So I got no crowns? :( So much for me submitting that airplane joke I posted.
Whelp...it's my time to go! Giving away EVERYTHING! CTR VH Leviathan DA's/FoV's Vog MAX's / Owlite Max's
@ Adalyn I got some stuff left over on an alt I think. Might not be much but you can have it.
I'll mail it to you.
@Bigfoot you as well.
Bit tired today lol. Took 4 hours to give away everything while reading jokes haha.
Anyways expect mail soon.
Thanks!
![Bigfootm's picture Bigfootm's picture](https://forums.spiralknights.com/sites/default/files/avatar_selection/sk_kn-hood0.png)
Hahaha. Lol. Thanks dude. Did you like my joke?
would i be expecting mail soon? due to my awesome in game name :D IGN Wonderwaffles
honestly i didn't lol but you tried a buncha times so effort was rewarded i guess? lol
Wish I had more stuff to give but i'm all out.
I'll mail you 2 the last of it.
thanks!
-Ariia
![Bigfootm's picture Bigfootm's picture](https://forums.spiralknights.com/sites/default/files/avatar_selection/sk_kn-hood0.png)
Thank you once again and yeah, I couldn't remember this one really good joke but lol. Thanks once more and have fun!
Its a cruel world out there just take care of yourself :D
ill be thankful for the donation that you would give Thanks
~love Wonderwaffles
![Bigfootm's picture Bigfootm's picture](https://forums.spiralknights.com/sites/default/files/avatar_selection/sk_kn-hood0.png)
You are a good man/woman/kid/adult. But whatever it us, your nice and thats what I like. I normally never type in full sentences, but you deserve it. It was nice knowing you (Kinda) and I wish you would stay on SK. Thank you for tha donation.
Farewell,
Bigfootm :)
![Bigfootm's picture Bigfootm's picture](https://forums.spiralknights.com/sites/default/files/avatar_selection/sk_kn-hood0.png)
Also go check general discussion
I made something for you.
Spit ball
Teacher: Whoever answers this question can go home now one hour early
Student: Accidentally shoots a spit ball at his teacher
Teacher: who shot that spit ball
Student: I did by mistake. See you tomorrow.
err well I just crafted a Calibur ASI High lol on my craft alt as a last time gamble haha.
Bigfootm it's yours if you like.
I really hope you actually need it as I'd like to help someone who doesn't have a bunch of toys to play with already.
![Bigfootm's picture Bigfootm's picture](https://forums.spiralknights.com/sites/default/files/avatar_selection/sk_kn-hood0.png)
Yeah. I was thinking about making a CIV. Thank you. You truly do rck.
![Bigfootm's picture Bigfootm's picture](https://forums.spiralknights.com/sites/default/files/avatar_selection/sk_kn-hood0.png)
So it looks like my bad joke paid off. If you ever do come back, I'll help you in return.
I realize this has ended but I like telling jokes:
Joke 1:
A burglar gets a tip that a local millionaire is going to be out of town for the weekend, so he takes the opportunity to break into his home while it's vacant.
He breaks a window and crawls inside. To his alarm, he hears a voice.
“Care for cracker!” “Care for cracker!”” Squawk!”
he burglar is relieved when realizes that the voice is not human, but belongs to a parrot in a near by cage.
Amused by being almost scared away by the bird he approaches it and taunts,
“Awe, you hungry little bird? You want a cracker?”
Suddenly a sharp pain shoots up the burglar’s leg as sharp fangs sink in.
The parrot replies, “No you idiot, the Doberman; it’s named Cracker...”
Joke 2:
Sherlock Holmes and Dr Watson go on a camping trip. After a good dinner and a bottle of wine, they retire for the night, and go to sleep.
Some hours later, Holmes wakes up and nudges his faithful friend. “Watson, look up at the sky and tell me what you see.”
“I see millions and millions of stars, Holmes” replies Watson.
“And what do you deduce from that?”
Watson ponders for a minute. Well:
Astronomically, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets.
Astrologically, I observe that Saturn is in Leo.
Horologically, I deduce that the time is approximately a quarter past three.
Meteorologically, I suspect that we will have a beautiful day tomorrow.
Theologically, I can see that God is all powerful, and that we are a small and insignificant part of the universe.
But what does it tell you, Holmes?”
