Abnormal CaKe SiMuLaToR

Smithia, before running away, let loose all of the bomb in the bag.

Poison Bomb - Opponent's next attack is reduced by 50%

Fire Bomb - 1% chance of bursting into fire (fail) & 1 damage

Freeze Bomb - 1% chance of freezing everyone (fail)

Smithia has run away!!!

However, he says that he will be back on the tenth day.

I grab the Freeze Bomb off the ground since it didn't explode and attempt to use it to learn an actually useful magic spell.

I put the Fire Bomb in my inventory for later.

I lightly poke a wall. Due to it counting as an attack, it's reduced by 50% before the poison effect goes away.

I place the third candle (27/52)

Inventory
Money - $73.05
Snazzy Cake Mix x2
Plain Slice x9
Choco Slice x2
Chocolate x6
Standard Orange x8
Food Coloring
Poison Cap x3
Useless Ice Bomb
Dumb Fire Bomb
Nightstick (Matik)
Taser (Dee)
Knuckleduster
Jet Collar (Mischief)

Level up skrubs
Osht - Allies take 75% less damage from Beat Punch, Roundhouse, and Infect.
Rekt - Enemies take 50% more damage from Beat Punch, Roundhouse, and Infect.

Shop
Snazzy Cake Mix - ($3.50)
Overpriced Chocolate x3 - ($7.20)
Overpriced Vanilla x3 - ($10.00)
Strawberry Flavoring x3 - ($12.50)
UnJuiced Orange - ($2.00)
UnJuiced Strawberry - ($2.00)
Orange Juice - ($1.25)
Voronese Cutlass - ($20.00)
Some sort of fancy sword. Only Ed, Dee, snd Teddy can use this.
Silver Claw - ($16.00)
Some sort of scratching weapon. Only Rodent-Queen and Lassie can use this.

I point out that I don't actually have the knuckleduster equipped because I never equipped it.

I buy the Voronese Cutlass and equip that.

I attempt to use the Freeze Bomb to learn magic, again.

I grab the fifth candle (28/52)

@Blazecat-Percival
Freeze Bomb and Fire Bomb are also in the inventory, too.

I select the Rekt perk. Pickles will inflict more damage.

I grab the sixth candle (29/52)

I point out that Matik can't hold two candles at once, causing him to drop the sixth candle (28/52)

I also point out that I'll probably be using Beat Punch less often in the future.

I point out that we got two hands, thus keeping my candle.

Dee strokes his jawline in thought.
“Ya know, I don't actually recall how I got to this present day,” he comments. “For you two to know how, comes as a surprise.”

Dee looks down momentarily to recollect his thoughts, before returning with a question he's been wanting to ask.
“Say, have either one of you seen a coworker of mines, a person named Ed, these past years?”

Dee was hoping that the sisters had been keeping an eye out for Ed due to Sarah's crush on him; if the rumors circulating the workplace are to be believed.
Dee only knew Ed by hearsay, as the guy mysteriously disappeared shortly after Dee was hired. Nevertheless, Dee was curious about him. Why would a top rank employee that has been with the shop since the beginning suddenly leave? Although, Ed's apparent ability to bend the will of those beneath him does make Dee feel uncertain about whether or not he should be thankful for his timely disappearance, considering the freedom he has been enjoying to this day.

Regardless of their answer, Dee purchases a bag of orange seeds from the sisters.

“I was meaning to do this some time ago,” Dee remarks while receiving the seeds.
“I was trying to research how to use orange juice in cake in an attempt subvert the Orange Juice Selling Law,” Dee begins his silly tale. “But I ended up only learning how to make pastries with unjuiced fruit! Oh, what a flabbergastation that was...”
“And I had been trying to obtain a supply of whole fruits ever since,” Dee punctuates. “As you two were orange juice sellers, I was going ask just where you gals get your oranges from.”
“But considering how our first encounter went,” Dee says, having turned towards Katie; vividly remembering the Glock in his face. “I'd been sort of scared of you.”
“So I had a coworker ask you gals for me,” Dee continues. “Learning that you two have an infinite orange tree, I was going to send another to ask for seeds or perhaps a supply deal.”
“But then we slipped through time...” Dee solemnly says.
Dee pauses for moment.

