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One is all it takes: a Spiral Knights fanfic

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Thu, 09/29/2011 - 02:46
Psychodestroyer's picture
Psychodestroyer

My Entry for Zettalux's contest.

One is all it takes-A Spiral Knights fanfic.

Haven was under attack.

Screams pierced the air as weak or wounded knights attempted to escape the onslaught, but it was no use. With all the more powerful Knights out exploring the clockworks, it left the weaker ones vulnerable in Haven.

Easy pickings for the Bandits. Rouge warriors who raid and loot weaker knights, just to take what isn’t theirs.

One Knights stumbles as he ran through the gate to Bazaar, Green eyes flicking around constantly, his Starting armour already damaged from a less-than-accurate cut from a bandit. He considered himself lucky, but he knew it wouldn’t last. Bazaar was just as overrun as the Town Square. He quickly made up his mind to get to the Arcade. If he was lucky, some knights would be coming back from their expeditions.

He turned to the direction of the Arcade, only to find 3 Bandits blocking his path.

“Going somewhere?” The one in the middle sniggered.

All were wearing variants of the Magic hood and cloak. The middle one was holding a Gran Faust. The one on the left had a Cryotech Alchemer MK II. And the one on the right just casually tossed a Blast bomb (or was it a higher up version? They all looked the same to him) in his hand.

They stood between him and his only chance. Ha had to get past them.

Drawing his Proto Sword, he faced them off. The middle one, he supposed he was the leader, laughed.

“Do you really think you can take us on?” He mocked, indicating the beat up weapon in the Knight’s hand.

“I really don’t know what to think.” The knight murmured. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw the one with the bomb toss his load towards him. Reacting quickly, he slashed it backhand, cutting it in two.

“I see you’ve kept up maintenance of your blade.” The gunner sneered. “But it will prove useless against ranged weapons.” He finished as he opened fire.

The knight ducked and rolled to avoid the first shots, before putting up his shield to deflect the next shots. Bullets bounced off his shield, and flew all over the place. He was safe for now, but how long would it last?

Then, by pure luck, a bullet from the Bandits own gun ricocheted into him, freezing him on the spot. The Bandit cursed, as his teammates looked at him in surprise.

Seizing the opportunity, the Knight quickly pulled out his Proto Gun and fired it at the two others. The one with the Gran Faust shielded, but the bomber wasn’t quick enough and crumpled to the floor as his feet were blown off their hinges.

The knight had no time to celebrate as the leader now bore down on him, Gran Faust humming with dark power. The Knight quickly brought up his Proto Sword to parry, but was struck with terror as the dark blade simply shattered through it.

Ducking the next swing, the Knight quickly rolled past the Bandit and ran toward the gunner, who was still frozen. The gunner saw his approach, and opened fire. But he was still immobile, so evading the shots was easy for the knight, who quickly ducked behind him.

The other Bandit snarled and ran over to him, cutting on either side of his comrade to try and get to him. “Why. Can’t. You. Stay. Still!” He yelled out as the knight dodged his every swing.

The knight smiled to himself, secretly taking joy from the Bandit’s obvious distress. It was not to last, as the Bandit got fed up and simply cut straight through his ally to get to him.

The Knight fell back, shocked by the Bandit’s coldness towards his own ally. He scrambled to his feet and ran for the Arcade as fast as he could.

He burst in, and was horrified by the sight that lay before him. Other knights had tried to make their stand in this building, but were no match for the Bandit’s power. Numerous armour bits were strewn about the place. Groaning and moaning could be heard throughout the Arcade, it was just unbearable.

The Knight gasped as he recognised a friend of his. He ran over and knelt by the fallen knight.

“Ohmygod. Psycho? Are you alright?” The knight asked urgently.

Psycho was the Knight’s only friend. He had met him after he had spoken to Feron, and the two immediately became good friends, despite the differences in their gear. The two always joked around, never letting the atmosphere dull.

Psycho opened his eyes. “Am I alright? Do I LOOK alright?” He coughed.

Psycho’s Wolver Coat was completely shredded, and his Wolver cap was missing the right ear. His arm was cut almost all the way through at the shoulder, and he was sporting a large burn mark on his upper torso.

“Admittedly not.” The Knight grinned. Psycho was ALWAYS in a mood for humour.

Psycho grimaced. “Yeah, unalright enough to think I won’t make this. I don’t think I have much time left…” He coughed again.

