BLARGIN NOZIGO HOHEH!!!
RANDOM!!!!!!!
SOMEONE NECROED! Or, did He Crow? Or, did She Sow? Or, should he Be Low? Or, did Lee Blow? Or, did I rhyme?
Little Bo Beep
lost her sheep
when a perverted creep
grabbed her *bleep*.
If there are 2 brothers, on that's 4 years old and stands 3 foot tall and the other brother is 6 years old and stands 2 foot tall, which one is the little brother?
"Meet the Prestigious and Well-Mannered Soldier"
If hand-on-hand combat is a sure-fire way to gain the glorious status of a victor then by all means use hand-on-hand combat. The ancient Chinese military general known as Sun Tzu once quoted that, and judging by his amount of experience in the combat field I'd conclude that he had more general knowledge than yourself my dearest chap, because he was the sole being that had given birth to physical means of death. Then for the time afterward he perfected the art so when sparring with another gentleman he would not give in to fatigue and ultimately lose his very life.
After he had completed collecting his funds from the defeated enemies in an organized rectangular arena used for the means of combat, he proceeded to purchase two of the same species from the animalia kingdom located on the planet Earth which then he continued to guide them in an organized manner onto a relatively large vessel, where he proceeded to beat them senselessly for reasons unknown.
And since that day in history any time a significant amount of animals are in a single area of space it's referred to as a facility used for the means of storing wild animals for public use.
Except for the instance that the animals are stored on a privately owned plot of land where they are used for organic products, in which case that would be a farm.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ouERs5oe6a8
"Get aquainted with the professional of demolitions"
You ask in a rather inquisitive tone as to the nature of my being a Demoman of utmost quality.
If my status as a demolitions expert was in a declining state, I would not be seated in this non-descript warehouse of unknown origin, holding an extended interview and about the nature of my expertise, is that not true?
Harken my brethren colored the shade at the far end of the visable electromagnetic spectrum of light, in the opposite direction as violet, let us move foward in a forceable manner.
A brief message to all upon the team opposed to that of my own, you shall all perish in a timely manner, with not a single survivor remaining to tell the gruesome tale.
A single electrical transport mechanism in the form of an elongated piece of metal that has overlapped another in a way that was unintentional, a small ammount of the explosive compound containing potassium, a highly reactive alkali metal, and chlorine, a deadly poisonus gas in the halogen family of elements, and one microscopic movement akin to that of a small muscle spasm, and everything will explode in a spectacular manner.
One of my optical receptors on the frontside of my face is defective. I am of african descent, as well as from the island of Scottland westward of England and refer to myself as a one-eyed beast from Greek mythology.
In the world, there appear to be more [Dialog missing] then there are citizens in the world with a similar physical structure as me.
Indeed.
A message to all of those who are indeed quite well endowed and as a result take pride in their fortune, who tend to bound about merrily in a manner that is not unlike a young schoolgirl with upper body regions containing many spherical light sensative organs with the purpose of forming complex images to be interpreted by the brain, I invite you to come forth with haste and attempt to capture and or kill me, as I shall lie in wait while the scent of burning sulfur is in the air. Some might refer to me as a tale of unfortunate origin with a rather dissappointing ending.
It appears as if you have suffered an unfortunate run-in with my explosive devices, and as such you will have to be put back together with adhesives applied delicately... In the mythical underworld.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HbxT4F5LOnU
"A Pre-Organised Encounter With a Constructor and Maintenance Operator of Mechanical Constructions"
Focus your eyes to my visage. I am a manufacturer and maintenance supervisor of mechanical constructions.
To elaborate on my position as a member of society, that is to say that my occupation involves the finding of a solution to a perplexing complication that may assail myself or others.
However, the conundrums I resolve do not include, for example, a question such as "What would be a satisfactory definition of the concept of an individual's physical attractiveness?"
For such an inquest would be counted among those as would be more befitting of a student of philosophy to answer.
The conundrums which I resolve are those which are useful to everyday occurrences.
I pose an example: How would a person of similar skill and available resources as myself be able to prevent a large enemy combatant with bloodthirsty disposition from committing an act of violence on my person which would result in the creation of an orifice within my flesh akin to that of a second, structurally unconnected and thus useless rectum?
