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Perspectives Clash - S̶h̶o̶r̶t̶ Fan Fiction

64 replies [Last post]
Sun, 12/21/2014 - 23:56
Hexlash's picture
Hexlash

Greetings!

You are cordially invited to the annual Gathering of Aspirers, hosted by the prestigious Silver Elites Guild!
Please present your invitation by Christmas Eve to be granted access into our halls.

Events for the night:

Guests mingle.


Dinner is served.


Awards are presented.


Speeches.


Special Surprise!

Weaponry is not permitted, if it is found, you will be removed from the premises.
We hope to see you there!

(OOC: Ever heard of And Then There were None? Yeah, this is kinda like that. Character apps must be in this form:
Name:

Loadout:

Appearance:

Personality:

Bio: (LIMITED TO INTERESTING FACTS, OR THINGS THAT REALLY AFFECT WHO THE CHARACTER IS)

Please take everything I said in character literally. The more descriptive your app is, the easier I can represent them. The more apps accepted, the longer the story will take to write.
EDIT: You may include a brief passage, introducing how your character reacts to the message, if you feel inclined. [Also, I totally took a page out Thinslayer's book, making the OP =P])

Jack read over the invitation a second time. He had never heard of the Gathering of Aspirers, or the supposedly famed Silver Elites Guild. His shoulders raised in a shrug and he deleted the message.

(Numbers: Critzer - 8, Ember - 13, Winter Grey - 6, Cross - null, Davjo - 15, Altria - 16, Chris - 2)

Mon, 12/22/2014 - 01:34
#1
Critzer's picture
Critzer
^^!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Name: Critzer

Loadout: She has a costume (will have pics in appearance) But has a set of skolver, a combuster, fearless rigadon, and a magma driver. She has two trinkets which are an elite quick strike module and a penta-heart pendant

Appearance: Cute lineart Pyromaniac Hey eyes have a bit more of a flame like tint to them that shows vibrantly when she is excited/determined.

Personality: She is insane, she switches between personalities quickly. One side being bubbly and nice to others, the other just wanting to see the world burn. The closest thing to her are her friends and she does anything to help them or avenge them. She gets annoyed by those who are deliberately inefficient, unreliable and/or dependent on others and only complain about the problem they face rather then going at it. She can be blood thirsty, gruesome, cruel, and outright evil.

Bio: Im tired and dont wanna have to repeat Find my app, the story died, also think itd save a lot of room to just link it rather then copy and paste.

Critzer mearly looks at the message and then looks around at what she was doing. She was in the middle of haven, standing at the auction area not even talking to anyone. She shrugged and smiled "Wonder why they invited me...?"

Mon, 12/22/2014 - 01:47
#2
Hexlash's picture
Hexlash
A Wolver's Purpose

It's really late...

Critzer :3

Uh... Are you sure you're bringing all those weapons with you? Just checking.

I also read the entire bio. It wasn't exactly a good bedtime story. :c

But otherwise, accepted. ;D

Mon, 12/22/2014 - 02:32
#3
Ember-Break's picture
Ember-Break
Wait... Is this gonna be... A MURDER MYSTERY?! HAYUL YEAH.

[I'm too lazy to build up an app. So I'm gonna follow Critzer's example and just put in my own SK-In-Play character. I'm gonna make the appearance my ideal form of the set I use... But I'm far too poor to actually afford most of the accessories I list. Anyways. Moving on. Time to make my character a proper RP character.]

Name: Ember-Break (Ember/Emby/That-one-person for short. Or long depending on what nickname the one in question chooses)

Loadout: Ember wears a Vog-Skolver combination set underneath their Emberbreak [Whoa, surprise surprise for that to be the costume I wear, amiright?] set. Uses two Elite Quick Strike modules. Seeing as the invitation declined any carrying of weapons, she wouldn't bring any.
But... If she decided to take one for the heck of it, their weapon of choice would be their trusty Combuster -- which is the first item they ever made into a 5*.

Appearance:
Helm: Emberbreak Helm -- Accessories:

  • Heavy Headband
  • Volcanic Glasses
  • Heavy Com Unit
  • Volcanic Scarf

Armor: Emberbreak Armor -- Accessories:

  • Flame Aura
  • Would bring their Volcanic Parrying/Side blades, but weapons are not allowed

Personality:
Quite relaxed when it comes to anything but Crowns and Energy -- in which she is very prudent. This often leads to the odd internal-struggle of "Oh, I should buy that and sell it for more later" followed by "Ahhh... But then I'd have to sit around killing burning undead hoards for hours..." -- a debate that is often not settled until she realizes too much time has passed to make enough cr to Auction off the item she wanted to profit off of. Seeing as this is a party, a relaxed, if not silly nature should be expected. Expect puns. Lots of puns.

Interesting Facts/Great-change Backstory:
Ember is a perfectionist by nature, and a collector of gear to boot. This led to her being extremely poor throughout her climbing through the Knight-ranks, but has resulted in a vast arsenal of weapons. This resulted in good reflexes across the board, and great versatility in their use of weaponry. They do, however, choose to focus on swords, as they are "More Straightforward". This desire for a straightforward weapon carried through to their personality, leaving their comments usually brutally honest, and with little to no filter.
Despite their great interest in profits, Ember didn't party up with other knights until after they had become a Vanguard. And even then, it's a rarity for them to come to group-hunts. Their preference to Soloism is more to avoid quibbles over how loot should be distributed should a party member fall behind than an avoidance of the people themselves, however; so there is no social anxiety to be found.
If Ember becomes bored, she may start up random conversations using unorthodox topics to anyone and everyone around her.

Ember is sitting at her usual chair across from the Auction House in her Guild Hall when the invitation arrives. She takes it lazily, and unfolds it to scan over its contents before sitting back down.
After reading, she sets it down onto the table, and looks across the room.
"Dinner is served."
"Awards are presented."
"Special Surprise!"

The three mentally-highlighted statements float in her head for a moment, before she clarifies the translation of the three in her head.
"Free food, save expenses."
"Gain Awards -- possible value."
"Large reward possible -- large value."

"Huhuhu.... HUHUHUHU.... HAHAHAHAHAHAAHAH! I'm not sure what kind of mailing-address mistake these guys made... But they'll probably regret it when their entire food-supply runs out!"

She then points to no one in particular, in fact, it would be quite accurate to say she simply stood up and pointed at the wall.

"Prepare yourselves, "Silver Elites"! 'Cause you're gonna need to be on your toes to keep up with MY appetite!"

She then stuffs the invitation into her pocket and makes a mad dash for her Pod, leaving her chair flipped over the table.

Mon, 12/22/2014 - 08:37
#4
Critzer's picture
Critzer
Ummm

Well i added the weapons because thats what she uses, doesnt mean she'll take them.... right?

Mon, 12/22/2014 - 09:03
#5
Thinslayer's picture
Thinslayer
Why not.

Name: Madam Inquisitor Winter Grey
Loadout: Tome of Rage, Saintly Silver Amulet, expensive silk dress, fancy high heels
Appearance

Personality: Winter Grey is an enigma. She seems like a much warmer person than she actually is; while she approaches people with displays of respect and generosity, deep down, she really couldn't care less about them. Despite her antisocial personality, she is quite perceptive and good at reading the thoughts and intentions of those around her. As the Lieutenant of the Spiral Inquisition, she has become adept at both managing the agents under her command and at performing "jobs" of her own. Those in the know would do well to fear her.

Most stories would make this woman a villain, but in reality, she's a bit more complicated than that. The reason she became an Inquisitor to begin with is because she was interested in getting the truth and seeing justice meted out to the amoral. She strives to see an ideal world where people could govern themselves, a world that would make her job unnecessary.

One that she knows she may never live to see.

Biography: Psychologists are at a loss for explaining Lady Grey's behavior. Her past is nothing unusual; her upbringing was pleasant and educational, both of her parents are still alive and well, and she has had no major life events to speak of. Her enemies, while numerous, are nothing she can't handle, and she has enough friends to keep her sane and positive. Secretly, Lady Grey wishes she had a tragic backstory so she could blame her morally questionable behaviors on it.

Mon, 12/22/2014 - 18:23
#6
Hexlash's picture
Hexlash
A Wolver's Purpose

Oh dang. I didn't think I'd have to personally say it, but Ember and Winter Grey are accepted.

Tue, 12/23/2014 - 01:36
#7
Hexlash's picture
Hexlash
A Wolver's Purpose

In case it was immediately clear from the OP, there is but one day left to submit apps. After that I will begin writing.

(The date was set as such, because I will not be present for the next 10 days after tomorrow.)

Tue, 12/23/2014 - 03:01
#8
Topogaming's picture
Topogaming
Tragic Backstory

Name: Cross? Idk.

Loadout: Fully geared in Dusker armour, with a Grand Flourish by his side.

Appeareance: He's young, around twenty, but with grey hair. He rarely takes off his armour, so therefore not many know of his scars, reminders from his abused childhood. Therefore, it makes him very wary of people who look friendly, because.

