Finally a second page Q.Q
Lighting the Shadows (Fanfic: Apps are closed)
Sat, 06/01/2013 - 07:43
#52
YES!
Sat, 06/01/2013 - 08:05
#53
Whooo!!!
Hurrah for the new page! (and the new chapter, it's good. Keep it up!)
Btw when will Forrower show his powers?
Sat, 06/01/2013 - 10:27
#54
Its quite hard...
His powers are dark....and shadow.... he'd be quite ineffective with dealing with these things but i think i have an idea...
Sat, 06/01/2013 - 16:44
#55
Yay
Can't wait for more, just keeps getting better and better (and scarier)!
Sat, 06/01/2013 - 17:51
#56
A tinkerer's flame.
I might use an app I made before for another fanfic for dis one! Just gotta think of a supernatural power or something like that, seeing as that seems to be the theme here, hehe.
Sat, 06/01/2013 - 18:15
#57
You don't have to lol
Title=ditto
Sat, 06/01/2013 - 18:23
#58
A tinkerer's flame.
I didn't say I WOULD :3
Sat, 06/01/2013 - 22:35
#59
its funny....
Oohhh...sounds interesting, i'm a bit interested on seeing what you come up with. And i cant believe writers add to there fanfic once a week Q.Q.... I feel.... Very different.... and i have yet to see secrets of the clockworks rise from the depths. Unless your making an extremely long post Hex, there should be some more added to it.
Sat, 06/01/2013 - 22:45
#60
This is awesome :O
This is awesome :O
Sat, 06/01/2013 - 23:04
#61
I'm sorry...
I'm too busy lately Critzer, but I promise, I will work on it, and I also have a big plan in mind, but for now, with my final exams coming up and big projects due, I don't have the time that I can use to write it, but yours, please take whatever time you feel is necessary to write it, it's coming along fantastically, speaking of which I'm unfortunately still too busy to even edit your sections, but I will do all that you long for Critzer, thanks for being such a great long term supporter. :)
Mon, 06/03/2013 - 10:44
#62
Next part :3
Hmm:3
I can't wait for coolbluex to finish my commission, itll be so amazing, you'll get a feel for what Critzer looks like :3
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As Graft shivers in place, he slowly adds a bit more ice to the barrier. He could hear his bones rattling in the though of what it would have done to him. Grafts shivering and fear soon affects the air in around the fire, making it slightly colder. No one in the area feels the slight change except one. Critzer shivers as she sleep and curls into a ball. As the change becomes slightly more, she begins to rustle before eventually waking up "Why is it so bloody cold...?" She heats up the air around her and goes over to graft. She feels the air around him is drastically different from where she was sleeping. As she approaches him, he puts up his arm and has his hand out, palm facing her, indicating for her to stop where she is. She looks at him, puzzled as to why and she pops the question "Why....?" She then notices the older man shivering, "The old man of the cold is shivering" she thought. He then points to the spot where the glop was and she notices the little bits of it that were left behind, frozen on the wall and also dieing from the light hitting it. He stops shivering as he shakes himself a bit and walks over to her, pulling himself close to her ear and whispering "That..... stuff....tried to break through the wall Critzer... Do not go near the wall with your.... Heating.... Fire... Or your other stuff.... Until we leave...." She slightly shivers from the thought, as well as Graft chilling the air around her, but mainly from the thought. She nods to him and walks over to the unknown figure still on the ground. She, like all who have looked upon he or she, cannot tell their gender.
Critzer looks around the lit area and spots Spark and Difi talking. Critzer walks over to the both of them "Helloooo.... So whose this little one Spark....?"
Before Spark could say a word Difi jumps up and speaks "My name is Difi.... And you are Critzer if i'm correct... Well I am a medic and well.... I dont... do to much... fighting..." She sulks away as she notices the slightly menacing arsenal of weapons that Critzer carries, as well as the heat vibrating off of her. Spark as well pulls back as Difi beats her to the introduction. The moment becomes silent as Difi and Spark sulking in their place. Critzer notices the slight change in mood and ignores it, asking another question "Hey Difi, do you happen to know who that person is or how you wound up here even though your a medic?"
Her question breaking the silence as Difi begins think to herself, trying to recall what happened. She looks up at Critzer "Well.... I needed to go get some supplies for medication and needed to go into the depths. The squad put me up with that person..." She points in the direction of the sleeping body "But they didn't talk much nor said much of anything to me.... But instead of going to the intended layer.... We found ourselves here... And then it goes.... Black... Just black and static after that..." She looks up at Critzer, wondering if she had helped her it her quest for knowledge on the matter of whats going on. Critzer only smiles at her and soon walks away, back towards the body, the only indication of her reacting to the explanation was her crimson hue growing darker. As Critzer approaches the person, they begin to move a bit, groaning in slight pain. Critzer plops down beside the person and faces them. The he/she begins to rustle a bit more but doesn't wake up until Critzer begins to shake he/she. The person wakes up with a slight groan and notices Critzer and begins to squint at her. Critzer squints back at the person, her fist clenching in the unsatisfying climax of waking the person up.
"Who are you?" asked the person, still staring at Critzer,
Critzer eases on the squinting but keeps staring at the person "My name is Critzer, now who are you?" Her voice ending sternly.
The person looks away in annoyance. Critzer snaps at the person in slight frustration "Young... Young... Young Whatever... Listen up.... i am trying to be nice and you are not helping, now please tell me who you are."