Suddenly, Psycho’s eyes widened. “Look out!” He yelled.

The Knight spun around, just in time to see the Bandit he had forgotten about making a slash at him. There was no escape…

“Ngh!” Psycho grunted as he hauled himself between his friend and the attack. The slash sheared through his arms that he had raised to block, and cut part-way through his torso.

“PSYCHO!” The Knight screamed as said knight collapsed to the floor.

“Sorry buddy…looks like I just ran out of time…” Psycho grinned weakly before sliding back, resting permanently in the comforts of eternal sleep.

“…Hmph. Pathetic.” The Bandit huffed as he watched Psycho fall. “Using his own life to shield a more useless knight.”

“No…” The knight shook with shock as he saw his friend die before his eyes. “No…Nononono…”

“Do you fear me?” The Bandit mocked as he raised his Gran Faust in preparation for a final blow.

The Knight said nothing as his eyes looked emptily towards the floor. Eyes of one who has seen too much, and wishes to see no more.

A metal on metal clang rang out through the hollow arcade, breaking the all but tranquil silence.

* * *

Mark stood uneasily in his Solid Cobalt armour. Since the Bandit attack a week ago, he had been put on guard duty for Haven’s gates. Haven had spent a whole day burying the dead, recycling what weapons and materials they could, for they knew their comrades wouldn’t want their things to be wasted.

A week, and they still hadn’t finished repairing Haven. But he knew, as some others did, that they would be back. The moment they began to feel secure, they would strike again.

The Knights were still needed to go down into Cradle to explore its depths, so they still were out of Haven. But the Spiral Order decided to equip a knight with better gear, so he could assist in guarding Haven. Unfortunately that Knight was Mark, and he was less than happy about his important task.

Mark had been plucked randomly off the streets along with some others and been given a Solid Cobalt set and a Leviathan, as well as a Great defender and a Blaster. But no-one was envious of his selection. They all dreaded the day the Bandits would return, and no-one wished to be the first to see when it happened.

So far, the general public had more-or-less relaxed a bit. But there were a few Guards that were still edgy, despite being assured that they wouldn’t be back, and that they were stressing for nothing.

“Hey Mark.” A knight called out, waking him from his thoughts.

“Oh, hey Max.” He replied a little shakily. Max was one superior officer that Mark thought took his duty too lightly, seeing as he would be no-where near the battle. In fact, it was Max who issued him this gear and gave him this task.

“You sound edgy mate.” Max swaggered exaggeratedly over. “Chill out. If they were going to attack, they’d do it while we were recovering. While we were still weak.”

“I guess…” Mark lowered his head.

“Besides. There are other guards doing the same job. All with gear as good as yours. We’ll be fine.” Max reassured him.

Mark brightened up a bit. “I suppose you’re right.” But he couldn’t seem to shake the nagging feeling he was making a big mistake.

Max slapped him on the back. “That’s my man. Now sit tight and stop worrying. The Bandits will be no match for us now that we’re ready.” He said as he walked off.

Mark smiled and looked out toward the horizon. He would take on any Bandit that would dare try and attack Haven. Even with that stupid doubt that wouldn’t go away.

It was then that something flickered from the corner of his eye. He squinted at it.

It was a dust cloud, but he noticed it didn’t move like a regular sandstorm. It looked like something was stirring it up…something like…rapid footsteps.

It seemed to him that the Bandits were back. His grin widened. Now he would show them what it meant to deal with a Spiral Knight.

At about 100 meters, they opened fire with guns. Most of their shots fell short or missed, but some impacted on Mark’s raised shield.

“Bring it!” Mark yelled as he fired back. His bullets similarly bounced on their shields, which they had raised in anticipation.

One Bandit sprinted ahead of the rest, and launched an assault with his Cutter. Mark blocked the attack and parried with his Leviathan, but that was all he could seem to do. The Cutter was too fast. His Leviathan could only just block it in time.

Mark quickly ducked and kicked the Bandit’s feet out from under him. As the Bandit fell to the floor, he was hit by a stray shot from the volley of shots they were firing his way again.

“One down.” Mark grinned from behind his shield. “Only…” His smile faded as the full number of them came into view. “About 40 or so more to go…”

Knowing he was way out of his league, he sounded the Alarm. Sirens blared all over the whole of Haven, and just about all the residents ran straight for the Arcade.

