Spiral News Network

61 replies [Last post]
Kentard

Kentard: Good evening, and welcome to the Spiral News Network - the primary source of news, gossip and more - all happening on Cradle! We accept all stories, all news, so Knights are welcome to post - so long as we still sound like a News Channel!

Joining us this week for our live NPC interview is Bechamel. Good evening, Bechamel.

Bechamel: Ah, good evening.
Kentard: Once again, on behalf of the SNN we'd like to welcome you to Haven's Bazaar; now, do tell us what made you start up the accessory business?
Bechamel: Knights these days are too focused on repowering the Skylark. Me? I'm just in it for aesthetic value. Whatever happened to the art pieces that adorned our buildings? Sculptures of historical figures to glorify the Knights? If the first step we can take towards aestheticizing Haven is by accessories, I say we go with it.
Kentard: Right, now fellow Knights have noticed that you don't sell accessories per se, rather you remove them. Is there a reason behind this?
Bechamel: Given the limited resources by the Spiral HQ, accessories are no more than a trivial concern of some Knights - a concern they cannot afford to waste what little we have left. Of course, I did make a few with surplus resources, but this merely promoted infighting among the Knights at the HQ as to who would get them. So, I hid them away in the Clockworks... god knows how anyone actually managed to get them back.
In any case, improper removal of accessories can lead to permanent damage on armor components, hence I can remove them for you - free of charge, too.
Kentard: Right now, the only way of opening the Iron Lockboxes containing said accessories is by purchasing Silver Keys from Boost at 750 Crystal Energy each. Do you have any comments on this?
Bechamel: What?! Preposterous. Boost beat me to it again. Argh... I would make a fortune selling those Keys... and my Keys, of all things! I must have a word with him.
Kentard: Fellow Knights have also questioned what weapon you possess, and whether it is obtainable in-game. Any comments?
Bechamel: Ho-ho, this is a standard issue Spiral HQ Scissorblade Calibur. This is handed down from one Accessorizer to his successor, and is the only one in existence. And with a Very High Damage UV to Accessories, I can definitely see why.
Kentard: What about that Love Puppy in your background? Is that a pet of yours?
Bechamel: Well, sometimes the Scissorblade misses.
Kentard: ... Alright, now why do you adorn yourself with purple-themed gear? Are you attempting to impersonate a Game Master by any chance?
Bechamel: Why do I need to? I'm the ****** Accessorizer. If anything, the Game Masters are impersonating me! I'm the unique one around here; I mean, come on. No other Knight on Cradle has more flamboyant gear than I do.
Kentard: Ah, thank you very much, Bechamel, and thank you all for watching this exclusive interview with Spiral HQ's Accessorizer.
Join us in the next episode for another exciting news update, but for now, here is the weather for Cradle:

Haven - 84ºF, Sunny all Day.
Firestorm Citadel - 150ºF, Extra Crispy.
Graveyard - 66ºF, Hazy with a chance of Phantoms.

Fri, 11/11/2011 - 09:43 #51
broomster
SSN Interview : Konjuring Kat

Good evening, ladies and gentlemen. Today we will be interviewing the Konjuring Kat on allegations that he performs... um... dark rituals. I am headed to Moorcroft Manor right now, where KK lives.
-Moorcroft Manor-
Littlerbit: Hello, Konjuring Kat!
Konjuring Kat: Hi~!
Littlerbit: So, I've heard that you perform certain dark rituals on Knights that turn them into other things. Do you have anything to say about this?
KK: What Dark Ritual?
L: I'll just be going now...
And that concludes our interview with the Konjuring Kat!

Fri, 11/11/2011 - 10:42 #52
Iskender
(gets thrown into the studio)

(gets thrown into the studio) Wait, I don't even have any- Uh, hello, ladies and gentlemen! (to the side) Turn on the bloody teleprompter! (to the camera, smiles) According to reports of several knights, a gremlin child is currently lurking around Haven. Up until now, it has rejected any help due to fear and confusion. We'd like to ask his parents to take an elevator and get him home.
And now to the weather!
(to the side) ...I said, now to the weather. Don't tell me you forgot how to use that- (side glance) Ah, there it is. Due to the upcoming season, expect some stratas to freeze up and become ice strata. Exceptions include Flame Lash Arenas and the Firestorm Citadel.
(stands up and leaves) Now, where are these 1000 CE you promised me...

Fri, 11/11/2011 - 12:52 #53
a2000
Ztype :WAHOOO!!! IM FREE!!!

