Agent Flint's Generic RPG

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This land is called the Redundancy. It is a standard continent with grass, water, a castle, mountains, and trees. The grand kingdom of Everfell has established its rule in this continuent and promises peace and prosperity for years to come!
Until now, big surprise.
The king of Everfell has received dire news. The ruler of the north continent: Sarfram has sent a letter; a warning that the days to come will be dark as they come to conquer them. The king has reached a decision.

He will send one person to go stop this threat. Maybe two. There’s a slight chance for even three. You are in control of these heroes. Will you be able to stop the impending darkness quickly, or will you grind for hours before you do?

Welcome to my new ‘experimental’ forum game: Agent Flint’s Generic RPG. It’s different from traditional RPGs in the sense that it’s well… different. You’ll see. Here is the basic content of this game.
-The game starts with two characters. Up to six more join the party as the game progresses. You can control one of these characters at a time and switch to different characters during checkpoints.
-Oh, and you have no control over what these characters say or think.
-There’s no mana. Mana is replaced with a new system called Charge.
-Don’t expect a 9/10 for story. It is probably rather ridiculous.
-Everyone has some terrible names. Once you see them you’ll know.

After you read the rules, come have a look at these Game Modifiers. Pick two of them which will probably affect the game permanently. Or maybe just the chapter.
Vote… without a poll.
Faster Fights: Make battles go faster! ALL damage is doubled.
Faster Grinding: Make grinding easier! Experience is increased by 50%.
Disable Grinding: Experience gain is disabled. Characters will never level up, but neither will enemies.
Better Names: All of the characters get better names.
Codex: Become smarter. Damage formulas for skills and the defense stat are revealed.

Also, pick a character to play as.
♂️1 - Standard melee class with a good old fashioned sword. Appears in Chapter 1-1.
♀️2 - Balanced magic class with a variety of spells. Appears in Chapter 1-1.
♂️3 - Fast melee class with speed and stealth. Appears in Chapter 1-3.

#501
Remember, don't shoot food.

Attack Monkey2 I guess.

#502
Unique Sidequest

Siren uses Kick Slash on Monkey #3. -46, -16, -45.
Monkey #3 was defeated.
Siren attacks Monkey #2. -61.
Monkey #2 smacks Siren. -20.
Monkey #4 smacks Siren. -17.

Siren, Level 8
HP - 64/120
CHR - 2/4

Monkey2, Level 9
HP - 24/85
Monkey4, Level 9
HP - 85/85

#503
Remember, don't shoot food.

Attack Monkey2 again.

#504

Break Monkey4.

#505
Unique Sidequest

Siren attacks Monkey #2. -60.
Monkey #2 got rekt.
Siren uses Break on Monkey #4. -59.
Monkey #4 smacks Siren. -20.

Siren, Level 8
HP - 44/120
CHR - 2/4

Monkey4, Level 9
Rekt(1)
HP - 26/85

#506
Remember, don't shoot food.

Attack.

#507
Unique Sidequest

Siren kicks the monkey out of her way. -40.
Back to exploring!

........[?]
....[X][P][X]
[?][_][_][S][?]
....[X][_][X]
------Exit---

#508

Check out the room to the right.

#509
Unique Sidequest

Siren opens the door and finds some sort of fragment. It looks like it's supposed to resemble a circular crest, but it's pretty much just a third of one.
Found a '1/3 Crest'.

........[?]
....[X][P][X][?]
[?][_][_][_][S]
....[X][_][X][?]
------Exit-------

#510
Remember, don't shoot food.

Go down.

#511
Unique Sidequest

(By the way you got 40 Experience for defeating the monkeys.)
Siren encounters a bulky pirate standing in the room.
Pirate: Eh? Wut err you doin in 'ere? Eh, whateveh. Boss said no intrudehs!

Siren, Level 8
Bubble(9)
HP - 96/120
CHR - 3/4

Heavy Pirate, Level 9
HP - 190/190
CHR - 2/4

#512
Remember, don't shoot food.

