIL music on your xylophone.

Mon, 07/15/2013 - 07:19

#26

Ink-Incorporated

I like Fehzor, and I'm not taking offense in to him, but I love it how people +1 a crown bank suggestion when a veteran makes it, but when some random newcomer makes it there's a storm of -1s. He may have formatted it differently, but he's still suggesting a crown bank.

Mon, 07/15/2013 - 10:27

#27

Hexzyle

@Gent-Soopakoopa

I lol'd.

Mon, 07/15/2013 - 14:04

#28

Gravelord-Caste

/reply Ink-Incorporated

For the record, people gave Fehzor +1s for the story, and -1s for the suggestion itself.

I guess people hate an idea regardless of who says it.

Mon, 07/15/2013 - 23:00

#29

Autofire

You are experiencing a PICNIC ERROR!

@Gravelord-Caste

Are you familliar with my pet thread? :P

Some ideas are bad until fleshed out.

Tue, 07/16/2013 - 15:17

#30

Fehzor

If the crown bank was established, it would have everyone that opposed it mugged of their life. Not of their wallet, their life. The large bulky men and one female bodybuilder that the bank will hire to dress as strangers will show up at your house and use a device to take years off of your life. This would mean you too, inkorporation. So you'd better +1 the idea for support, because when it comes about...

...you'll be forced to read more than the first line of the OP!

Tue, 07/16/2013 - 19:04

#31

Ink-Incorporated

I read more than the first line.

I said that you formatted it differently, but it's still a crown bank. I don't want to start an argument so let's drop this before we get serious.

Tue, 07/16/2013 - 19:39

#32

Xxpapaya

The papaya has your organs

@Hexy (Hexzyle), Gent-Soopakoopa
I have your organs :)

Tue, 07/16/2013 - 20:34

#33

Hexzyle

Mwahaha, Adjutants don't need organs :P

Yes, I know you're referring to me when you say "Hexy", by the way the Z in my name is supposed to be capitalized.

Tue, 07/16/2013 - 20:56

#34

Rating

Or...just spend $$, get CE,

Or...just spend $$, get CE, and convert it to crowns...

I think that's what OOO is trying to get us to do, not come up with proposals for workarounds to that...

-1 for all eternity to crown banks. Interesting idea, but there's absolutely no way this would EVER work.

Tue, 07/16/2013 - 21:02

#35

Waffleconecake

I hate you all, besides hexyle and MAYBE gent

stop.frasuckuing.necroing.you.evi.floasduing.tattortos

Tue, 07/16/2013 - 21:23

#36

Ink-Incorporated

Wafleconecake, that's okay.

I probably hate myself more than you hate me already.

Tue, 07/16/2013 - 21:29

#37

Hexzyle

How is it necroing? It's been commented on every day since its creation only 5 days ago.

Tue, 07/16/2013 - 21:51

#38

Ink-Incorporated

HexZyle, that's what I wonder a lot too. One time, people considered me posting on a DAY old thread a necro.

Thu, 07/18/2013 - 14:43

#39

Gravelord-Caste

/reply

Waffleconecake: Well, if you didn't hate me, I'd have thought you to be a soulless husk with the emotional capacity of a dead gnat.

Autofire: Nope, haven't seen your thread. And while I'm aware some ideas have potential, this, I don't think, is one of them.

Thu, 07/18/2013 - 18:07

#40

Waffleconecake

I HAVE EMOTIONS. LET ME EXECUTE THEM FOR YOU

i hate allot of people >:O One of them that I also love (nonsexual) would be gent-"ImTheOnlyGoodTroll". I also (kinda) like hex and I respect Zeddy.

Thu, 07/18/2013 - 19:37

#41

Thegreatpiggy

:'(

Sad story, but you said "piggy bank," so, does this mean all funds will go to me?

/e starts getting interested.

Thu, 07/18/2013 - 22:03

#42

Hexzyle

I get "impressions" of

I get "impressions" of people, of which last 2 weeks before fading back to neutral, but never hate anyone.
I'm ridiculously blunt with my opinions though. Feel free to ask! :P

Thu, 07/18/2013 - 23:08

#43

Fehzor

By some standards, my alarm clock is a necromancer each morning.

WHAT IS IMPRESSION OF ME HEXILE?

Fri, 07/19/2013 - 05:51

#44

Hexzyle

Currently neutral, I guess.

Regular forumer with a moderate but slightly overused sense of humour and seems to be trying (a little too hard sometimes :P) to follow in the footsteps of others, namely people like Luguiru, some of the lockdown regulars, maybe because you like parodying? Anyway, I don't see much serious stuff from you, and a lot of the stuff I skip over because I know it's pretty irrelevant or random, although I do click on a link sometimes (I usually avoid YouTube links because I have slow internet)
I guess you're all about having fun rather than caring? That's kinda opposite from me because I have fun by being serious.

Fri, 07/19/2013 - 06:40

#45

Fehzor

I actually really dislike Luguiru's posts. I told him this once. I used to write a bunch of things about "improving the game", but no one cares when you do this, and it is just a tremendous waste of time.

Currently I am of the opinion that a level editor would be the way to "save the game", as this could work with steam workshop and open up a world of possibility and challenge for the game due to its rogue-like nature. Why design levels, when you could simply have varying themes for levels based on criteria, and then "level segments" like we do... but more of them? But I do not write about this for I will likely not be heard. And if I'm going to have "good ideas", then why should I share them? Self improvement is masturbation.

So now I just make fun of people here. That is the purpose of the forums. A place to waste your time and hate on other people.

Fri, 07/19/2013 - 07:00

#46

Ink-Incorporated

I don't have a problem with Luguiru's post, but I thought that there was no forum veteran that disliked his posts. There is one, though...

I feel like I'm finding a rare species.

Fri, 07/19/2013 - 07:17

#47

Hexzyle

@Fehzor

And that, is how trolls are born.
{insert meme here}

Fri, 07/19/2013 - 07:25

#48

Hexzyle

@Ink-Incorporated

I'm over the novelty of Luguiru. He was funny at first, but now it's stale.

Sat, 07/20/2013 - 10:53

#49

Rainjinmaru

REALITY TIME

not to be a fun-breaker party-pooper, but the game hasn't even been out for 30 years. not even 3 years i think

Sun, 07/21/2013 - 13:08

#50

Pipipipipi

I realised something about

I realised something about the G-knights, all you have to do is go into ath, wait for them to spawn, everyone beats them up

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Crown Bank! Crown Bank! Crown Bank!