The he/she looks back at Critzer "Well.... My name is Eli.... And I cant see to well....now please.... Leave me alone..." Says Eli, pushing Critzer away only to feel a slight burn as they touch her. Eli looks at her hands, puzzled, then back at Critzer. Critzer snickers to herself and pulls herself closer, her face touching Eli's face shield of the helmet he/she wore. Critzer's voice stern like before, but with a pinch of insanity "Now listen here... child... Cooperate or you and I are going to have a major conflict.... I have no mercy for people who don't forgive the hand that feeds them.... And I never lose conflicts" She pulls her face away, but grips the chest part of Eli's armor and holds her other hand in front of their face. The hand contains a bright little flame, forcing Eli to close her eyes in slight pain and nod. Critzer gets up, pulling Eli up onto his/her feet and then cutting the flame "Good, i'm glad we could have this talk"
Critzer gets up and walks away towards Graft, Eli stomping his/her foot in protest, and scolds Critzer as she walks away. Eli jumps a bit as a hand touches his/her shoulder and looks back, noticing Forrower "Who are you?" Eli brushing forrower's hand off their shoulder and turning towards him. He looks at her and then back at Critzer with a smirk "Dont mind her, she is in a sense what is keeping us alive.... But if it wasn't for that, i'd have pushed her off an elevator a looooong time ago...." he chuckles a bit, Eli slightly snickering as well. They soon sit down and talk a little, talking to each other about each other's past and such. Forrower looks at Eli in shock as he/she explains his/her slight problem. He only laughs once he/she finishes, both of them looking at each other with respect.
Critzer ignores the chattering by the two in the distance as she confronts Graft again, her hot air mixing with his cold air to create a slight fog "Well...everyone is up and pretty much ready to go.." She says to him, a bit of excitement in her voice. Graft turns to her with a slight bit o confusion but then shrugs at it "Well.... first we have to get through this wall..... then out into the darkness again" She giggles to herself and moves away from graft slightly, once again he is confused. She snickers and gets in a certain stance as if she where bracing for something. All of a sudden a ball of fire appears in front of her and begins to edge close to the wall. As it reaches the wall, the wall begins to melt profusely, a large triangular hole forming as the heat rose and melted more of the wall above the fireball. As the ball of flame exits the premises of the protected area, in compresses into a bright ball and returns to Critzer, nuzzling it in glee. She grins at Graft who stare in slight shock, she sticks her tongue out at him "So much for your wall frosty" The others had gathered around while Critzer made her exit. She pointed forward and began to walk, exiting the walled area and the group followed.
but as the group formed around Critzer, and walked to the end of the layer, they noticed that more things were taking leaps of faith onto the light, letting out static distorted screes as they passed through the light, trying to snatch one of the groups. Spark initiated her full body spark like before and added a bit more light. As the group approached the end, a black long had reaches out and tries to grab Critzer but misses only to grab Difi as a substitute. it grabed her by the leg and pulled her from under herself, her body dropped to the floor as the hand began to drag her into the shadows. The group tryed to keep up before the hand pull her into the shadows. Difi's fingers digging into the ground, trying to stop "HELP MEEE!!!!" Her screams for helped ringed through the groups ears. Graft began to raise blades of ice trying to cut the hand. Each time the hand whipped into another direction avoiding the sharped edges. The glop hand let out static laughter with each miss. All of a sudden behind the group, another hand comes and grabs Forrower by the leg, pulling and dragging him around. Spark began to send large arks of electricity at the hand slightly missing the arm each time or shocking Forrower by accident. Critzer could only watch as she tried to increase her flame to extend the field of view but flame could only do so much. Soon enough the hands had pulled Difi into the shadows and Forrower. The group could hear Difi screaming in terror and angst before coming to a complete silence.
More hands came out, this time grabbing Eli, Graft, and Spark. Spark Reacted and let out an electrical discharge through the hand but the other two weren't so lucky. The other two where as well pulled into the darkness. All there was left was Critzer and Spark. Spark moved closer to Critzer and was shaking in slight terror. The Shadows around encroached upon the two girls quickly "Cri-Cri-Critzer! What...whats going to happen Critzer!" Spark's voice was filled with disbelief and terror. She looked at the ground as the shadows encroached even closer. Critzer was neither trembling nor shaking nor scared. Her eyes lit a blaze and the ground began to smolder and cook. The ground cracked and the darkness around screed from the heat but kept going. Critzer lifted her arms up but her head was down, her eyes where hidden but the light emitted from them was clearly visible. Her hands and arms began to move, as if she was playing a symphony, and she was, but her orchestra was not instruments. It was the screes of the monsters in the darkness that held her friends. The reason these monsters screamed in agony was only because tornadoes of flame sprouted from the points where she lifted her fingers as a maestro would to raise a note. She soon smiled as she twirled around each tornado pin-point and accurate. She began to glow with tremendous light. Critzer was in her element, the element was not flame but it was the battle between light and dark.
Spark looked in amazement at Critzer stood looking at her. she soon found a metal plate and got on it and started levitating above, watching over the performance. She soon began to act like a thunderstorm with no rain, shooting lightning where it was necessary, flashes of light showing where the others are. The screaming static intensifies as the symphony of flame and rain of lightning continues. Soon enough, the other fight back as well as they see what is grabbing them. Graft in-cases himself in pure ice and seals off the glop from touching him anymore, soon walking over to Critzer and panting, keeping the ice armor on. Forrower pulls out his Gran Faust and slices through the glop, then putting up a shield of shadow, preventing anything else from toughing him until he enters the light created by Critzer. Critzer and Spark now focus on getting Difi and Eli. Soon, the area is covered in flame and only small pockets of darkness remain, these of which Critzer closes in on, her light and sparks lightning making them ever so smaller. As the girls encroach on the last large pocket, Eli and Difi soon come into view, digging their fingers into the ground as the creature behind them tries to pull them in.
Critzer soon goes over to them but then past them, both looking at her in shock of what she is doing. Critzer lets out an evil giggle as twirls and does a curtsy before touching the arms of the thing pulling on the Difi and Eli. With each touch, the arm smolders ans a loud scree is heard coming from infort of Critzer. She soon comes up to what is in front of her, a large Blob of the dark glop comes into view. Many dark purple eyes cover the figure, it's pupils looking in multiple directions as Critzer gets closer and closer. She then pushes herself onto it, the blob letting out large screes of terror that could be heard as far as the surface. It pierces the groups ears and even Critzer's but she isn't affected. She is more intent on burning the living soul out of the blob. She then begins to laugh profusely and soon punches into the creature, her arm entering it with a slight squishy sound.