Personality: Always suspicious of people who seem nice, fearing they have bad intents. Acts tough, but once he knows someone's true intent (Being friendly etc.), he will be very protective of them. A.K.A Cute and cuddly on the inside.

Biography: He had a very abused childhood. His parents were always on *dust*, and therefore was crazed and always beat Cross up. He has a brother, but his brother escaped from their parents.

Tue, 12/23/2014 - 04:52
#9
Davjo's picture
Davjo
Heh, my inspirational ingame-mail worked!

Silver Elites? I hardly knew 'em, atleast since I am now stuck with Gold Novas.
Inside jokes aside, here's my app:

Name: Davjo

Loadout: I wear the Moonstone Chapeau (With a Polar Com Unit and Shadow Party Blowout) and Moonstone Tabard (with a Moon Crest and a Shadow Cat Tail) alongside a True Love Locket as a trinket. Since weapons are not allowed, I don't think they have to play an important role, but I would usually be equipped with a Triglav, a Hail Driver and a Grim Repeater. I would have a Crest of Almire as a shield.

Appearance: Rather young (16), Vacant Eyes and Lavender personal color. The voice sounds rather "neutral", so it's hard to tell what gender I am. Due to some kind of mystical/mythical influence, the left arm morphed into some kind of green arm with only 3 fingers each, no thumbs, able to do photosynthesis. With the help of the mineral Dark Matter, this is able to morph into a shadow claw with 3 fingers and a thumb, useful when disarmed in fights. Reversing back needs Valestone though, and both processes take up quite a lot of those minerals to simply produce the energy to transform said arm. The gloves have crescent moon symbols on them.

Personality: Friendly most of the time and also calm-minded, although easily angered if someone is threatening nature. Fearless in fights and will try to help friends and teammembers at all costs. Hostile beasts like wolvers that attack you on sight do not count for threatening nature, it's a measure of self-defense. Also has an affinity to the moon, nature and dark, cold things. And prays to the moon every night.

Bio: Still after a couple of years, this knight's identity has yet to be revealed. People assumed that I was male since I sounded like that and my arm was shadowy due to an incident while fighting The Swarm, but since another accident with intensified materials like Valestone a few characteristics changed, such as the shadow arm suddenly being an arm of nature or the neutral voice. Some of these mysteries have yet to be solved.

.

Sitting somewhere like usual, waiting for things to happen (like more photosynthesis), Davjo's Spiral News Feed suddenly gave a few beeps. "Another guildinvite for sure...", she thought, but a closer look revealed an invite to some kind of party. "An... invitation? How am I this honored to get an invite to a party of a reputable group?" Reading the mail carefully, she decides to simply go to the party, knowing that she has nothing to do on Christmas Eve anyway.

Tue, 12/23/2014 - 12:57
#10
Liminori's picture
Liminori
The Ice Queen

Name: Altria

Loadout: Old War Katana (Details in bio) Valkyrie Helm + Armor

Appearance: Valkyrie wings, Green eyes, Shoulder Length Brown Hair

Personality: Exerts a feeling of Dominance- Often times being mean to be nice, Not exactly a good reputation for being nice, but is truly nice on the inside.