The solution which I pose is thus: the utilisation of an automated firing mechanism. However, if this solution proves woefully inadequate, the logical conclusion would be to use a larger and more powerful automated firing mechanism.
Such as this highly-powered, although structurally small automated firing mechanism mounted upon a support with three points striking the ground; this construction having been concieved and assembled, from the first sketches to its placement on the battlefield, solely by the one who is now addressing you, that is to say, myself.
So, for the sake of your physical health and the mental stability of your comrades-in-arms and significant others, it would be wise to be optimistic in expectation and wish that this powerful weapon of dismemberment and destruction is not facing a direction with which it is capable of firing on yourself.
Farewell.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ja-7IRj1Mwc&feature=related
"The Verbose Barnacle"
PAT - The title of this light-hearted and most amusing narrative is "A marine crustacean of the subclass Cirripedia, which, to its own misfortune, was quite repugnant."
In long-past archaic days of old, there existed A marine crustacean of the subclass Cirripedia which, to its own misfortune, was quite repugnant. This creature was, indeed, so horridly repulsive, sickening and grotesque, that, alas, the fate that had befallen those unfortunate enough to gaze upon its nightmarishly ghastly visage, was an agonizingly lengthful and tormenting demise. And, that, my friend, is the conclusion of this cautionary tale.
SB - My sincerest apologies, my most cherished of acquaintances, but I am afraid that this anecdote did not assist in comforting my dour mood. In all honesty, it has succeeded in worsening my woeful disposition, although your gallant efforts of consoling me in my hour of need are most appreciated.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g3lo90ElO9Q&feature=related
"The Posh Mothershuckling Dangle Dongler Hour"
Mario - How very charitable of her majesty to summon us to a social
gathering of prepared foods and open-handed cordiality, regardless
of the immense difference in our societal statuses.
Luigi - I aspire that her royal highness prepared a plentiful amount
of authentic Italian noodles smothered in tomato paste and garnished
with onions and balls of concentrated hamburger meat!
Mario - My fellow portly companion-- Gaze yonder! It's a menacing
memorandum scribbled on a tattered and torn piece of chemically processed mulch. Harken to me ye nettlesome vexatious laborers of one's occluded sewage waste aqueducts! How much for the flipping Gidrovlicheskiy? Your beloved vegetative sovereignty has been liquidated in a forcible manner, and the aristocratic monarch you resolutely succor has been seized in a physical fashion! Her queenship is now a perennial bedfellow at one of my many
diabolical caravansary establishments! I encourage you to attempt to facilitate her rescue in a timely manner! We must ferret out and pinpoint the precise location of our venerated crowned head!
Luigi - And you must offer unto us your resolute and unwavering
assistance-- Even in the face of irreversible mutilation and
unspeakable tortures; which will no doubt befall you in even the
best of outcomes!
Mario - If you identify yourself in necessitation of textual
enlightenment, please differ your deliberations to the encased
circumscribed literature which may be perused at whatever pace
you deem comfortable!
(That's only part of it. Watch the video to get the rest.)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wz_K1Gjrx8c&feature=watch_response_rev
"A Pompous Portrayal of Paradoxical Propriety"
Link: Oh my goodness! This atmosphere is lacking any fesitivites that may provide entertainment for someone like myself.
The King: My young son, this armisitice is what all true paladins endeavour for throughout the course of their lives.
Link: I'm just wondering what that Ganon fellow is doing at this point in time.
Gwonam: Your royal highness, Ganon and his cohorts have forcibly taken control of the island coloquially known as Koridai.
The King: How can we be of assistance at this point in time?
Gwonam: It is enscribed on this piece of parchment, that I hold in my hands, that only the young boy named Link can bring a violent demise to that rap-scallion who calls himself Ganon.
Link: Revelations! I shall gather my effects at once.
Gwonam: Time is of the essence! Your sharp, pointed armament is sufficient.
Link: How about a quickie? For luck?
Zelda: Surely you jest. The difference in our social classes is too far apart.
Gwonam: Squadallah! And we have embarked on our journey of truly epic proportions.
Link: Holy hand grenades, Batman! What are all those spherical objects that resemble a human cranium?
Gwonam: These are the faces of diabolically dastardly evil creatures not yet known to the world. Except for Dick Cheney. He knows about them. You must overcome every one of these things in a massive show of force.