There is a few seconds of silence before Critzer looks at Forrower and waves with her eyes in glee and her smile wide. At that instant, the monster explodes into multiple dark bits and pieces, many of which are on fire. Critzer, being closest to the creature is practically covered in the glop, but soon scorches it off of herself. She soon puts her hand down and walks past the others, her eyes not happy but determined. She motions for everyone to follow her and for Spark to come down, which she does. Critzers speaks in a stern voice demanding attention and for the rest to follow "Lets go!" She doesnt have to hold a flame up any more during the rest of the walk to the elevator, as the area resembles to the burning palaces of Vanaduke. The group follows intently and submissively, Forrower the only one to do anything but walk, and that was shiver to himself as he imagined what would happen to him if he took her stuff.
As the group crammed onto the junction and the elevator headed down, a slight static like voice was heard by everyone. Everyone else looked around but only Graft and Critzer looked ahead. They both knew that this situation was not coincidental, there was no way that this was not in the order database, that this group up was by chance, and that this stuff would defeat them.
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Oh god...it just kept coming and going, sheesh!!
I hope you enjoyed this part and sorry for not posting yesterday, youtube took up my entire day.
Mon, 06/03/2013 - 22:32
#63
._.
I really don't understand Critzer anymore. Supposedly nice girl who can switch back and forth with a madman?
Meh, I already lost my motivation to read this. Spontaneous character changes...
Just seems kinda lazy to me.
Mon, 06/03/2013 - 23:56
#64
Missed this. Sorry, was focusing on the game.
Anyways, I liked how my character was acting. :3
Tue, 06/04/2013 - 10:51
#65
Hey... Hey Vinny... Guess what
Sounds like a personal problem.
Tue, 06/04/2013 - 15:29
#66
Well...
I hope you can hash that out. It'd be kinda weird to keep that dangerous of a flaw for too long...
Wed, 06/05/2013 - 18:00
#67
Why is this not on the front page?
Man oh man, Critzer, you never cease to surprise, but one thing, it's a bit strange how you write, because sometimes, it almost seems as if you're switching tenses, but w/e. And just another thing, can you add a "Edited be Hexlash" or something on the first post as well? :3
I'll get to editing if I EVER get the time, but IN the meantime...
-The elevator continues to go down, the haze of darkness encroaching on the elevator until it is entirely consumed by it. The three knights can just barely see one another even though they are only 2 feet from each other. Forrower has to move closer to Critzer so he can be seen by the other two. Graft shivers a bit in slight fear "At.... at the age of forty-five... I've seen a lot... even a child eating their own father to survive.... but never have I seen... this..." The comment sends shiver down everyone's spine. Critzer soon becomes anxious, creating a fireball in her hand to light the area around them a bit more. Graft jumps from the sudden heat but takes the heats as he would rather be safe than be comfortable. With a loud 'clunk', the elevator stops at the start area. The only problem is, the start area does not even have a barrier, making the group even more nervous. Forrower, a man of the shadows, also begins trembling like a leaf.
A blood riddled scream rips through the air, piercing everyone's ears. All trembling in fear of the shadows and the unknown. The two men instinctively huddle around the light source, which means they huddle around Critzer, staying extremely close to her where ever she goes.
"A-After I got my flame powers... I never thought I'd be afraid of the... d-dark... again...." Critzer whines, trembling like a leaf, the group slowly inching their way through the layer, inch by inch. All of them have some weapon out, Critzer with her Magma Driver, Graft with his Triglav, and Forrower with his Gran Faust. All of them standing at the ready if something bad pops into view. They all jump suddenly as they feel a whoosh of air, something is around them. It gives off a horrifyingly large amount of static sound (I'm literally giving myself goosebumps typing this, no joke). Critzer begins to feel more anxious, making the flame even bigger, her legs shaking in fear. They get a glimpse of what was going around them as their field of view is expanded, but it dashes out of the light quickly, letting out an unnatural scree of distaste towards the light.
Another scream rips through the air, throwing the groups mind into further panic from what it already was in. They have only now have made it 1/4th of the way through. Critzer begins to tighten up, less movement coming from her. She begins to whisper "I... I don't like the cold... I don't like the dark... the dark is cold... it's... s-scary..." She repeats this over and over again, her body shaking even more until she finally stops in her tracks, the two men turning their attention to her with great concern.
"Critzer... what's wrong...? Keep the light up please..." Forrower pleads.
"Keep up that flame girl...we will get through this... I.... I hope...." Forrower [Remove this when copying and pasting, but do you mean Graft?] says, uncertainty riddling his efforts to calm the girl. Critzer begins to weep out of angst and fear as both men fail to make her feel better. Both of her hands are fully on fire now, both covering her ears. She falls to her knees, chanting what she had said before.
At this time, the darkness begins to slowly fight back the light, moving in closer and close... and closer to them. Critzer begins to shake her head, her body now fully covered in fire, but this fire did not help light the area... it was the fire of fear. It had no help to the others as a light source, it was weak. All of a sudden, she stops crying, chanting and shaking. She gets up between the two others, pushing them to the very edge of the light. She stares blankly at the darkness, tilting her head to the side "Oh hello darkness.... it's nice to meet you again... let's ....play." At this point, she burst into flames, her body covered in a thick layer of pure scorching fire, pushing the darkness away from all three of them instantly. It exposes some of the dark creatures of the shadows, twisted and morphed, covered in a thick glob of the unknown.
Critzer's body continues to burn, the flame beginning to pull away from her body and create a figure, a tall and hefty figure. (This but more detailed and just a lot better Fire Titan) The figure begins to move, taking on a mind of its own, and begins whipping out flames into the distance, creating small fires. Once the flame creature is fully created, it stands before the three knights, creating an immense amount of light and heat; the heat only able to be felt if really close to it, however. With a raspy voice, she utters out "Hey Flamma..." She drops to her knees, passing out on floor in front of the two men, the titan still there. Graft and Forrower blink for a bit as to what they are looking at, the titan in turn nods to them. It points in the direction of where it had launched its flames earlier. Graft looks at the titan then at Critzer, he kneels down beside her and picks her up, her body extremely cold. He offers her to Forrower, who looks back at Graft curiously "Why...?"
Graft, with utter disgust, says as his face goes from concern to pure anger, " BECAUSE LOOK AT THE BLOODY SITUATION HERE! Her body is extremely cold, and I won't help her making it colder, you carry her." He forcefully places her on Forrower's shoulder, who grumbles madly to himself about what Graft said.