“Eh, I managed to get some oranges anyways,” Dee exclaims, suddenly brightening the tone. “In a rather ridiculous way as well.”
“Right before our time warp, we had a run-in with this evil police officer, who tried to extort us out of all our baked good,” Dee explains. “Like, he knew dark magic so we ended up having to duel this guy.”
“I was actually asleep for most of the fight,” Dee embarrassingly admits. “Taking care of that cat of yours really robbed me of the energy needed for that day.”
“That awful howling the officer's spells make was enough to startle me awake,” Dee continues.
“Good thing my boss was quick enough to explain to me the situation, because waking up to a cop on fire is not how I usually start my days.”
“I was going to throw some flour at him as a makeshift fireball, but then he stopped burning so I decided to just whack him across the head with the flour sack. It ended up killing him. Go figure.”
“His body just fades away as he dies, kind of like in Dark Souls... but everything he had on him was left behind. And among his stuff, were eight whole oranges. How strange is that!”

“With them, I finally got to make those orange pastries today,” Dee concludes.
“Though, I still need a fruit source, at least until these can grow,” Dee says, shaking the bag of seeds. “How about we strike a deal?”

Regardless of their answer, Dee bids the sisters farewell and returns to the cake shop.
~~~~~
Dee buys the unjuiced strawberry and makes strawberry shortcake out of it. Dee also asks what a 'Voron' is.

(I sort of got carried away typing this. So basically, I have a theory that the Evil Cop was Katie and Sarah's father, because the Cop dropped oranges and Katie threatened Dee with her father's gun specifically; which would make sense as the why the Cop didn't have a gun on him.
All this monologue was Dee attempting to make amends and then falling short because he pretty much admitted that he killed their father to their faces.)

The Cutlass zaps Pickles, and he drops it.
Pickles didn't learn anything.

Theres a strange country called Vorona in a far away land, though it's unfindable...

Katie doesn't seem to care that you killed the Cop. Probably not her dad.
Oh, and Katie and Sarah aren't sisters, they just live in the same house for some unknown reason.

Top 10 Strongest Beings in the world
1. Unknown
2. Shade
3. Unknown
4. Unknown
5. Unknown
6. Unknown
7. Pickles
8. Matik
9. Unknown
10. Mischief

Due to the fact that there is no logical reason for the cutlass to shock me, it stays equipped.

Why are we on that list of the strongest beings in existance? I kinda doubt we're that strong... (EDIT: Though I guess I could see us being strong due to dark magik.)

I attempt to improve the freeze bomb in order to make it actually useful.

I place the fifth candle (30/52)

Dee isn't on the list. Remember that. Also, that evil cop revoked our Dark Magik, so...

So we need to find the strongest thing in existence.

I put one candle (31/52)
Then another one (32?/52) ((I placed a question mark because I don't know if I can put only one or two candles at once))

After that I go to farmer's marker where Katie and Sarah are and talk with them.

I think it might be due to the fact that we're the only two confirmed to know dark magik (I imagine we got our dark magik back when we killed the cop).

Who's Shade?

*ahem*
You find the task of placing two candles at once too complex to do, somehow. It fails.

Dee watches a martial arts tape to try and improve himself.

Dee also helps Pickles and Matik with the ritual, since they seem to be taking a while.

Dee picks up the ???th candle (stupid Matik's complex actions confundled the count) (32/52)

An eldritch force zaps Pickles and the list. The list starts to change...

1. Unknown
2. Shade
3. Unknown
4. Unknown
5. Unknown
31. Mischief
49. Pickles
52. Matik
56. Dee
36380347241835. Smithia

Inventory
Money - $50.05
Snazzy Cake Mix x2
Plain Slice x9
Choco Slice x2
Chocolate x6
Standard Orange x8
Food Coloring
Poison Cap x3
Orange Seeds
Blatantly Useless Ice Bomb
Dumb Fire Bomb
Nightstick (Matik)
Taser (Dee)
Knuckleduster
Voronese Cutlass
Jet Collar (Mischief)

You learned Rekt.

Day Start
Mischief's ears twitch, then he jumps off the counter and into the storage room.

Estcher comes into the shop. He asks you if you've seen his cat. Black coat, jet blue collar with a golden tag.

I ask why.

Still don't think we're THAT strong, but ok.

I put on rubber gloves and equip the Voronese Cutlass.

I attempt to improve the ice bomb in order to make it actually useful.