Link: I assume now that I should embark on this endeavour.
Gwonam: Here is the atlas of the local area. Where do you wish to travel to?
"Sir Zero Inquires For The Purpose Of Which He Avidly Partakes In The Nature Of Battle"
Zero - Fellow companion whose name I address as a placeholder of a vegetation genus, of which is popular in privately owned gardens, containing two hundred sixty beings of flowering plants, a circular, often colored, structure of an organ that commonly detects light about one's space to translate into electro-chemical impulses in neurons, of which is consistently named the "eye", and also the Greek noun for "rainbow" of whom I entitle Iris!
Iris, praytell, I declare to you!
Iris - Dearest colleague whose name suggests an absence or null in quantity or number, Zero.
Zero - Fair Iris, I request that you persevere in your dire struggle for life against the ill impetus of bereavement that which works against and hinders our honest will.
Iris - Invaluable Zero, I entreaty that you may become stray of the decently sized organization of well-rounded combatants, of which we conventionally dub the "Repliforce", in order for well being that you, good Zero, and I, Iris, may eternally correspond as one, intertwined in relation to our deep affection, and pursue our wonderous days conjointedly in a grande domain of which only the beings of Reploids may thrive in the merriment of life.
Zero - I continue to treasure your intelligence and discourse, cherished Iris; however, I can only allow myself to correct you in that this domain destined for only us Reploids of which you so articulate is one of a so-called fairy tale, a fictional saga that most likely features elements not achievable in the physical realm and may be considered by some childish, absurd, feebleminded, unreasonable, and an improper use of time.
Iris - That which you speak of is undoubtedly correct, and although I fullheartedly understand this situation of which you had foretold, I ever so wished to concatenate it with my dearest creeds; I ever so wished to remain in an environment dominated by only Reploids... beside my dearest companion; you, beloved Zero.
Zero - Precious, treasured Iris!
Iris - (exasperated indicator, in this situation signifying the toll of fatality)
Dearest Iris!
Iris!
Fairest Iris...!
Iriiiiss!
Aaaaaaaaahhhh!
Nay, I refuse the undesired outcome of dissonant chance that has been brought before me!
As thus, I am not able to ascertain myself to promote my presence and vitality!
For this, I can only inquire... inquire for the purpose of which I avidly partake in the nature of battle!
"Presenting Madame Zelda in the Upper-Class Dialect"
King: Exclamations, Zelda! Duke Onklet has become a victim of Ganon seeking to exercise his evil ambitions, and as such, I must depart and make haste to begin my journey to Gamelon in order to provide utmost urgent assistance in order to advocate him!
Zelda: I must protest, father, as a thought struck in my mind that a disastarous event, such as going through atrocious tortures, offensive betrayal, perhaps even the extremes of treason, may occur to the likes of you!
King: Do not fret, as God's hand will escort me so long as I chaperon the Triforce of True Courage and Fortitude to insulate me from those of the unpleasant wrongdoers! In the unlikely event that one does not communicate back, I urge you to despatch Link with Godspeed!
Zelda: Oh, Elderly servant Impa, I require an answer in an instant to counsel me!
Impa: Such anxieties will not be necessary Zelda, as the Triforce of Wisdom holds sacred word that His Royal Highness shall rejoinder to us, unharmed without a scratch or a speck of dust!
King: I request you to halt your absurd talk of plot revelation! It appears that my fleet shall embark on this journey of epic proportions when Ante Meridiem commences. In the meantime, my curiosity beckons me to question, what shall be served in tonight's banquet of large feasts and delightful treats that define the separation of classes within our society, or lack there of?
Link: I express joy as my stomach yearns to consume so much, with disregards to the lesser fortunate of those people of our country, that I am willing to digest an undefined material which one describes as an Octaron!
[One month later]
Zelda: Alas! Woe is me, the month has retired as a new day comes, with further lack of news for that of His Majesty's most recent pursuits!
Impa: I am most undoubtful that he is currently in an adequate condition, seeing as he most likely has not encountered tortures, offensive betrayal, perhaps even the extremes of treason!
Link: In agreement to the previous statement, I believe the antique Ganon has very little chance of outwitting the divine King, and I emphasize my words with my gesture of frail arms with much impotence!
