Come up with an original joke about SK, and you might win a cool 1kce!
The jokes have to be original, and the competition ends at midnight, June 3rd, mountain pacific time. I will be judging.
First place: 1kce
3 runner ups: 100ce
First one to post the joke claims it, so no complaining if your joke is taken!
A swordsman gets scared and walks out of a gunner bar. I guess he couldn't hold up to their level of Valiance.
Sk is a free to play game.
thats the joke, get it? HA... sigh i miss the old days...
There is no limit. :) No reason for me to limit the amount of entries.
Cradle police chasing a crimnal said "Freeze!" He was then "Shock"ed by the criminals answer.... :x
Tier 3 gremlins don't like it from behind.
Q: What do ppl say when they are kicking Lord Vanaduke's butt?
A: Wow, we are on fire!
[2 Trade] Rits: WTS Monster Boner
Partypoper's the only one who made me laugh.. the rest are so lame -.-
Q: What were the Stranger's last words?
A: I've been "sniped".
What musical instrument can tame a Gun Puppy?
A bombone.
-So I just crafted a new 2* sword, it was a spur of the moment decision.
-What did the gun puppy say when he saw the lumber?
bark!
-What did the jelly king say when he saw a group of knights wielding Gran Fausts approaching?
Curses!
I could set all these F2P whiners straight but I just don't have the energy.
a man fell dead to the ground, then he vanished, guess he didn't have the energy to continue
LOL, this is all i can come up with for right now....
Joke #1
Question: Ughh, im lagging soo much in Spiral Knights, any suggestions?
Answer: Take a couple Bytes out of your Apple.
Joke #2
Why did Lord Vanaduke make a spiral knight cry?
Becuase he burned him!
Joke #3
Why did the Rigadoon die?
Becuase he was fearless!
Joke #4
OMG, i always die in the Clockworks! I thought i was in the Cradle!
Joke #5
What made Shruikan attractive?
He hade a Flourish!
Joke #6
What do u need to have in order to play SK?
Energy!
Joke #7
Why did the Gremlin cross the road?
To get to the other side!
Joke #8
What is the run you cant trust the most?
A JK run!
Joke #9
What is the monster that most swords hate?
The Leviathon!
Joke #10
Shruikan: WTS Storm Driver 200ce !!
Necrax: That's shocking!!!
Joke #11
Iron Slugs are disgusting!
Joke #12
Most of my SK jokes are PUNNY!!!!
they just unwind (IRL)
Laminarflo
Crafter? I hardly even know 'er!
I once tried taking my knight to the dentist...
He said I needed 1000 crowns.
Eupho, that's the kind of joke that might win. :) Very funny and original.
I find GodofSkypes posts to be the most eloquent and wise I have ever seen.
His insight is only matched by his humbleness and honesty.
Reading them is so delightful I almost call BehindCurtain to help me digest them.
No offense intended.
This is all I got so far.
Question.
If you die, where will you spend eternity?
Answer.
"Haven"
IGN Guardianknight.
So a Spiral Knight named "Knight" is declared King of Haven. He gets a beautiful, shiny golden crown worth more than 1,000,000 crystal energy. One day another Spiral Knight walks up to him and says: "How can such a poor Spiral Knight be declared King of Haven? You only have one crown!"
Yes, I forgive you if you think my joke is horrible, and I won't be offended if you say so.
When the Pit Boss found out all of his employees were out of commission...
... All he could do was Grunt.
Did the other knights laugh when their party leader fell on an Ice Cube?
No, but the Ice Cube sure cracked up!
Did you hear about the knight who was dissatisfied using a volt driver against quicksilvers?
It wasn't to his lichen.
Knight #1. Hey, what's up?
Knight #2. I'm about to go upgrade my calibur.
Knight #1. Cool I'll come with you.
Later at alchemy.....
Knight #2. Ahh....I need 50ce.
Knight #1. Here I'll give you some.
Knight #2. Thanks. Alright time to craft.
Transmuting.....done.
