Spiral Knights - CradleQuest!? Its StoreQuest time!

CradleQuest!? Its StoreQuest time!

53 replies [Last post]

Mon, 09/12/2011 - 19:18

WeibblesSold

Legacy Username

Hold on to your prosthetic butts its time for a FORUM ADVENTURE!
If you've seen MSpaint adventures, Homestuck, or anything similar, you should know how this goes, if not here are some RULES!

1. Respond/ Sumbit your choice like this:

> ###### go to the BLAHBLAHLOCATION

2. I kinda suck at pictures but will try to mix some in!

3. Nothing too vulgar (please?)

4. I use a random system to pick inputs, (unless it catches my eye and "Ehwhynot" occurs

Welcome to:
CRADLEQUEST

>Continue?
>New Game?
>Options?

Mon, 09/12/2011 - 19:42

Shoebox

doo doo doo dododo doo dododoo

This is nothing like BrodyQuest.

I demand a refund.

Mon, 09/12/2011 - 19:54

WeibblesSold

Legacy Username

>Demand a refund The CASHIER

>Demand a refund

The CASHIER gives you a panicked look. Your aggressive HAGGLING LEVEL is EXPERT, and he is caught OFF-GUARD. "We uh...ran out of BrodyQuest, but we can uh...give you store credit and CradleQuest for free?" His manager is now planning his HORRIBLE DEATH. You win at StoreQuest forever.

Mon, 09/12/2011 - 20:05

Shoebox

inb4 all we have is CradleQuest.

How much STORE CREDIT do I get? Is it enough to cover the cost of buying CradleQuest?
Because I might use my STORE CREDIT in conjunction with CradleQuest and trade it in for Pokemon Black.
Or Club Penguin on the DS.

I've never even played Club Penguin but it sounds pretty sweet.
Kinda like Club Seal and Harpoon Whale.
I could play a game like that.

Mon, 09/12/2011 - 20:22

WeibblesSold

Legacy Username

>Implying anything is better than StoreQuest, GOTY edition

>Inquiry about STORE CREDIT

The STORE CREDIT is only half cost of a full game due to the stores ANNOYING POLICIES! It will cover the cost of a TOY TRAIN SET, COMPLETE WITH RAILROADS however. You can find other VIDEO ENTERTAINMENT ITEMS in the bin. There is a HELP wanted sign on the window.

>[SUBMIT INPUT]

Mon, 09/12/2011 - 20:32

Shoebox

>Search VIDEO ENTERTAINMENT

>Search VIDEO ENTERTAINMENT ITEMS BIN for THIS SPECIFIC CONSOLE PERIPHERAL.

Mon, 09/12/2011 - 20:49

WeibblesSold

Legacy Username

>Search VIDEO

>Search VIDEO ENTERTAINMENT

You spend 2 HOURS searching for the COVETED CONSOLE MANIPULATION DEVISE. However the NERVOUS CASHIER stammers that it is probably in the BACK OF THE STORE. His eyes shrink behind his glasses at the thought of going back there.

Mon, 09/12/2011 - 20:51

Shoebox

It never works in real life, but video games might be different.

>Threaten NERVOUS CASHIER with LOST SALE in order to get him to go to BACK OF THE STORE.

Mon, 09/12/2011 - 21:06

WeibblesSold

Legacy Username

Also title change

>Threaten NERVOUS CASHIER with LOST SALE in order him to go to the BACK OF THE STORE.

Turning pale at the thought of dealing with ENRAGED MANAGER over the LOST SALE. He heads to back of the store and stumbles into OPPRESSIVE DARKNESS. After hearing moans of pain you see that he has forgotten to activate the LIGHT ACTIVATION MECHANIC. The ENRAGED MANAGER is palming his face.

>[INPUT COMMAND]

Mon, 09/12/2011 - 21:09

Schwalala

CradleQuest, oh boy!

> Continue.

> Close my eyes, spend xx minutes telepathically arguing with my Deadly Virulisk armor, which is alive and in fact my Symbiote, which would be as dead without me as I would be without it.

> Remember that arguing is an expression of love, and silently celebrate my bond with this creature.