Having cast it before and thus knowing the spell, I attempt to learn a much weaker non-overpowered version of Black Dragonfire, known as Very Dark Grey Regularember. Bosses can't temporarily remove Very Dark Grey Regularember, unlike Black Dragonfire.

I point out that it's the seventh candle that Dee has, before grabbing the eighth candle (33/52)

Beep.
31. Mischief
149. Pickles
152. Matik
156. Dee

Dee asks Estcher what his cat's name is.

Dee places the seventh candle (34/52)

Why are we falling in the power ranks?

Is it that because that stupid cop got rid of our Dark Magik?

I place the sixth candle (35/52)

I whisper to Pickles if we should tell Estcher about Mischief.

It was... An error in your scoreboard. You got the free scoreboard from some bum which took some time to correct.

Estcher says that he calls his cat 'Misty'.

Pickles is learning VDGRember... (1/12)

I ask if their cat is known to randomly appear from summoning rituals meant to summon the most powerful being in the universe.

I continue to learn Very Dark Grey Regularember. ((Should I keep track of this or should you?))

I place the eighth candle (36/52)

add me too dat scorebard, numbah 6 plz

Crazee-Pi you track this crap; I'm so tired of you reminding me of keeping track of stuff so you do it!

The Shaded figure stands idly outside, across the street.

Cupcake-God You may be a god but you are Number 28!

I annoy Blazecat further by asking them what my current stats are, so I can track them myself.

I continue to learn Very Dark Grey Regularember. (3(?)/12)

I grab the ninth candle (39/52)

Here are your stats you ungrateful twit!

Pickles
VIT - 125
MAG - 135
STR - 155
AGL - 125
Charley
LIV - 22
EXI - 16
KIL - 30
DOD - 9
Matik
VIT - 160
MAG - 125
STR - 130
AGL - 125
Dee
VIT - 145
MAG - 135
STR - 125
AGL - 135
Mischief
VIT - 75
MAG - 160
STR - 0
AGL - 100

“Misty, huh...”
Dee rubs his chin. The way Estcher worded his response makes Dee suspicious; “Misty” may as well be a nickname for Mischief. But since Pickles seems intent on keeping the cat, Dee decides to spin a lie.

“I encountered a cat of your description in the town square yesterday. It hopped on my lap while I was sitting down to rest.”
“The tag on its collar reads “Mischief”, though. Not sure if it was your cat, if “Misty” just so happens to be a nickname.”
“It sat there on my lap for a good few minutes before scurrying off to chase a pigeon. I lost sight of it in the crowd as there were so many people in the square at the time. Naturally, I assumed it must have belonged to one of them.”
“If that cat was yours, sorry but I couldn't of known.”

“However, it's kind of strange to come to a cake shop just to ask for missing pet. So, what are you buying?”

(May I also ask for an abilities list? Dee was absent for the beginning of the Evil Cop battle, so I never got to know what Dee could do.)

Estcher looks at you like you did something wrong, then just leaves the establishment.

Alicia comes in and wants to buy chocolate. Literally chocolate.

Skillset here. Battle system has been revamped to use AP. You get 1 AP per 5 Agility.
Pickles
(9 AP) Attack - Not a punch, sadly.
(12 AP) Beat Punch - Special attack that beats up an enemy.
(10 AP) M.Shield - Halves Magic Damage against an ally by 50%.
(X AP) Defend - Reduces incoming damage by 50%.
Matik
(9 AP) Attack - Attack with the currently equipped weapon.
(10 AP) Intimidate - Inflicts Intimidate. Just does.
(X AP) Brace - Reduces incoming damage by 80%.
Dee
(9 AP) Attack - Attack with the currently equipped weapon.
(11 AP) Recover - Heal yourself based on 75% of your Magic.
(X AP) Brace - Reduces incoming damage by 80%.
Mischief
Currently Known by you:
(15 AP) Lacerate - Non elemental magic that inflicts Bleed on a target.
(5 AP) Cloak - Blend into the shadows.

I need more skills.

I try to learn a random skill.
Before I go training I go to the farmer's market where Katie and Sarah reside and ask them if they know me. And talk a bit with them.

So what are my stats & attacks?
How about this (change however you want)

Zeke: Level 2 Kid
HP:10
AG: 165
STR: 8

(9 AP) Attack: Basic attack with selected weapon.
(12 AP) Annoy: Draws enemy's attention to me.
(15 AP) Hype Up: Increases AG by 10% for 3 turns, stackable.
(X AP) Defend: Blocks 50% of incoming damage.

Tell Alicia that this is a cake store, not a chocolate store. (AKA don't sell)

I give Pickles the next candle (40/52).

I drop the next candle due to already having the ninth candle. (39/52)

I suggest to Matik that he try to learn the much weaker form of Scythe, known as Safety Scissors.

I look to see if we have any chocolate.

I ask Blazecat if this is right.

I place the ninth candle (40/52)

Stats

About two customers walk into your shop and wait.
Yes you have chocolate.

Charley has 3 AP.
