Spiral Knights - The Professional Beggar

The Professional Beggar

16 replies [Last post]

Mon, 03/31/2014 - 02:16

Arcknightdelta

I love standing around haven wearing my Divine/Kat costume. I watch as time ticks by and as things quickly change on screen.

New knights join the haven, some just pop out of existence, sometimes you see knights running backwards near the fountain or messing around with other knights. Knights can be seen browsing through the items on the Auction House. I see knights advertising their sale. I see knights initiating trades or inspecting the gear of another knight. I see a bunch of knights huddled close together all in the same guild, chatting, laughing, playing. But amongst all of this is The Professional Beggar or T.P.B. for short.

The Professional Beggar has never eluded my experienced eyes. Once dressed in full proto, The Standard Beggar has evolved. Now dressed in full wolver they blend in well, but AKD knows their evil intentions. Carefully I watch as each knight they walk by triggers a trade, I notice the same comment is repeated over and over from knight to knight;

The Professional Beggar initiates trade
T.P.B: "Give me Xcr"
Innocent Knight: "?"
Knight cancels trade.

As I watch T.P.B moves onto their next victim. T.P.B slithers through the crowd of knights. One by one pestering them, bothering, irritating, always asking for varying amount of crowns depending on how successful their last begging went. Like a snake through tall grass T.P.B remains ever so stealthy. Ever so professional. Until T.P.B gets to AKD. The White Kat. The Guardian Kat Angel!

The Professional Beggar is cautious. It stares at the shinning Kat Guardian in front of it. But T.P.B is never afraid.
The Professional Beggar initiates trade
T.P.B: "Give me Xcrs please"
AKD: "Give me Xcrs please"
The Professional Beggar is startled
T.P.B: "..."
AKD: "Give me Xcrs please"
T.P.B: "Buy my mats"
AKD: "Show me"
The Professional Beggar shows AKD random 1 star mats
AKD: "How much?"
T.P.B: "Xcrs"
AKD is cunning. AKD puts in 1,000,000crs
The Professional Beggar is drooling, they are wetting their pants now. They want it. They need it! It presses trade quickly. AKD loads up youtube and watches 'Fails of the Week.'

The end.

Mon, 03/31/2014 - 03:50

Midnight-Dj

And now for my new song's lyric, you must hear it.

Looking down into the clockwork,
Large cogs turned by,
Every monsters advancing together,
So willingly to sacrifice crowns,
Players accepted their fate of grinding,
Give up freewill, conform,
Individual pieces hurled together,
Becomes a full storm.

Looking down into the Great colony,
Grand Arsenal rise,
Even the developers with the greatest intentions,
Started to believe in their own lies,
They can always talk about the future,
But at the end, contents must be made,
The only way out of the clockworks,
Is to strike out and pave your own way!

We all play,
Our own knights,
Will you fuel the desire to grind?
Always struggle with the truth,
With all the games you might have played.
No matter how awesome this game is,
You will eventually leave,
Even when the Vana has fallen,
The grinding still raged with in!!!

Edit: @Arc, whatever, I think this song is better. The perfect representation of my struggle with whether or not to play more SK.

Mon, 03/31/2014 - 02:48

Arcknightdelta

@ Midnight-Dj

I've already seen this one. I still think your first one is the best.

This one.... meh.

Mon, 03/31/2014 - 03:27

Petater

I find it funny when they don't even bother to pm.
They just... do random trade.
Like... I have to actually ask them and wait 5 minutes for an answer after they do a trade request.

Best part is when they say they're new, but inspecting their achievements shows 60/60.
They didn't get the memo that achievements on other characters on the same account apply to the whole account.

Mon, 03/31/2014 - 03:39

Particled

@Petater

Maybe they were just like me; trying to inspect a sweet-looking knight but only to have their hand slip.

*trades*

Goddammit.

Mon, 03/31/2014 - 03:40

Petater

Except they say "PLZ CR" usually *after* they do a random trade request.

Mon, 03/31/2014 - 03:52

Particled

Hey, the trade window's open,

Hey, the trade window's open, might as well make it worth my time.

But, yeah, in all honesty I think it's about time we use that ignore function OOO has kindly implemented.

Mon, 03/31/2014 - 05:47

Skyguarder

Oh no! This thread is being invaded by [insert monster family here]!

Mon, 03/31/2014 - 05:51

Cinoa

Heh

I remember I was on an alt I had just made, I got in haven and some really high level tried to give me a bunch of stuff. I didn't accept, because I was just on an alt. I still appreciated the thought though!

Mon, 03/31/2014 - 10:25

Vesperaldus

Every time someone asks me

Every time someone asks me for x amount of crowns, I always say I'll give it to them if they first pay me x+y amount of crowns.

Also, ever considered writing fan fic?

Mon, 03/31/2014 - 15:29

#10

Arcknightdelta

@ Sleepy-Hollows

No. I'll most likely flop at it.

Edit: If I knew how to get Spiral Spy and then learn how to use it, I would seriously think about doing a Spiral Knights animation.

Mon, 03/31/2014 - 16:02

#11

Poomph

My favorite thing about haven is when you randomly meet 3 or 4 vanguards, you all sit down in an empty haven that was once populated, and you reminisce in the old days, even though you don't know each other. And then, when it's all said and done, and the sun sets over the horizon (Night and day haven pl0x), you all get up, and go back to your vanguard stuff, be it LD, auctioning, or just idling.

And when it's all over, and it's back to our normal SK duties, the knights start to appear in Haven once more, and you can see the once desolate Haven bustling once again.

Mon, 03/31/2014 - 16:33

#12

Bamzalot

This is what I do.

Usually I wait for them to give me a bunch of materials. I go ahead and check to see how much each material would cost to vendor, then give them that amount of money.

(Initiate Troll Face)

Mon, 03/31/2014 - 19:53

#13

Gasguzzler

I always wondered why some Knights waste time begging.

Don't they know every second they spend asking for money is a second wasted not brutalizing money out of Wolvers? :I

Mon, 03/31/2014 - 20:40

#14

Fehzor

@Bamzalot

I give them less and ask for more. Then I resell what I got from them, so that their begging has actually lost them crowns to me. Its especially good because I don't need their money at all, and they need it so so so badly, how they go around and ask.

Mon, 03/31/2014 - 20:46

#15

Cinoa

You know what

I could start a business here. Listen up people! Did you get a seedy, corny, crummy UV ticket from the box you bought? Well send them to me at no cost! No cost at all, that's right. I'll take em' off your hands for absol-utely FREE!
IGN: Cinoa
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
(Jking lol. But if you want, you can send them to me :D).

Tue, 04/01/2014 - 04:07

#16

Rhagnarock

my 2 cents

It's like people that come to you for trade, I accept because I have nothing to do and he/she show an item and doesn't say anything... At first I asked "?" then I just came to realize that I could do the same...

So everytime someone show me an item after starting the trade I just flood the page with random accessories/cosmetic of value... and then they wanna something from me cause they think I wanna trade with them... ahhh soo funny

Also before when I ran an alt 2* so I would take her (usually this knight, rhagnarock) and just annoy the hell out of the beggar by begging him. Or if I don't have it I would just beg for 2m cr, "only 2m cr! please!!!! it's not much, and I need it!"

Search

The Professional Beggar