> Enter the Clockworks, Dread Venom Striker at the ready.

> Immediately, irrationally assume every tiny strange clicking or grinding sound throughout Clockwork Tunnels D19 is one of those absolutely detestable Gremlin Menders hiding nearby, feeling unnatural levels of fury heating my blood, fueled harder by the fact that it is PROBABLY my imagination and that I am paranoid-crazy.

> Experience my Symbiote's appreciation for me as it feeds on my anguish.

> ^_^

Mon, 09/12/2011 - 21:13

#10

Shoebox

Also, comment on how HILARIOUS the NERVOUS CASHIER is.

>Ask ENRAGED MANAGER if COVETED CONSOLE MANIPULATION DEVICE is actually IN STOCK.

Mon, 09/12/2011 - 21:18

#11

WeibblesSold

Legacy Username

>Use CHEAT CODES to skip

>Use CHEAT CODES to skip ahead in CradleQuest as VIRULISK SYMBIOTE EXPLORER

Sadly are not near your SWEET GAME SYSTEM, and need a COVETED CONSOLE MANIPULATION DEVISE to do so. However you feel a PRESENCE taking notes with YOINK noise.

(My way of apologizing, StoreQuest has begun and I would make an ACTUAL CradleQuest, and may or may not totally shoehorn that in.)

Mon, 09/12/2011 - 21:25

#12

Shoebox

I don't know what's going on anymore.

Man this game is a rip off, I want a refund on my refund.

Mon, 09/12/2011 - 21:27

#13

WeibblesSold

Legacy Username

>Ask ENRAGED MANAGER if

>Ask ENRAGED MANAGER if COVETED CONSOLE MANIPULATION DEVICE is actually IN STOCK.

He grunts uncaringly at you before using the STOCK TERMINAL. He breezes through the logs, informing you that it may be in the BACK but you will need a set of keys to reach the AREA it may be LOCATED. He says that his buffoon of a NERVOUS CASHIER might have the KEYS.

>[INPUT COMMAND]

(You may be experiencing LAG due to me looking up strategies for LOL)

Mon, 09/12/2011 - 21:30

#14

WeibblesSold

Legacy Username

>Attempt a refund of your

>Attempt a refund of your refund

The ANGRY MANAGER glares at you and tells you to deal with it. Your aggressive HAGGLING LEVEL is nowhere near enough to even UNNERVE him.

>[INPUT COMMAND]

Mon, 09/12/2011 - 21:31

#15

Shoebox

LoL Strategy? Just stick Manamune on EVERYTHING.

>Use LIGHT ACTIVATION MECHANIC in BACK OF THE STORE. Then check if BUFFOON CASHIER is still CONSCIOUS.

Mon, 09/12/2011 - 21:40

#16

WeibblesSold

Legacy Username

Manamune? On DunkMaster Yi?

>Use LIGHT ACTIVATION MECHANIC in BACK OF THE STORE. Then check if BUFFOON CASHIER is still CONSCIOUS.

The lights flicker on and reveal a surprisingly SPACIOUS STORAGE AREA. You are entirely unsure as to what a VIDEO GAME STORE would need a SPACIOUS STORAGE AREA for. Starting from the ENTRANCE, a long flight of stairs takes you GROUND FLOOR. At the bottom BUFFON CASHIER rolls around in pain. Someone should have told him about the STAIRS apparently.

Mon, 09/12/2011 - 21:42

#17

Saberthwaite

MOAR INPUTZ

> Check DEADLY WEAPON to ensure it is in its trusty holster, in case the groanings from in back came from a LESSER GAMER ZOMBIE.

Mon, 09/12/2011 - 21:45

#18

Shoebox

Six Pairs of Boots of Mobility on EVERYTHING.

>Get to the bottom of the STAIRS and PILFER KEYS from WOUNDED CASHIER.

Mon, 09/12/2011 - 22:02

#19

WeibblesSold

Legacy Username

I can never focus-SIX BOOTS YOU SAY?

> Check DEADLY WEAPON to ensure it is in its trusty holster, in case the groanings from in back came from a LESSER GAMER ZOMBIE.