Curse because I don't know what that does..

#513

Kick Slash!

#514
Unique Sidequest

Siren casts Curse on the Heavy Pirate. Enemy was cursed!
Siren uses Kick Slash on the Heavy Pirate. -42, -14, -44.
Heavy Pirate punches Siren. Missed!
Heavy Pirate punches Siren. Blocked!

Siren, Level 8
HP - 96/120
CHR - 1/4

Heavy Pirate, Level 9
Intimidate(2), Shatter(1), Shift(2), Rift(1), Poison(2), Burn(2), Dazed(2)
HP - 90/190
CHR - 4/4

#515
Remember, don't shoot food.

Kick Slash again.

#516

Attack, of course.

#517
Unique Sidequest

Siren uses Kick Slash. Miss, -15, -46.
Siren attacks the Heavy Pirate. -47.
Heavy Pirate was defeated.
Gained 50 Experience.

There was nothing else in the room.
........[?]........
....[X][P][X][?]
[?][_][_][_][_]
....[X][_][X][S]
------Exit-------

#518
Remember, don't shoot food.

Up twice.

#519
Unique Sidequest

Siren enters the next room.
There's just a crest fragment sitting on the ground. How uninspiring.
Found a '1/3 Crest'.

........[?].........
....[X][P][X][S]
[?][_][_][_][_]
....[X][_][X][_]
------Exit-------

#520
Welp,

Time to go lock pick that door.

#521
Unique Sidequest

Siren tries picking the lock on the door, but her lockpick snaps quickly.
(You rolled a 4.)

........[?].........
....[X][P][X][_]
[?][S][_][_][_]
....[X][_][X][_]
------Exit-------

#522

Try lockpicking again?

#523
Unique Sidequest

Siren is out of lockpicks.

#524
Oh

Well uh, then let's try sneaking past the Pirates.

If that doesn't work, directly confront them.

#525
Unique Sidequest

Siren tries sneaking past the pirates.
Pirate2: Hey! You there!
Siren: Hm?
Pirate2: Ye can't be sneakin' past us! You'll be walkin' the plank!
Pirate1: Why does she have to walk on a plank? Can't you just push her off the ship?
Pirate2: Ye have to be like a pirate! Say 'Arrr', ye scurvy dog!
Pirate1: R? For what reason do I need to say a letter?
Siren: Pardon, but can we just fight already?
Pirate1: Of course, madam.
Pirate2: You'll regret your indiscretion!
Pirate1: Didn't know you had some vocabulary in you.
Pirate2: Shut up!

Siren, Level 8
HP - 96/120
CHR - 3/4

Business Pirate, Level 5
HP - 126/126
CHR - 2/4
Brackish Pirate, Level 10
HP - 161/161
CHR - 2/4

#526

Basic Attack Business Pirate, then River Combo Brackish Pirate.

#527
Unique Sidequest

(River Combo costs 5 Charge, despite the fact that you saw someone else do it.)
Siren uses Kick Slash on Business Pirate. -45, -16, -44.
Siren attacks Brackish Pirate. Missed.
Business Pirate drinks some wine. +30.
Brackish Pirate attacks Siren. Missed.

Siren, Level 8
HP - 96/120
CHR - 3/4

Business Pirate, Level 5
HP - 51/126
CHR - 1/4
Brackish Pirate, Level 10
HP - 161/161
CHR - 3/4

#528
Remember, don't shoot food.

Attack the Business Pirate.

#529
Odd.

Attack the Business Pirate again.

#530
Unique Sidequest

Siren attacks the Business Pirate. -51.
Business was defeated...
Brackish Pirate: Avast! I must flee, worry not, I'll avenge you!
Brackish Pirate flees.
Business Pirate: ...no. Not... Yet...
Say something.

#531

"Not yet? What do you need to do?"