Bio: Altria was raised in a. . . Somewhat Priveledged family- Thus distancing herself from friends due to others mooching or trying to get some fortune of their own. Fools. As a family tradition, the best of the children recieved the "Locust Blade" in a competition to see who the best was.
Ms. "Satsuki" (Still Altria) won through sheer force and dominance, of course. The Locust Blade was passed down, father to father to mother to father.
As a rule, any owner of the Locust Blade must have a child to continue the tradition. The Locust blade was a weapon from the Morai War (Old War, Old news) and thus has an ancient, but new look to it- due to the countless times it's been fixed, rebuilt, reitterated. Thankfully the same materials were used. In the end, it ends up looking something like the Nikana. Ever since Altria recieved the Locust Blade, she's been travelling the clockworks ever since.
~~~
"Special suprise. . . I don't like the sound of that. I may just have to supervise this, lest things go wrong. Next, Weaponry is not permitted, if it is found, you will be removed from the premises. If they knew me at all, they'd know me and my Locust are inseperable. We're getting in there, one way or another, whether it be by dominance, or stealth. . . What if I gave them the key to my sheath-case?"
---
Now while I must admit I had cold feet in submitting this app, you really can't deny that we really need some dark cold humor.
What? Don't you give me that Icy stare! I spent all night thinking up these Ice packed puns!
Cool it!

So. . . Question. If you have the parts to assemble a weapon, would that count AS a weapon?

Tue, 12/23/2014 - 13:38
#11
Hexlash's picture
Hexlash
A Wolver's Purpose

Cross, Davjo and Altria are all accepted.

@Liminori, well, what did you mean by the key to the sheath-case? Is it the same thing as having the parts to assemble the weapon?

Also! If it isn't too much trouble, I would request that all characters choose a number between 1 and 20. It's okay if you don't, or if you choose the same as someone else, but don't choose it purposely.

Tue, 12/23/2014 - 13:40
#12
Thinslayer's picture
Thinslayer
6

Six is my lucky number.

Tue, 12/23/2014 - 13:58
#13
Ember-Break's picture
Ember-Break
36 is my lucky number. After that is 6. DANG IT THIN. ; -;

I choose my second-luckiest number that's within the boundaries... 13.

Tue, 12/23/2014 - 14:47
#14
Colray's picture
Colray
never noticed this

Name: Chris Eden

Loadout: Divine Mantle, Divine cowl(usually keeps it down.), Wise Owlite shield, Owlite ring(description in bio), hidden blade sheathed under one arm.

Appearance: image

Personality: Chris is cynical, and not without the sarcastic remark here and there. He has an analytical mind, which is why he serves as a tactician. He tends to pick out what's wrong with an idea rather than supporting it.

Bio: As said before, he is a tactician. And when there is not any battles going on, then he likes to research owlites. Ever since he found out about the culture he wondered how a seemingly highly intelligent race was able to lose and get wiped out by the Kat Klan. During his research he discovered a specialized ring which can cast a small elemental energy bolt when he snaps his fingers.

Number: 2

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Bills, requests... oh what's this?

Chris tilted his head and picked out the envelope, it was addressed to him from the Silver Elites. He frowned and tried to think, when did he meet a member of the silver elites?

He withdrew his knife and slit open the envelope, pulling out the bit of parchment. He unfurled it and read the paper.

Interesting, I think I will attend, see what its about.

He folded up the invitation and slipped it into his pocket.

Tue, 12/23/2014 - 15:00
#15
Hexlash's picture
Hexlash

Chris is accepted!

Tue, 12/23/2014 - 18:23
#16
Liminori's picture
Liminori
@Hexlash

A key to the sheath/case- Exactly what it sounds like, think of it as a precaution to prevent the sword from A: Being Stolen
B:Being drawn unnesseccarily.
This is also a downside, because without the key, the sword cannot be drawn, and thus rendered useless other than being a showpiece.
Unless you count blunt weapons.

The dissassembling and reassembling parts is completely unrelated, Think of it as a "What if I had a mechanic with a bagfull of parts" question.

16.

Tue, 12/23/2014 - 18:58
#17
Critzer's picture
Critzer
8

Gr8 story m8, i r8 it 8/8.

Tue, 12/23/2014 - 19:02
#18
Hexlash's picture
Hexlash

@Liminori, oh, I'll go with the key, then.

Wed, 12/24/2014 - 01:30
#19
Davjo's picture
Davjo
Number.txt

I'll go with 15

Fri, 12/26/2014 - 15:23
#20
Liminori's picture
Liminori
cough

Progress?
Then again, I'm in no place to speak... *nervously glances away*

Fri, 12/26/2014 - 22:07
#21
Hexlash's picture
Hexlash

I'll be back in a week or so.

Mon, 01/05/2015 - 18:51
#22
Hexlash's picture
Hexlash
Only the Beginning

(OOC: I stayed up way too late to finish this today, but it's totally worth trolling you guys. If there are any typos, please point them out. Also, there is a slight chance that this piece is subject to change, because I'm laying down a framework for the entire story at 2. AM. How am I trolling you, you ask? I'm offline for the next week, so that's that. Also, that part there? It totally means what you think it does. Oh, right. Enjoy! -Hexlash)

1/14(?)

As Critzer arrived at the Silver Elites' Guild Hall, a woman standing by the entrance with a large lavender ball gown waved to her, dark blues eyes beaming.

"Hello there, is this the Gathering of the Aspirers?" Critzer asked, presenting her invitation. The somewhat aged woman didn't bother to glance at it and instead clasped Critzer's outstretched hand.

"Welcome, welcome! My name is Bella, please, head on in and make yourself comfortable, deary. It's getting dark out." Bella ushered Critzer in before she could ask any questions. Critzer supposed there wasn't much to worry about, considering how open Bella seemed.

When she entered, she took a moment to take in the lavish amenities and luscious accommodations. It was unexpected, and left her a bit bewildered.

"Greetings." Critzer turned her attention towards a woman with a silk dress and a tome head lightly in her arm. "I too, took a moment to appreciate the extravagance of Bella's establishment. Truly remarkable. I am Madam Winter Grey." Winter Grey smiled politely.

"Oh, hey, I'm Critzer! Do you know exactly what this gathering is about?" Critzer asked. Winter Grey shook her head.

"I am afraid not. Perhaps one of the other guests know," she suggested, stepping back. Critzer nodded and walked on, curious.

A knight in Dusker armour walked out of a hallway to the left, glancing behind him before noticing Critzer, who decided to ask him if he knew anything.

"Hello, what's your name? I'm Critzer," she said, approaching him. The knight seemed to hesitate a moment.

"I'm Cross, what do you want?" he asked flatly. Critzer faltered at the reply, and her eyes narrowed.

"I want to watch the world freaking burn, but I guess you can't help me with that." Critzer grinned cheerfully and pushed past him.

Critzer noticed the groups of people chatting but decided not to bother asking them. The guild doors suddenly came to a close, and she whirled around. One of the guests, the one who had just entered, carried a katana at her hip. Behind her, Bella sealed the door, signaling the arrival of all the guests.

Critzer wondered why a guest was permitted weaponry, subtly tracing her fingers over her concealed Magma Driver. After a quick look around the lavish Guild Hall, she decided to try and ask Bella again, but she had already disappeared again. Instead Critzer went to speak to the newest guest. When she approached the woman clad in Valkyrie, she took a closer glance at the weapon, noticing that it was bound to its scabbard.

"Hi, I'm Critzer, who are you?" she asked.

"Hello. My name is Altria."

"Just wondering, how come you've got a weapon?" Critzer asked, pointing to the katana.

"I settled an agreement with the hostess, Bella. You shouldn't concern yourself over the matter." Altria replied with disdain.

"Oh, okay," Critzer said, not particularly offended. "By the way, do you have any idea what this-"

"Dinner is ready, dear guests! Please make your way into the dining hall," Bella called, standing beside the hallway to the right.

"Let us make our way to the dining hall, you may resume your query there," Altria said, making her way over to where Bella was standing. Critzer nodded happily and followed.

When they arrived, they chose a round table nearest the door and sat down. A knight with an intriguing verdant, clawed arm entered the dining hall, another guest thanking them as he walked over to another table. The knight with the clawed arm walked over to their table.

"Hey, I'm Davjo, mind if I ask your names and perhaps sit here?" Their voice further intrigued Critzer.

"I'm Critzer." Critzer jabbed herself with her thumb.

"I am Altria, and I accept your request; you may sit, Davjo." Davjo pulled out the cushioned chair and sat down.

"Nice arm. I bet you kill lots of people with it," Critzer commented. Davjo flexed the claws.

"No, I definitely don't kill people," they replied with a nervous laugh. Altria cleared her throat.

"I've seen more interesting things. What was it that you wanted to ask, Critzer?" Altria said.

"I was wondering-"

"Come and get it!" a man clothed in a chef's attire yelled out. He lifted silver lids off appropriately silver containers which lined a silk clothed long table, filling the hall with scrumptious smells.

Critzer sighed angrily, but rose with the others to go retrieve their food.

A girl with Emberbreak armour rocketed to the buffet table, grabbing several plates which she filled to the brim with selections from the first half of the containers. As the line began to form, the girl returned to her table, adjacent Critzer's table and began chatting amiably with the cook.

"Are you sure you're not actually a crook? Because this food is scandalous!" the girl joked, quite loudly. Several guests groaned, but the cook gave out a hearty laugh as he left to refill the depleted food stock.

After everyone at Critzer's table had finished gathering food, Critzer was finally able to finish her question.

"Does anyone know what exactly this Gathering of Aspireres is about?"

The gluttonous girl, who was just walking back from the buffet table with another armload of plates, turned around to face their table upon hearing Critzer's question.

"I don't know, but I think it should be called the Gathering of Acquirers! Look at all this stuff," she cried joyfully, before setting her plates down and seating herself.

"Anyway," Davjo said, "I myself have never heard of them. Not sure how they know about me, that's for sure."

"Nor I," Altria added. "I doubt they would invite just anybody, though." She gave a curt glance in Critzer's direction.

The rest of the dinner passed somewhat uneventfully.

By the time all the guests had completed their meals, Bella had set up the staging area. Critzer was one of the first people there. When everyone had settled down, Bella proudly turned on the mic, behind her, three objects on a silver clothed table were obscured by thick, black silk coverings.