You check your HIP STORAGE and find your most powerful WEAPON. Better be careful or you might end up CHANGING NAME and RESIDENCE again.. You'd hate to be any unfortante GAMER ZOMBIE to see the business end of this bad boy.

>Get to the bottom of the STAIRS and PILFER KEYS from WOUNDED CASHIER.

After securing your DEADLY WEAPON, you carefully make your way down with DISGRUNTLED MANAGER following you. After PILFERING the CASHIERS KEYS you find him WHINING to his superior. DISGRUNTLED MANAGER sighs miserably and tells you that its been a while since hes been down here, so once CASHIER mans up, he will send him to GUIDE you. He recommends looking around to see if you can find something to spend those STORE CREDITS on.

>[INPUT COMMAND]

>*new feature unlocked* INVENTORY MENU:
1x Copy of CradleQuest (Left Hand)
1x Card containing 25 Store Credits (Left Hip Storage)
1x Highly dangerous DEADLY WEAPON (Right Hip Storage)
1x Ring of PILFERED KEYS ( Right Hand)

((Apologizing on slow typing speeds.))

Mon, 09/12/2011 - 22:10

#20

WeibblesSold

Legacy Username

(Heading offline, wont be

(Heading offline, wont be surprised if this is moved to off topic ((Shoebox *shakes fist*)), will respond to INPUTS when I'm online)

Mon, 09/12/2011 - 22:30

#21

Soulnfinity

>Eats a BAGEL while WATCHING

>EATS a BAGEL while WATCHING the KNIGHTLY NEWS WITH SPIN' ENG SNIPES to CHECK on the CRYSTAL ENERGY stock market.

Yeah, I have no idea how to do this. I just wanted to join in on the fun.

>JOIN PARTY

Mon, 09/12/2011 - 23:22

#22

Flists

>LOADING... please WAIT...

>LOADING... please WAIT...
>LOADING... please WAIT...
>LOADING... please WAIT...

>SERVER is currently OFFLINE.

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!1111oneoneone

Mon, 09/12/2011 - 23:30

#23

Shoebox

Good thing I wore my anti-Sea Rhinocerous underwear.

>LOOK for COVETED CONSOLE MANIPULATION DEVISE in LARGE STORAGE AREA. Alternatively, LOOK for a SUPER SCOPE.

Also, if this thread gets moved to Off-Topic, it means I have won the game.

Tue, 09/13/2011 - 09:31

#24

WeibblesSold

Legacy Username

>JOIN PARTY, Yeah, I have no

>JOIN PARTY, Yeah, I have no idea how to do this. I just wanted to join in on the fun.
Its a text game, you give the character Commands and I'll do my best to show what that would do, my last (ingame response) would be the current situation. (In good reason with the scenario.) This was going to be much much more Spiral Knightish, but EEh why not happened. If I can/think anyone is intreseted I'll give it another go.

>SERVER is currently OFFLINE.

Server Status Update: ONLINE

>>LOOK for COVETED CONSOLE MANIPULATION DEVISE in LARGE STORAGE AREA. Alternatively, LOOK for a SUPER SCOPE.

You give the Area a good looking over, shifting through the BOXES for the COVETED CONSOLE MANIPULATION DEVISE. However the BOXES seem to be not categorized, however climbing up on one, you spot a ADVANCE LONG RANGE ASSAULT WEAPON. That's an incredibly lucky find! Heading over you prepare to grab it when a shambling horror approaches! Pale and unnaturally thin, the SHUT-IN ZOMBIE prepares to AGGRESS!

>[INPUT COMMAND]

>INVENTORY MENU:
1x Copy of CradleQuest (Left Hand)
1x Card containing 25 Store Credits (Left Hip Storage)
1x Highly dangerous DEADLY WEAPON (Right Hip Storage)
1x Ring of PILFERED KEYS ( Right Hand)

Tue, 09/13/2011 - 15:44

#25

Flists

>KICK zombie in WEAK SPOT

>KICK zombie in WEAK SPOT (groin)
If that don't work,
>SMASH zombie head with Copy of CRADLEQUEST. IGNORE fact that there is a DEADLY WEAPON on right hip and ADVANCE LONG RANGE ASSAULT WEAPON in front of you.