Mark looked behind him just in time to see the other guards running straight for the Arcade as well. They were pushed back out to defend the Entrance, but none of them so much as considered coming to help him.

Mark’s heart sank. They were doomed. They weren’t even prepared mentally, it didn’t matter what gear they had. The Bandits would win once more. And Mark knew he wouldn’t be there to see it.

He was interrupted by a kick in the back. While he contemplated his inevitable defeat, the Bandits had reached the entrance and attacked him while he wasn’t looking.

The Bandit who had kicked him down sneered at him. Then stepped back as the crowd of Bandits parted, revealing the Leader. The Bandit with the Gran Faust.

Mark raised himself to his feet and half-heartedly held out his sword before him, all confidence having dissipated.

The Leader easily knocked it from his hand, and then laughed at his weak attempt at resistance.

“Do not fool yourself knight. Haven will fall once more before us. And your minerals and Energy will once again be ours!” He proclaimed.

He held his sword before Mark’s face, whose eyes seemed faded, as all his hope was lost.

“Do you fear me?” The Bandit snarled, his face illuminated by the dark light of his blade.

“That is a question I will ask you in a moment.” A low, dangerous voice called from above them.

“What?” The leader said as he stepped back.

On the pillar of the gate, a cloaked figure stood. His attire was a dusty brown and resembled no known armour, but covered his entire body, save for a hood that concealed his features as well.

“Not ‘what’. ‘Who’.” The figure replied as his dropped from his perch, landing soundlessly on the ground.

“My name was lost in the fires of destruction. But you may call me Zenith.” He deadpanned as he drew out an Ascended Calibur from the darkness of his cloak. “Consider your stay in Haven a short one.”

The Bandits stared at him for a moment, then laughed. There were at least 40 of them. And this Knight presumed…

The thought was never finished as Zenith appeared suddenly in their midst, and released the Calibur in a wide, spinning arc that blew everyone away a good few metres.

Bandits scrambled to their feet and rushed to attack him. Zenith merely swayed left and right, their attacks slipping past him and into each other, his sword occasionally slashing at one or two Bandits who got too close.

Mark stared, dumbstruck at the one who called himself Zenith, who was fighting the horde of Bandits on his own.

In the space of 60 seconds, the crowd of Bandits was cut to half, the ones not backing away being on the floor, groaning in agony or silent altogether.

“What do we do Krall?” One of the Bandits beside the leader whispered.

‘Krall’ snorted. “Stay back and leave this to me.”

He walked past the crowd, who simultaneously retreated.

“It’s just you and me now, warrior.” Krall levelled his sword at Zenith.

“Do not presume we are equal.” Zenith replied. “You, who torment those who have committed no sin towards you or your kin, and draw pleasure from the misery of others.” Zenith switched his sword to a single handed backhand grip. “You will fall today.”

Enraged at Zenith ease, Krall raced towards Zenith, who blocked the attack easily with the new grip stance. Drawing his hand back slightly, Zenith flipped the Calibur in his grip while maintaining contact with his opponent’s blade, and flicked his wrist, sending the Gran Faust spinning from his hand.

Falling back slightly, Krall snarled and drew a Shadow driver out. He fired continuously at Zenith, who was running and dodging each and every shot, weaving in and out, left and right, forward and back in an endless dance of steps that kept him away from each shot.

“WHY DON’T YOU FALL!?” Krall screamed as his firing became more erratic as his stress increased.

Zenith moved in closer towards Krall as he evaded, eventually getting close enough to stick the tip of his Calibur into the barrel of the gun.

The explosion of the gun was small, but large enough to momentarily blind Krall. He stumbled back, lightly dazed by the sudden light. When his sight returned, Zenith had his Ascended Calibur at his throat.

“Do you fear me?” Zenith mocked coldly at the ‘great’ bandit that cowered before him.

Krall shook with terror. He was doomed. This warrior would slay him. Nothing could seem to touch him. Was he a god?

He turned his back to Krall. “Fear me if you will. But you will not die by my hand today. I have warned you that you would fall, and fallen you have. From a once great bandit, you have fallen beneath notice.” Zenith walked away, but was stopped by a voice.

“Who…who ARE you?” Krall looked at him.

Zenith sighed. “My name was all but lost in the fire of Haven’s destruction. But you will know me…” Zenith lowered his hood. “As the one Knight that nearly defeated you in the Arcade.”