#532
Unique Sidequest

Siren: Not yet? What do you need to do?
Business Pirate: All I... Ever wanted to do... Was sell ties. Please... Just let me go.
-Let Him Go
-Kill him for s***s and giggles

#533

Let Him Go.

#534
Unique Sidequest

Siren: Alright, get lost.
Business Pirate: Thank you...
The business pirate limps away.
Found a 'Mythril Lockpick'.

........[?].........
....[X][S][X][_]
[?][_][_][_][_]
....[X][_][X][_]
------Exit-------

#535

Lockpick the locked door again.

#536
Unique Sidequest

Siren successfully picks the lock on the door using her new lockpick. There was nothing in the room. Stupendous.

........[?].........
[?][X][_][X][_]
[S][_][_][_][_]
[?][X][_][X][_]
------Exit-------

#537
But there are more rooms...

Go downwards.

#538
Unique Sidequest

You found a small chest. And it doesn't have a lock, how lucky!
Found a 'Shark Crest'. Attack has been permanantly raised by 1.
(At this point Siren and Agent have 15 Attack, meaning they'll do 50 damage to enemies with 100 defense, or 84 damage to unarmored enemies.)

[X]....[?]....[X]
[?][X][_][X][_]
[_][_][_][_][_]
[S][X][_][X][_]
------Exit-------

#539
Remember, don't shoot food.

Up twice.

#540
Unique Sidequest

The room is empty.
No wait, a crest fragment just randomly fell on Siren's head.
That might've stung a little.
Found a '1/3 Crest'.
You've now got all pieces of the Crest of Tears.

[X]....[?]....[X]
[S][X][_][X][_]
[_][_][_][_][_]
[_][X][_][X][_]
------Exit-------

#541

Looks like there's nothing else to do but to go into that room at the end of the main hall.

#542
Unique Sidequest

Siren walks back to the large door. And places the Crest of Tears into the circle indent.
The door opens.

In the room... Is a decorated vial with a purple liquid in it.

........[?]........
[X]....[S]....[X]
[_][X][_][X][_]
[_][_][_][_][_]
[_][X][_][X][_]

#543

Try going into the room ahead first, before examining the vial.

#544
Unique Sidequest

There's some sort of ancient language written on the door, but Siren does not understand it. There also seems to be no way to open the door without knowing the language.

Siren examines the vial. It's not a petrification potion.

#545
...

Drink from the vial.

#546
Chapter 0-4

Siren unscrews the cap on the vial... And drinks all of it's contents. She is met with lightheadedness, and collapses from her dizziness.

-22 Years Ago-
Riverside Village

Elder: Now... Young one, you must go into the water temple and defend our village's ancient secrets.
Girl: But I want to play with my friends today!
Elder: I wish it could be different, but you must do this.
Girl: But... But... Will I ever see any of my friends again?
Elder: I'm afraid not. I apologize.
The girl turns and runs off, crying.
?????: Will she be okay?
Elder: ...that is up to her.

Water Temple
Girl: *sniffle* Why... Why can't I stay with everyone?
A stranger wearing a bandana walks up to the girl.
Stranger: Hello, are you okay?
-"No... I'm not."
-"..."
-"Leave me alone!"

#547
Remember, don't shoot food.

...

#548
Chapter 0-4

Girl: ...
Stranger: Would you care to help me with something?
-"No."
-"What?"

#549

"What?"

#550
Chapter 0-4

Girl: What is it?
Stranger: ...
The stranger pulls out a flintlock and aims it at the girl.
Stranger: I know who you are, take me to the Water Temple or i'll kill you.
Girl: Wh... a...
The girl reluctantly walks to the water temple.
Another stranger joins him.
Pirate2: Nice! We're gonna be rich now!
Pirate1: Of course, now girlie, guide us through the temple.
Girl: But I-
Pirate1: Shut up! You will do as we say or die!

.............[?]
.........[?][?][?][?]
[X][?][_][X]
....[X][_][X]....
[X][_][_][_][X]
....[X][S][X]....