Tue, 09/13/2011 - 16:08

#26

WeibblesSold

Legacy Username

>>KICK zombie in WEAK SPOT,

>>KICK zombie in WEAK SPOT, attempt a SMASHING BLOW with Copy of CRADLEQUEST

You begin your attack on the SHUT-IN ZOMBIE. You land the KICK with an uncomfortable SQUISH! The attack STUNS the SHUT-IN ZOMBIE and deals 5 DMG! Due to the light WEIGHT properties of your Copy of CradleQuest you would NORMALLY attack first, but this doesn't matter due to your SUCCESSFUL STUN attack! The SHUT-IN ZOMBIE is HURT but not out of the fight yet! Your close enough for SHUT-IN ZOMBIE to swing his bony arm and deal 3 DMG!

Your Health:
27/30!
Current weapon: Copy of CradleQuest! (Weight: LIGHT, Dmg: LOW!)

SHUT-IN ZOMBIES HEALTH:
10/20 (Hurt)
Known weak-point: Groin area!

>[INPUT COMMAND]

>INVENTORY MENU:
1x Copy of CradleQuest (Left Hand)
1x Card containing 25 Store Credits (Left Hip Storage)
1x Highly dangerous DEADLY WEAPON (Right Hip Storage)
1x Ring of PILFERED KEYS ( Right Hand)

Tue, 09/13/2011 - 19:28

#27

Saberthwaite

AGRESS!

>Draw DEADLY WEAPON and hit him with its full strength in the WEAK POINT.

>Then, acquire LONG RANGE ASSAULT WEAPON

Tue, 09/13/2011 - 19:50

#28

WeibblesSold

Legacy Username

>Draw DEADLY WEAPON and hit

>Draw DEADLY WEAPON and hit him with its full strength in the WEAK POINT.

You swap your Copy of CradleQuest for your DEADLY WEAPON to finish off your opponent! However swapping allowed the SHUT-IN ZOMBIE to strike for 3 damage! It leaves you with a BRUISE! Now that you have your DEADLY WEAPON equipped you take aim and fire at it's WEAK-POINT! A pew noise is heard before the BLAST from your DEADLY WEAPON disintegrates it! The SHUT-IN ZOMBIE looks at you in horror before turning to CRUMBLY DUST!

You have defeated the SHUT-IN ZOMBIE!
It drops a card containing 10 STORE CREDITS!
Your AGGRESSION level rises!

Your Health:
24/30! (Bruised)
Current weapon: Deadly Weapon (Weight: LIGHT, Dmg: medium! Only usable at mid to short range, SPEC: It goes pew-pew!)

>acquire LONG RANGE ASSAULT WEAPON

You rush over to the LONG RANGE ASSAULT WEAPON. After holstering your storing your ring of PILFERED KEYS you can now carry it!
Due to not being in combat you gain 2 HEALTH!
Health:
26/30 (Light Bruise)

>[INPUT COMMAND]

>INVENTORY MENU:
1x Copy of CradleQuest (Right Hip Storage)
2x Cards equaling 25 Store Credits (Left Hip Storage)
1x Highly dangerous DEADLY WEAPON (Left Hand)
1x Ring of PILFERED KEYS ( Right Hip Storage) *now full*
1x LONG RANGE ASSAULT WEAPON (Right Hand)

Tue, 09/13/2011 - 23:01

#29

Shoebox

Welp. Time to start disintegrating boxes.

2x Cards equaling 35 Store Credits (Left Hip Storage)

As for my command:
>SEARCH STORAGE AREA for DOOR to LOCATION DISGRUNTLED MANAGER mentioned.

Wed, 09/14/2011 - 14:03

#30

WeibblesSold

Legacy Username

FUUUUUUUU thanks shoebox

>SEARCH STORAGE AREA for DOOR to LOCATION DISGRUNTLED MANAGER mentioned.