Graft looks at the titan "Will... she be okay...?" The titan nods in response and beckons them to hurry, his flame slowly getting weaker as time goes by. The scream that was heard before rings through the air again, this time, the two men figure out its a layer below them, and that it is a knight. As they progress the layer, they encounter no real threat, as everything tends to stay away from the titan and the light; which both men gladly stay in.
They reach the end of the layer, the titan on its last whiff of flame before it begins to burn out, the flame returning to Critzer slowly. Both Graft and Forrower jump on the elevator at the end before the titan runs out of life. As the elevator starts up and begins to move down, they hear yells and the static screes from before again. They were safe, even though they were now in darkness. Without Critzer, they had no light source. Then a flash of bright light comes from the layer below them. Forrower lays Critzer down and both men huddle around her to keep close. Graft whispers over to Forrower "I-I know we may not get along... but we both don't want to be alone here... so I have a plan..." He gulps "We push through that layer slightly blind, and find whoever is down there...." He places a hand on Forrower's head, only to feel him nodding his head urgently and respectfully.-
Thu, 06/06/2013 - 23:14
#68
Sorry
Hey guys, sorry for the inactivity, just slightly busy the past few days. Also, i recieved a bad language notification on SK. It basicly said i said some bad word on the forums but i dont know exactly what i said was bad, so if you guys happen to know please tell me. Thank you
Fri, 06/07/2013 - 21:51
#69
You said
You said 'breast', except in a much more 'passionate' way... You did that in the title of post #23, if it's not that, then I don't know. And If I somehow get in trouble I will be very confused >:C Also, sorry but no idea how to link posts. Hexlash's eyes glaze over. Derrrrp.
Sat, 06/08/2013 - 22:28
#70
@Hexlash
Click the post number. Like how yours is #69, mine is #70.
Once you click it, copy the link in the address bar, then do the anchor tag of < a href = "[insert link]" >[name]< /a >
Sun, 06/09/2013 - 02:53
#71
new chapter
As the elevator began to lower closer and closer to the next layer, it became slower and slower, making a screeching sound as it did, irritating the group. The irritation infected the group, which was already on anxious to leave this forbidden place. The sound seemed like it was the area that was now playing tricks on them and driving them to insanity. As the elevator slowly screeched to the next layer, the air around them thickened with a certain mist. Water particles had been contaminated with the glop, making many surfaces slimy and disgusting. Then came the static of the glop, as they were surrounded by it, it came with much intensity, slight words being called and recognized from the glop "Death lurks in the shadows..." Most of the group had gotten used to the static and didn't panic, only slight chills ran down their backs as a new phrase was identified. The two young ones though, Difi and Eli, where clinging to each other and shaking. The other four looked straight ahead, their eyes where blank as they stared into the darkness in front of them, which their gaze met within a foot or two. As the elevator neared the drop off point, the contaminated fog became thicker around them, soon the glop was manifesting and separating from the water as it made contact with the group members.
As each tiny little colony of the glop formed on the individuals, each one would deal with it in their own way, Difi would swat them, squashing them with a tiny splat which came with a slight scree. Elli followed Difi's example, just with less charisma, swatting the goop with less emotion. Spark would just zap them off of her, arcing the electricity from one to another. Critzer, Graft, and Forrower dealt with the small colonies using their respective attributes.
With a thud, the elevator finished it's decent and everyone got off. There was a slight feel in the air around them, that this was the most infested area of them all. Naturally, Critzer was holding a flame out so the six of them would not be attacked, but there was something odd that Forrower noticed. Rather then the gradually become weaker the farther it went out, it instead stopped as soon as it began to dim from distance. Forrower was the only one to pay any notice, his sense of awareness had been tuned for years of thieving and sneaking. Soon he heard a voice, statistic distorted it, he assumed it was the surrounding glop and that everyone cold hear it. But as he began to look around, he noticed that everyone else was walking fine with no shivers, no cringing, and now jumping. The voice continued, rambling out garbage, he soon began to panic slightly, wondering why he was the only one to hear the voice and he was the only one to be reacting to the current situation.
"One...m-m-m-must not worry.... One m-m-m....will alert....the light one...." The sentence made him blink a bit, his mind freezing slightly only to understand the voice now. The voice continued to echo these words in his mind, drowning any other thoughts about assisting the group and telling them about what is going on in his brain. The voice began to ramble on and on, his body beginning to twitch in irritation, annowance, and slight fear. He was a person of the shadows, he was darkness, but he was not this. This was neither of them he realized, this stuff was loud, fear inducing, and plain insanity. He was silent, sane, and though also fear inducing, it wasn't this kind of fear. He began to rub his head slightly as they walked, looking down at the ground.
"You.....beloooong....t-t-t-t....US! You....are one...of US!" The voice was slightly more feminine then the other voices he had heard. Forrower began to slightly veer of course as the group walked, holding his head now. Spark who was close by to him noticed this and placed a hand on his shoulder "Forrower, something wrong...?" Her voice filled with concern. As she spoke to him, his mind saw a way away from the brain washing of the black manifestation that was around them. He let go of his head and pulled her closer to him. She looked at him confused and was a bit reluctant to move closer to him but gave up as he didn't let go.
As Forrower's mind cleared, he slightly whispered to Spark "T-t-t-thank you" She then looked up at him with confusion again but she shrugged it off again. Spark, while staying close to forrower, looked over at Critzer, a certain turn of events had warped her view of her. Critzer was an odd character for her as she flipped about, she could be nice, rude, gentle, stern, insane, psychotic, and transition from one emotional state to another. Spark assumed the others had already noticed this but they relied on her and didn't question it, assuming that a mentioning would in a sense be an insult. But Spark wondered why this was the case of a short, pretty girl who possessed the power of flame, an element of destruction but also life. She was still starring at her when noticed the flame in Critzer's hand. Like most flames, there was no pattern to how it curved or arced, it was erratic.