Shinestrike uses 3 AP and the Pitchfork uses 2. Annnnnnddd he should also have Cloak for 1 AP.

Defending always uses 10% of your max AP rounded down. Brace uses that same amount +1.

Zeke, you have a Voronese Cutlass because buying one affects the whole team.

Sarah said that a shaded figure asked them if they had seen his cat, named 'Misty'.

I recheck Mischief's collar.

Sell the chocolate.

I update my stats. How exactly does AP work for imps?

I grab the tenth candle.

Stats

I learn Safety Scissors.

Then I go to the farmer's market (for real) and talk with Katie and Sarah.

Alright Matik, first off you can't learn Safety Scissors instantly. You gotta take 11 actions to learn it.
When you go talk to Katie and Sarah, Sarah says the thing that she would've said if you visited earlier.

And Pickles imps just have lower numbers and it's my say-so.
One more thing I do not care about the Existability stat because I'm not gonna desummon your imp every 16 turns so just act like it's a defense stat or whatever.

Two Customers
Fred wants to buy one of those colorful cake slices for $10.00.
Mack wants to buy a cookie even though it's not on your menu.

Dee sells a unit of chocolate to Alicia for $4.00.
Dee sells the green cake slice Zeke made to Fred for his offer of $10.00; feeling baffled that something as simple as dyed food could fetch such a price.
Dee apologizes to Mack and says the shop doesn't produce cookies at the moment, then advertises what the shop does have.

Dee grabs the 11th candle. (42/52)

I tell Sarah, "There was a cat in our shop, jet black collar, probably he was called Misty, but we read his collar as Mischief. Probably Pickles accidentally teleported him while he was drawing his summoning ritual. By the way, do you know Estcher? He was also asking for Misty."

After I receive a response from Sarah (or Katie) I run to the shop and yell at Pickles that he might have teleported Misty to our shop.

I pick the 12th candle (43/52)

While I was picking the candle, I was feeling the unknown power channeling through the circuits. Either it must be the hype or some mysterious force is overtaking me. I feel a bit worried about this.

You didn't think there was something wrong before when Mischief mentally lacerated Smithia?

Again, I recheck Mischief's collar.

I place the tenth candle (43/52)

Stats

Here goes the 11th candle (44/52)

Sold the Green Slice. Your balance is now $64.05.

Mischief's collar is fine. Mischief comes out of the storage room after the shaded figure across the street disappears from view, looking a little fearful.

Also, how are you guys counting those? Make up your mind!

Matik is learning Safety Scissors (3/11).

Smith wants to buy a Plain Slice.
Their Intellect - 51/100
Your Charisma - 78/110

Me and Charley attempt to look for the shaded figure to ask about mischief

Matik is unable to place the eleventh candle due to not having the eleventh candle (43/52)

I grab the thirteenth candle. (44/52)

Stats

Dee sells Smith a Plain Slice for $3.25.

Afterwards, Dee leaves out a bowl of milk for Mischief.

Then, Dee studies swordsmanship online and practices with the Voronese Cutlass.

Dee also places the 11th Candle. (45/52)

I realize that I miscounted (46/52)

I pick 13th candle (47/52)

I also learn Safety Scissors while doing this (4/11)

I knew rainbow cake sells well!

I also grab the 14th candle (48/52).

Soren comes in and wants to order a Birthday Cake, you've seen plenty of those before.
Cake Mix x1
Food Coloring (You have ∞)
Chocolate x2
Time: 12hrs (Even at night)

Now you need to set up a price.

Mischief drinks a tiny bit of the milk, then goes to sleep on your counter.

Dee can learn one of these in 11 turns...
(14 AP) Leg Rend - Sword attack that inflicts Slow.
(14 AP) Arterial Slice - Sword attack that inflicts Bleed.
(14 AP) Impair - Sword attack that inflicts Poison.

EDIT: For those deciding on the price, a chocolate slice costs $7.00, so put it somewhere around twice that, but not exactly twice that because that would be lame.

Matik is unable to grab the 13th candle due to the fact that I have it (???/52)

I realize that I miscounted again (45/52 I think)

I place the thirteenth candle (46/52)

Stats

Dee tells Soren that the cake will cost $12.50 and that it will be ready for pickup tomorrow.

Dee picks up the 15th candle (47/52)

Dee begins to learn Leg Rend (1/11)

It should be 48 or 49, seeing I got the 14th candle.

I place that candle (50/52) and go learn Safety Scissors (5/11)

The number corrects itsslf back to 47 (47/52)

I tell Matik to stop attempting to do stuff with candles he can't access at the moment and place the twelfth candle already.