Oh boy.
Oh man.
Oh elderly.
What are you doing to old people?
Nothing, Vernon.

"I think it would be cool"

You know what I think would be cool? This. And that. No one said it had to be 'cool' to anyone else.

"added rifles to the game, because if we have pistols, why can't we have rifles?"

They are called handguns. Guns that you hold in your hands. You know, like real guns, but without people obsessing over them to compensate masculinity. Girlfriend not satisfied? Show her some big guns, that ought to cheer her up.

"I'm assuming they would be better than pistols of the same star statwise, which would probably make players complain that rifles were overpowered"

Handguns cover a wide variety of firearms from Autoguns with rapid boolits to Alchemers with bouncing boolits to Pulsars with bomb boolits to Sealeds with sword booli- wait a derp, Sealed is a sword not a gun. Oh, never mind. Nick says swords that act like guns are okay. Never mind then.

"made it so rifles also took up your sheild slot along w/ a weapons slot, that would be a huge tradeoff."

Oh look, the exact same thing everyone else who made a thread about this exact same topic said. How creative and original. I could make out with that raw imagination then make love to it all night. You are now imagining your imagination sleeping with a wooden crate. The crate has more than one kind of wood.

Are you happy? You made me make innuendos about a wooden crate. What kind of twisted crazy person does that? This guy.

"Rifles would potentially fire faster and further than a handgun"

You mean an Autogun.

"and probably deal a bit more damage"

Autogun.

"maybe shoot slower and further"

Autog- Actually, Autoguns have slightly shorter range than most other handguns and take a couple seconds to fire while restricting mobility.

"deal more damage with some knockback"

Like the Volcanic Pepperbox, which is an Autogun alchemy branch.

"reload every shot or something"

The basic attack for Autoguns have a two shot clip, but all gun charge attacks make the user reload at the end.

"I'm pretty sure theres been a thread about this sometime"
"but seeing as my search bar doesn't work, I don't know."

You know that feeling when some random guy you never met before tells a really bad racist joke and one or both of your parents happen to be that race? That is how I feel about this thread. You may not believe it but this is the exact same Autogun imitating as at least eight other threads on the exact same topic with equal if not less intelligence put into them. Why do people ask for something which we practically already have? Too much Call of Duty? Is Spiral Knights suddenly a FPS because we have guns? Okay. Every game that involves some kind of ranged weapon or firearm has to be a FPS so people can get their daily injection of FPS to trip out on. Maybe take it in a pill form in the back door.

"I don't see how a blitz needle is similiar to my rifle"
"(I've never used on myself though)"

I have no idea how something can be similar to something else if I have never seen the first something before. This is all perfectly sensible and competent.

"pistols are pretty much anything under the handgun category in the game currently"

How many flavors of stupid are you? Thirty-one? Wait, that was ice cream. At least they have variety. What do you think a pistol is? A gun that fits in your hand? We have another word for that, a gun in your hand; I forget what it was. Maybe if I urinate in public I might remember.

"I actually thought of a more semi- auto gun. Automatic firing with more damage and range isn't exactly fair"

You mean a gun that shoots boolits without having to click for every single boolit? I wonder what that sounds li-Autoguns you idiot. You admit more damage and range is unfair? Guess what? Autoguns have less range but high damage. How buttocks squeezing great is that?

"blitz needle sprays the shots. I wanted a gun that could deal more dmg, have a longer range, and shoot semi- auto more accurately."

You want a gun that aims for you, deals high damage, has high range, and shoots for you all at once. No. No. You are not real. This is my imagination trying to make me homicidal. It finally decided it wanted to get out of this place in the chaos of me finding you and slapping your internal organs out of your face. That is what is going on here. I am going to go to the toilet, reach in with my head, and come out with a frilly orange hat. At least that makes more sense than this thread.

"I dont want a freaking autogun. I already have one of those.

You keep asking for features which Autoguns have. Do you ask for your sandwich to not have bread? Of course not, a sandwich with bread. Ridiculous.

"I said I wanted a semi auto gun. SEMI AUTO. Not shoots multiple shots for every time I click."

Do you know how our guns work? You have to reload when you use a full clip or the charge attack. There is no "oh I want to reload now so I can avoid doing it later". How about I ask for a bomb where I can do the charge part in a safe place for derpbillion bombs, then place them all at once when I go out in the fray?

"autoguns have high dmg at a closer range. Long range, all the shots spread out and only one or 2 bullets hit. Thats about 25 dmg.