Holmes is silent for a moment.
“Watson, you idiot!” he says. “Someone has stolen our tent!”
Joke 3:
Before Chuck Norris was born, the martial arts weapon with two peices of wood connected by a chain was called a Nun Fred.
No one knows what happened to Fred...
Joke 4:
Osama bin Laden dies and in the afterlife is greeted by George Washington, who slapped him and yelled, "How dare you try to destroy the nation I helped conceive?"
Patrick Henry then approached and punched Osama in the nose. James Madison entered and kicked him in the shin. An angry Thomas Jefferson whacked Osama over the head with a cane.
The thrashing continued as John Randolph, James Monroe and 66 other early Americans came in and unleashed their anger on the terrorist leader.
Suddenly, as Osama lay writhing in unbearable pain, an angel appeared.
"This is not what you promised me," said Osama.
"Come on, Osama," the angel replied. "I told you there would be 72 Virginians..."
Joke 5 (my favorite!)
Two men were walking through the woods and came upon a big black, deep hole. One man picked up a rock and tossed it into the hole and stood listening for the rock to hit bottom. There was no sound.
He turned to the other guy and said "that must be a deep hole...
let's throw a bigger rock in there and listen for it to hit bottom." The men found a bigger rock and both picked it up and lugged it to the hole and dropped it in.
They listened for some time and never heard a sound. Again, they agreed that this must be one deep hole and maybe they should throw something even bigger into it.
One man spotted a rail-road tie nearby. They picked up the tie, grunting and groaning, and lugged it to the hole. They tossed it in. No sound. All of a sudden, a goat came flying out of the woods, running like the wind, and flew past the men and jumped straight into the hole. The men were amazed.
About that time, an old hayseed farmer came out of the woods and asked the men if they had seen a goat. One man told the farmer of the incredible incident they had just witnessed...they had just seen this goat fly out of the woods and run and leap into the big hole. The man asked the farmer if this could have been his goat.
The old farmer said "naw, that can't be my goat...he was chained to a railroad tie."
Hehehe hope you all enjoyed! -Pelikins
heya, i just started few days ago and dont have much, so anything would help if there's something left. (ign: Vtwo)
as i'm really not good with remembering jokes i'll just add a video i find brilliant :D
I dunno if this will float your boat in jokes or give you a chuckle. But, I thought I would give this a shot.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v0QcfnbbCzk
This is me after drinking a 40oz of Mickeys. -____-
Thank you for you time and consideration.
Sincerely,
Meteorcase
![Chikamatsu's picture Chikamatsu's picture](https://forums.spiralknights.com/sites/default/files/avatar_selection/sk_mob-chrom1.png)
When NASA first started sending up astronauts, they quickly discovered that ballpoint pens would not work in zero gravity. To combat the problem, NASA scientists spent a decade and $12 billion to develop a pen that writes in zero gravity, upside down, underwater, on almost any surface including glass and at temperatures ranging from below freezing to 300 C.
The Russians used a pencil.
IGN: Chikamatsu
![Whitelancer's picture Whitelancer's picture](https://forums.spiralknights.com/sites/default/files/avatar_selection/sk_kn-val2.png)
Heres my joke, its based on the story of
Vanaduke. If you read his story on the wiki
youll get my joke! Why did Vanaduke became mad?
Because Vog told him "IM YO MAMA!!!"
And Vanaduke was like "NO!!!"
After a long Sunday of services, three priests were deciding how to divide the day's collection. Their hang up was how much to keep for their own pay, and how much to put back into community services and renovating the church.
The first priest said "We should draw a line on the ground and throw the money into the air; whatever lands on the left side, we keep. Whatever lands on the right side, we give to God."
The second said, "No, no, no. We should draw a ring on the ground, not a circle, and throw the money into the air. Whatever lands on the inside, we keep. Whatever lands on the outside, we give to God. That is a much better plan."
The first replied "But how do we decided how big the circle is to make it the most fair?"
As the two fought, the third one interrupted. "Both of you be quiet, I have a much better idea," he said while setting down the Communion wine and wiping his lips.
"We throw the money into the air. Whatever God catches, he can keep. Whatever lands on the ground, we keep for ourselves."
*Rimshot* Thank you, Thank you, I'm here all week.