Zelda: Link, I command thou must physically proceed to Gamelon single-handedly in order to begin the search of my missing father, and bring back discovery in good fortunes.
Link: Utmost brilliance! I have become impatient from my lack of activities, and as such, I am unwilling to endure myself from propelling explosive devices towards open air, causing many injuries and casualties towards what I name "Dodongos" along the process!
[Later still]
Zelda: Open to alertness, Impa, as I interrupt your unconsciousness! I have conjectured, undiplomatically, that we too should jump onto the bandwagon and venture off to Gamelon in order to be featured in our very own little plot!
Impa: Very well, my pleasant one, so long as you allow me to take with us the Triforce of Spoilers so that we do not find ourselves in situations where plot twists are involved, though they are next to impossible to be found!
[Skipping to the end]
Ganon: How very rude of you to visit my humble abode and present me with this device that contains electromagnetic visible radiation! I command your compulsory death to come swiftly after I strike you with atmospheric discharge of electricity!
[And then after the "battle"...]
Ganon: Heaven strike me, I am being ambushed by a metallic structure made of connected links of 20% gold and 80% aluminium! However, surely I will not struggle to sequel despite my easy defeat, as your scruffy book shall not contain me for eternity!
[after a long bit of wait here...]
Zelda: About time, you bloody piece of no-good paternal figure! Abandoning your kingdom and leaving your only daughter to rescue you from the ill-fated Ganon!
King: Thou hast conserved me from atrocious tortures, offensive betrayal, perhaps even the extremes of treason!
Dude: I present you the disloyal double-crosser bastard who almost sinks down to the lows of a male version of a cuckold, whom you foolishly befriended as your brethren, your Royal Highness!
Onkled: Oh Lord Almighty, do not deny or refuse me, and be willing to pardon me and present benevolence upon me despite my unjustified doings!
King: Perhaps when I condemn you into enforced slavery for you to put up with unspeakable labour, such as scrubbing all the floors in Hyrule, and then proceeding to work in our newly-opened male brothel without being given currencies accepted as exchange for goods, and should you live past that, come to the revelation that I have exchanged secret relations with your mother, that I shall present you my utmost benevolence. Now do away with this trash bag before my mind becomes ill of his sight!
Dude: As you wish, my federate!
Zelda: I have been thinking, and pondering within these few seconds, what occurrence has fate decided for Link's poor damned soul to be placed within this world?
[Name unknown]: His presence always had a monotonous tone to it and he never interested me at the slightest!
Zelda: I urge you to cease gaping at one's reflected image, as I now take your mirror in a very unlady-like manner and cause damage to your property by propelling it against this brick wall!
Link: What recent events have passed before I somehow materialized back conveniently at this very moment, without any explanation as to my whereabouts during the period of "Later Still" where I had not made any efforts to search for your father or bring back any news in haste?
Zelda: I am humoured by your unexplained mystery. Whilst flicking my awful and untamed hair in a very odd fashion, I shall lie to you and say that nothing really happened over the course of this period - in fact, we were about to set up a banquet with plenty of Octarons served and we almost forgot that you had not returned, as we showed no regards to your disappearance!
Link: Utmost brilliance!
Zelda/King: Ha Ha ha ha ha ha ha!
The cow went. Then the cow WENT on the neighbors lawn. Then the neighbor WENT on the the cow. Then a bulldozer came and ate everyone. A meal filled me up but was it the cow? The cyclops looked under sheep to find a mean hero who had stabbed his eye. But the world eater consumed himself AND Thor, god of thunder. But who knows? Will Emily will choose Jeff or Sean? I cannot survive long enough to eat this bread, but I will take a dive in the pool for llamanity.
Read my story The Core Wars. ._.
Random advertising is random.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QgQuNMrbSUc
(I just moved to my Steam account.)
Random? More like ran-dumb! HAR HAR HAR HAR HAR HAR
PURPLE PANKAKES TROLOLOLOLOLOLOLO DID IM METION IM A F'n DRAGON
MRTECHNODRAGON =^,..,^=
When you cut a tree the sap comes out kind of like it is bleeding. I often wonder if it also feels the pain.
