What a fanfic of Popoixd ? OMG !!! Who Popoixd ?
Tue, 09/17/2013 - 18:05
-What !??!?!? You want ME to write a fanfic about Spiral Knight ?
-Yup
-But are you crazy im super bad about thing like that !
-Don't care.
-No no and no again !
-Don't care
The strange guy take out a gun and say ''WRITE.''
I awnser him ''Ok ok i will.''
And thats how i started writting the Fanfic.
Ok so huh its will be the story of a knight and his seraphynzx trying to get to the core.Huh no just read this Fanfic.Ok I think its will start whit a Knight doing the missions.But its will get to somethign else.Rendon you gotta get in this fanfic.
OK OK before qe start anything:
1)English my second language ok so if there is misspeeling don't kill me.
2)How i write is huh strange.
3)By reading this you accept to not sue me for eye ball explosion.
4)Its my first fanfic about anything EVER ok so take thats in note before killing me.
5)If you see misstyping (like if i write liek instead of like) say it to me.
6)I use ''x text'' for what Popoixd think but i can use it sometime for talknig but i make LOT of dialog.,I use *x text* for sound like *BIM BAM* and I use
-Bla bla
-Bloblo
-Bli bli
For dialog.
7)I can be crude sometime but i try to be realistic.Ok in my fanfic monster don't magiaclly disapear and drop crown and heat.And we need to eat to.
CHAPTER 1/ONE:
The begining.
Ffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffut........BAM.''Urgh, its was hard'' was thinking Popoixd when the escape pod crashed on the ground.
He tried to open the door, but its was jammed.''Why do things like that always happen to Me? Oh here are my equip if I encounter ''evil'' life form.''He took his Proto sword, his gun, his armor and his helm. POW! The door was fluttering away with a shot of Proto gun.''Hehe always loved thing like that.''He was getting out of the pod when he heard a *BIP BIP BIP BIP.*''Where do that's come from??? Oh it's my Com Link.''
-''Yes who calling me? Asked Popoixd.''
-''Knight Popoixd is it you? Answered the stranger knight.''
-''Yes it's me, you who are you?''
-''I'm Rhendon my pod crashed near your pod. He informed Popoixd.''
-''OK I'm coming.''
-''OK bye.''
-''WAIT no don't close your Com Lin...''
BZZT and Rhendon Com Link was off...
''Argh now I don't know if there is ''evil life form'' around.''He started walking when he saw a strange beat like animal. It's had fur all over and a big tail.
''What's that? Bah its so cute its can't be evil.''(Note of the authors: NEVER think that of a wild animal. Never...)Then he stated petting the wolver. But he just had the time to feel a bite in his back he was unconscious. When he awoken ed up he seen the face of a knight and some dead wolver around.
-''Who are you?'' I said.''
-''I'm Rhendon.'' He ansewred.
-''The guy who called me?''
-''Yep in person.''
-''Great, great. Now question time.'' I said him.
-''?''
-''First, what tried to kill me?'' I asked.
-''Wolver.''
-''A wolwhats???''
-''A wolver, a beast monster, its bited you in the back and you got unconscious.'' He said me.
-''OK...''
-''They was trying to get you apart and to eat you in little piece. I got here right in time.''
-''Oh my god!''
-''Here EVERYTHING is trying to eat or to kill you.'' He continued.
Then we continued to walk in direction of nothing.
______________________________________________________________________________________
Its was the black night. We were eating some roasted wolver. He told me:
-''Popooixd, what do you think if wed adventure in team?''
-''In team?'' I asked him.
-''Yeah this world evil and is not a place to adventure in solo. Its would be easier to survive if we would stay in team!''
-''OK why not.''
-''Great.''
We continued to eat. But because it's a fanfic something HAS to happen. BOOM and a proto gun shot was coming of the shadow of the night making my roasted wolver exploded!
-''Hey you made my roasted wolver explode! Come here if you are a Knight!'' I yelled out.