Knight #2. Oh no...
Knight #1. What's wrong?
Knight #2. It says my calibur is "Tampered".
IGN Guardianknight.
Joke 1
Knight1-What bomb is that?
Knight2-Big Angry Bomb. It packs quite a punch.
Knight1-Doesn't look Big...
Knight2-No, don't say th-!
*Bomb starts Glowing Yellow*
Knight1-WTF!?
*BOOOOOOOOM!!!*
------------------------------------------------------------
Joke 2
Knight1-Hey, look! Treasure Chests! Can you take this Energy Gate out?
Knight2-Nope.
Knight1-What? Why not?
Knight2-Because...*Pulls out sunglasses*I just don't have the energy. YEEEEEEAAAAHH!
Knight1&3-...
Knight3-Just open the damn gate...
Knight2-Okay...
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Joke 3
What do you call a Leviathan's Ex?
An Ex-Calibur.
In game name: IronSkullKid
Howabout a riddle?
What will never come but is always there?
The Core.... :\
I use my faust charge attack too much. then i got a gran faust. I got cursed. its too late. someone thought of gran faustts curse joke already.
they are a little literal when they say red carpet runaround... cuz im running to the four corners, thern, back, then forward, then around dogding the gun puppies, then to the royal battle, i mean battle royale.
Where's the garden in the garden of goo? all i see is the goo. and you.
ok, who thought of putting machines in the garden? are the royal minis and pink jellycubes and blast cubes THAT LAZY?
I know a guy who is scared of butterflies. why? they look like silkwings. the same guy is also afraid of office workers. dont get me started about bats.
Boswick: "come in."
Random knight: "hey boswick, i heard you got a new cat!"
"im sorry, you're wrong. i got a kat."
"but, that's what i just said... ooooooohhhhhh. so where is it?"
"Some guy's argent peacemaker came too close."
Does nick get a chance at the prize?
If you bring a medieval scientist to now, he'll be happiest right here in spiral kngihts. too bad there's no gold.
Everyone says im unique. does that mean my mom got a UV out of the alchemy machine?
Well, im tired for the day. tho i still have lots of energy. about 4700.
O wolver, little wolver, wont you come down with me?
O spiral, little spiral, whats that sword of cautery?
O wolver, little wolver, its to cut the jelly
O spiral, little spiral, whats that suit of skelly,
O wolver, little wolver, its to keep my shirt clean,
O spiral, little spiral, are you about to glean?
That's right!
poor wolver.
Lord Vanaduke lines.
#1. Is it hot in here, or is it just me?
#2. Don't mess with me, you might get burned.
#3. Wow! Someone should get me a glass of water cause i'm on fire.
Conversation between Vanaduke and his son (if he had one).
Son. Dad look, i'm on fire.
Vanaduke. That's great son. Keep up the good work.
Son. I'm gonna go kill some knights.
Vanaduke. Ok just remember, being on fire is a good thing but when you start
smoking that's bad...It can kill you.
Son. Ok dad. Thanks for the advice.
Three months later...
Friend. So how did your son die Vanaduke?
Vanaduke. He started smoking.
IGN Guardianknight.
what did the JK say to the cutter?
Inside peanut-butter, outside Jelly.
Two Spiral Knights are making their way through the clockworks, when a wolver suddenly pops out of the bushes. The first knight yelps in fright, but the second knight calmly defeats it.
A little bit farther along, a chromalisk drops out of a tree right on top of the two knights. The first knight gasps in fear, but the second knight quickly defeats this monster too.
As the two knights approach the elevator, a trojan suddenly bursts through a wall, completely terrifying the first knight, but the second knight remains cool and collected as he makes quick work of the creature.
At this point, the first knight has become very impressed with the second knight's bravery.
He says to him, "You're totally amazing, it's like nothing surprises you. How do you do it?"
To which, the second knight replies, "Well, all my gear's shock-resitant."
I vote for Blacksword's post. Very clever.
Q: Why did the knight's postbox keep wobbling?