This is when Spark's mind realized something, Critzer was in a sense a pyromaniac not because she loved fire, but because she was the bearer of flame. But a vessel for a flame is never good, the flame want's to be out, and free, and do as it wishes, this is why Critzer was the way she is, her own element was controlling her mental state as her own mind went numb. Spark soon realized her own element was considered erratic and not erratic. For her, it was in a sense by luck, as a pathway of electrons needed to be found to create the lightning. Graft was a chill fellow who's own element was slow and cool, every action buy it was slow enough to be analyzed and dealt with accordingly, ice was predictable in the route it would follow. And Forrower's element was not materialistic, but its path relied on where light was not, so it was malleable. Spark came to the conclusion that the elements of the four made paths which their minds analyzed and said which was a good path and which wasn't. Allowing them to control it better. their personalities helping decide these paths. But Critzer's was to erratic for her mind to discern properly, forcing her to concentrate and with the slightest push of distraction, her element would follow a path that would normally be be denied, only to be caught slightly back by her mind to veer it in the direction that benefits her, such as using the path of rage to hurt her enemies, rather then just everything.
Spark still looking at Critzer, smiled with slight joy as she had figured her out. Returning to looking forward into the darkness as they followed the path the end. She then whispered slightly "So.... now to figure out when this will... well... end..."
A voice called out to Spark, less distorted by static and more feminine "Never... It never will..."
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Sorry if there wasn't as much stuff that you had wished for such as a bit of a scare or action. Just a bit of insight before what the future will hold.
Sun, 06/09/2013 - 03:30
#72
:o
The two young ones though, Difi and Eli, where clinging to each other and shaking.
Sun, 06/09/2013 - 11:20
#73
well...they are 14 and 15
They are the youngest
You cant blame me for calling them that
Sun, 06/09/2013 - 21:48
#74
Too Lazy to switch to my account :P (It's Hex btw)
Holy, Critzer, that is amazing! The way that you developed that connection is really unbelievable (not saying that I wasn't expecting such great things from you at this point, but still, WOW). The skill that you show, man, I thought that doing that really requires talent, Critzer, just /clap. Oh and if you don't know what I'm talking about (I sure hope you do) I'm talking about the connection between their personalities and their powers; how they're shaped and affected by their powers... I just can't describe the skillfullness of developing and executing that...
Thu, 06/13/2013 - 10:04
#75
Btw...
Applications are closed but i have a guildy who sent me messages about putting in a character and such, told him to post it here and if he does, dont argue with me about "Why did he get to post an app AFTER you said apps were closed" The answer he is allowed to because he asked before i made the decision to close apps.
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The group delved farther into the layer, but it seemed to never end. The group had no idea where they where going, everything around them was covered in the glop. The light hit the ground, clearing a gap in the glop for them to walk safely. Light was the most important resource in these depths and everyone knew it. If Critzer or Spark ceased to create light, there was no miraculous escape through brute force. A grumble was heard and the group frooze in its tracks, then they heard it again, only to be followed by a loud crunching noise coming from he lead. Critzer was in the lead, but she was just standing still and doing something. Critzer notices no one is advancing and she looks back at them all, confused.
As she turns, it becomes clear to the group to what Critzer was doing, she had a chunk of Crimsonite in her free hand and bits of it around her mouth. She was eating the crimsonite without hesitation and looked at the group, with the look of "is there something wrong?" Graft sighs and continues to walk, in his mind, he thinks "The oddness of this girl increases with every moment" Critzer continues to walk and everyone follows behind her like before, only Spark moves up next to her "W-..... Why are you eating that stuff.... And how?!"
"Huh...? Its... good.... and warm, I see no problem with eating it... I mean, dont you eat moonstone?" She looks at Spark questioningly until Spark shakes her head in disagreement with Critzer's assumption. Critzer only laughs and continues to eat the crimsonite, a crunchy, firer y, and delightful desert to her and her only. The layer has little opposition, but no one questions why. They where surrounded and they knew it, the glop did not have to attack, it just had to wait. It was intelligent to some degree and they all knew that. Suddenly, they find themselves at the elevator junction, but the elevator wasnt there, its as if it was never there in the first place. Though the rails for it to head down are still there, the elevator wasnt, as if this layer was never supposed to be used.
Difi speaks loudly "What now...? Do we wait?" Eli shrugs as Difi looks at him/her, his/her fingers slightly twitching in anxiety. Graft soon goes over to the hole and looks over the edge, only to see darkness and nothing more, except the rails before they disappear into it. Forrower also looks down, getting an idea as he notices the ridges on the rails. He soon begins to ease himself down through the junction hole and uses the rails as ladders. He motions for the others to follow him but the others only look at him with some shock.
"But... That seems quite difficult for me and Difi... We aren't beefed up freaks like you guys" Difi only looks at Eli with slight Astonishment, the others look at him/her with a bit of anger but do understand his/her point. Forrower looks puts his hand out towards Eli for him/her to grab on "Here, ill carry you down. Difi, you should ride on Spark's back, she can act like a magnet, and Critzer, you know what to do." Everyone looks at Forrower with a slight bit of hesitation but nods after a bit. One by one, everyone crawls through the hole and slowly move down the rails. Critzer is in the middle, her entire body is a-blaze, lighting the area around the group. Spark carries Difi on her back, using her hands like magnets on the metal to help with the burden of carrying Difi. Graft being an old man is only left to climbing, and Forrower carries Eli, he is the one farthest down the line.
The darkness around them is just plain darkness, no creatures, no evil glop, nothing but just empty space not filled with light. In the distance, they can see the blazing citadel of Lord Vanaduke. The light emanating from it is dim, dark light of corruption, it benefits the group in no way, and they are to far to even bother yell for help to anyone who is battling Vanaduke. Only then do they realize they are around the same layer level as Vanaduke.
"I didnt realize we had gone this far down..... Its only been 4 layers...right?" grant says, in a raspy voice. He begins to pant and his muscles begin to tire, he is at the top most part of the line. As he tries to get himself together and hold out a bit longer, his old muscles, filled with man years of bashing and doing stuff, soon give up on him. He begins to fall downward, smacking Spark first and pulling her down with him, along with Difi. Spark was unprepared for the sudden impact and wasn't holding strong enough. They then hit Critzer, pulling her down as well, and then they hit Forrower, who was holding Eli. Forrower then loses his grip and falls with them all, Eli clutching Forrower's back. As they fall, Forrower takes action and pulls them all together into a small circle around him.