"I am so happy that you all came out to the annual Gathering of Aspirers."

Critzer couldn't resist raising her hand. Bella noticed and threw back a tiny nod and smiled.

"Some of you may not have heard of the Gathering of Aspirers. However, I know you are all anxious for the awards, as I am, so I shall present them before I give you the whole speech." Bella's navy eyes seemed to twinkle with an overworldly glow.

"The Gathering of Aspirers is a special event I host to celebrate the prospective future that you all have. The potential of each and every one of you is undeniable, and I want to encourage you to strive for the stars. Though it may not seem so at first glance, you are capable of so much and more. You have proven this in ways that you may have noticed, or not, but in the end, it doesn't matter. You are all so special, and so important, to me and the community you reside in. I wanted to honour those commitments and contributions in an event where you could see just how amazing you are. Those around you have watched you grow and develop, whether directly or not. You all provide so much to our community, and I had to show you just how amazing you all truly are." The glow in Bella's eyes seemed to recede, as if she'd returned from some daydream.

"And one day, we might just be able to return to Isora, with your help." Bella finished with a little huff. "Oh dear, I've been babbling before the speeches! Back to the awards.

With the largest smile Critzer thought was possible for Bella's petite face, she reached behind her, grasping one of the coverings.

"Presenting..." Bella yanked the cloth off, revealing a sword, forged of pure sun silver, glistening brightly under the lights. The design was reminiscent of the honour blades, but was far superior in terms of craftsmanship. "The Silver Sword, to Cross! Come on, come up!"

Though Bella hadn't specified why exactly Cross, who had stood up, received the award, she joined the round of applause, not entirely recalling her earlier encounter.

"Good job, Boss!" Critzer leaned over to Davjo, who had sat next to her and whispered, "that's what his name was, right?"

Davjo leaned back and replied, "Cross is his name, he's a great guy."

"Good job, Coss!"

Cross received the sword and somewhere, Critzer thought she heard, "Criss-Cross."

Bella gestured toward the crowd, and the applause died as Cross took the mic. Bella shuffled off to the back, behind Critzer, who had sat at the back.

"I don't know what to say," Cross began. Despite wearing a helmet, his proximity to the mic caused his voice to boom outward, making it seem like there was something behind Critzer. "When I received the, uh." Cross paused. "The invitation, I really had no idea, that I'd be standing up here, with this magnificent sword and -"

There was a piercing screech, and the lights flashed before going out with a crackle. Critzer was up on her feet instantly. Suddenly, Critzer felt like the floor had shifted and she was falling toward the stage. There was yelling and shouting, some of it coming from Critzer. Something forced past Critzer and she fell of balance, there was a shatter of some vases. She thought she saw Davjo's arm flash outward, but the entire ground shifted again, moving backward. The next few moments were extremely confusing.

"Hey!"

A clatter as some things or people fell.

"Get away fro~"

"~ands off!"

There was a burst of magical energy that surged out from directly ahead of Critzer.

"Arg!"

"~at's goi~"

There was a bloodcurdling scream, whoever it belonged to was unidentifiable.

"Stop, som-"

Critzer reached for her Magma Driver, but then shouted, "Dangit!" It was pointless to try and fire in the darkness.

"Get out of the~"

"Ah!"

There was metallic groan that shook the area, sending vibrations throughout Critzer's body. Then something collided with the ground. The floor shifted sharply upward, and Critzer toppled backward, someone falling on her.

The ground creaked and slowly settled back down, still slightly tilted. There was a snap and crack, and the lights came back on.

The stage was in ruin, a chandelier had fallen, colourful crystal shards laid strewn across the ground, some of the walls had bent. Everyone was on the ground, some moaning, but quite rapidly, everyone was back on their feet.

A man quickly pushed himself off Critzer and helped her up. It took a second before Critzer noticed a blade extending from underneath one of his sleeves. The tip was bloodied.

"I knew something was going to happen," Altria said. The wall which Critzer was against was the only leading back into the Guild Hall lobby left standing, the other had been torn off, leaving a gaping hole into the Clockworks.

A massive conglomerate of metal was piled just outside, next to the gaping hole. Predominantly, one of the Clockwork's titanic gears had toppled over, broken and shattered.

Critzer gasped, being the first to see it.

The bottom half of the chef was visible underneath the collapsed heap, with the Silver Sword protruding from his chest.

Sun, 12/28/2014 - 01:00
#23
Colray's picture
Colray
interesting!

I like where this is going, especially because of how my character is presented. I look forward to your next chapter, even if it is in a week or two.

Sun, 12/28/2014 - 01:13
#24
Ember-Break's picture
Ember-Break
NO. BAD. MOAR. PL0X.

I'm going on vacation for the entirety of the week too! But the fact that I know that when I return there won't be more to that FRIGGEN CLIFF-HANGER...

BAD. NO. NO VACATION. MOAR.

The reader within me loves this, but now starves for more.
I'm going to bed. ; -;

Also, it's too bad that the other two things weren't revealed. I bet they were expensive. Wonder how much they'd go into the AH for...

Sun, 12/28/2014 - 01:25
#25
Thinslayer's picture
Thinslayer
Good story!

This story displays the kind of high-quality writing I've come to expect from Hexlash. Keep it up, man! ;)

He's better than I am, that's for sure. Time to take notes and copy him. >:)

Sun, 12/28/2014 - 02:48
#26
Liminori's picture
Liminori
ohoho

I'm liking this so far.

keep it up
--
edit: Crotzer
lel

Sun, 12/28/2014 - 08:14
#27
Hexlash's picture
Hexlash
I totally needed to sign off in my post.

@Everyone, thank you immensely! Your kind words really mean a lot, and it drives me to keep writing :) Also, I didn't mention earlier, but I would extremely appreciate criticism, or any constructive comments, thanks again!

@Colray, I'm glad! I'm also surprised you like how your character is, though, since you've only seen a small amount of him =P

@Ember, don't worry, as much as I know I probably won't have time, I'll be squeezing in as much writing as I can. However, I hope you won't be disappointed by what comes out next. Oh wait, you shouldn't be, nevermind. >:3

@Thinslayer, daw, I'm not that good! But I totally agree that we learn from each other; I know I have, from you. c:

@Liminori, you have no idea how many times I typed Crotzer. XD

Edits were made, that one Crotzer, and I changed this part: "...not entirely recalling her earlier encounter." It had revealing or something before. Also, layed is not a word ._.

Sun, 12/28/2014 - 09:15
#28
Critzer's picture
Critzer
....

Other then the fact that the only typos in there from what i saw where my name.... I think it was GREAT :D

I especially love ("I want to watch the world freaking burn, but I guess you can't help me with that." Critzer grinned cheerfully and pushed past him.)

Keep up the good work.

Crotzer
Critzee
Crizter
Critzer
^See, with my real name, this happens all the time.... Its pretty sad and funny at the same time.

Sun, 12/28/2014 - 10:55
#29
Davjo's picture
Davjo
Fancy

Your story looks interesting so far, keep up the good work Hexlash!
Also, I assume I'm starting out with my left arm being the shadow-claw instead of the nature-hand thing? Sounds fine to me.

I hope you'll bring lots of ideas when you are back from your vacation.

Sat, 01/03/2015 - 09:18
#30
Topogaming's picture
Topogaming
OMG

The story is SO good. The character interaction, the langauge in it. Wow. I am blown away, Hex. Keep it up. (Mind giving me a few pointers on how to write so good? huehuehuhue.)

Btw, did Cross just die out? Just like that? Nuuuuuu

Tue, 01/06/2015 - 17:01
#31
Hexlash's picture
Hexlash
Oh! Now the title makes sense.

(OOC: I apologize. I would have gotten more written, sooner, but my Google Doc app failed on me in the middle of the week. For some reason, it was stuck, loading forever. Anyway, technical difficulties aside, I hope that the format I'm going for won't bore everyone. I just feel like it is a part of the experience of piecing everything together.

@Critzer, I'm so sorry! ;_; Critzer is not something that my phone autocorrected, but I fixed them all now. I'm also surprised you liked that quote. I wasn't sure if it was too blunt, but I guess it fit perfectly. :D

@Davjo, I re-read your app, and realized that the nature arm isn't clawed. Oh well, close enough. I also suppose you could say I got ideas from my vacation, considering some descriptions were taken straight from what I saw, there. xD

@Topo, wow, thank you! I'm stunned by your kind words, and I'm mostly overjoyed that it actually was something you enjoyed! I would totally give you pointers, but if I were to start, I might as well right a whole different thread on writing. If I were to give you a quick summary, uh, I'd probably say that spending 90% of the time writing choosing the best word and 10% developing plot is bad. I'd also have to say that understanding a character really well allows you to build their interactions. I'm really glad all the character apps I received had such unique and express-able personalities. Mainly, I try to emphasize the character, and build the world around how they would react in any situation, but that's awfully ambiguous, isn't it. xS

Really, all those quotes about writing are true, but I think you write the best when you enjoy what you're writing. When I wrote the first major conflict point, I was actually rushing through it, because I was excited to find out what happened (I'm regretting rushing through it a bit, though). But my biggest, most quintessential advice I can give is this: Write drunk, edit sober. Also, about your character... you tell me. =P

@YouThree, Thank you! <3

Edits were made to the first story post. Also, to clarify, I use "~" to show one piece of text being heard, and another cutting in while that first piece is still being heard. Basically, everything is being said at once, and the "~" shows the end of whatever was audible at the time, not to be confused with "-" which I use to show someone ending their speech abruptly, most likely as a result of an interruption. ANYWAY, enjoy! ~Hexlash)

2/14(?)

Ember knew she had found the right place when she spotted the woman adorned in a expensive lavender gown.

"Hi, I'm Ember, but I'm guessing you are... rich! That's a great dress, where'd yah get it? Looks like there's tons of dyed Miracle Cloth, and is that some Silverweave?" The woman covered her mouth as she laughed. Ember pulled out the invitation.

"My, you're quite the eager one, Ember. I suppose you could call me rich, but my name is Bella. Please, come in, perhaps we could have some nice conversation once I have a moment," Bella said, waving Ember in.