????????????????????????..............................................................................>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>.............................................###############################################%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%$$$$$$$$$$$$$$???????!!!!!!!?!?!!?!?!? (subject)
????????????????????????..............................................................................>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>.............................................###############################################%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%$$$$$$$$$$$$$$???????!!!!!!!?!?!!?!?!? (subject)
????????????????????????..............................................................................>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>.............................................###############################################%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%$$$$$$$$$$$$$$???????!!!!!!!?!?!!?!?!? (subject)
Grandpa: Lets sing a song, childrens!
Childrens: YEEEAAAHHH!
All: I'M A DWARF AND I'M DIGGING A HOLE, DIGGY DIGGY HOLE, I'M DIGGING A HOLE. 500X
*The grandpa starts to sing harder until he died and accidently fall into the river*
Childrens: GRANDPA IS SLEEPING WITH THE FISHES!!!
***************THE END***************
Fish heads fish heads,
Roly poly fish heads,
Fish heads fish heads,
Eat them up yum
Fish heads fish heads,
Roly poly fish heads,
Fish heads fish heads,
Eat them up yum
In the morning,
Laughing happy fish heads,
In the evening,
Floating in the soup,
Fish heads fish heads,
Roly poly fish heads,
Fish heads fish heads,
Eat them up yum
Ask a fish head,
Anything you want to,
They won't answer,
They can't talk
Fish heads fish heads,
Roly poly fish heads,
Fish heads fish heads,
Eat them up yum
I took a fish head,
Out to see a movie,
Didn't have to pay
To get it in
Fish heads fish heads,
Roly poly fish heads,
Fish heads fish heads,
Eat them up yum
They cant play baseball,
They dont wear sweaters,
There not good dancers,
They dont play drums
Fish heads fish heads,
Roly poly fish heads,
Fish heads fish heads,
Eat them up yum
Roly poly fish heads are never seen
Drinking cappucino in Italian resturants,
With oriental women, yeah
Fish heads fish heads,
Roly poly fish heads,
Fish heads fish heads,
Eat them up yum
Fish heads fish heads,
Roly poly fish heads,
Fish heads fish heads,
Eat them up yum, (yum!)
Fish heads fish heads,
Roly poly fish heads,
Fish heads fish heads,
Eat them up yum
Fish heads fish heads,
Roly poly fish heads,
Fish heads fish heads,
Eat them up yum,
Yea..
The cow with a green ward(the hospital type ward) decided to kill a blue kitchen counter with sofa puree mixed with a glass of ice. The sofa puree decided to tranmogrify itself into a mango which Iamnoone ate and turned into 5 leaves of an oak tree which duplicated till there was 3489234652498356324895634874365245 oak leaves which Artistbma decided to un-duplicate to 394805720 leaves which then ate a knife after stabbing Dammasta in the ear. Dammasta became so angry he made Apple Pie which always cools him down when he is angry. Iamnoone stole the Pie and Dammasta killed him with the weapon in this link
Donaudampfschiffahrtsgesellschaft is what I said about that and I am 99% sure Artistbma secretly admires me for my ability to have such random sentences.
I created the things below using the random sentence generator in the link above.(random sentences)
A helmet cheats behind the lifestyle.
A choral jails another objective inside the persecuted requisite.
How can a beer organize the furry opera?
Over the working comedy appears the firm coke.
Your cider leans around a bath.
When will the preview fiddle above a simple sentence?
The prior deaf angers my circle.
A minor arches a counterpart.
The shout deprives the mint cloud.
¬ Sppw (the overworked pit boss who is the master of random sentences)
okokokokokokOK!
too much randomness -_-
ill just say this:ANGRY BIRDS!
The polite leaf guards the flying science
The requested diary obscures a human patent.
The tailor bashes another static mass under this fog.
mother:Hey kids,cookies!!!
kids:cookies,cookies,cookies,cookies!!
random guys:i like trains.
*all people stare stop and look at kid*
*Train runs over the random guy*
TROLOLLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL
If a pizza is a pizza because it is pi, why is a sicilian pizza sicilian instead of a squarzza?
Now my little ponies; we will ride the rainbow bridge, conquer the world, and enslave ALL IT'S INHABITANTS!!! >:)
Today is the day we take what is ours! Today we triumph!