Ztype :WAHOOO!!! IM FREE!!! The gremlins freed me when they took over the high-security prison yesterday! Also, I've been appointed Second-In-Command, a target for you Spiral HQ, if you ever catch me! Anyway, I'm interviewing the team of gremlins who freed me. So, what makes you so feared, C****** O****? (sorry to protect ourselves we have to cover our names)

C*******: We may be small, but we are powerful. You see, its all about the axes. We prefer to use proper weapons, rather than the knights "swords", "guns" and "bombs"

Ztype: Ok, I see. Well if you don't recognise me, viewers, it is because I am now a Void Thwaker. Oh yeah, by the way Random Jockey, what do you mean by YTP?

Fri, 11/11/2011 - 12:57 #54
a2000
BREAKING NEWS!!!

Just come in that King Tinkizar has been assassinated, so now I am King Ztype of the gremlins!!! I have now changed the seniority of the gremlins and have changed what weapons they posses accordingly.

King Ztype (me): GF, DA, BTB and Furious Flamberge.
Sacred Order: GF, DA, BTB and Furious Flamberge.
Crimson Order:Faust, Avenger and Dark Thorn Blade
The rest: Depends

I am also now a proper knight again so I can blend in the crowd! Soon I will have a pet Rabid Snarbolax, once gremlins conquer the beasts. Soon we will conquer all the monsters and knights on Clockworks, and soon will have a space empire. MUHAHAHA!!!

Fri, 11/11/2011 - 13:19 #55
exl1
MORE BREAKING NEWS!!!

It has just come in that Ztype was shot by an antigua.This has beenreported as a suiside*hides antigua* in other news- *studio door breaks down* NO BODY MOVE THIS IS A ROBERY!! Void-O-O rober-oh this isnt the auctin house...er...CYA!!! Void-... what just happened here?!

Fri, 11/11/2011 - 14:16 #56
Grittle
FAKE NEWS!!! SNN is become

FAKE NEWS!!! SNN is become less and less popular by its competitor in news- CHROMA TV, news by monsters, for everyone except punch

Fri, 11/11/2011 - 14:44 #57
steam-76561198043784389
x has become a YTP means:

When this sentence is said on something, generally any type of social network, it means that something turned completely upside down in a ridiculous manner, just like how YTP's (YouTube Poops) represent the characters they include in ridiculous ways.
-gets pushed into SNN- Oh, yes, the news report, well uh... The scared gremlin order has now reported that Ztype had no Antigua and it was probably an asassination.
And the weather... (>:L) *whispers* what's the weather? *cameraman* beats me, it's always fake... *me* oh well, it will be slightly hotter than usual due to one of my SAT cards failing causing an alchemy machine to catch fire. I've already headed into solving the bug that caused this, and I'll install the new SAT tommorow.

Wed, 11/16/2011 - 16:52 #58
Hades-Vll
wHATS GOING ON?!

ADOGHAWFAGWDFAVWFYGIFHABWFHYAFBAWTGFN AHWBFATYBVGAWUTFGAUSFBAWFA

Fri, 11/18/2011 - 09:41 #59
Mightyputty
Latest Headlines 18/11/11

Good afternoon, and welcome to SNN. This is Mightyputty with the latest headlines from the world of Cradle.

CE Prices have officially raised above 7000cr per 100 ce for the first time since scores of rockets suddenly crashed on April 2011. The general cosensus is negative, with knights seeing a reported decrease in playtime due to running on only mist energy. More and more knights have considered suicide as the only solution to leaving a world that they feel is crushing them from all sides. Gremlin scientists have researched on the effects of having low ce within a knight's system, noticing that knights experience depression due to a lack of mist energy travelling within their systems. The raise in ce prices has left the Clockwork faithful happy since knights are plundering less booty from their realm.

King Krogmo has stated concern for the lack of players in blast network. On a recent interview, Krogmo has stated that the release of Lockdown has become too successful, undermining the potential that Blast Network had. Throughout the past few months King Krogmo placed initiatives to garner more players to Blast Network Such initiatives include better bribing prizes, decreasing idle knights within a match, and starting blast network tournaments. All his actions have come to no avail as knights voiced their concerns of wall hits, clear misses, and bias against certain knights with a lower reputation.

Now for the weather. It seems that more and more knights are noticing a decrease in the temperature of FSC. Reports of freeze bomb debris have been seen throughout the citadel, lowering the fire concentration with it. On an interview with an anonymous knight, the cooler temperature was welcoming indeed as it "made FSC that much easier".

These are the latest headlines from SNN. Tune in next time for indepth coverage of the Auction House.

Wed, 12/21/2011 - 07:57 #60
Firehate
WANTED

WANTED : DEAD
Name: Firehate
Gender: Male
Race: Phantom
Info: Once said to be an ace reporter in SNN, this haunted headache ,clad in a rugged snarbolax set, kills and horribly mutilates anyone or anything in sight.
Reports have found that he had been assinated a month ago by well..." An assassin !"Well, thank YOU Mr. Obvious.

By the way, this is his noble half- brother Firescorn, happy to help here.
Now for the news...Wait...No...Firehate...Ahghack............