-''What, other knight?'' I heard.
But then she (yep, it's a girl) came out of the shadows and said
-''Sorry I thought its was wolver...'' She said.
-''No it's not wolver eating us it's us eating wolver.''
-''You are eating WOLVER!?!??''
-''Yes we need to eat we are not robot...''
-''You already ate ALL your provision wow!''
-''WICH PROVISION?!?!?!?'' I and Rhendon answered at the same time.
-''You guy are really unbelievable, but hey what's your name?''
-''Mine is Popoixd.'' I said hem.
-''Me its Rhendon!''
-''Great, my name is Moonchichi.'' She answered.
TO BE CONTINUED...
i will finish this chapter later.
PS:I'm writting little bit by little bit ok.....
Tue, 09/17/2013 - 18:26
#2
Derp. :3
Umm.
First off, I think it would be a good idea to use proper grammar. I know English isn't your first language and I understand it's a very hard language to learn.
When dialogue between characters happen it is a good idea to do this:
"Yes who calling me?" asked Popoixd.
"Knght Popoixd is it you?" responded the unknown caller.
"Yes its me, you who are you?"
"I'm Rhendon my pod crashed near yours," the knight named Rhendon informed me.
"Ok I'm coming."
"Ok bye."
You don't have to add the "said", "responded", "informed" every line, but that's how I prefer to do things.
And I really do implore you to give an effort to make sure your spelling and grammar is correct. It makes all the difference, bad spelling and grammar tend to scare people off. Or yell at you for it. Either way, it's a good idea. Just simply saying that English isn't your first language isn't going to cut it.
Other than my ranting about grammar and dialogue, I think it was a nice start. Like I told Sandwich, give more feeling and emotion. Describe more to the story, connect us to the character.
Tue, 09/17/2013 - 18:45
#3
Iseyyy cuuube
Yup Icecub- I mean, ahem, 'Isey-Koobe ' basically summed it up. Something I've noticed, however, is that everyone who isn't proficient within the English language have lots of typos, despite there being a spellcheck. Is there no red squiggly line under all the words that are incorrect? Or is that just me? O.o
Anyways, I respect your of approach in writing, but it is quite difficult to discern as to who exactly is speaking within your text, because hyphens are not a very conclusive form of character expression. It is best if you use quotation marks, hence the name "Quotation Marks" for they exist to 'quote' someone, as well as applying a way for the audience to understand who is speaking, because to you it may make sense, but to others it is perplexing..
I'm not trying to berate your attempts to share your literary talent with us, but rather reinforcing Isekube's previous statement of better reorganization, because the masses, unlike me and Ise, are intolerable of something that is not of ease to read. It takes guts to begin a fan fic, so try your best, and take into your consideration the advice of others.
I hope to see more work from you in the near future!
Tue, 09/17/2013 - 20:17
#4
I told you my prologue was bad for a reason
I give it one thumb up and one thumb down. The thumb up is for making your fanfic at least readable and effort. The thumb down is for everything Ice Cube said and implying there will be eyeball explosions. :(
Wed, 09/18/2013 - 05:13
#5
BAM,you got head shotted (talking of myself)
@Dat-Isey-Koobe:I know saying english not my first language will not save me i just wanted to say before we start anything.And about the who talking iits ggod I'll do what you said.And do you know something thats show you your misspelling?Like Bonpatron?
@Hex-Slash:Yup its take guts.....or someone whit a gun on your head........JUST KIDING like allway.
Wed, 09/18/2013 - 17:49
#6
I'm the guy holding a gun to your head
Continue or be shot.
Wed, 09/18/2013 - 20:37
#7
If you wish, I would gladly cover all of your grammatical and spelling errors.
NEWs NEWs NEWs again ! This post will be for news like if had a new chapter or something like thats.`
Last News:I had some sugestion of the guy under this post.
I'm now using Spell CHeck Plus free version
FANFIC SUSPENDED