Do you know how Autoguns work? You sacrifice range for higher damage. If you go closer to the target more bullets will hit them. That is what makes it balanced, or at least close to balanced. If you were experienced in this game you would be well aware Autoguns are the highest damage outputting weapons in competent hands.

"I do want it to deal more dmg than an autogun. The dmg one bullet from it deals is 12"

Look at this again. Do you see the damage table? Do I have to hold your hand on the way? Autogun at 2* is going to deal low damage because 2* is not a high star rating. Everything at 2* has low damage compared to higher ranks. Ranks work like that. Look at the peak damage. Can you read that for us? Compare it to any other 5* weapon. I dare you.

"I would write more, but I have more important things to do. literally.

Like what? Sleep? Play Call of Duty? Sleep while playing Call of Duty? Sleep with Call of Duty? None require intelligence.

"walking up to someone and telling them that their idea comepletly sucks is kind of rude"

Asking for new content almost identical to something that already exists and ignoring the responses about it is rude. Not searching with something as simple and obvious as Google when the built in search is stupid is rude when the rules specifically say to search before creating a thread. Calling our handguns pistols is rude. If I flipped off a nun while naked and riding a robot unicorn into outer space that would be rude.

"No I have never used a blitz needel; Therefore I am completely unknowledgeable about them. How many weapons do you know about? How many have you used?

For starters, I have both Blitz and VPepperbox. And have used them. I also happen to have and be competent with:

• Cold Iron Vanquisher
• Gran Faust
• Divine Avenger
• Combuster
• Seerus hammers
• Dread Venom Striker
• Sudaruska
• Winmillion
• Final Flourish
• Furious Flamberge
• Barbarous Thorn Blade
• Fang of Vog
• Callahan
• Biohazard
• Polaris
• Valiance
• Storm Driver
• Magma Driver
• Argent Peacemaker
• Sentenza
• Ash of Agni
• Shivermist Buster
• Voltaic Tempest
• Venom Veiler
• Shocking Salt Bomb
• Scintillating Sun Shards
• Dark Briar Barrage
• Dark Retribution
• Nitronome
• Big Angry Bomb
• Graviton Vortex

Not convinced?

People still don't grasp how important the shield is. Ugh!

awww thats sad bro -1

Luguiru just destroyed your thread. Honestly I'll help him clean it up too. ._. I myself have used every 5* weapon in the game. And you obviously have little knowledge on any of them. No weapon in the game can out damage Blitz Needle. Only weapons that have actually gotten close to out-damaging it is the Warmaster Rocket Hammer, Plague Needle, and Volcanic Pepperbox. Blitz Needle would out-damage any rifle idea of yours. Anyway lets get to the point of a rifle. Why? Just why? Elicit out the fact that so many people hate ideas where you cannot have your shield equipped just for the sake of weaponry. Spiral Knights isn't Call of Duty. Honestly if you have any sense of decency you will move this thread to the Graveyard because much more abhorrence is soon to come...

POO TIS POW!

...Ahem. Now, Lug, there's no need to call him an idiot. He's probably new to the game, or at least new to the Suggestions forum.

Right, so, Rifles. Basically, you're asking to sacrifice a shield (defense) for a mobile, rapid-fire gun (mobility, decent damage). Two-handed weapons of any sort have been shot down countless times due to the fact that the Shield is such an integral part of gameplay. So no zweihanders, no miniguns, no assault rifles, and, sadly, no giant Knight-sized 40-space-radius giga-nukes either. (I'd PAY to get a giant Knight-sized giga-nuke, but that's beside the point.)

However, a gun that lowers your health or weakens status resistance, in exchange for better damage and mobility, could be a workable idea. Then again, you can switch weapons in this game... perhaps a gun that has to be loaded before use, X bullets at a time, painstakingly slow, but can unload it all in one massive storm? Good for the patient knight, but does it really accomplish the original goal? If the goal is rapid-fire while looking fairly like an assault rifle, of course it can accomplish the original goal.

...am I getting off topic? Maybe. Either way, it's 1:11 over here and I'm too tired to continue pondering this post. All of you play nice while I'm sleeping.

One of the main reasons people hate the rifle is because of no shield. How do fix?

I know! Couldn't we take the shield away with the rifle equipped but when you press the button that you have assigned your shield to, your knight could do a hit with the butt of the rifle, which could function like a shield bump. With your rifle out, you wouldn't need to shield cancel because you would just let go of the attack button.

And Doctorspacebar, why is heavy here shooting us with his fist?

Also, while I'm thinking about TF2, Need a dispensa heeyah.

are you gonna bump 5 things away with your butt?

lol...Depends how obese you are.

~Sev