Krall gasped. “You! But…how?!” He exclaimed as he recognised the armour of the ex-fallen warrior.

“It was simple. You thought I was defeated, but one can do so much in the right conditions.”

[Flashback]

“Do you fear me?” Krall mocked as he raised his blade in preparation for a final blow.

A metal on metal clang rang out through the hollow arcade, breaking the all but tranquil silence.

Krall looked surprised as he stared into the eyes of the fallen knight, whose eyes blazed with fury.

The Knight had found his friends Ascended Calibur and brought it up in to block, one which was fast and solid enough to take Krall by surprise.

“I. Fear. NOTHING!” He roared as he forced the Calibur into a wide arc slash, a green energy aura flaring around him.

Krall stumbled back before the sudden force. The Knight went on the offensive, cutting forehand and backhand slashes at twice the normal speed. He could barely keep up.

The Knight hacked away at Krall’s defences. It was apparent to him now that they were actually exchanging blows that the Bandit had no real skill. The only thing that had set them apart was the quality of their gear. Now, fuelled by rage and acting on instinct, and with a weapon of decent grade, he had the advantage.

“You destroyed our homes! You killed my comrades! My only friend, right before my eyes!” He yelled as he continued to assault the retreating bandit.

“You ask me if I fear you? Forget it! I will destroy you!” The knight roared as he swung a savage forehand that just missed.

Krall was panicking. He had never fought an opponent that tried so hard to stand against him, usually because they cowered in fear of him. This is bad… He thought to himself.

“Let’s finish this then!” Krall roared in an attempt to seem in control. He raised his sword for a heavy blow.

“GRAAAH!” The Knight yelled, charging forward, backhand strike ready to meet the attack.

The resulting impact of the blades was enormous. The Knight was thrown back by the sheer force, while the Bandit simply fell backwards, due to his standing position. Both landed heavily.

“Ergh…” The knight groaned as he tried to stand. A red indicator on his HUD caught his attention. Oh no. Oh nononono… He panicked.

His energy counter read ‘0’.

In other words, he was out of power.

Krall rose uneasily to his feet. He checked himself over before looking at the Knight’s crumpled form. His eyes were down, and he wasn’t moving.

“Destroy me eh?” Krall grinned. “Fool. No single, weak knight like you could defeat me.” He sneered as he sauntered out.

The Knight strained to get up. But it was no use. Darkness was already creeping into his awareness. He could hear the footsteps of the Bandit fade slowly as he walked out, the echo bouncing back and forth through his mind.

This is it…he thought to himself. This is where it all ends. I guess I’ll never get to see the bright sun over Haven, or the day when the Knights finally power up the Skylark. I’m doomed to die on this junk heap, with no-one but the dead for company.

He looked at Psycho’s dead body from the corner of his eye. No offence buddy.

He closed his eyes. Bidding the darkness to draw him into eternal sleep.

……….

Sleep never came.

The Knight peeked one eye open. His HUD now showed ‘1’ Mist energy.

He couldn’t believe it. He was saved…by one unit of mist energy.

The knight rose to his feet. Feeling a weight in his hand, he held it up. He still had Psycho’s Ascended Calibur.

“I swear to you, friend.” He said as he ran his hand along the blade’s length. “I will not let any others die by a Bandit’s hand like you. If it takes my own life, I will defend Haven. While I stand, no more will die!” He roared, his voice echoing through the empty Arcade.

“Hello?” A voice called out. “Is someone there?”

“Only me.” The Knight answered, not seeming startled.

“Oh. Hey! We have another survivor!” The voice called out.

“Who are you? The Knight asked as he observed the newcomer.

“I’m Maria.” She replied. “I’m part of the rescue effort to recover injured Knights since the attack about 6 hours ago.”

I’ve been unconscious for 6 hours? “So, how many survived?” The Knight asked.

“Most of us actually.” Maria shrugged. “The others are mourning the death of their close friends as we speak. But there weren’t all that many casualties. Enough to have an impact, but not too many.”

“They need us to be able to recover, so they can raid us again.” The Knight gritted his teeth angrily.

“Maybe...” Maria thought for a moment. “Ah, leave the thinking to the guards. I need to help the injured.”

“Why are you so happy?” The Knight looked at her quizzically.

Maria shrugged again. “Well, when a Knight wakes up, they don’t need a sad face in front of them telling them that we just got screwed. I stay happy to keep the mood from hitting downright depression.”