You begin looking for the door to the DOOR that will lead to where the COVETED CONSOLE MANIPULATION DEVISE may be held. Unfortunately this place is quiet large and very confusing. You come across several LARGE BOXES and two medium sized METAL BAWKS. While the other boxes are unlabeled these have a manufacturing label and a FEMALE/MALE sign on each respectively. Maybe the are PORT-O-WASH-FACILITES? Past them is a large COMPUTER. There is a SCANNER attached to the computer.

>[INPUT COMMAND]

Wed, 09/14/2011 - 15:47

#31

Shoebox

>OPEN every BAWXKS at the

>OPEN every BAWXKS at the same time in hopes of FINDING PHAT LEWT.

Wed, 09/14/2011 - 16:05

#32

WeibblesSold

Legacy Username

Times I wish I knew the words that link you to places #4

>OPEN every BAWXKS at the same time in hopes of FINDING PHAT LEWT.

Oh man this is awesome, its like Christmas, except in a warehouse. You begin opening BOXES with glee. Five of the LARGE BOXES contained NOVELTY TEE-SHIRTS. Three of them had VARIOUS BOLTS n' SCREWS of different sizes. A single box had jars of SPICY PICKLES! The last one had ODD VIDEO ENTERTAINMENTS such as: UrbarnStranded! an experts guide to the Sun, and ForumTroller! Due to not being in combat you gain 4 HEALTH!

Health: 30/30!

The METAL BAWXKS could not be opened! What a shame!

>[INPUT COMMAND]

Wed, 09/14/2011 - 17:39

#33

Shoebox

<a href="link goes here">Words go here</a>

>REMOVE PICKLES from JAR CONTAINING SPICY PICKLES. REPLACE PICKLES with VARIOUS BOLTS n' SCREWS to create SPICY BOLTED SCREWS.

Wed, 09/14/2011 - 21:23

#34

WeibblesSold

Legacy Username

Thanks bro

>REMOVE PICKLES from JAR CONTAINING SPICY PICKLES. REPLACE PICKLES with VARIOUS BOLTS n' SCREWS to create SPICY BOLTED SCREWS.

Your not sure where your going with this but your knowledge of BRINING ARTS has never failed you before. You remove the PICKLES and REPLACE them with the BOLTS n' SCREWS! After waiting a while you are sure the fasteners are seasoned creating the SPICY BOLTED SCREWS! Unfortunately you are unable to carry them due to having both your hands and storage FULL! Also the JAR is a bit to large for you meager LEFT HIP STORAGE. You will need to find a way to gain more INVENTORY SPACE.

>>[Cutscene]

You hear a gasp behind you. Its the NERVOUS CASHIER, and he is shocked at the mess of PICKLES, TEE SHIRTS and OPENED BOXES! Maybe he was coming to tell you off about LOOTING him, but in the presence of so many goods he's in a PANIC!

NC: "WHAT ARE YOU DOING? DO YOU HAVE ANY CLUE HOW MANY ORDERS MAY HAVE BEEN RUINED BY THIS?! WHATIFMYBOSSFINDSOUTOHGEEZHE'LLFIREMEANDINEEDTHISJOBAND-"

His RANT becomes dribbled nonsense and he begins FLIPPING OUT! Though you find yourself chuckling he or the MANAGER may be the only ones who know where the DOOR the COVETED CONSOLE MANIPULATION DEVISE might be located at.

>[INPUT COMMAND]

Wed, 09/14/2011 - 23:37

#35

Shoebox

>Offer NERVOUS CASHIER a

>Offer NERVOUS CASHIER a SPICY SCREW

Thu, 09/15/2011 - 20:16

#36

WeibblesSold

Legacy Username

>Offer NERVOUS CASHIER a

>Offer NERVOUS CASHIER a SPICY SCREW
You pull out a SPICY BOLTED SCREW! The NERVOUS CASHIER slows down a bit in confusion as hes sees that you managed to BRINE SCREWS and BOLTS together. Surely he is impressed by your awesome BRINING SKILLS, or just incredibly confused. Nether the less he has CALMED DOWN. He is still staring at the mess in a tizzy. He begins looking around before shouting more nonsense that reminds you of SCRATCHY INTERCOMS.