When she passed into the Guild Hall, Ember's jaw dropped. Some mailing mistake. The Guild Hall was thrice the size of even the largest guilds she had seen. The usual metal floor had been overlaid with a thin marble finish. The normal metal walls were instead covered with elegantly chosen designs, with a sophisticated colour palette of auburn, silver, whites and blacks.

There were several large passages lit with lamps made of silver, curved in a half spiral around the light, with small shards of every mineral creating a colourful, crystalline cup beneath the light. These passages extended to the left and right of the spacious lobby.

Opposite the front door, there was another set of large doors, which had silver handles and a small design on the centre of each door, made of even more mineral shards, set in a circle around a silver, four pointed star. The words, "Gathering Hall," were written in large, golden letters hung above the door.

Around the edges of the lobby, there were glass tables with large plush couches around them, and vases of flowers set meticulously on top. Most of the couches were empty, but a few of the earlier guests were lounging on some, chatting, as others meandered about. In the center, there was a small fountain, surrounded by some small, clothed tables, upon which sat a variety of refreshments.

"This is better than Christmas!" Ember said, gleefully spinning and twirling to the tables. She picked up a small ceramic plate, which had silver trimming swirling around the edges.

As she began piling tiny cakes with cut cubes of Forbidden Fruits sitting on top, onto the disappointingly small plate, a woman in a crimson silk dress approached, grabbing the crystal wine glass and filling it with punch.

"Hello, would you like a glass?" she asked, sweetly. Ember dutifully inspected the dress, while she added opened Rocky Cores to another plate. It made sense that such a place would have equally wealthy guests.

"That'd be great! My name's Ember, where'd you get that dress, same place as Bella? Ooh, nice shoes!" Ember saw the tome and wondered if she could perhaps purchase it from her. The woman set the tome down, and filled a cup for Ember, who nearly dropped it when the woman handed it to her as an unfortunately result of having her hands full.

"My name is Madam Winter Grey."

"Is it because you think Winter's grey-tuh?" Ember giggled. Winter Grey flashed a smile and shook her head, but gave no reply

For a moment, they stood together, and Ember watched the other guests. Some weren't as expensively dressed, but it was still evident mostly everyone was fairly well off. There was a knight with what appeared to be a large green arm, sitting on a couch with another guest, who was holding and inspecting the arm. A knight in Dusker armour wandered down the leftmost passage.

Ember looked up at the vaulted ceiling, where a chandelier made of at least a hundred crystal shards, casted a rainbow glow around the ceiling. The bottom part of the chandelier had the same silver spiral design as the lamps, except far larger and with smaller lights running along the edges like golden studs that filled the large room with a warm, luxurious air.

"What political views do you think the Strangers hold?" Ember asked casually. Winter Grey was silent for a moment.

"I believe from their passive disposition, generous acts, as well as their persistence on Cradle, that they possess a political architecture unknowable to us. We could always ask them, I suppose." Winter Grey took a sip of the fruity punch. Ember looked back down from the ceiling, watching as a new guest arrived. Winter Grey left her glass, retrieved her tome, and departed as Ember was about to ask about whether or not gremlins had religious views towards their king.

Ember carefully made her way to one of the glass tables, nearly dropping her glass of punch several times. She set the overflowing plates and glass of punch down and began eating. She could probably get used to this.

For a moment, she pondered how many crowns of food she had consumed this far. Perhaps she could sneak a few of the snacks out, seeing as no one else was taking much, and that there was still a fair it left.

Mostly admiring the free food and the architecture, Ember occasionally glanced at the guests. The knight came back out of the hallway, there was more talking, and the chef came out as well, but moved too quickly for Ember to try and talk to.

The guest that Ember had seen before approached her as she drained the last few drops from her glass. Her eyes were immediately drawn to the ring that adorned his finger.

"Had too much to eat?" he said, in a somewhat bored tone.

"Not at all!" Ember said, grinning. "I'm Ember."

"I'm Chris." He sat down beside Ember. "I saw you fixated on the light fixtures, do you know anything unique about them? Specifically the minerals," he asked, hands locked in front of him.

"Nope, they just look awesome. Maybe I could buy one. Speaking of which, that ring looks cool! Where'd you get it," Ember asked, and narrowing her eyes, she added, "and for how much?"

"It's a relic I uncovered. It is capable of firing bolts of elemental energy." He stood up. "I would totally just sell it for some extra cash." Ember sighed and shrugged.

"Well, it was was worth a shot. Get it? 'Shot', because the ring does that thing." Chris suppressed a smile as Ember waved her hand outward, imagining what the ring looked like in action.

"Dinner is ready, dear guests! Please make your way into the dining hall," Bella called, and Ember stood up as well, jogging over to where Bella had positioned herself.

The hallway went upward, and when she entered the dining hall, the marble floor gave way to a red carpet adorned with spiral patterns. The walls became dark, polished wood, which contrasted with the circular tables that filled the room, each covered with a stark white cloth embroidered with pearls. In front of the plush, white chairs that encircled each table, glinting, silver cutlery was set out, with a folded Miracle Cloth napkin.

On the far end, a long table, which nearly stretched the length of the room, had a line of silver containers perfectly aligned on its silken surface. A stack of plates sat at the right end.

Ember watched as two of the many tables were filled. She found it difficult deciding which one to join, before realizing that there wouldn't be enough room for her plates if she sat with others. She chose a table adjacent to the knight who had the cool arm, slightly disappointed discovering that it was attached to them; it didn't seem like she would be making any transactions today. The awards still held promise, though, and the free food was so worth it.

Ember looked around, waiting for the cook. Of the numerous tables, three were occupied, her own, the one next to her, and one near the food. The walls had abstract oil paintings, probably not worth much, and variously sized, prismatically cut rectangles of glass, clustered together between lamps. Shattered reflections of multiple colours glittered back at Ember.

"Come and get it!" the cook yelled. Ember was on her feet, in a mad dash to the table in seconds. The cook had barely removed all the lids from the silver containers before Ember arrived, heart fluttering from the culinary fragrances that exuded from the table. She grabbed a small stack of plates, larger versions of the ones that had been laid out for refreshments.

The silver containers were somewhat large, each housing an expensive delicacy, some of which originated from Isora and most native to Cradle. There was a heating unit underneath, composed of crushed Torchstones that tainted the bottom of the silver container with a suffused hue of crimson.

The first selection was that of Chromalisk tongues, grilled and garnished with trace amounts of warp dust. Onto the plate they went.

The fourth selection had Rock Salt infused with (Ember had to squint her eyes at the name plaque) "Isoran Essences". It was always good to try something new, or in this case old, Ember thought.

Nearly halfway down, at selection seven, Ember's plates were just about full as she added a fried snipe. As quick as she could manage, balancing all her plates, she advanced back to her table, just as the line began to form.

When she set down the food, the cook approached, smiling broadly.

"You've nearly cleared out everything! What an appetite, miss."

Ember grabbed a fork and took bites out as much as she could, overjoyed at each perfect combination of flavours that blossomed, tickled or even exploded in her mouth.

"Are you sure you're not actually a crook? Because this food is scandalous!" Ember said, when her mouth wasn't stuffed. The cook guffawed.

"I like you, but now I gotta refill those containers." The cook merrily walked out of the Dining Hall.

Just as the cook returned, Ember was up again, heading back to take from the other half of the selections.

Once at the very end of the buffet line, there was a small table identical to the one that had provided refreshment, so Ember fille herself another glass, throwing in a cake for good measure.

As she approached her table, one of the guests asked, "Does anyone know what exactly this Gathering of Aspireres is about?"

Ember turned around.

"I don't know, but I think it should be called the Gathering of Acquirers! Look at all this stuff," she replied, before shoving aside her stack of used plates to place down her new plates.

A little while into dinner, Bella came and joined Ember, though there wasn't much space for her, as Ember had predicted, Bella didn't seem to mind. She looked prideful, in fact.

"So, where were we, Ember?" she said, taking a small bite of the food.

"Your magnificent dress, Bella of the ball - gown!" Ember cringed as she said it. She had to admit that was a bad one.

"Ah, yes! One of my favourites. I wear it especially for this occasion. Bechamel assisted in its making, would you believe it."

Though they spent the rest of dinner speaking, Ember didn't recall much of it, more than anything, it was mainly Bella cheerfully explaining where everything came from, to Ember, much of it beyond Ember's financial range. It was curious to see the woman so passionate about the commodities she provided, but before Ember could question from where she acquired them all, Bella had to leave in preparation for the awards ceremony. Of course Ember didn't want to delay that, so she too was soon cleaned up and ready.

When Bella was ready, everyone was led back to the lobby and into the Gathering Hall, where the staging area was. The large doors were propped open, revealing the lavish interior.

The hall was gorgeous, the design similar, yet far more exuberant, than the Dining Hall's, albeit smaller. The same red carpet covered the floor, but the walls were once again metal, however, these metal walls were made of silver leaf, an intricate ripple design with mineral shard inlays trailing along the rivulets of ripples. A chandelier in the same fashion as the one in the lobby, but also smaller, hung prestigiously above the centre of the room.

There were two spacious rows of five chairs with velvet upholstery, facing a stage constructed of the same polished wood as the walls in the Dining Hall.