A special thank you for the 2012 London summer Olympic games for making this happen.
The Macabre Tragedy of Stuart Pickles at Four o'Clock Ante Meridian
Diane: I say! Do my eyes deceive me, or do I recognize the presence of my beloved husband, Stuart? You're whereabouts in the food preparation chamber is uncanny, especially in light of your typical diurnality. May I inquire as to what undertakings you currently endeavor?
Stuart: Fret not, my inseparable wife. For my most unusual diversion is out of best interest for my well-being even if it is in exchange for sleep deprivation. I am submitting my best efforts into whisking together, with mesmerizing and repetitive anti-clockwise strokes, a combination of domestic cattle milk, sugar, chocolate flavouring, and various coagulating starches for my bed-ridden niece and mistress Angelica, who will irrefutably maim or perhaps even castrate me should I not attend to her divine will.
Diane: I am aware that I am but an enfeebled woman and cannot forcibly relocate you into our bedchamber as to prevent any further malarkey involving the overindulgence of your elder and more affluent brother Lord Andrew's iniquitous offspring. However, I question your newfangled nocturnal, yet somewhat appetizing habits, as it is currently four of the clock ante meridian Pacific Standard Time. This, of course, is an absurd time frame in our society for the production of dessert items. Pray tell, why have you degraded yourself to this extent on the behalf of pudding?
Stuart: I portray monotonous melancholy in announcing that since the very moment my estimable brother and Lady Charlotte departed to visit hydrological spectacles of much velocity and turbulence in distant lands, my feeble and tattered soul has been vigorously seized in milady's clutches, who, by using her skeletal injury to justify her dubious deeds, swears to proceed to exploit me as long as I am in a plight of emotional deterioration. As such, Angelica has interdicted me from embodying the spirit of anything but one of a trifling and irreclaimable existence.
Angelica: I am delightfully amused by the abominable savagery and sexually suggestive material broadcasted in this adult-oriented motion picture, which could only be procurable when the moon arrives at the position denoting that it is four hours past the termination of the witching hour.
Stuart: My Grace, please pardon the interruption of your enjoyment of this age-inappropriate and most indubitably pornographic televised program. I am gratified, but only on the surface, to present to your nightly non-essential source of plaque-inducing carbohydrates in the form of a cocoa bean based desert with a creamy consistency. In addition, please disregard the dearth of hot tea and crumpets.
Angelica: Thoughtful uncle and slave, I reassure you that despite my dire necessity for nourishment by virtue of insalubrious sweets prior to four of the clock ante meridian, at this moment I am no longer famished and can persist in recuperating from my fractured tibia in this location in absence of any further assistance from you as my blood-related, yet inferior and half-witted indentured servant.
Stuart: This is bollocks and poppycock!
Mama Luigi
(Open to scene of Dinosaur Island and dissolve to scene of Vanilla Dome and zoom in.)
Yoshi: Aww, do I have to go to bed so soon?
(Luigi carries Yoshi to his bed and puts him in.)
Luigi: Well like they say in Brooklyn, early to bed early to get the worm, or is it the bagel?
(Yoshi licks his lips.)
Yoshi: Mmm, worms good, tell Yoshi bedtime story now, tell Yoshi about the time Luigi find Yoshi, and Yoshi rescue princess.
Luigi: Okay okay, well it all started when Mario, the princess, and I came to Dinosaur Island for our vacation.
(Dissolve to scene of Mario and co. entering a deserted Dome City.)
Luigi (narrating): We banished King Koopa from the Mushroom Kingdom, but he somehow managed to make it to Dinosaur Island, and when we got there the place was deserted. Koopa football players nabbed the princess, and Mario was attacked by a Magnum Bill, and I found myself face to face with a Fire Sumo.
(While Luigi is narrating, Chargin' Chucks run out of a hut and grab the princess, a Banzai Bill chases Mario, and a Fire Sumo opens up a hole in the ground and Luigi falls in.)
Luigi: AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!
Luigi (narrating): I fell for hours.
(Dissolve to scene of story Luigi still falling.)
Yoshi: Oooh, hours long time.
Luigi (narrating): Well it seemed like hours. I would've been a gonner if it weren't for a magic balloon.
(Luigi lands on a P balloon and temporarily inflates. Then he pops and continues falling.)