NERVOUS CASHIER uses MINIMUNWAGEAMANCY: BOX OF OVERSTUFFED!

Suddenly the mess of PICKLES, LEFTOVER SCREWS, most of the TEE SHIRTS and ODD VIDEO ENTERTAINMENTS. In his had a SMALL BULGING BOX shakes. He careful puts it in his APRON STORAGE.

NERVOUS CASHIER gained item:
SMALL UNSTABLE BOX! x1

>[INPUT COMMAND]

Fri, 09/16/2011 - 02:37

#37

Shoebox

>INQUIRE as to the

>INQUIRE as to the WHEREABOUTS of the MYSTERIOUS DOOR to COVETED CONSOLE MANIPULATION DEVISE LAND.

Fri, 09/16/2011 - 14:31

#38

WeibblesSold

Legacy Username

Hopefully the map uploaded.

>INQUIRE as to the WHEREABOUTS of the MYSTERIOUS DOOR to COVETED CONSOLE MANIPULATION DEVISE LAND.

NERVOUS CASHIER looks at you oddly. He chuckles that it would be silly to have an entire area of only those controllers. Instead he pulls out a MAP that shows where it would be.

The Green walled area to the south is the STORE FRONT.
You are currently in the middle of the LARGEST GREY area, which is know as the DELAYED ORDER STORAGE.
To the north is RECEIVING and SHIPPING, hes only been back there once but thinks there is a TUNNELED ROAD not on the map back there.
RED hallways have extra SECURITY, and customers may be CHECKED for any dangerous items.
The BLACKED OUT areas to the west are OFF-LIMITS to employees with low clearance and customers. He has no clue whats over there.
To the east is the EMPLOYEE LOUNGE, which is connected to the FREIGHT ELEVATOR and the CLEANEST HALLWAY.
Past the CLEANEST HALLWAY is where most of the VIDEO ENTERTAINMENT is stored, and where the controller is probably.

To make things simple all you need to do is head east til you hit a SECURITY HALLWAY, then make a left and head through the CLEANEST HALLWAY, and then you will find the VIDEO ENTERTAINMENT ROOM.

>[INPUT COMMAND]

Tue, 09/20/2011 - 21:53

#39

Shoebox

It's always harder than it sounds.

>FOLLOW those DIRECTIONS.

Wed, 09/21/2011 - 12:22

#40

Miqueas

> while on the VER room

> while on the VER room search for MYSTERIOUS THINGS and CARDS with STORE CREDITS

> SMASH things for FUN, look at SMASHED THINGS searching for WEPS and ARMOR that might make you get MORE HEALTH and more INVENTORY SPACES,

> PUNCH NC in the FACE and tell him to RUN and SMASH onto a SMASHABLE SECRET WALL

>USE PHONE to call PIZZERIA and order a PIZZA SLICE with:
X2 PEPPERONI
X3 MUSHROOMS
X1 TOMATO SLICE
AND a LIGHT COKE

Wed, 09/21/2011 - 14:30

#41

WeibblesSold

Legacy Username

REBOOTING...LOADING...LOADING... RUNNING COMMANDS

> while on the VER room search for MYSTERIOUS THINGS and CARDS with STORE CREDITS

You plan on giving the VIDEO ENTERTAINMENT ROOM a proper pillaging when you get there, your sticky fingers are itching for some SWEET LOOT.

> SMASH things for FUN, look at SMASHED THINGS searching for WEPS and ARMOR that might make you get MORE HEALTH and more INVENTORY SPACES

You decide to start smashing things again, and break open the LAST BOX in the aisle. You also try smashing the METAL BOXES again, but they are still way too resilient, it'll take quite a FORCE to crack these open. However the LAST BOX was filled with various CAMPING SUPPLIES, and OLD CAMERA'S. Sorting through the mess you find a BACKPACK, it has one pocket for LARGE ITEMS, and 4 spaces available for SMALL ITEMS. You store the JAR OF SPICY BOLTED SCREW in the large space, and now have 4 extra SMALL STORAGE SPACES! You don't know how to increase your HEALTH yet, maybe you should try eating healthy?
Sadly you have created another mess causing NC to FLIP OUT again.