" What are YOU doing!?" She yells at him, only barely heard as the rushing air masks her voice. He smiles at her as he creates a large sphere around them, with him at the very center. "Grab onto me and dont let go!" They all follow his instructions, as if they had a real choice. As they fall the next layer finally comes into view, but they only get to see it for a split second before they crash into it. As the shield crashes into the ground, it tries to keep Forrower at the center, who is being held onto by everyone else. The shield shatters on impact, taking most of the impact, but drops the entire group onto the ground.
Groans are heard from the pile made up of the group. Difi is the first to get out of the pile of everybody. She looks at everybody only to feel a slight tap on her shoulder. She freezes as a feminine voice is heard and rings through her skull. The voice speaks only a few words "Welcome youngones, we've been..... expecting you."
Sat, 06/15/2013 - 05:43
#76
:\
Im seeing this thread on the second page more often, idk whether ppl are reading it anymore, only person i know is reading it is Hexlash and Skye, plus a few of my guildies...
Sat, 06/15/2013 - 11:11
#77
I know that feels
Yeah, you're reaching that point where it seems no one but one or two dedicated fans are reading, but for you're and my (and SKye's sake) please don't stop, as long as you have someone, and you enjoy doing it, don't stop!
Sat, 06/15/2013 - 13:45
#78
I'm reading!
I'm reading, just not really posting. By the way, this is good, keep it up!
Sun, 06/16/2013 - 03:24
#79
Huhwhazzat..?
Oh, sorry, just enjoying my two day vacation eating a plate of pasta XD
Anyways, good job, and keep writing! :)
Wed, 06/19/2013 - 01:54
#80
its so hot here...
Its hot where i am at and im tired most of the day, dont expect much. also, starting friday, i will not have much access to a computer for the 2 weeks following, so dont expect much from there either.
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As Difi shifted around to see who or what was around her, she stopped midway and observed the surrounding area. It was light, pure, and clean. It had a heavenly feel to the it that was a nice change from the black, fear inducing nightmare that they had just left. Difi let out a sigh of relief as she then started turning again only to face an angelic woman. her form was perfect, she had a welcoming look to her, and her dress was as white as white can get, her skin tone only had a slight darker tone to it. The woman's hair was comparable to sparkling gold and her glowing white eyes where almond shaped. She nodded to Difi, who was looking up at the tall women in astonishment. She then looked at the others, staring at the women while still piled on top of each other, she began to speak in a gentle voice, it was clear and pure "Welcome dear guest, you have entered the land of the Divine, please, make thyself at home"
The woman turns 90 degrees, making what was behind her visible, she raises the arm farthest from the group and holds it towards an amass of red prize boxes. "You are welcome to take whatever you like!" The group changes their view from the women to the boxes and then back to her. A puzzled look on their face, changing only to joy as she motions for them to go to their welcoming gift. The first one to dash after the boxes was Difi, as she was the only one up. Then there was Forrower, who scratched and pushed and kicked his way to freedom to then dash to the boxes, greedily opening them. Then was Eli who slid his/her way out of the pile and headed lazily to the boxes. Next was Graft, being polite enough to let everyone else off but couldn't stand being near Critzer's heat. He got off the two remaining girls quickly and sighed with relief as he walked to the boxes, freezing a few to claim them as his. Spark politely got of Critzer aswell as helping Critzer up and onto her feet. She then hurriedly rushes over to the boxes, claiming what little is left. Critzer stands there for a bit as she watches her comrades tear at the boxes and smile as they find crowns, a token here and there, and even some nice items.
Critzer only stood there though, she had no need for items or anymore money, she just wanted to get back to Haven. She wanted to see her guildies and hang out with them in the dark hearts guild hall. And even when that was restricted, due to that incident, she at least didnt have to fend for her life all the time and keep her mind from going bonkers out of the slightest sense of distress. She then looked at the tall woman, who was staring at Critzer intently. Critzer slightly jumps as she notices the amount of attention being aimed towards her by one woman. Critzer then calmed herself and stood straight and walked forward to the woman, who continued to stare at her intently. "May i ask... Why are you so deep down here...? And why are you staring at me like that?" Critzer says, her voice filled with question. The woman only looks at Critzer a bit longer before quickly turning around and heading over the to rest of the group.
Critzer stands where she was and looks off towards the mysterious woman with confusion. Critzer could take a hint and knew that the woman didnt like her but she didnt know why. She had never been there before nor did she ever meet the lady at any point in time before hand. She pondered for a while on why this lady showed so much distaste towards her. her mind rang out the same question after each thought up reason was shot down or only made it halfway "Why does she dislike me so much!" She shook her head and followed the group as they cleaved away at the prize boxes, which continued for many rows on.
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I have no AC 8cries in the corner then moves entire room to basement* ahhh....
Tue, 06/18/2013 - 15:49
#81
Yay!
It's about time there was a new part! I see a lot of foreshadowing here, however, just wanted to point out some minor flaws.
One, (I love this woman xD) - "Welcome dear guest, you have entered the land of the Divine, please, make thee self at home" - Thee means you, thy means your, so it would be thyself. And also, it is a bit confusing as to WHY Critzer feels the woman dislikes her, I don't know if you mean Critzer is just getting edgy again and only assuming that the woman dislikes her, or if you actually mean that when the woman was staring at Critzer, she did it with extreme distaste. For the first one I will fix but yeah, can't wait to see what this plot twist has in store for us!! :D
Wed, 06/19/2013 - 01:55
#82
Hex
I was tired... its hot, my brain was like "Bleh..." The only thing coming out was good story and that was just about it....
Wed, 06/19/2013 - 02:13
#83
Critzer, don't give up please!
:3
I am reading this story even inside class XD
Wed, 06/19/2013 - 08:46
#84
^-^
I used to do the same thing when i had the chance :3, but school is out for me, im waiting on a commission that shows how Critzer looks like in the story >:3 (i would try but i suck at humanoids and im better with objects...)