She looked at the Knight properly for about the first time. “Oh hey!” She exclaimed. “You’re pretty beat up yourself!” She said as she tried to drag him over to the medical tent.

“Forget it. I can handle myself.” The Knight gently pried her hand from his arm.

“Are you sure? You look like a pack of Wolvers and a Spike Jelly had a round with you. It’s no…”

“I’m sure. You’ll better spend your time dealing with the more severely injured. I’ll live.” He replied as he began to walk away.

“If you’re sure.” Maria then called out again. “Oh wait! I forgot to ask you what your name was!”

The Knight paused. “My…name…?”

“Yeah! I can’t just let you go without being able to check up on you! Besides, I don’t have anything to call you by!” Maria ran up to him.

The Knight racked his memory. “I don’t know. I can’t remember my name.”

Maria gaped at him. “You…you don’t even know your own name?”

“The only other person who knew my name is dead.” The Knight replied bluntly. I must have lost that one memory when I powered down. He speculated.

“Oh.” Maria said, noting that she had unwittingly touched a sore subject. Then she brightened up. “Well. We’ll just have to get you another name, won’t we?”

The Knight smiled. Her enthusiasm was almost funny. He looked out to the horizon. He was here now, alive, and with a new outlook because of one event. One moment. One mist energy. One choice.

One. That is what changed his life.

“So…?” Maria looked at him expectantly.

The Knight walked on and pulled a brown hooded cloak from the discarded pile of garbage and draped it over his shoulders.

He pulled the hood over his head, feeling comfort within the shadows.

“Call me Zenith.” He said.

[End flashback]

“I had spent this whole time after my eventual recovery, training, and thinking over all that had happened. All for the moment when you would arrive in our city once more.” Zenith continued.

“And now, that time has come.” He turned and walked over to a fearful Krall.

As he raised his sword, Krall quivered more, certain that his end was here.

He pointed his sword to the gates. “Leave. Leave and never return. And warn all your brethren: If they so much as step foot inside Haven with mal-intent, they will meet their end at the hands of Zenith.” He sheathed his sword.

“Go.” Was all he said. Krall scrambled to his feet and ran. He just ran back into the wilderness outside the walls of Haven, back from where he had come. The other bandits had no other option than to follow.

Zenith sighed, his hood up once more. Mark stepped up to him, speechless.

“This city is under my protection. As long as I stand, no harm will come to you or the other Knights of the Spiral Order.” Zenith informed him.

Mark’s mouth opened and closed like goldfish. “But…but how? How…how was that even possible?”

“Without skill or courage, it doesn’t matter what gear you have. If you cannot wield a weapon, the weapon is useless. The new generation…” He said as he looked at the masses huddling in the Arcade.

“…they need to work on their courage.” He finished.

“But you’re just one Knight! How can you hope to defend the whole of Haven?” Mark looked at him in disbelief.

Zenith smirked audibly as he walked back into Haven’s gates

“One is all it takes.”

END

Read and review :D

Or just tell me how much it sucks. That works too.

Thu, 09/29/2011 - 05:06
#1
Duskfinder's picture
Duskfinder
:D

Nice story .

Thu, 09/29/2011 - 20:34
#2
Psychodestroyer's picture
Psychodestroyer
Thanks

Any constructive feedback? Anything you found could be improved? Is my style of writing ok?

Fri, 09/30/2011 - 13:29
#3
Psychodestroyer's picture
Psychodestroyer
rly?

Really? None whatsoever?

Fri, 09/30/2011 - 22:21
#4
Psychodestroyer's picture
Psychodestroyer
.....

........................................................................................................................................................................................................

Did anyone OTHER than Duskfinder even READ this thread? Or anything besides the title?

Fri, 09/30/2011 - 22:40
#5
Crazywave's picture
Crazywave
wow nice job.....

i truly like it! make more cool stories ill keep reading them.

Fri, 09/30/2011 - 22:48
#6
Psychodestroyer's picture
Psychodestroyer
Srsly?

I could have SWORN I was doing something wrong...minus a few grammar/spelling errors and missing words, and the missing italics of certain though chunks...

Cool.

Anyway, I'm working on a longer story, but ned more time to finish it. It'll probably be realeased sometime during Zetalux's next contest.

Although if I can gather enough creativity, I MAY be able to write other stories. Time will tell.

