<< Chapter 2: Unforgotten >>
(Admonish and Sitona, having left the room, join with the others in the main hall. Few asked what happened… those whom did received the same words Sitona did. For the remainder of the party, Admonish maintained the light-hearted mood, despite the saddening conversation he and Destroyer held. However, toward the end, he began to think of what destroyer had said… he is addressed on the matter after having been seen staring blankly off into the air to think)
Darkflame Slayer: I can tell you are thinking… and it is not about the refreshments, either… go ahead, tell me what's on your mind.
Admonish: Remember earlier, when we stepped aside to talk, and he stayed to have some time?
Darkflame: It wasn't in the least hard to see that you were not presiding over the crowd…
Admonish: When we spoke… he told of his less fond memories held from the operation… can't help but feel bad for him… and, he got me thinking that those whom made the ultimate sacrifice to bring upon the cause to celebrate here… they may never even have a proper funeral; some going un-named to be buried in mass burials if not already without a body to bury. I feel it only appropriate they receive what is due…
Darkflame: It just happens to be near ending time for the victory celebration. You could presumably do it now that it won't cause unrest.
Admonish: That was why i was thinking of it…. i shall give them the unofficial marking they deserve on their epitaph… may not be in a true sense… but they shall be remembered as deserved.
(The two nod in agreement that this is what should be done, and then Admonish steps onto the podium in the center of the room)
Admonish: *clearly and loudly* If i may gain your attention, Owsla.
(Admonish clears his throat, and begins to deliver a compelling speech, that properly honors their sacrifice…. yet, acts motivationally in it's composition)
Admonish: The celebration of our victory at the footsteps of the gremlin military is near it's end… but before we may leave this gathering of all to honor crimson hammer, we must first remember what we are honoring. The battlefield was not won without blood drawn; there are many who will never join us again in our fair guild hall… many of those may never even gain a marked grave. These men have made the ultimate sacrifice, so that we may advance in our goal to one day leave Cradle… these men who may never be even heard of dead by some they cared about, who showed only the greatest stretch of devotion; let it be heard, that you shall remain with us, unforgotten. And that we shall take the gateway you have opened, and proceed to go through it as one, as you did move against it so as to open it. You may never see remembrance elsewhere, but let it be known, that we at Owsla will never forget. May you be eternally with us above. Amen
(Admonish, now having properly paid tribute to those whom had fallen, steps down from the podium, and returns back to speak with Darkflame)
Admonish: *speaking normally again* And so let it be said. It has been done.
Darkflame: So… i assume, by your speech, we are to plan our expedition to the core with even more immediacy than may previously have been planned… correct?
Admonish: We form our plan tomorrow, and launch it as soon as we are trained up and ready.
(As the gathering disbands, and all head off to their bunks; ad proceeds into the war room to think… to plan… to prepare an idea of what will be done)

<< Chapter 4: Devised Descent >>
(Sitona and Icreep, now in the war room, begin looking around to count heads… see who they could find in attendance around the long meeting table. At the end of the room furthest from the exit, Admonish was seated; hunched over his notes… getting a last view over the plan he had set. "It is sure to work" he thought. Icreep and Sitona had determined everyone was present at this point… except for Destroyer, and that all was ready for the meeting to begin. With that, they were seated)
Admonish: I am glad you could all turn up, despite any factors that may have kept you occupied. Seems Destroyer has yet to arrive… we'll have to continue without hi-
(At that moment, Destroyer enters. The room falls silent as he moves to grab the nearest seat to the far end. It is certain he will speak on the matter of their path of descent.)
Admonish: Ah… there you are. Glad to see you could make it. I trust you slept well then?
Destroyer: I have had more restful nights…. but I'm fine.
(With that he falls attentive to Admonish as he presents his plan, and as does the rest of the room… watching and listening carefully as he spoke)
Admonish: *with enough volume and clarity to be heard throughout the room* Now then. As you are all aware, the desolation of the crimson order has left the gremlin resistance, which has long blockaded our path, as a whole a less active and formidable force. With full knowledge that we have a large window of opportunity open before us all, it only makes sense that we would take it; and i assure you, this is an open window we shall traverse through. By this time tomorrow, we shall move into the haven arcade and proceed to enter the gate we will have had meticulously prepared for our venture down. This gate shall be taking full advantage of the weakening of the gremlin forces; and we will move through the, now mostly devoid, areas known to have had gremlin activity; particularly ones with reportedly less activity, and also ones we simply expect to be lower. The gate we go through shall be designated "Iron Serpent", and of the bunch, will be our best bet toward reaching the core. We may meet a little resistance, but levels of resistance we cannot combat should not come our way.
(Destroyer shifts his position in his seat and clears his throat)
Destroyer: It seems you have already been careful in your arrangement of these plans… while i don't see anything to change myself; I have had visions… something will be waiting for us, and it didn't seem like a good thing, either. We mustn't be off-guard, and we must be careful to ensure we take no chances. Our feeling of safety may very well be a false one, and we certainly don't want whatever it is that awaits being warned of our venture… should we meet resistance, we must stamp it out entirely… surrender or not.
Admonish: *looks to Destroyer* Are you certain this is the appropriate reaction that we should take? If they surrender, it only seems to make sense we give them the liberty of doing so.
Destroyer: *looking back at Admonish* Call it a little bit of vengeance for the thousands that have died to the same actions from them. They have done little to deserve any courtesy or sympathy. We never even intended to get involved in conflict with them and they made us involved in it. They only want us dead… and at this point, why should we want any different of them?
(With these words, Admonish falls silent, now also fearing for how the events at operation crimson hammer have affected him. He knows he can't do anything for him, but holds the same fears Icreep and Sitona hold… he would certainly not want him acting in this vengeful manner. At the same time, the thought that his visions may warrant some degree of caution lead him to accept the precautions as reasonable, if what he has foreseen is true. As a result, he refrains from requesting he repeal the statement. As he sits there, after a while of science and whispering among the guild, Destroyer begins to bolster morale for the journey ahead with a final closing statement)
Destroyer: *loudly* We shall do this in the name of the spiral order, in the memory of those fallen, and for the glory and honor of Owsla!
(After many hoo-rahs and cheers, the meeting had disbanded. The worries surrounding Destroyer, however; did not. Regardless of those worries, however; there were important matters at stake. All began to train, prepare, and rest for the day to come.)