>PUNCH NC in the FACE and tell him to RUN and SMASH onto a SMASHABLE SECRET WALL
Tired of his babbling you give him a solid PUNCH in the face. He has stopped FLIPPING OUT in shock. He backs away from you slowly when you begin commanding him to BREAK DOWN SECRET WALLS. He looks like he thinks your a bit NUTS.

NERVOUS CASHIER uses MINIMUNWAGEAMANCY: BOX OF OVERSTUFFED!

Once again he cleans up your MESS and gains another SMALL BULGING BOX, which he also stores in his APRON STORAGE!

NERVOUS CASHIER gained item:
SMALL UNSTABLE BOX! x1

>USE PHONE to call PIZZERIA and order a PIZZA SLICE with:
X2 PEPPERONI
X3 MUSHROOMS
X1 TOMATO SLICE
AND a LIGHT COKE

Oh man does a PIZZA SLICE sound good. You put down your LONG RANGE ASSAULT WEAPON, and begin searching for you PHONE. Unfortantly, left the PHONE in your VEHICULAR TRANSPORT. You make a RUDE GESTURE at your forgetfulness.

>FOLLOW those DIRECTIONS.

Growing tired of standing around, you pick up your LONG RANGE ASSAULT WEAPON, and begin heading for the EASTERN SECURITY CHECKPOINT.
[ESTIMATED TIME TIL ARRIVAL: 3 TURNS.]

>[INPUT COMMAND]

Thu, 09/22/2011 - 00:11

#42

Shoebox

Don't forget to kick all puppies and kittens on the way for XP.

>SPRINT so I get to the EASTERN SECURITY CHECKPOINT faster.

Fri, 09/23/2011 - 05:33

#43

mejezfeld

Legacy Username

>See if they have any

>See if they have any COLORFUL BUT NOT VERY INTERACTIVE EQUINES and/or GLORIFIED CUSTOMIZABLE ACTION FIGURES WITH MASK MOTIF that you can loot, and then see if they have a BACK TO THE FUTURE LIMITED EDITION HOVERBOARD so you can make up for lost time when you're done looting.

Wed, 09/28/2011 - 15:27

#44

Weibbles

REST IN PEACE WeibblesSold account youve done me well.

(Due to me bridging my account with my Steam account, I have lost all ability to post as WeibblesSold. There is no reviving it, and while this annoys me, all I can do is wish it bon viage. Anyway sorry for any delay.)

>SPRINT so I get to the EASTERN SECURITY CHECKPOINT faster.

You take off SPRINTING to the EASTERN SECURITY CHECKPOINT, leaving the now huffing and weezing NC behind. That guy should EXCERZIZE more. Unfortunately, there were no CREEPY MUTT-PUPS or CAUSTIC CAT-LINGS to kick for bonus exp. You arrive at the EASTERN SECURITY CHECKPOINT, but it will take a while for NC to get here.
[ESTEMATIED TIME UNTIL SLOWPOKE NC GETS HERE: 1 turn]
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

You slap yourself in the head for not LOOTING, any of that SWEET LOOTABLES would have made this trip all the more worthwhile. Sadly you are now at the EASTERN SECURITY CHECKPOINT, and the SECURITY GUARDS are watching you closely. Those NIGHT-BATS they're carrying look painful too. One of them approaches you and would like to know what you are doing here. She is holding her BAT menacingly.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
>[INPUT COMMAND]

Thu, 09/29/2011 - 01:48

#45

Mejezfeld

>Inform security guard that

>Inform security guard that you were sent by an INTERNATIONAL TALON STANDARDS BODY to make sure the security was UP TO SCRATCH, then ask her why they're using NIGHT-BATS as opposed to SHARP CLAWS.

Thu, 09/29/2011 - 22:11

#46

Weibbles

up to scratch? I SEE WHAT YOU HAVE DONE

>Inform security guard that you were sent by an INTERNATIONAL TALON STANDARDS BODY to make sure the security was UP TO SCRATCH, then ask her why they're using NIGHT-BATS as opposed to SHARP CLAWS.