Sat, 10/01/2011 - 02:28
#7
Sharp-Shovel's picture
Sharp-Shovel
I liked it well enough. A fun

I liked it well enough. A fun read for when you've got nothing else to do in the early morning.

Sat, 10/01/2011 - 03:40
#8
Psychodestroyer's picture
Psychodestroyer
Awwwwwwwwwwwww

U make it sound like its only ok to wake you up. I cry now T^T

Wait, it was funny? ^_-

I thought t was dark and somehow cliche...probably the single hero guy thing.

I love single warrior hero standoffs :D

Sat, 10/01/2011 - 10:31
#9
Grittle's picture
Grittle
so.... how can a newbie get

so.... how can a newbie get such high star armor in 1 week?

Sat, 10/01/2011 - 14:56
#10
Ares-Hsg's picture
Ares-Hsg
There was a FREAKING CONTEST????!!!!

Anyway, you're story's great, but your gonna have yourself some more short story competition. If that Zenith dude could just give me some of his CE, then i'd be kicking Vana's butt in 10 minutes( I mean seriously), but, instead, i'm making an entry. Great story though.

Sat, 10/01/2011 - 14:58
#11
Ares-Hsg's picture
Ares-Hsg
Oh it's over... huh

Awkward for me, but whatever. Next time. Great story.

Mon, 10/03/2011 - 02:08
#12
Psychodestroyer's picture
Psychodestroyer
wait, wut?

Who said he had high armour? He had default gear, and a Tempered calibur from his dead friend.

Oh, you must be talking about Max. He was just picked randomly and given stuff so he could help guard haven. Pretty much: 'Here's some gear, wear it, and you now have to help Guard Haven. Kthnxbai.'

All the pros were clockworking >< Typical pros.

Zenith had ce? O_O How did I miss that?

Note: All characters in this story are purely fictional. Any likeness towards any such real person is purely coincidental, and should be treated as such.

Also, in my next entry for any contest, should there BE one, will probably have similar theme (pro tanker noob) and Names >< I suck at coming up with names and stuff.

EDIT: I haven't seen any critics yet. Where u all go critics? Praise is good and all, but is there really NOTHING wrong with mai story?

Mon, 10/03/2011 - 02:24
#13
Psychodestroyer's picture
Psychodestroyer
Edited...

I've added in the italics and bolding, now that I finally figured out HOW to -_-

Mon, 10/03/2011 - 10:01
#14
Linteleor's picture
Linteleor
This is a very good story.

This is a very good story. You have nice flow in the story, it doesn't jolt you out of the mood. I don't normally like SK fanfic, it is usually amateur crap written by 12 year olds. This is not crap. This is nice. I like it.

Here is some of the criticism you seek, though.

- You have a few misspellings. an open-air marketplace is a "bazaar".

- An individual who has started working at cross purposes to an organization is a "rogue". Please don't use the word "rouge" to refer to anything other than the makeup used to redden one's cheeks. Alternately, if you're speaking French, you can use it to refer to something that is red. The rogue/rouge mixup is, IMO, the single most abused word in RPG fanfic, and the easiest way to tell if the author is not worth reading. I almost stopped as soon as I saw it.

- You have a few apostrophe errors - the possessive form of 'who' is 'whose', not 'who's'.

- You often use numerals for small one-word numbers. I believe (and I'm not sure, it's been a while since I was positive about this) that "He turned and found himself facing down three bandits" is preferred over "He turned and found himself facing down 3 Bandits". Obviously, you don't want to spell out something like 'six hundred and thirty-five', but for numbers less than 20, and for numbers divisible by ten less than 100, you have non-hyphenated words you can use instead of a numeric representation.

- There are a couple of other little things, but none of them are horrible. Check your articles; people's mouths are more likely to open and close 'like a goldfish' than 'like goldfish'. I imagine all of these things would be caught in a single proofreading pass.

Mon, 10/03/2011 - 13:46
#15
Valorai's picture
Valorai
i really like it

i really like it

Mon, 10/03/2011 - 20:24
#16
Psychodestroyer's picture
Psychodestroyer
@Linteleor

Thanx, I'll work on that.

Otherwise, this was better than I'd hoped for. I could've sworn I was going somewhere wrong with this story...

Thanks for the support ^^

Tue, 10/18/2011 - 16:10
#17
Scarred-Knight's picture
Scarred-Knight
Wow...