Nah, it is fine to get some community input. That IS the point of porting it on to the main forums, after all; is to attract a wider audience to it. A comment here and there just assures that it is doing it's job... and the fact that you like it despite the points you have made means I have to be doing something right, and that is what I want.

Yes, it is early on... and yes, I am trying rather hard to break the repetition (chapter four almost didn't get in... then i decided it had to happen eventually)... but what can you do? You need to get those important plot elements out, characters introduced, and whatnot. This is, indeed, one of those things that will seem to be a little slow for the initial parts; not an odd trait for a story to adopt, I suppose, and if these things are rushed through and cut for detail (one could argue they are enough by my desire to hold viewer interest between chapters), a little plot detail with rather big weight will likely be skipped. Yes, it feels like a long intro... because it is. But by chapter 8, things SHOULD be in full swing... if not, you have reserved right to shove these words back down my throat until i choke on them. It seemed that the story progression was a sidenote overall on your review, but this should clarify on that.

Yes, this is going to have combat scenes. They will be executed in the manner the non-speech text is in other areas, with interruptions for dialogue where necessary. As far as goes your question regarding the format, i may have not thought through for efficiency. I ended up with at least 3 walls-of-text in the action notes marked with () thus far. My intent, thinking back, was to make it easily adapted when I choose to go for animating it... and, well... I do suppose it could pose some issues with writing. If there is an abrupt change of format, that will be why... but at the moment, I do believe this format should suffice.

Hmm... I see. Didn't think much of that... now remembering, that was the last thing I tagged on, and it was tagged on to build on the emotional feeling (Again, want to build up on the characters here). I didn't actually catch that issue. When i get the chance, that will be fixed.

Off of curiosity in attempt to get a second opinion, would anyone be up for the idea of character subs? I know the main focus of the story, and I have no shortage of options to pull out as stands; but it may be nice to get a character i otherwise could not come up with or two, allowing a broader range of personalities amongst the cast. They will most certainly be available if there is enough demand, but I don't feel like throwing them up yet if noone wants to, or it could affect the overall mood and progression of the story arc.