The security guard narrows her eyes and pulls off one her gloves and presses a NAIL to your face.

-1 HEALTH

Ouch, it seems that her NAIL has been sharpened to a point, and given a metal covering! You now have a cut on your face. She begins asking to see a BADGE to prove your authority, better prepare a world class BLUFF BUFF to get out of this mess. You here a gasping breath behind you as NC finally catches up. The security guard is now staring at NC with rapt attention! NC gives a half hearted wave, and is trying to catch his breathe.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
>[INPUT COMMAND]

Fri, 09/30/2011 - 01:02

#47

Mejezfeld

>Inform her that because of

>Inform her that because of the COMPLETELY UNEXPECTED HISPANIC ANTI-SATANIST COLLECTIVE, anything EVEN TANGENTIALLY OR REMOTELY ASSOCIATED WITH THE DEMON FIGURE OF CHRISTIANITY suffers a very high risk of running into them and ending up being THOROUGHLY CRUSADERADICATED. As a safety measure all INTERNATIONAL TALON STANDARDS OFFICERS have been revoked of the right to carry their BADGES OF OFFICE outside of their OFFICIAL HEADQUARTERS, because OLD SCRATCH just so happens to be a nickname of the Devil and Demons and other HORRIFIC ALIEN PHOBIA FIGURES IN THE HUMAN PSYCHE have been associated with various SHARP APPENDAGES such as TALONS and POINTED/BARBED TAILS for COUNTLESS EONS. Tell her that doesn't make much sense to you either, but rules are rules and that's why you don't have a BADGE OF OFFICE.

Sat, 10/01/2011 - 14:59

#48

Jim-Dale

My prosthetic butt and

My prosthetic butt and propane accessories are offended.

Tue, 10/04/2011 - 13:00

#49

Weibbles

College classes steal lives kids, dont do college :D

You preform a SKILL MOVE: BLUFF BUFF OF HIGH STATUS. You go on a long rant of righteous fury and confusing rules, but by george you preform the bluff like a champ! The SECURITY GUARD is now sweating a bit and apologizing for scratching your face as she puts back her glove. She mutters that she had no clue there were even INTERNATIONAL TALON STANDARDS OFFICERS.

NC is now staring at you in awe, whatever he had to say has been forgotten by your stunning BLUFF BUFF.

You see an ODD metal Detector in the SECURITY CHECKPOINT in the middle and a rather LARGE CAGE beside it. Past them is the door that leads to the EMPLOYEE LOUNGE. You are one step closer to the COVETED CONSOLE MANIPULATION DEVISE!
===============================Status Menu===============================================
Due to not being in battle, your face heals from the scratch! [30/30 HP]
Due to using SKILL MOVE: BLUFF BUFF OF HIGH STATUS you have a DOMINATING PRESENCE and an apparition of a suit is over your clothes.
+3 AGGRESSION, +3 COMMANDINATION, -2 SENSITIVITY. [Duration 4 turns]
===============================Status Menu===============================================

>[INPUT COMMAND]

>INVENTORY MENU:
1x Copy of CradleQuest (Right Hip Storage)
2x Cards equaling 35 Store Credits (Left Hip Storage)
1x Highly dangerous DEADLY WEAPON (Left Hand)
1x Ring of PILFERED KEYS ( Right Hip Storage) *now full*
1x LONG RANGE ASSAULT WEAPON (Right Hand)
BACKPACK STORAGE:
1x Jar of SPICY BOLTED SCREWS.(Large storage)
4 small storage slots available.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

>Weibbles:Offend someones PROSTHETIC BUTT
AWKWARD MOMENT OF SHAME gained!

Tue, 10/04/2011 - 14:42

#50

Lithanium

6Doranblades?

>empty all items in all item slots to PRANCE AROUND LIKE A PONY before picking them up.
Then proceed to pick up all the items, eat a spicy bolted screw, Asks WTF STORE CREDITS ARE USED FOR and walks through the metal detector before offending another persons PROSTHETIC BUTT.