Wed, 06/19/2013 - 16:04
#85
A commish?
You're getting someone to draw Critzer? Wait, I forgot you said that awhile back. lol Cool! I would draw if I had: 1. An ounce of skill and 2. Time. Can't wait to see you, like in drawing form... or something :D
Oh and, I was just wondering, but every time I say something about your fanfic, you almost seem to treat it like I'm harshly criticizing you, I'm just pointing out stuff to help you along... I don't mind your mistakes, so yeah, it really does seem as if you are kinda like; "I'm sorry man, but I was blah blah, don't be so angry."... actually now that I take another look, you do the same thing for everyone... LOL, must just be me =P
So yeah... I lost track of what I need to edit next.
Tue, 06/25/2013 - 03:21
#86
Dont worry Hex
Hex, i dont mean to be like that.
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Critzer sat in her own are and began to create a fire, only to be stomped out by the white lady and then scolded again. Critzer did see why she couldn't make a fire but she didn't see why the scolding needed to be there. But she shrugged it off mumbling "Beggars can't be choosers I guess..." They where here as guest and thy had to conform to the hostess's rules. Critzer sat by her stomped out fire for a while before everyone else finally joined her. They where all happy and joyful after being able to receive so many gifts from the boxes. Forrower was throwing a pile of crowns in the air, only to quickly catch it and hide it away in his bag. Critzer was sad at the fact that a women of pure light would seem to dislike her just upon meeting while treating everyone else to many glorious treats and gifts. Critzer did not want the gifts but that was no reason to be mad at her, it was quite obvious she didn't need them and she wasn't being rude about it either. It baffled Critzer and threw her into deep thought.
Spark noticed the Critzer's shallowness in such a great place, Critzer to her seemed out of place not only in the area but for herself as well. Though Spark knew she was quite volatile, she had the feeling that this side of Critzer didn't happen to much. Spark walked over to Critzer and sat down next to her, only to place a hand on her shoulder and help release Critzer from her trance. Critzer flinches before shaking her head and facing Spark "Y-yes fulgara...?" Her voice was weak as if she was holding something in. Spark got up and beckoned Critzer to get come with her which Critzer did with a nod. Spark took her a bit away from the rest of the group, none of them really paying attention other then Graft, who only watched them for a bit then shrugged it off.
The two girls sat down against a wall and Spark then asked with a her sheepish voice"Is... Is everything alright.... Critzer...?" Critzer only looked at her, her face red with a slight blush as she was a bit embarrassed to say it. She knew what she was sad about wasn't really to important to be sad. She never did like it when people who had no real reason to dislike her would just dislike her for no reason at all. "I think... t-th-the white lady really hates me for... some reason... and i can't figure out why..." Tears slowly run down her face as she let it out, Spark only pull her closer and pets her head "It is fine.... dont let her being a meany get to you, she may have a way to get us out of here..." And with that Critzer realized she had to stop being a baby and keep calm so that the lady is inclined to lead them to an exit.
She then looked up and noticed they were facing the direction of where the layer should start. She then got up and wiped the tear off her face and began walking, leaving Spark in her dust, Spark quickly got up and tried catching up to her "Something wrong Critz?"
"This place shouldn't be here....." She soon found her group again, only to stand where her spot was and look down upon them. Their chattering quieted out as they noticed her presence, the difference in temperature indicated she was here and she was here and something was bothering her. "Now that i have your attention, we need to move now, this place is not safe."
Their expressions changed as she finished her sentence, they were all confused. To them, it did not make sense of why this layer was not safe. there was light, no darkness, and a bunch of red prize boxes. From what they had recently experienced, this was the definition of safe. Forrower was the first one to question her claim "How is it not safe Critzer, why? Do you just not like being the center of need now? Your not as important in the light as you are in the dark eh?" Forrower's questions demanded answers, his tone was firm and he held his ground. She sighed and took a large breath and pointed at the burning citadel that was Vanaduke's mighty castle.
"When have you ever seen this place when defeating Vanaduke, I know I haven't, not a single time! And I have tiptoed and skipped and just sat around in his castle just enjoying the heat and the emptiness around the area. And if this place is so pure and clean, why are you still here!?" She takes a breath to continue on "You are shadow, a thief and forever cursed, you are the opposite of this area and the lady doesnt mind you. Yet I create light and pure light to add that and I am scolded by the white lady, it makes no sense and i find it a bit to odd for so many things to be out of place!" She was now yelling into Forrower's face. Forrower could only stare back at Critzer as she battered his argument to the floor. Her points did make sense to the others and they soon got up.
Forrower sighed and muttered insults under his breath but followed behind as they began to head to the end junction until they met the white lady again her face was questioning "Why is thou leaving" Critzer retorted with somewhat of a lie "We are leaving, it was nice of you for taking us in, we thank you."
The lady began staring at Critzer with pure anger and yelled "Yoooou shall not PASS!" The woman soon flashed behind Critzer, jabbing her in the neck and knocking her out. She then swiftly turned to Spark and dazed her before stunning her body and knocking her out cold. The lady then shifted and stood before them, her body as black as the glop and the area turning from a white paradise to the black abyss they had recently seen. The first one to react was Graft who created a thick ice dome above everyone. It was then reinforced by Forrower's shadow cover. both the cover and the dome where quickly covered in black glob that tried using sheer weight to crush them all. "Thou shall not reach thi source! NEVER!" The voice was the woman's voice but it was evil and distorted, interrupted by static with each spacing of her words. Graft pulled out some wood from his bag and afire soul and gave it to Eli and Difi "Fire, we need it NOW!" As Graft and Forrower frantically tryed to sustain everyone's cover, Difi and Eli did as Graft had said, but it was difficult. The massive glob began jumping off and slamming back into their cover. They needed to light the shadows around them, lighting the shadows was the only way to survive this one, they cannot wait on the girls.