Ember chose a seat at the front, as close to the microphone sitting on the lectern as possible. Chris and Winter Grey sat adjacent to her.

The thing that drew Ember's attention the most was the table that was behind the lectern. It was clothed in Silverweave, and three large objects sat across its surface, obscured mysteriously by black silk coverings. Ember felt like a kid at waiting to receive their present on their birthday, giddy with excitement.

"Please, please, please let me win one," she whispered, eyes and fists clenched.

Bella took up position at the microphone.

"I am so happy that you all came out to the annual Gathering of Aspirers."

Bella looked over Ember's head and nodded.

"Some of you may not have heard of the Gathering of Aspirers. However, I know you are all anxious for the awards, as I am, so I shall present them before I give you the whole speech." Bella's blue eyes glinted, and she launched into a speech that Ember mostly tuned out, but the ending was something like, "And one day, we might just be able to return to Isora, with your help."

"Oh dear, I've been babbling before the speeches! Back to the awards," Bella said, flushed, but her beaming face was lit up brighter than a Combuster's charge.

"Presenting..." Bella dramatically yanked the silk covering off. Ember's eyes went wide and she drooled at the sight. She needed that sword. A heavenly silver blade, forged purely of the finest sun silver sat on a pedestal. It glowed in the light, each ornate detail engraved on its length merged seamlessly with its razor edge. Unlike the honour blades from which its design was based, this blade was astonishingly well crafted. Ember almost didn't catch who won it, thinking of what could possibly lie underneath the other coverings.

"The Silver Sword, to Cross! Come on, come up!" Slightly begrudgingly, Ember joined the applause. Why hadn't Bella said why he won? Did she miss that?

Ember took a deep breath. There were still two possible prizes, not to mention the big surprise from the invitation.

The guest in Dusker Armour made his way up, with Ember's envious eyes trailing after him.

"Good job, Boss!" someone from the back shouted. "Good job, Coss!"

Cross retrieved the sword from off its black pedestal.

"Chris, Cross, you guys have gotten me all tied up in jealousy!" Ember said. Chris looked over but didn't seem to register the joke.

Bella motioned outward and Ember stopped clapping. Cross took the microphone, as Bella slunk quietly off stage.

"I don't know what to say." Cross' voice boomed out, and Ember waved her fingers toward him, gesturing him backward.

"When I received the, uh." Cross paused. "The invitation, I really had no idea, that I'd be standing up here, with this magnificent sword and -"

There was a piercing screech, and the lights flashed before going out with a crackle. Alarmed, Ember looked around frantically, she thought she saw the green arm from that one guest behind her. Abruptly the floor shifted, and she felt herself moving forward, and she immediately grabbed a hold of her chair. She cried out in fear, joining the other voices in the room.

There was some movement behind her, and then her chair was shoved to the right, and Ember fell out, not wishing for her fingers to get crushed, she let go of the chair as a familiar scent hit her for a fraction of a second. She stumbled and hit the stage completely disorientated, she could hear someone else nearby. Just as she placed her hand onto the polished wood, the ground tilted again, in the opposite direction, but she managed to hold on.

"Ember," she heard over the confusion, and launched her hand out, grasping onto someone's smooth skin, but they let go. Whatever transpired afterward was greatly convoluted.

"Hey!" Ember shouted, as the other hand vanished.

"Let go," Ember heard a strained voice and then something seemed to fly past her.

"Hands off!"

Ember turned to the direction of the voice and saw a flare of magical energy fire off, briefly illuminating Chris' hand, along with moving silhouettes.

"Arg!"

"~going on?"

There was a bloodcurdling scream, whoever it belonged to was unidentifiable.

"~over here."

"Dan~"

"~ut of the way!" Ember thought she saw the verdant arm, glowing in the darkness again.

There was a crash like a thousand shards of glass.

"Ah!"

A titanic metal groan filled the air, rumbling deep in Ember's chest. She felt something hit the ground, and she was thrown off her feet, as the stage snapped behind her.

After a painstakingly long time, the ground seemed of level, mostly. The lights snapped back on after some electrical crackles.

Ember got up, moaning. The beautifully polished stage had its wooden platform split and splintered, the award table collapsed in the heap. A woman with a katana by her side gripped the wall and stood up, hand clenching the metal wall. The silver leaf had been shredded, dented and the wall itself bent.

The signature chandelier had fallen, scattering glinting shards across the dusty and torn carpet. In a way, it almost looked pretty, the way the silver had contorted and pierced the ground and how there was now a rainbow of crystal, strewn across the ground, Ember thought.

"I knew something was going to happen," the woman with the katana commented. Ember glanced at her, then back at the doorway. The both doors were nowhere to be seen, and only one of the walls leading in remained, with Chris helping up a girl leaning on it. The other wall was gone, replaced by a massive hole that peered into the Clockworks.

A large pile of wall debris, carpet, glass, minerals shards, wood and mainly metal sat alongside the hole. An abused, destroyed gear, with some teeth missing, cracks and bent metal, that was about a third the size of the lobby rested on the pile.

Ember heard someone gasp. Everyone began moving forward, as if in slow motion. They were all looking and advancing towards the debris.

"Oh Isora."

Ember nearly fainted when she saw the bottom half of the chef crushed underneath the pile, the magnificent Silver Sword crimson with his blood, proudly erected within his chest.

Mon, 01/05/2015 - 21:14
#32
Ember-Break's picture
Ember-Break
Oh God yes.

Dang this writing is good. Is there gonna be more perspectives? That'd be great. I'd love that.
I'm being 100% serious when I say that, just so you know; Hex, your writing style is enough to feed my reading-appetite for days.

Really looking forward to the next part.

Also... THE PUNS. I love THE PUUUUUUNS!

Tue, 01/06/2015 - 00:16
#33
Thinslayer's picture
Thinslayer

Full review posted below.

Tue, 01/06/2015 - 00:10
#34
Thinslayer's picture
Thinslayer
Review of Story Post 1/14 + 2/14

These stories are a prime example of quality writing. Hexlash starts us off with very evocative descriptions of the gathering hall. Each character we meet along the way is unique, and the first dimension of their traits show through clearly. This is where specific word choice comes into play, and man, is it well-done! "Critzer jabbed herself with her thumb." That right there conveys not only the exact hand motion she used, but even manages to convey a chunk of her character. It tells me that she's sort of an easygoing and somewhat proud kind of girl, the kind who's a badass and knows it. And Hexlash conveyed all that just by his word choice. Incredible.

The whole story is laced with this level of expertise. Deliberately bad puns, poetic settings, and evocative imagery mark this fanfiction as a veritable masterpiece.

That said, there are a couple minor flaws that Hex may want to pay attention to. While the deft word choices manage to convey a great deal about the characters, their descriptions are a bit scant, and it seems relatively little attention was paid to that. Considering that most forumers take the trouble to describe their character apps in detail, it's natural to think that the readers should already know by now what they look like and don't need to be reminded. However, truth be told, reading through character apps is a chore. I'd like to see Hexlash describe these characters in his own words as if the readers never saw them before in their lives, because for folks like me, we haven't seen them before.

There are also a few grammatical and literary stumbles here and there. When Chris sarcastically suggests to Ember that he would totally sell the ring for some extra cash, the speaker of that sentence was a little unclear at first. When Bella first goes over to Ember's table and is described as "prideful," it would have been better if the readers had been shown Bella's pride, rather than told. The impact would have been better. One of the more serious stumbles, however, was the way the aftermath of the accident was described, because even after reading it a couple times, I still found it more difficult to picture it compared to the way the same room was described before the accident. I still don't have a clear picture of the accident. Instead of describing the individual damages, perhaps a more generalized description would be better, since the readers are free to use their imagination.

Goodness gracious, the criticisms take up more space than the praises! Don't let that deceive you. The flaws are minor and barely noticeable to someone who is thoroughly enjoying the fanfiction. I should know - I enjoyed it so much that I could hardly find any flaws on the first readthrough.

It's your finest work to date, Hexlash, and a dang fine work it is.

Tue, 01/06/2015 - 14:38
#35
Liminori's picture
Liminori
I'd like to point something out.

Part two, and speculation already?
I guess I've gotten used to the treasure vault more than I thought! (Only been 3 years).

In the first part, It was mentioned that someone said "Criss Cross", wheras in the second part ember made a similar joke.
For me, this would mean that any of the people mentioned in the first part could have said Criss Cross except for Ember and Bella, of course.
And the statement Criss Cross would (In my case at least) be something in short of saying "Backstabber".
Hmmm.
A record of betrayal, perhaps?
Edit: I'm also really uncertain of what the numbers were for...
Bah- What am I stressing over?

Tue, 01/06/2015 - 15:11
#36
Ember-Break's picture
Ember-Break
@Liminori

The original mentioning of "Criss-cross" was within the context of Critzer thinking she heard someone say it (exact quote is "thought she heard"), meaning it was probably only one person who said it (i.e. Ember).

The second post is just the first post in Ember's eyes -- both mentioning of "Criss-Cross" or "Chris, Cross" were the same event.

Ember was saying it in the sentence to indicate how jealous she was of:

  • Chris' Flame-ring thing
  • Cross' gaining of the sword

Used in the sentance as "Chris, Cross, you guys have gotten me all tied up in jealousy!" The italicized areas are where the joke is at, but it's also a comment by Ember; Effectively making it part-pun, part-comment.

Tue, 01/06/2015 - 17:49
#37
Critzer's picture
Critzer
Hmmm

I had previously thought i had made a comment on here but i guess it didnt register.

To what you said about me liking that line, it could be taken sarcastically or it could not, nobody knows whether she was being sarcastic or not unless someone always takes someone seriously.