I myself am speachless, why did I not read this when it was posted...

I'm at a lost for words, there is utterly nothing that I can say that needs to be added, its in my eyes perfect. Now for others I bet it will be different, but I can see nothing that needs to be added.

Your character development was huge, each character, even those that were there for a little bit, struck me as unique, and had a role to play in the story.

The idea is unique, the development was spot on, and the ending, perfect.

You have my support if the contest was ever to be redone (see my rant on the original contest page to know what I mean...)

Tue, 10/18/2011 - 16:30
#18
Altos's picture
Altos
What Dark Ritual?

me likes it vewy much :3

Fri, 10/21/2011 - 21:54
#19
Stormgirl's picture
Stormgirl
wow just wow

that was great!i hope to see more fanfics from you in the future.

Mon, 10/24/2011 - 20:48
#20
Psychodestroyer's picture
Psychodestroyer
Hey guys

Nice to see people enjoyed my story. I just managed to log on to change a few errors:

Bazaar should now be spelled correctly.

Got rid of the 'rouge' Linteleor hated. It's now spelled correctly.

Fixed a few grammar errors I noticed. A job I did in a hurry, so I may have missed some.

Fixed minor spelling errors, didn't find many, but again, there may be more I haven't noticed.

'Like a goldfish' instead of 'Like goldfish'.

Blaster now 'Master Blaster.'

Added in a few extra words here and there, nothing much, just to make them make a little more sense. Original readers needn't worry, they won't be missing out on anything if they don't read it again.

Thank you to whoever read this story and provided feedback and those who posted their gratitude, I appreciate knowing that you liked my story. I hope I don't let you down with my future stories should I post them.

Also, Psycho-Valkyrie is me, just on a normal account. This account is steam. Don't worry, and don't get confused.

Edit: Haha. Edited my edit. Spotted a few other errors, and tweaked it a little. Still nothing major, only a few re-phrasings here and there, and changed '3' to 'three'. Must get in the habit, y'kno.

Thu, 10/27/2011 - 19:39
#21
Nechrome's picture
Nechrome
/presents Phsycodestroyer

/presents Phsycodestroyer with "Very Awesome FanFic Award"

very good =D

Sat, 10/29/2011 - 08:28
#22
Softhead's picture
Softhead
So good

I like it!! Anyway, the november fanfic competition, your going to have some competition from me.
I have my own fanfic im going to finish up today.
http://forums.spiralknights.com/en/node/31387
Good Luck

Poor Zenith :(

Sat, 10/29/2011 - 14:49
#23
Psychodestroyer's picture
Psychodestroyer
Thanks guys

"Poor Zenith :("

Whaddaya mean? He survived, but he's now emo, forgotten his original name, has no friends, has uberized his skill, and hell bent on stopping the noobs in Haven from dying.
Good fun.

I pity Psycho. He got killed by a noobish Bandit while helping his friend. Least he died with his sense of humor.

Hope my future stories will be of a similar Calibur. *coughcough*

Sorry. Dry punning is a habit ><

EDIT: oh and sorry Atrumvindex, I won't be able to read your story til mid NOV. Exams till then. Not even supposed to be here now, but DON'T TELL!

Sat, 10/29/2011 - 14:54
#24
Softhead's picture
Softhead
Eh

That fine and I mean no one deseves to be emo, lost his name ect.
and Psycho, sad for im

Have good luck in your exams and once you done, read the fic first, might make a cont.

Tue, 11/08/2011 - 14:26
#25
Psychorazer
Cool story bro ><

Anyone else going to read this? It's getting dusty down here...

Sat, 11/26/2011 - 10:06
#26
Zypker's picture
Zypker
Its a epic story

Its a nice story. Keep them comming.

Sat, 11/26/2011 - 19:49
#27
Psychodestroyer's picture
Psychodestroyer
Hey....

Whaddaya know? Somebody read this again after so long! ^^

@Zypker I wrote another Story: Codename Part 1 is complete, Part 2 is in progress.

Tue, 01/24/2012 - 16:14
#28
Psychodestroyer's picture
Psychodestroyer
Bump

Anyone else wanna read this?

Tue, 01/24/2012 - 19:22
#29
Isisdelltion's picture
Isisdelltion
Nice story!

I sure do

Tue, 01/24/2012 - 21:31
#30
Fallenhope's picture
Fallenhope
bump.

bump.