<< Chapter 6: Stains of Red >>
(The soldiers, pressing onward, have now advanced through 16 levels, leaving a trail of victims behind… none of which are their losses. non-countered thus far, confidence has spread that this will finally be the day of reckoning for leaving cradle. Hope. A dying force which has returned to familiarity with the knights. As Destroyer moves fourth, the weakened state of the gremlin might continues to show, putting down counter after counter without even expiring the usefulness of the frontline defensive array. He stops to shout more praise to their strength and further improve morale)
Destroyer: We show now the gremlins, monsters and savages they, what real might is… let there be no escape for them to regroup, no prisoners to send distress signals, and we shall be unstoppable
(Even as he says this, however, a new force comes over the horizon, and as the phalanx risen up their spears and blades, the force comes into clarity… this one larger…bulkier… ready to fight… and drones underfoot.)
Destroyer: No way… how...
Sitona: What shall we do then commander? What is it?
Destroyer: Front phalanx, Ready shields! Magnus team, take aim! All legion Swordsmen charge, Gunners to flank, bombers set the mines!
Icreep: What is the situation? What's going on?
Destroyer: Darkfang troops and bots ahead…
Icreep: B-but… the warmaster supplied them… how…
Destroyer: Exactly.
(The gremlins came faster, closer)
Destroyer: Buckle down to fight men!
(As the battle sets into motion, the thwackers charge, being knocked away by the shields of the frontlines, which begun to drive them back with their spears. The swordsmen slip through and mow them down, as the gunners, divided between cover for guerrilla tactics and the shooting lines, fire off a sky-coating volley. The mines are triggered, and blow no shortage of the scuttlebots out of commission. The bombers light up the field of gremlins with fire bombs, just as the enemy mechaknights are ordered to press by a designated rearward mender general, who is then taken down by oncoming needles. The mechaknights knock away the frontal defensive formation, but the knights react fast, scrapping them before they came for the kill. Stragglers proceeded to retreat, and were shot down by the oncoming crossfire. No casualties, and few injuries, thanks to the quick action of Destroyer, and the performance of the soldiers; but this attack left many questions.)
Destroyer: The crimson order should be in disarray… the warmaster isn't even alive to supply such a force, i have the shell of the round that killed him… he is gone… and it came without even having a distress signal sent out… how?
Admonish: Perhaps it is just remnants, leftovers from other secondary arsenals being thrown at us to slow our speed… perhaps they chose to press on the same day we did.
Destroyer: True… but… at least a few of those scuttlebots and mechaknights seemed fresh from the works…
Admonish: Perhaps just some polish and re-arming?
Destoryer: No… this isn't right… we weren't supposed to have any resistance here. We picked the gate just to do such.

<< Chapter 8: Revelation in Red >>
(At the moment, Destroyer found himself crawling out of the rubble. Corpses of his fellow knights and the assassination gremlins alike surrounded him. He now had a sudden feel of deja vu. But when a figure showed up out of the darkness, it suddenly became more than just deja vu… this was cold, hard, irony… this time, it was real… had to be a dream like this that actually happened. The events played out as if read off a script recycled from his own nightmare. Each word scarily similar to those he remembered from previously… all from the eerily similar shadowed, red, torn-robed, figure. It's eyes focused on him, one eerily glowing and unblinking. All played up to the dream's ending point. Now he would know who had haunted his dreams, and now hunted him and his budding knight cohorts)
Shadowed Figure: *Chuckles* Seems being civil is too much for your kind. But before i may respond to your call and open the door to your fate, allow me to… re-introduce myself
(He reached for the tattered hood and pulled it from his face… or… as would be more properly said, his mask. A mask in the shape of an avian… with the left eyehole shattered, and a crimson order insignia stamped on its forehead. Within the eye socket of the left (or in its place, rather) was a robotic eye, staring on him intently as it focused it's lenses, and the HUD on it worked to target him. It was at this time he saw also the bandolier at his side, and the hammer in his arms, now activated and spewing flames from it's force-increasing rockets.)
Seerus: Remember me?
(Destroyer falls weak to the ground, limp, head hurting. The memories of crimson hammer coursed back to him so many, so fast, he could no longer act… he could no longer think. Merely curl up, let the feelings of hate come fourth without being able to carry them out)
Destroyer: N-no… i-it can't be… y-y-ou're dead…. I KILLED YOU!
(Under the scarf, the warmaster gave a sly, foxlike smile.)
Seerus: I got better… but you… you won't…
(He heaves his hammer upward, whacking Destroyer to his side. The crunching of his ribs could be heard from across the room. Destroyer reached to draw his revolver as he landed, but was quickly picked up by the legs, swung over, and slammed into the ground, leaving forever a dent and stain at the place at which he had impacted. He bounced up, landing 2 feet away. Seerus took up 2 bombs from his side and, igniting them, tossed them at Destroyer, blowing him away.)
Seerus: *Cackling wildly* Some general… you who have made a mess of my arsenal, my defensive project, roarmulus, and me myself for a time… now nearly a stain on the floors of cradle.
(Hefting his hammer again and slamming it down hard on destroyer, he is shoved 3 levels down)
Seerus: You, a mere wrench in the works that are our existence, can soon consider yourself disposed of. But don't worry. You will look lovely toted into battle hung from a pole… limp and lifeless, with a lovely dent where your forehead was.
(He shot Destroyer with his newfound ranged weapon, a modified pulsar somewhat like the polaris the knights use. 3 rounds left him down for the count. He revved up his hammer for a finishing strike, jumped downward. Just as Destroyer's fate seemed certain, a vog coat-wearing knight jumped fourth, pushing Seerus back against the walls of the clockworks)
Admonish: So would you.
(He is joined by blitz gunners, surrounding the levels above them on either side. Admonish brandishes his sword and moves over to Destroyer)
Admonish: Oh good lord… his pulse is down, he needs an EVAC!
(Knights move to pick him up and carry him off. Admonish signals the gunners to stand down, and pulls back)
Seerus: Ah… your shameful knight pawns save you this day… this shall not be our last encounter!
(Destroyer slowly opens his eyes, squinting… gasping in one more breath, his eyes seal up)