I like where this is going and i agree Thin on how to describe what the different characters are wearing I.E: "As critzer walked towards the hall, she heard her name be called out and turned. The bottom of her Hallow fur coat late to stop, making the rest of her coat shake even though she has already stopped turning."
But i think you'll be doin that anyways so (in all honesty i just wanted to have a reason to write something with heavy description >.>...... Sk is really the only mmorpg that ive been this involved in the aesthetics)

Thu, 01/08/2015 - 00:40
#38
Hexlash's picture
Hexlash
A Wolver's Purpose

@Ember, ah, so you see where this is going. Also, you have no idea. Besides the plot, the puns were the hardest thing to write, I actually had to be witty. It was difficult, but I'm glad the ones I made sufficed. XD

@Thinslayer, you're too kind! (But I feed off the lauding, so I've got that going for me). More importantly, the bad criticism is the best thing you could have given me. To be honest, I have never considered describing the characters, and now that I think about it, that has always been something I lacked. I'm not sure why, but I just don't describe people. Perhaps I feel like it's unnecessary or cumbersome, but I will most definitely take that into account form now on.

Another crime I admit guilty to: I don't fully read through my writing after it's done. I always have apprehension when I read my own writing, look at my own drawings, or anything like that, and I'm just too excited to release it, so that's the source of all the syntax faults. I promise I'll make a greater effort of editing and revising my work from now on, as to not impeded upon the story's flow.

I am also aware of the, in a sense, 'awkwardness' of that particular scene involving Bella's pride. I didn't feel the need to elaborate on the discussion that was exchanged between Bella and Ember, partly because the story was already starting to become too lengthy, and I felt as if the most involved concepts could just be stated at that point. I'll take into account producing a more generalized description, since in the end, it'll be easier on me, and more liberating for you guys. =P

As for the aftermath, I sympathize, because it was only until recently (recently being the time I released part two) that I had a clear vision of how things were situated.

One thing that I would like to bring up, however, is the format in which I've chosen to write the story. Keep in mind what I've hinted at, from the title of the story and everything.

@Liminori, I'm obligated to remain silent, for the sole purpose of increasing tension and suspense. >:3

@Critzer, I see what you mean, and I'll definitely strive to reproduce that kind of attitude again! Also, that description you wrote was marvellous, I completely follow what you mean, because of it. Frankly, I would expect a lot of other MMOs to use aesthetics as late game, but now that you mention it, only SK comes to mind. :o

@Everyone, thank you again! Unfortunately, the next part is currently in a tentative state, because my winter break is over, and I won't have time to sit in a car or a plane just writing. Instead I'll be stressing over some exams. I also got caught up writing stories for another medium, so I've got that bogging me down as well. But I want to make my promise that this fan fiction will be completed. I wonder what you guys are wondering is next...?

Thu, 01/08/2015 - 06:23
#39
Davjo's picture
Davjo
noice

It's all nice and perfect like usual, Hexlash. Keep up the good writing, even though you will be busy*!

*we will force you to write the next part :3

Thu, 01/15/2015 - 04:09
#40
Critzer's picture
Critzer
Ur killin me D:

Ur killin me Hex, nothing in the past week or so....

Mon, 01/19/2015 - 12:39
#41
Ember-Break's picture
Ember-Break
Thread Log: Day 11.

No sign of Hex. I've resorted to eating my shoe laces in replacement of his delicious Fan-Fic writing.

The taste simply cannot compare.

Don't know how much longer I can go on. I can hear the Finals coming around the corner again; some knights have already been taken by the first wave, I barely scraped by with one arm left. There isn't much time left.

Vog help us all.

Wed, 01/21/2015 - 04:57
#42
Liminori's picture
Liminori
Bump for the bump god

blood for the blood god

Sat, 01/24/2015 - 07:30
#43
Critzer's picture
Critzer
I am disappointed...

I am disappointed Hex.....

Sat, 01/24/2015 - 10:11
#44
Colray's picture
Colray
?

Again, Paaaaaaatieeeeeeenccceee

Even if he is taking longer than others, his work is very interesting to read. VERY interesting. Wet paint doesn't serve well as a bench to sit on.

Sat, 01/24/2015 - 11:10
#45
Critzer's picture
Critzer
Just teasin

Im just givin him a hard time :P

Mon, 05/18/2015 - 21:32
#46
Hexlash's picture
Hexlash
Who did it?

3/14(?)

The air was brisk as Madam Winter Grey approached the designated location. An elegantly dressed woman stood post by the door, face lighting up when she spotted Winter Grey.

"Hello! You're the first to arrive. Welcome," she said. Winter Grey smiled in response.

"Greetings, I am Madam Winter Grey."

"I am Bella, and I'm very glad that you came."

"Of course. The event sounds pleasant," Winter Grey replied.

"Well I do hope you enjoy yourself." Bella gingerly smoothed out some wrinkles on her elegant purple gown. Winter Grey looked into Bella's dark blue eyes.

Prideful, modest and truthful.

"Thank you." She walked past Bella, entering through the Guild Hall's large doors. The inside was immense and lavishly decorated, slightly to Winter Grey's surprise, but more notably, Winter Grey noticed that her invitation was not checked.

As Bella had said, Winter Grey was the first to arrive, leaving the massive room eerily void, despite its apparent capacity for at least forty people.

At the sound of voices, Winter Grey turned around as a guest arrived, face obscured by a Dusker Cap.

"Hello," Winter Grey said as he entered. "I am Madam Winter Grey."

"Oh, hey." The helmet obscured the guest's face, but Winter Grey could tell they were fairly young. "What?"

"I was just wondering what your name is." Winter Grey asked, narrowing her eyes at the knight's brusque reply.

"Cross."

"I see, thank you." Winter Grey grinned and walked off.

Wary, untrusting and curtly rude, Winter Grey thought. Something has or is irritating him.

A man in chef's attire walked out from a hallway to the right of the entrance, just as Winter Grey passed by.

"Heyo," he greeted.

"Hello there," Winter Grey replied. She was intrigued. "I am Madam Winter Grey. I assume we have the honour to be served by you this evening?"

"Indeed you do," the chef laughed. "It'll be a nice evening, I'm sure."

Confident, straightforward.

"Do you always cater for Bella?" Winter Grey asked.

"This is my first time here. As far as I know, this is the first gathering Bella has hosted in general." The chef shrugged. "Pardon, Miss Grey, I've got things to do." The chef briskly walked away, entering the hallway opposing the one he had come from.

Winter Grey turned around to see a new guest greeting Cross, who promptly walked off to one of the many couches as soon as possible. Winter Grey approached the guest, who spun around to face her, his yellow cloak sweeping.

"Hello, I am Madam Winter Grey."

"Winter Grey. That name sounds familiar," he said, narrowing his eyes. "I'm Chris, Chris Eden." He held out his hand to shake. Winter Grey took it with a nod. "Wait, you're a lieutenant for the Spiral Inquisition."

"Indeed," Winter Grey confirmed.

"I've met one of your agents," Chris said, frowning.

The two watched as another guest, wearing a Moonstone Tabard, entered. Winter Grey noticed Chris' intrigue at the green arm that the guest possessed. "Let's hope you don't need to interrogate anyone." Chris walked off to greet the newcomer.

Cynical, contemptuous perhaps, and curious.

As the two spoke, another guest arrived. She stood at the door momentarily, mouth gaping, eyes wide with awe. It was apparent that she herself revelled in vanity from the accessories that adorned her.

Impressed by wealth. Materialistic.

The girl joyously twirled to the centre of the room, where food was being provided, around a small fountain, sending her Hallow scarf spinning. Winter Grey spotted a crystal bowl filled with a bright orange juice and decided to have a glass, not entirely from thirst. She picked up one of the crystalline glasses set in a star shape adjacent the bowl and poured herself a cup.

"Hello, would you like a glass?" Winter Grey offered. She eyed the girl piling her plates with food. The girl ogled her expensive silk dress.

"That'd be great! My name's Ember, where'd you get that dress, same place as Bella?" Ember glanced down at Winter Grey's fancy high heels. "Ooh, nice shoes!"

Ember continued to ecstatically look over Winter Grey's apparel, even glancing at the tome that she carried, something whose importance warranted caution.

Greedy, yet somehow profitable.

Winter Grey gently placed her tome onto the table as she tolerantly filled another glass for Ember. Winter Grey handed the glass to her, not surprised to find that Ember was somehow able to hold the ridiculous amount of plates, in addition to the glass.

"My name is Madam Winter Grey."

"Is it because you think Winter's grey-tuh?" Ember seemed amused by her joke, so Winter Grey grinned and shook her head politely.

Dreadful wordplay. Coping mechanism, or perhaps a skewed sense of humour?

Winter Grey took a sip of the punch, which had a strong, but pleasant fruity flavour, and enjoyed the silence of the moment. Unfortunate, the moment didn't last too long.

"What political views do you think the Strangers hold?" Ember asked casually.
Caught off guard by the absurdly unprovoked question, Winter Grey took a second to think of an appeasing answer.

"I believe from their passive disposition, generous acts, as well as their persistence on Cradle, that they possess a political architecture unknowable to us. We could always ask them, I suppose."

Winter Grey finished the last of the punch as a new guest arrived. Not caring whether or not Ember noticed, she took the opportunity to depart, swiftly retrieving her tome and walking off.

The new arrival was decked in Hallow, and she unsurprisingly gaped at the lobby grandeur.

"Greetings," Winter Grey said. The girl's gaze dropped onto her. "I too, took a moment to appreciate the extravagance of Bella's establishment. Truly remarkable. I am Madam Winter Grey." Once again, Winter Grey mocked a smile.

"Oh, hey, I'm Critzer! Do you know exactly what this gathering is about?" Critzer asked. Winter Grey shook her head.

"I am afraid not," she replied. "Perhaps one of the other guests know." Winter Grey moved out of the way, allowing Critzer to move on. Critzer nodded slowly, looking into Winter Grey's eyes a moment more before she took off.

Curious, sweetly mannered, and yet there's something more.

Winter Grey watched as Critzer approached Cross, who had just re-entered the lobby from the leftmost hallway.

He looks troubled, she mentally noted.

Though she could only see the back of Critzer's Tailed Helm, she easily distinguished the sharp shift in tone, reading her body language like a book.

Unstable. How unfortunate.

