Battle Ready, Pt 1 Preparations (Discussion Thread) Apps OPEN
Advertising? I thought you were better than that.
Sorry.
It's just that nobody really likes me.
..............
i'llremoveitkaymhem
You said he sort of likes to name his weapons? Does he have one name for each or does he just make em up on the fly?
Styx could be a good name for his Acheron...
What would he name his weapons?
If you've got Amber stuck in your head, go ahead and keep using her.
It's not like I didn't intend to use her character elsewhere.
I find it. . . Dissapointing that the discussion thread rarely has any comments here, Yet you actively do your part.
It's almost like everyone's saying "I leave it up to you".
I had forgotten to edit that part. I'll be using Imca.
I will say this first - I am likely incredibly biased to favor this chapter considering that Ebony got to have an exclusive moment in it. :) However, I'll do my best to regard it as I would any other.
For the most part, it was a nice transition chapter. Now that it's been established where the knights are, the biggest question remaining is, what kinds of surprises lie inside of this base? I'm liking that the description leaves enough detail that we can understand what this place is like, but not so much so as to distract us from our own images of the story. There are quite a few moments, however, where I think spell check may have sent some words awry, but they don't detract from the story itself.
And...out of review form...
EBONY GOT TO HAVE A SPECIAL MOMENT!! :D WOOHOO!
...*ahem*. Pardon that outburst of excitement. It's just cool to see my characters be used in a story like this, especially in that sort of way. :)
Name: Ray Lark
Gender: Male
Appearance: Purple Eyes, never seen without armor and helmet.
Group: Commander.
Armor/Shield: Azure Guardian Armor and Helm, Aegis.
Weapons: Azure Battleaxe (Single-edged one-handed Leviathan colored Battleaxe. Handle lengthens to become a two-handed weapon.)
Personality/Bio: Ray is a man of honor, his father gave him the axe he uses and he works hard to make sure all he co!mands are safe. Even though he looks imposing, he is very friendly and makes people in his presence feel comfortable. A warrior at heart, he has a healthy contempt for politics and formality. He doesn't like when people disrespect the order, he tolerates none of it. Other things he can deal with, but he holds the order at heart. Nothimgnwill change him.
Allowed to die: As a minor side character, the chances are high.
Same application form as before. If you've already posted an app, please wait until late friday to make post a second app. If you post one earlier that's fine, just keep in mind I will only consider it when the day comes.
Notes.
-Omega squad are Recon Rangers
-They are Veterans, experience is required.
Leader:
Striker:
Recon:
Guardian:
I take it that Colin and Ray are related in some way? They both have the same last name and Colin's father is noted to be a veteran warrior...
And he's probably going to die?! Oh my...this'll be interesting. >:)
Hmm, I think it might be better if you just focus on two team, the recon and the lota squad, it is already hard to track their progress as it is. And as always, you can use Affraiel as the omega squad guardian.
Affraiel: "It is time to kick butt and chew gums, and I am all out of gums..."
Penumbra: "Hmm, Affraiel... where did you learn to talk like that?"
Affraiel: "SHUT UP MUM, I didn't ask for an old hag's opinion on how I talk!"
Penumbra: "But that wasn't an opinion..."
Serris: "Hmm, you two should pair up, mother and son team, one striker and one guardian... and I could be the team leader."
Affraiel and Penumbra: "Don't cut in you whimp!"
Serris: "Okay... sheshhh..."
X: "Master Serris, I can be the recon if you choose to..."
Serris: "Now that is what I called one big happy family..."
Well, I'm not going to be doing an Omega squad perspective. They will be side characters, always there just not touched upon as much. If nobody applies by next week then I'll use Affraiel. And I'll make my own squad members.
@Kanoka: So much for that suprise.
I personally thought that making the Omega Squad could be a fun way to add some new characters into the storyline. After all, we are in an Order where there are dozens upon hundreds of knights that fight their way though the Clockworks daily.
It's still adding new characters to the story and they will effect the events happening in the story. They just won't be told from their perspective.
'With a weapon like Var, I wouldn't be suprised to see a gremlin take it for it's own. . . Uses.
Anyway.
Back to sitting quietly, Ignoring all of these worthless scum.'
"Hey, Lady- Do you think they'd mind if you were free for a while?" A gremlin snickers all too casually.
Imca stares for a moment, before tossing a loose rock at the gremlin's eyes.
She turns in the bed, and goes back to sleep.
---
As shown above, We can create small First Person. . . Jiblets.
I was referring to making fan stories, Colray.
Like above.
In other words: Not you, Colray.
Why should I shorten chapters? If its top long for you then only read say, half at a time? I dunno.
Omega Squad members
Leader: Alfred Grey
Striker: Bernard West
Guardian: Affraiel
Recon: Garret Darrius
Personalities and bios will be revealed in the story.
