Before you tell me what to do, please see what I've done... I've done pretty much everything imaginable, but here's what happens.
NOTE: This has happened starting yesterday; Monday, September 2nd.
I can Launch Spiral Knights through Steam or the Website client fine. Get to Log In screen... If I can login (steam authenticates or password on the Site's login), I get to Character Select. Here, I see my Knight (Seoul-Reaper), but if I select him, I get the message "going to Ready Room" or whatever it says. Here's where it gets tricky. Either I go to the ready room immediately (about 10% of the time), get stuck in the "going to ready room" character select screen and then finally go the ready room after 5-10 minutes (about 65%), or can't go to ready room and just D/C (25%). The few times I've been lucky enough to do anything and make it to the ready room, I may be able to talk to my guildmates, feed my pets, or maybe go to Haven if I'm lucky. Most times I get stuck at a black screen waiting for the loading screen to load up I guess. Today I've had more progress with actually being able to play, but I get ungodly lag like as if all the fires of Almire try to lag me to death (thus making me use a Spark of Life to rev when I actually stop lagging).
What have I done to fix it you ask? Here's the following:
> Uninstall Spiral Knights through Steam Client (Delete local content) and reinstall
> Uninstall Spiral Knights through Steam AND delete Spiral Knights folder in the Steam Folder in the C: Programs folder and then Reinstall
> Update Java, Restart Computer, Reinstall Spiral Knights
> Bribed the Konjuring Kat with some kat nip in hopes it can release this curse (haha)
But I've done pretty much everything imaginable in my limited experience and knowledge... I've submitted a bug report notice in game, sent an e-mail through the Spiral Knights support page, and have not gotten anything. If you have any other recommendations that aren't the above posted solutions, I'm all ears... otherwise I'm screwed out of playing Spiral Knights until the problem is resolved.
So apparently Spiral Knights was just having a fit w/ me and we made up... but still, kinda random when I can play everything else just fine, but only Spiral Knights is what messes up?