Luigi (narrating): There was nothing below me but a lava waterfall. Luckily I landed on a skull raft.
Yoshi: Oh, skulls mean bad medicine.
Luigi (narrating): But these skulls were GOOD medicine for me. But unfortunately that all came to an end when it reached a lava waterfall.
(Luigi falls off the waterfall and lands on a small island.)
Luigi (narrating): I lucked out and landed on a small island.
Yoshi: Luigi bash blocks now.
Luigi: How do you know?
(Luigi starts hitting blocks and catching coins. A Yoshi egg appears.)
Yoshi: Luigi find Yoshi egg.
(Story Luigi catches the egg and the egg hatches in his hands and a baby Yoshi appears.)
Baby Yoshi: Mama.
Luigi: Huh?
(Change back to scene of Yoshi's bed.)
Yoshi: Yoshi think Luigi mama AH HA HA HA HA HA!
Luigi: Yeah well I didn't think it was so funny.
(Dissolve back to story. Story Luigi is carrying baby Yoshi, who starts crying.)
Baby Yoshi: Waaaaaaaah!
Luigi: Aw what's the matter baby, ya hungry?
Baby Yoshi: Ah ah ah ah mama Luigi.
(Baby Yoshi stops and they are confronted by two mean dinosaurs.)
Luigi: Are you this baby's parents? Well here ya go, fed and burped.
Baby Yoshi: Mama Luigi, Mama Luigi!
Purple Dinosaur: Mmmm, Yoshi sir good meal, smells good.
(Luigi picks up Baby Yoshi and runs before the dinosaurs bite at them.)
Luigi: Get back you devious dinos, you're dealing with a licensed plumber here.
Purple Dinosaur: Ha ha ha, we plumbers too.
(The dinosaurs lunge at the pair. Luigi hops over a Blargg and into a pipe which goes into a lake.)
Baby Yoshi: Aww!
Luigi: Don't worry Yoshi sir, I'll get us to the surface.
(They swim past a Rip Van Fish, which begins chasing them into a tunnel, and after a while it falls asleep. Then then they evade Porcu-Puffer-like fish, then they exit the tunnel.)
Luigi: See Yoshi sir, there's nothing in the water to be scared about. Except that!
(Luigi gets chased to the surface by a Torpedo Ted, which begins to gain on them.)
Luigi: I don't think we're gonna make it!
(Story Luigi is then lifted into the air by dolphins.)
Luigi: Dolphins.
(With the help of the dolphins story Luigi and baby Yoshi reach dry land.)
Luigi: Thanks for the lift!
(The dolphins swim away.)
Luigi: Okay Yoshi, you stay here while I dry off my hat.
(While story Luigi wrings off his hat, baby Yoshi's curiosity of the big world around him drives him away.)
Luigi: *gasp* Yoshi!
(Luigi finds Baby Yoshi in the Forest of Illusion.)
Luigi: No no no Yoshi poo, don't run off like that, you'll get lost.
(They're then confronted by five caterpillars.)
Luigi: Mario, wherever you are, HELP ME!
Yoshi: Wow, Yoshi love this part.
(Change back to scene of Yoshi's bed.)
Luigi: Hey, who's telling the story?
(Dissolve back to scene of Forest of Illusion.)
Luigi (narrating): Anyway, so there we were, trapped by five caterpillars
Baby Yoshi: Oh, Yoshi hungry.
Luigi: This isn't the time to be thinking about food, Yoshi.
Baby Yoshi: Oh, Yoshi eat now!
(Baby Yoshi hops out of Luigi's arms and starts eating the caterpillars, one by one.)
Luigi: Wow, this little dino makes Mario look like he's on a diet.
(Baby Yoshi finishes his last meal when Mario appears.)
Mario: Hey Luigi, I heard you call for help. Is this little dinosaur the cause of all your trouble? I'll take care of him for you. Begone you little reptile.
(Baby Yoshi eats Mario.)
Mario (in Baby Yoshi's stomach): Hey, let me outta here!
Luigi: Hey, that's my brother, Yoshi!
(Baby Yoshi spits Mario out.)
Baby Yoshi: Mama Luigi!
Mario: Mama? Mama Luigi AH HA HA HA HA HA!