All I can afford is the unbinding fee for a three-star weapon, as I'm pretty new to the game and ergo broke. If you have something cool in that range (especially if it had some increased shadow resistance), that'd be great. If not, I hope I made you laugh and good luck to all.
My Knight's name is Apant.
I'll just post a bunch of stuff that I've stumbled upon.
http://media.spiralknights.com/wiki-images/9/92/Bestplanever.jpg
http://theoatmeal.com/blog/miracle_whip
http://wtfbot.net/pix/687.png
http://wtfbot.net/pix/708.jpeg
http://lolbot.net/pix/17180.jpg
http://lolbot.net.nyud.net/pix/17603.jpg
http://lolbot.net/pix/17098.jpg
http://lolbot.net/pix/17718.jpeg
http://lolbot.net/pix/17716.jpg
http://lolbot.net/pix/17693.gif
http://www.engrish.com//wp-content/uploads/2008/08/elvis-sinatra.jpg
http://girlamatic.com/shrubmonkeys/2007/06/26/shrub-monkey-51/
http://girlamatic.com/shrubmonkeys/2009/08/04/shrubmonkeys99/
http://girlamatic.com/shrubmonkeys/2009/09/07/shrubmonkeys101/
http://girlamatic.com/shrubmonkeys/2010/07/15/shrubmonkeys120/
http://girlamatic.com/shrubmonkeys/2010/12/17/shrub-monkeys-123/
http://www.wimp.com/funniesttrick/
http://www.dump.com/2011/07/07/hogwarts-which-house-are-you-video/
If you're amused enough, I'd be interested in a Fang of Vog... Though I'd rather earn it, so if you'd be so kind, I'd love it if you could trade your tokens for a blackened shield, so that I can have my shield shatter less easily in vana's areas ;_;
You could also add me to your list, I'll donate my Barbarous Thorn Shield UV Shadow low to someone, just send me a mail with their name after they made you laugh and whatnot :P
EDIT : Suppose I should mention, my IGN is Boolet.
YO MAMA SO POOR!!! I WENT TO HER BIG'OL CARDBOARD BOX, STEPPED ON A CIGARETTE!!! AND SHE SAID, "WHO TURNED OF THE HEATER!!!!"
MY SPIRAL KNIGHTS NAME IS YOMAMASAURUS!!!
(catch phrase)(don't steal it!), "I NEED THIS IM POOR!!!"
My wife told me to take off her shirt...
So I took off her shirt.
Then she said, "Take off my skirt."
I took off her skirt. "
Take off my shoes."
I took off her shoes.
"Now my hose, bra, and panties."
I took them off.
Then she looked at me and said, "I don't want to catch you wearing my things ever again."
ign: awesomemoon
i wants that owlite please :P
here is a couple jokes cause they are short and witty.
Sort of’ is such a harmless thing to say. ‘Sort of.’ It’s just a filler. ‘Sort of’—it doesn’t really mean anything. But after certain things, ‘sort of’ means everything. Like…after ‘I love you’ or ‘You’re going to live’…or ‘It’s a boy!
Earlier today i met an old friend who i had not seen in since a roofing job on a 60 story building. That day he had told me that he couldn't take the stress of life anymore so he jumped. Just then i looked down and noticed Trampoline Emporium was having a sidewalk sale, so my friend landed on a trampoline and bounced up all the way back to the roof, and when he got there the last thing he said to me was... I find your jokes contrived and hard to believe.
If I ever saw an amputee getting hanged, I’d probably just start calling out letters.
A quick way to start a conversation is to say something like ‘What’s your favorite color?’ A quick way to end a conversation is to say something like, ‘What’s your favorite color…person?
Hope you enjoyed :D
BTW my IGN is Eater-Of-Worlds
![Rommil's picture Rommil's picture](https://forums.spiralknights.com/sites/default/files/avatar_selection/sk_fan9.png)
original poster has long since gave away everything and left the game. quit bumping this thread already already.
can i get levi blade ctr VH and vog cub coat elem max?
IGN: Boxhead
![Bigfootm's picture Bigfootm's picture](https://forums.spiralknights.com/sites/default/files/avatar_selection/sk_kn-hood0.png)
Hey guys, this guy already quit. Yell killjoynoise for bumping it.