Tue, 01/24/2012 - 23:41
#31
Demonicsothe's picture
Demonicsothe
I'm waiting on chapter 9

I'm waiting on chapter 9 psycho. Chapter 9.

Wed, 01/25/2012 - 00:24
#32
Psychodestroyer's picture
Psychodestroyer
Okok.... I'm working on it,

Okok....

I'm working on it, but I'm struggling a little, preps for Chinese new year and all that.

Wed, 01/25/2012 - 01:10
#33
Spyash's picture
Spyash
really good

ya you want a mistake you do have one mistake i think i recall you saying hit instead of his at one point.

maybe i'm just wrong on that

Fri, 02/17/2012 - 18:59
#34
Psychodestroyer's picture
Psychodestroyer
Bump

Minor edits, few spelling corrections and a bump for the sake of hoping for more readers.

Sun, 02/19/2012 - 06:13
#35
Maiow
Nice story.

Nice story.

Mon, 02/27/2012 - 15:41
#36
Tevokkia's picture
Tevokkia
Excellent story

The plot, for all that it was short, and dialogue was really well done; I particularly enjoyed the bit of dialogue between Krall and Zenith right before the flashback, when Zenith was throwing Krall's own words back in his face. You're also good with using powerful imagery to evoke emotions in the reader; I was actually a little sad when Psycho died ... not because I had a chance to attach to that particular character, but because you were able to make me empathize with the Knight who became Zenith upon losing his only friend.

Mon, 02/27/2012 - 20:24
#37
Psychodestroyer's picture
Psychodestroyer
.....

Thanks. I appreciate the feedback. Tev, you must have really thought about the story, I appreciate the time you took.

Yeah, I always feel sad every time I read over the bit where Psycho dies...even though I designed that part.

Guess I'm just a sucker for tragedy.

Tue, 03/20/2012 - 20:33
#38
Selenium's picture
Selenium
This.

... :D

Epicness.

Tue, 04/17/2012 - 16:09
#39
Seventhswordsman's picture
Seventhswordsman
about Spiral Knights Fan fiction

Hey psycho!
Can I enter the fan-fiction contest even though it is not really about Spiral Knights?

Tue, 04/17/2012 - 16:52
#40
Psychodestroyer's picture
Psychodestroyer
@Sev

No, for two reasons:

1) It's a Spiral Knights fanfiction contest
2) IT ENDED ALMOST A YEAR AGO!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Tue, 04/17/2012 - 16:56
#41
Fallconn's picture
Fallconn
FALCON PUNCH!

^O^?

Tue, 04/17/2012 - 17:01
#42
Korakc's picture
Korakc
I actually loved it :D Keep

I actually loved it :D Keep up the good work!

Tue, 04/17/2012 - 17:05
#43
Psychodestroyer's picture
Psychodestroyer
@Fallconn

Seventhswordsman is an IRL friend. He's working on something and can't be bothered calling me for one specific thing alone.

@Korakc Haha, this was actually my first ever fanfiction, ever. I've since written the Codename series and Sacrifice, although Codename is only about 6/10ths complete, excluding the rest of the storyline.

Wed, 04/18/2012 - 04:31
#44
Snowdusk's picture
Snowdusk
Hello there Psycho :)

Nice work there! Didn't know u can write an intriguing tale besides filling in funny answers in the question of the day XD

The battle scenes were brought out very vividly, along with a nice idea of the moral of the story. I like how Zenith was described as an exceptionally brave knight who fears nothing, and even dares to confront the Gran Faust with a mere Proto Sword. Great characters there :)

For the storyline, there is plenty of room for improvement. You could work on it by writing in more details and in-sights, like the scene before the poor little knights were left alone in Haven, and why the bandits were formed. The flow of the story was sometimes kinda awkward. For example, the gap between the battle of Zenith as a proto guy to the introduction of Mark was too sudden. Try to put in some thoughts on the plot development. That way, an excellent climax can be built; this is essential in telling a heart-pounding story.

Overall, I would really like another great work from you. Keep it up! :)

Wed, 04/18/2012 - 06:41
#45
Psychodestroyer's picture
Psychodestroyer
><

This was really only intended as a one-shot. If I were to make it a series, those are definitely points I'd develop on, over a few stories if not all at once.

Thank you for your comments and criticism, I'll take that on board and keep it in mind.

Not all my QotD answers are funny methinks. Some are quite lame if memory serves.

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