Luigi: Hey, quit it!
Mario: Luigi, King Koopa has the princess locked up in his Neon Castle. We gotta get there to save her.
(Dissolve to scene of the Mario Brothers and baby Yoshi entering Neon Castle, which is dark.)
Mario: Wow, it's dark in here.
(Luigi eyes a high up block.)
Luigi: Hey Mario, I think I found the light switch!
(Luigi jumps up but can't reach it.)
Luigi: Hey Mario, give me a boost!
Mario: OKAY! Yoshi, stay here.
(Luigi jumps again and Mario flings him higher into the air so he can turn on the light.)
Mario: There. Where's Yoshi?!
(They run off and the song Looking For You begins.) [Lyrics added by Hip.]
First you're here
And then you're not
You never seem to stay in one spot
I'm looking (looking)
Looking for you
I try to keep up as best I can
I wanna be there if you need a hand
I'm looking (looking)
Looking for you
I'm just one step behind
Oh why are you
So hard to find?
I've looked high
And I've looked low
You know that everywhere I go
I'm looking (looking)
Looking for you
Looking (looking)
Looking for you
Looking (looking)
Looking for you
(During the song they see Baby Yoshi next to a Bowser statue, which shoots fireballs at them. Baby Yoshi licks them up, the statue moves, and baby Yoshi goes into the room behind it. The Marios go into that room to see baby Yoshi hopping through a hall with flattening objects in it. Luigi saves Baby Yoshi but gets flattened. Mario rolls up the flattened Luigi. Baby Yoshi enters the next room and before they enter, Mario sees a P Balloon and reflates Luigi with it. Then Baby Yoshi hops through a fence and the Marios enter to see baby Yoshi near a Chargin' Chuck. They climb over the fence and jump on the Chargin' Chuck before it grabs baby Yoshi, just to see it split into three more Chargin' Chucks and have them clobber him and Luigi. Baby Yoshi licks up and spits out the Chargin' Chucks and enters the next room. The song ends and the Marios get up and follow baby Yoshi into the room, Bowser's throne room. Baby Yoshi hides underneath the throne and the Marios enter. They don't see baby Yoshi and enter the next room. Once they leave baby Yoshi starts gorging himself at the decorations. King Koopa approaches the Marios with five Mechakoopas and chases them back into the throne room. The Marios see baby Yoshi rubbing his tummy and sitting in the spot where the throne used to be. Then King Koopa enters the throne room, sees everything's gone, and does a jaw drop, then picks it up.)
King Koopa: My throne! My throne room! You'll pay for this plumbers!
(The Mechakoopas approach the Mario Brothers.)
Mario: Be careful Luigi, these dragon robots can eat you alive.
Baby Yoshi: Aww, robots no eat Luigi. Yoshi eat robots.
(One by one the Mechakoopas disappear into naby Yoshi's mouth.)
King Koopa: That dino twerp is eating me out of house and home!
Mario: Hey Luigi, I didn't know you were bringing a secret weapon.
Luigi: That's Mama Luigi to you.
Mario: All right Koopa, give us the princess, or Yoshi here will eat your castle piece by piece until we find her!
King Koopa: I can build another castle, but you can't build another princess. Without this key you'll never find her.
(Baby Yoshi swipes the key from Bowser's hand with his tongue.)
King Koopa: I'll be back, and when I am that little dino brat is going on a crash diet.
(King Koopa leaves down a pipe.)
Luigi: Yay, Yoshi you did it! Uh, you didn't swallow the key did you?
Baby Yoshi: Aww, key no taste good.
(Yoshi spits the key into a keyhole, which transports them back to Dome City.)
Luigi (narrating): And that's how we managed to rescue the princess, thanks to you, Yoshi.
(While Luigi is narrating, in the story the princess gives the Marios and baby Yoshi one kiss each, then once Luigi stops talking, dissolve to scene of Luigi overlooking Yoshi sleeping.)
Luigi: Good night Yoshi.
Yoshi: Good night. Mama Luigi.
Luigi: Huh?
Also /B/ tell me if you get the joke.
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As of yet, no one has given me a good reason for braille key pads to be on the ATMs at bank drive-thrus. Now this isn't just one bank. They all have them. Are there really that many blind people driving cars? :/