A very intriguing way to end a chapter! I'm especially interested to see who the traitor is, considering what we know about the characters and what we've talked about here in the discussion forums.
I wish the chapters weren't so short, though. :P I understand only having so much time to write things out completely, and even procrastinating on writing (since that just so happens to be my forte...), but I've continuously found myself wanting more info to go off of. In other words, cudos to the good writing!
This is one of those parts that I know I wanted in the story. I have multiple points of the story which I thought before hand and pretty much prevented this from being an rp. Again, thank you for continuously reading and comenting.
Well, I suppose I'll continue to have to sit on my hands.
But still, Great job so far.
At least, I think that's what your waiting for... Idk.
Since school is coming, I've decided I will start posting rather irregularly. Pretty much when I've finished the chapter.
Complications happened and I ended up with a boatload of homework first week of school. Great start you think? Anyways, sorry for being almost a week late. I'm going to be switching from my tablet to typing them chapters up on a computer. The app I was using was a little laggy.
Man, Affraiel got nerfed hard in this fan fic, he should have taken out the entire ghostmanes before his teammates even pulled a trigger.
Remember, Affraiel LOVES smack talk and flirting with the ladies, even if they are on the enemy side or way younger than him.
Schoolwork can be a huge pain...so I can empathize with what you mean, hehe.
It's intriguing to see how the relationships go between the members of the squad, and where trust lies in the group. I'll be looking forward to reading the next chapter!
its been 3 weeks... I'm sorry, Got a writer's block whenever I sat down to write this one.
Subjects tells all.
First off...I feel really, really, bad.
I hit the mother of all Writer's blocks. and I had a boatload of homework followed by procrastination. Other than that I have no excuse. So... this story is going to be all of my free time. I will get this out, and I hopefully won't have anymore droughts. I've got one chapter fully written, and the next about a quarter through. Once I get the P.O.V. of Iota squad finished, I'll release chapter 9, then the next day I'll release chapter 10. Hopefully I can get this ball rolling again. As always feedback/suggestions are welcome and helpful! Even if it is an Opinion.
Since you have a thing going with different squads appearing at different points, you could probably focus on any one squad you have ideas for while writing. Assuming you have a general idea for your plot, it might be possible for you to skip around in time, until you can release chapters in their correct order.
Just make sure to proofread and release chapters in chronological order.
Maybe I'll try it for a few chapters when writers block comes trick or treating to my house.
Chapter 9 hopefully will be out tomorrow. Sorry in advance for any grammar errors.
Chapter format is going to be a little tricky now, might starting doing them from P.O.V.'s now. Which means chapters may take longer, but will be longer, and more character spotlights!
Sorry if Imca isn't as tough as usual, didn't make sense to me that she would be still rude when her squad was just split up in every direction.
I don't know about you guys, but I'm still in school, and I get a week off next week :) So I'm going to see if I can write at least two chapters and get them out to you.
My main complain with the Story is that the story line is very convoluted, usually in my fan fic, the plot is clearly explained in the early chapters, if you paid any attention at all to the machinaut: steel butterfly chronical, then you will know that I prefer going straight to the point. Tell you the baddies and the goodies of the story, anyone who is morally ambiguous gets to appear inbetween. I usually focus on the one or two character through out a story to keep it simple while having ample amount of time to develop the two character that I focused on. (in case you haven't notice, whenever I have a story, it is an active exchange between two characters: Affraiel and Nezula, Serris and X, Elzilia and Ursulan, Saboteur and Mezizas, KV-103 and UTS-00003.
--commercial time--
Affraiel: "Pft, Valkyrie boy, you are such a casul, you need to git gud..."
Midnight: "Well, atleast I body slammed Ash to the ground and knocked him unconscious, I think..."
Affraiel: "Broke you gun, still casul..."
I like your style of going with two characters, its very easy to control things, I made the mistake of thinking I could handle multiple people. I think I might start splitting the squads into smaller groups of 1-3 to help me deal with them.
My motivation to write this is slowly falling, I wonder if I should put this on hiatus and start an RP off of an idea I've been cooking.
Yup, I'm done. It's called part 1 for a reason.
Anyhow, it's not because it seems like nobody is reading. I know you are, even if you don't comment.
A bit of a cliff-hanger, doesn't seem finished, but I can't anymore, I have ideas I want to try out here, but I want to focus on one at a time. I'll make a part two sometime later.
I also made some mistakes I couldn't handle right at the beginning. For instance the many characters. I thought I could, but I can't. I need to focus on less characters.
I guess you all are right. Not much did happen to be worth any comments. I probably shouldn't have put that first question more or less begging for something.
About the time difference, there's a reason I started then, and not like I did Delta Squad. I wanted to put in a past to Iota squad. A past that each character could learn from.
Ok, writing time.