After years of studying, watching people (figuratively) kill each other over having an opinion, watching people ban each other over having an opinion, watching people abuse people because they're under pressure and can't live up to expectations, and finally, people who actually do (literally) kill each other over having opinions and being unable to live up to expectations, I have finally come up with a plan to rid expectations from the planet.

DISCLAIMER

-this guide was designed to maximize your enjoyment of the world, however, you will require massive effort to pull this through. if this procedure fails, do not be alarmed; this procedure has failed for 1 in 2 users of "video games" "television" "literature", or any form of mass media in the past 20,000 years. please submit feedback to [SOMEWHERE IN NEVADA] and hopefully we'll get back to you.

-if this guide works, great, give it to someone else and hope it works. if not, please stop usage and consider attending a medical institution or a help group. YOU ARE NOT ALONE. THERE ARE 7 BILLION PEOPLE IN THE WORLD. THEY ARE ALL HUMAN BEINGS. TALK TO THEM, AT LEAST ONE OF THOSE 7 BILLION WILL HELP YOU.

okay ready?

1. write out a list of all your expectations in life. this includes expectations of your family, your friends, your loved ones, your pets, yourself, the things you like, the things you don't like, and whatever. write them all down on a sheet of paper, or a notebook, or whatever you use to record your stuff- put it down on there

2. take a look at all of them carefully. this is the last step- you cannot go back after you pick this. you can, but then it defeats half the purpose of it. just don't and make up your mind right now if you want those expectations

3. still here? alright, take a last look at all of them and DOWNGRADE your expectations until you are absolutely, 100% completely sure those expectations can be fufilled.

4. look around you. YOUR EXPECTATIONS ARE BEING FUFILLED!

if this guide does not work, and those 7 billion people earlier won't help you or you don't trust them to help you, consider snarking, being sour, or joining the Order of the Knights Hospi-sour.