It was dreary, having to converse with all the guests, and it quite frankly bored Winter Grey. She seated herself, watching the others commune and others banter. It came to the point when she began to wonder why she had come when the guest with the strange arm decided to approach her.

"Hello, you looked lonely," they said. Their tone betrayed neither a female nor a male tone. It was disorienting at first, but was not something that inhibited Winter Grey from reading into them.

"Hello," she replied, turning her head to face him.

"I'm Davjo, by the way," they said.

"Madam Winter Grey." The introductions were becoming more than redundant.

"You a friend of Bella's?" they asked.

"Not before today, but I am certain Bella is friends with us all."

"Mm. It seems strange doesn't it?"

Intrigued by the undisguised and open proposition, Winter Grey had to agree.

"It does," she said, locking her eyes onto Davjo's lavender ones. "You let on more than you should." With a subtle eye gesture, Winter Grey stood up, catching sight of Bella escorting a new guest into the hall.

Without needing to get close, it became immediately clear to Winter Grey the pride that exuded off of the Valkyrie clad arrival.

The woman turned to Winter Grey with judging green eyes.

"Hello." Her voice was cautious.

"Greetings, I am Madam Winter Grey," she replied, briefly catching a glance of Bella shutting the guild doors

"And I am Altria." The two ladies stood a moment more, before Altria flipped her brown hair and walked away.

Condescending and yet aware, Winter Grey thought with a smirk.

It wasn't long after that when Bella called the guests to dinner.

In the well furnished dining hall, with more than enough tables to accommodate everyone, Winter Grey was joined by Chris and Cross at her table. The insatiable girl in her heavily accessorized armour occupied a table solo, and the others occupied the table adjacent.

The dinner was everything that Winter Grey had expected, but through her idle and polite chatter, she observed.

"Where do you think all this came from?" Chris asked with a gesture to the lavish hall. Though the question was directed more towards Winter Grey, Cross shrugged indifferently.

Winter Grey paused her eating, tapping the sterling silver spoon against the silvergilt border along her plate.

"What do you think," she said with a smile that barely curled the tips of her lips.

"Because I ask questions to myself, not at all looking for answers." Chris rolled his eyes, but continued nonetheless. "Inheritance, I guess, but you'd think that someone so wealthy would be more prominent."

There was a glaring edge of suspicion in his voice.

"I do," was all of Winter Grey's input. The rest of the dinner went by with Cross wanting to say something, but maintaining his studious tough guy facade. The behavior both bothered and made sense to Winter Grey, so she gave him no more than an occasional glance.

The food and conversation held little appeal to Winter Grey, so when it came time for the awards, it was almost a relief.

A stunning interior greeted Winter Grey, who had fully expected it, when she entered the Gathering Hall with the others. Settling on a seat next to Ember at the front, Winter Grey turned her attention to the three obscured objects at the front.

With a hint of unrestrained excitement, Bella was up on the stage, microphone at the ready. Ember's pathetic plea, just audible above the background notice was no surprise to Winter Grey

"I am so happy that you all came out to the annual Gathering of Aspirers," Bella beamed, her eyes floated across the crowd
before focusing at the back. Bella nodded before resuming.

"Some of you may not have heard of the Gathering of Aspirers. However, I know you are all anxious for the awards, as I am, so I shall present them before I give you the whole speech." The queerest expression overcame Bella, as if she was not talking from herself but some place else, and for the first time in awhile, Winter Grey was geniunly curious.

"The Gathering of Aspirers is a special event I host to celebrate the prospective future that you all have. The potential of each and every one of you is undeniable, and I want to encourage you to strive for the stars. Though it may not seem so at first glance, you are capable of so much and more. You have proven this in ways that you may have noticed, or not, but in the end, it doesn't matter. You are all so special, and so important, to me and the community you reside in. I wanted to honour those commitments and contributions in an event where you could see just how amazing you are. Those around you have watched you grow and develop, whether directly or not. You all provide so much to our community, and I had to show you just how amazing you all truly are." The look eased off of Bella's face, but her jovial tone remained.

"And one day, we might just be able to return to Isora, with your help. Oh dear, I've been babbling before the speeches! Back to the awards."

Elated beyond belief, Bella reached for the edge of the cloth covering the first object. She looked rather frail standing next to it; a small woman in a fancy ball gown against a tall, imposing and ominously dark silhouette.

"Presenting..." Bella pulled the cloth off, with a flourish. A sword, literally glowing with its magnificent sat upon a pedestal.

Winter Grey was definitely impressed, but greatly unnerved by the unmasked flaunting of wealth. Her thoughts drifted back to Chris' query during the dinner.

"The Silver Sword, to Cross! Come on, come up!"

Now this was interesting. Bella hadn't explained her choice yet, prompting Winter Grey's suspicions to become further entrenched.

Handing out goods worth fortunes with scant reasoning.

As the others applauded, and commented on the award, Cross made his way up, unmistakably as shocked, perhaps even more, than the others. There was no chance he was faking his surprise.

"I don't know what to say." The microphone chose that moment to over amplify Cross' voice.

"When I received the, uh." Cross' reaction only confirmed what Winter Grey had suspected when she first met him. "The invitation, I really had no idea, that I'd be standing up here, with this magnificent sword and -"

A painful screech tore through the air, accompanied by a blinding darkness as all the lights shut off with an electric snap.

Winter Grey was already on her feet when panic began to proliferate across the guests.
The entire ground shifted suddenly, startling Winter Grey. Cries of fear joined the chorus of metallic groaning.

Winter Grey sensed movement, and then a thud as something landed. The floor shifted, and everything immediately fell in the opposite direction. Winter Grey lost her footing, and quickly said, "Ember." Winter Grey thruster her hand in the direction of the movement she had sensed and Ember's armour clad hand grasped hers. Balanced, Winter Grey let go.

"Hey!" Ember cried out, but Winter Grey ignored her, trying to make out the chaotic scene unfolding before her in the black darkness.

"~go!" Winter Grey turned to the sound, where Ember was, but it wasn't her voice. Something moved rapidly past her, and she stepped back. The thing hit the ground with a loud thud.

"~off!" A burst of light flashed off to Winter Grey's left, but when she looked, she saw only dark shapes fading back into the dark.

"What~"

"They're ov~"

"~on?"

"~ere!"

Winter Grey desperately tried locating the voices, when she saw a glint. A horrifying scream filled the air.

"Stop, someone's there," Winter Grey shouted, but only too late did she realize she did so in vain.

"~the way!"

Something fell onto the ground; it sounded like someone had thrown all the mirrors in Haven into a trash compactor.

"Ah!"

An impossibly loud groan reverberated the entire area, and then a crash filled Winter Grey's ears. Unable to have been able to keep her balance, she was tossed onto the ground. There was no way she could have balanced for long with high heels.

Slowly, the ground shifted back to some normalcy, and with it, Winter Grey got back onto her feet.

Electricity crackled and light came flooding back. The once majestic hall was in ruin, and people were scattered around, moaning.

Winter Grey looked to the centre of the carnage where a chandelier had exploded across the floor. She was surprised no one was underneath.

"I knew something was going to happen," Altria grumbled, standing by the grotesquely misshapen walls.

Winter Grey scanned the area, but nothing was immediately wrong. Everything looked as she expected, given the situation. Davjo pushing himself up, Chris helping up Critzer. Winter looked a bit back and narrowed her eyes. Cross was sprawled on the ground and his helmet had fallen off. Old scars a marred his unconscious face.

Before Winter Grey could consider this, there was a gasp where everyone was beginning to gather. Near what used to be the entrance, a mesh of metal surrounding a monumental gear sat next to a pit down into the Clockworks where a wall used to be.

Winter Grey briskly joined the crowd.

"Oh Isora."

Winter Grey's breath caught in her throat as she saw the body, crushed by the rubble, with the Silver Sword in all its magnificence, now cruel in its mocking glory, stabbed bloodily through the chest.

It was the chef.

Mon, 05/18/2015 - 21:33
#47
Hexlash's picture
Hexlash
I'm not dead?!

Sorry, sorry, sorry sorry, sorry!

I gave you guys an inexcusable wait, and I hope this never happens again (though it will almost certainly will, because I don't have any more long road trips in the near future.)

Onto the Q&A!
Q1: Was this worth the wait?
A: Up to you (I personally say no way-hozay.)

Q2: Why haven't you been posting lately?
A: I was guilt tripping myself into finishing this before I participated in the forums again, which is not to say I wasn't watching. And of course some things had to be commented on ;)

Q3: What took so long?
A: I lost all motivation (see? This IS a problem with our forums.) and couldn't bring myself to accomplish much when I did. I could make excuses like life, but that doesn't count.

Q4: Why did you make a Q&A?
A: I wanted to answer one particular question, but I forgot what that was. The idea to do a Q&A stuck with me, to help explain my absence.

Q5: Do you plan on finishing this?
A: For your sakes and my conscience I do. Whether or not it happens is up to my procrastinating butt. Good things are planned, though.

Q6: Why is that one part so confusing?
A: The lights off part? Yeah, it's kind of all happening at the same time and I'm bad at planning for the future and yeah.

Q7: Do you really expect us to read all of this?!
A: No, but if you do, put "potato42" somewhere in your post. Last time I did this I got around two people.

Q8: We ran out of shoelaces to eat, what do you have to say for yourself?
A: ... Sorry - mouth was full eating shoe.

Q9: Why is this question being asked?
A: I should stop.

Mon, 05/18/2015 - 21:42
#48
Thinslayer's picture
Thinslayer

Hello. It's certainly been awhile.

Mon, 05/18/2015 - 22:22
#49
Liminori's picture
Liminori
bleh

It's been worth the wait.
Things happen, and that's okay.
potato41

Mon, 05/18/2015 - 22:50
#50
Hexlash's picture
Hexlash
A Wolver's Purpose

Oh Thinslayer, how I have missed you so.

Liminori you sly fox. ;P

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