![Tberry's picture Tberry's picture](https://forums.spiralknights.com/sites/default/files/avatar_selection/sk_kn-rose2.png)
i will take any of them that is left
IGN:tberry
joke:
A young boy enters a barber shop and the barber whispers to his customer, “This is the dumbest kid in the world. Watch while I prove it to you.” The barber puts a dollar bill in one hand and two quarters in the other, then calls the boy over and asks, “Which do you want, son?” The boy takes the quarters and leaves. “What did I tell you?” said the barber. “That kid never learns!” Later, when the customer leaves, he sees the same young boy coming out of the ice cream store. “Hey, son! May I ask you a question? Why did you take the quarters instead of the dollar bill?” The boy licked his cone and replied, “Because the day I take the dollar, the game is over!”
A woman is being wheeled out of hospital by her husband with a baby wrapped up in her arms.
Her two other children( a boy and a girl) are standing around looking at the new addition to the family.
"Mummy! Mummy! - what's she called?" Says the daughter.
"Well Petal, we're not sure yet" Says the woman looking up at her husband smiling. "We'll let fate decide.."
The little girl pauses a second - wondering what the word fate means and then pipes up again.
"Mummy! Mummy! - Why am I called Petal?"
"Well dear.. " The mother starts "As I was coming out of the hospital with you, just like this. a beautiful flower was blowing in the wind.. one of it's petals broke free, it floated in the wind, and then as your father and I watched it - it landed on your head. So we called you petal. =) "
"Oh" the girl says.
Then the boy comes out with:
"Mma mrra mmhh mrhh mmm"
..and the mother turns to him and says
"Sorry what's that Brick?"
- Enjoy.
![Hero-Slayer's picture Hero-Slayer's picture](https://forums.spiralknights.com/sites/default/files/avatar_selection/sk_kn-val2.png)
This one's long but funny:
There once was 3 aliens who landed on earth. They wanted to learn English so they can get along with people. So the 3 aliens split up and started listening to people talk. 1 alien went to a restaurant and knew how to say" forks and knives". The 2nd alien went to the operas and knew how to say"memememememe...ME...". And the last alien went to the movies and knew how to say"nenenenenenenene...BATMAN!". So when they were walking down the streets, they saw a cop standing beside a dead person. The cop said,"who killed this person", and 1 alien said"memememememe...ME...". The cop asked"what did you used as the weapons?", and another alien said," forks and knives. forks and knives". Then the cop said,"who do you think you are?" and the last alien said,"nenenenenenenene...BATMAN!"
ign: Hero-Slayer. What i want if i win: Divine Avenger.
![Dzxi's picture Dzxi's picture](https://forums.spiralknights.com/sites/default/files/avatar_selection/sk_kn-rose1.png)
this thread is over a month old, learn to read. kid has already quit and given everything away. quit bumping this thread.
SYMPTOM: Beer unusually pale and tasteless.
FAULT: Glass empty.
ACTION: Get someone to buy you another beer.
SYMPTOM: Beer tasteless, front of your shirt is wet.
FAULT: Mouth not open, or glass applied to wrong part of face.
ACTION: Retire to gent’s room, practice in mirror.
SYMPTOM: Feet cold and wet.
FAULT: Glass being held at incorrect angle.
ACTION: Rotate glass so that open end points toward ceiling.
SYMPTOM: Feet warm and wet.
FAULT: Improper bladder control.
ACTION: Stand next to nearest dog, complain about its house training. Demand beer.
SYMPTOM: Floor blurred.
FAULT: You are looking through bottom of empty glass.
ACTION: Get someone to buy you another beer.
SYMPTOM: Floor moving.
FAULT: You are being carried out.
ACTION: Find out if you are being taken to another bar.
SYMPTOM: Opposite wall covered with fluorescent lights.
FAULT: You have fallen over backward.
ACTION: Have yourself leashed to bar.
SYMPTOM: Mouth contains cigarette butts.
FAULT: You have fallen forward.
ACTION: See above.
SYMPTOM: Room seems unusually dark.
FAULT: Bar has closed.
ACTION: Confirm home address with bartender.
If this appeases the whims of the great benefactor, may that person bestow upon me any item of their choosing.
Such a gift would be reverently appreciated and a toast made in thine honor.
Huzzah
Huzzah
(IGN Droctagonoapus)
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