Yes im very hard working Hex you should give me crowns for this >:3
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Forrower and Graft stood watching the two they healed and worked on, thinking and wondering why they where here in the first place. Each one throwing out a possibility to the other but logic shooting it down and soon making a list of 'ifs' and 'coulds'. Time passing by a bit as everyone else was asleep our knocked out. Graft notices the emminent danger of if the fire they are using to survive currently goes out. He takes a deep sigh, his breath visible in the air. Forrower looks as he notices Graft's breath. To him the air is warm with some humidity, so in a sense, Graft's breath shouldn't be fogging he thinks to himself. Graft suddenly, leans forward and then stomps on the ground as he catches himself, the sound of ice cracking emanating from underneath the area. The ground shakes and soon jagged walls of ice burst through the ground and nearly create a perfect dome over and around the area covered with light. Graft pants slightly but then settles down and goes over to one section of the wall, tapping it to see if it at least had some thickness. As he tapped he he estimated at least 4 inches in thickness "I have never done this before....but it works! Thank youuu Critzer!" Graft says outloud, heading over to the fire and adding some hardwood from his own inventory to the fire.
Forrower looks at him with a puzzled expression "Why did you make the wall and why are you thanking her... she in a sense... is your opposite..." He made a good point but Graft already knew why he was thanking her.
"She gave me the idea....Remember when we where on the first elevator and both you and I where arguing?" Graft asked Forrower. Forrower nods in response allowing Graft to continue "Well she stomped her foot and a wall of fire came out. Now I am not saying we have they same abilities, but i just wanted to try it out..." Forrower looks at him surprised but doesn't compliment him "I guess you can teach a really old dog new tricks." Forrower and Graft give each other an evil stare after the remark and soon leave each other and find themselves back on the same terms they started at. Forrower notices Graft is looking the other direction, allowing him to sneak over to Critzer, his greed getting the better of him and tugging him towards the want of her money. But before he can even do anything, Spark begins to move and get up. Forrower dashes over in another direction and acts like nothing happened. Spark sits up and stretches her arms, as well as letting out a loud yawn, her eyes still closed while she does this "I just had the most...horrible nightmare...ever..felt so-" At this point she has opened her eyes and looked around, she begins to remember what happened as she recognizes the different people from what she thought was a dream. She begins mumbling to herself and pointing at everyone else as she does "Critzer...and Graft...." She then points to Forrower who is watching her "..and the sleezebag" and she continues pointing as she focuses on the two figures. Forrower yelling a loud "HEY!" towards her, slightly offended from what she said.
She turns to him and points like before "Oh... Wait... Your Forrower...." She then notices what she had said earlier and curls up a bit, speaking in a sheepish voice "Im...Im sorry I called you that..." Forrower ignores her apology and walks over to the girl he mended, wondering what her name could be. The girl began to rustle, Forrower bending over her as she began to wake up. She opened her eyes and her eyes met with Forrower's. They stood still like that for a moment before she lets out a gasp and slightly grips her sword that's tucked away. She panics and begins to shuffle backwards " G-g-g-ge....Get...away from me.....where a-....where am I...what are you going to do to me..?" Her voice showing her panic and drawing the attention of Graft and Spark, but Graft gets to her first as he was closer. He stands behind her and watches as she slowly edges towards him and eventually bumps into him, shee lets out a slight "eep" of surprise. "Hello" Graft says in a calm voice, looking down at her as she tilts her head back and sees him looking at her. Her hands scrabble to get grip on the ground to pull herself away from him. She draws her blade and points it at the men as she gets some distance away from both of them. She then notices Critzer on the ground, her awkward position making herself seem dead, and then notices the other person, looking dead as well. Her hands tremble and loses grip on the sword. She then runs into Spark, her back turned to Spark like it was with Graft. She assumes its another man and freezes in her place "T-t-three men...2 d-dead....people...p-p-please...help me...someone" she says to herself in her mind.
Spark speaks in a gentle voice towards the girl "um....hello...sorry if we startled you" The girl looks up at Spark and grabs her and pulls up her for support, hiding behind Spark once she gets on her feet. Her voice still trembling "T-t-....they....are after m-m-me..!" The girl says, pointing in Forrower's and Graft's direction. Spark lets out a little giggle and turns around facing the girl.
"These guys wont hurt you...they helped save you from....that black glop." Spark says, her hands on the girl's shoulders, rubbing them softly in an attempt to calm her down. The girl lets out a sigh of relief and sits down where she stands. Spark sits down in front of her and begins to chat with her.
"Whats your name" Spark ask.
"My name is Difi...Whats yours..." Difi replies.
With a bit of hesitation, Spark says "My name is Fulgara... But you can call me... Spark"
"Oh...Ok...Spark...thats a lovely nickname" Difi replies with a smile.
Spark takes a slight huff as she sees a slight flashback and recalls a great point in her life. She looks down and lets out a tear before wiping the tear away before looking back up at Difi "Im sorry....just something recently happened that hurt...." She then looks confidently around at the others and giggles at Critzer's awkward position "I wonder how she sleeps like that.... But anyway, when the other person and Critzer wakes up, we'll ask a few more questions."
"Who is Critzer Spark...?" Difi ask curiously.
"Oh...I havent even told you about the others..." She begins pointing at the rest of the party members, says their name and describes them with the current knowledge that she has gained with being with them for a short time "Graft, old guy; Forrower, a shady individual; Critzer, kind girl who loves fire, and hates the cold..."
As the girls are talking, Critzer and the other person are sleeping, and Forrower is doing his own thing, Graft is examining the wall he created, walking along the edge. At this point, a log in the fire burns through and causes a disturbance in the light for just a second where he happened to be at. At the same time, where Graft was looking a large black spot appeared, making him jump back in reflex and in fear. It was the glop from earlier, and it jumped at the wall. But it was aiming for him, he was sure of it. He got a bit closer to the spot as it slowly dripped off the wall and back into the shadows as the light re-balanced across the area. He could hear the loud static emanating from the glop and he drew closer to the wall to hear more. But he wasn't interested in the static, but what he could slightly hear from the static. It was a distorted voice, mixing in with the static " T-t-t-t-t....There is t-t-t-t-t-the light....onezzzzzz...... We...m-m-must consume the lz...lz....light one....Consume t-t-t-he light!" Graft froze as a chill went down his spine. His brain processing what it had just heard "It's...intelligent...its forming strategy...its living...."