A: He had jelly mail.
Wife: I'm sure you got a good price on it, but how are we supposed to eat off of this ancient plate set?
Doctor! Doctor! I'm afraid of the dark!
Well switch on your owlight then.
A knight returns home covered in burns from a long day battling in the Fire Storm Citadel. His Irish wife asks, "What on earth happened to you? I only asked you to run and get me some tea tree oil!"
Knight 1: I heard you like to go shopping in every town you visit?
Knight 2: Yeah, I'm a real Kozmapolitan!
Daddy! Daddy! Uncle Brinks gave me a swordstone for my birthday!
Pfft, that's just a token gesture.
Q: Why did the snipe cross the road?
A: Because its choice was confined by knights.
Q: Why was the Jelly King kicked out his throne?
A: He had no more CROWNS.
...
I want to go to tier 3, but my armor is only level 3 and I can't take the heat.
The Jelly King arena is sort of like Chuck E. Cheese.
It's sticky, there's food everywhere but most of it is dangerous, and you can never get enough tokens from there to have a good time anymore.
What do knights get when they spend too much time mining minerals?
Answer: Rainbow lung.
What does Basil do with all the money he gets from selling recipes?
Answer: Betting on snipe fights.
How did the Keep of Almire catch on fire and become Firestorm Citadel?
Answer: Vanaduke accidentally burned the kitchen down trying to barbecue Vog Cubs with Oiler sauce.
A knight walks in on another knight in the middle of "fiddling the chicken"
Woah, man, the hell are you doing!?
The chicken friendly Knight turns around and says...
"I'm beatin my heat..."
Joke two...
After an exhausting 2 hour trip into the clockworks two spiral knights fall in love... They are considering creating heat, and finally the man and woman decide to do just that! The manly knight proceeds to go down on misses knight... He anxiously lifts up her armor only to find a sign saying 10 Crystal Energy
NOOOOOOOO
If by any chance my humor food taste good to your ear tongues my in game name is Taluman.
If by some chance, I do end up winning a prize, my in game name is also Euphonous. :D
Thank you very much and whatnot.
Mini Jelly: I've trained my whole life for this...
Knight: -slays-
Mini Jelly: -melts in agony- MY WHOLE LIFE HAS BEEN A LIE!
-What is the most popular artistic style in Cradle?
Vog Cubism
I was wandering around in Haven when I heard a strange voice.
"Help me! I'm stuck and I don't know where I am!"
Curious to know where the voice came from, I looked around, hoping to spot an especially clueless newbie. To my relief, most of them were asking for crowns, CE and whatnot. However, that did not answer my burning question: Where did that voice come from.
"I'm over here! I'm stuck and it's all dark in here."
It came from the ground. Voices don't come from the ground, and I'm quite sure the Graveyard is way beneath my feet, so what could have happened here?
"Whoever you are, did you... ... ... glitch yourself into the ground? That could explain why you're lost. What were you trying to do before? Oh, and your name...?"
The voice replied, "I'm Boswick! I'm not too sure how I got in there, but I was trying to join my friends to beat Snarby..."
"Well, Boswick, I'm pretty sure it's a hilarious bug they forgot to fix. Why don't you file a bug report and logoff for a bit. I'm sure the game will be patched by then."
"Thank you, kind knight! I'll never forget your kindness!"
Feeling good about myself (albeit slightly weirded out with a mild sense of forboding doom, I decided to join my guildmates for a Jelly King run.
And then the server rebooted.
I logged on back after the reboot, and that's when I got glitched into the ground. The very same place Boswick had been trapped in.
BOOOOOOOOSWIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIICKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK
IGN: Drmchsr
"I've had it with these prices!" screamed the new player. "At this rate I'll never be able to afford new equipment."
"Cry moar," came the veteran's response.
"I would," the newbie said, "But I can't get past the first tear!"
How many entries are we allowed?
Mine:
A gunner walks out of a swordsmen bar. He just wasn't up to their calibur.