I simply take the cookie and walk away and eat it. The end. :D

Iamnoone doesn't have the cookie, wait, I already digested the cookie, QUICK, UNDO THE PARADOX

/sends anouther cookie back in time a few posts ago

there, that sho- OH NO, I CREATED ANOUTHER PARADOX, WHICH WILL CONSUME IAMNOONE'S DEAD BODY!!! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

/watches Iamnoone's dead body get consumed by a paradox

/bakes some pie and gives it to Malk and helps him/her guard the pie, and then makes a thread about stealing the pie

I walk to S-E Gravel Co., which is heavily guarded by robots.

I take the cookie from her headless body and run to S-E Gravel Co., which is guarded by robots.

Oh no, Iamnoone is dead

/Sacerfices the cookie to revive Iamnoone, who is now part cookie

/destroys all the ovens in the universe so anouther cookie can not be made

now you steal Iamnoone, since she is the cookie now

Now I steal the cookie from Sacred-Earth, hit him with the cookie, and run away with the cookie.

I clone Iamnoone to make a army of her, then I wait for Iamnoone to come back and destroy Bob

But a magic angry mob comes and kills you before post 2866 happens for trying to control Iamnoone, making 2866 not happens, you also die from the swag

/continues waiting for Iamnoone to come back and kill Bob with her new clone army

The angry mob can not be killed, also you die when you tried to make some random material encase me, making that not happen

I take the cookie from Bob with MY HAMMER!!!

I quickly summon my army of nautically-themed monsters, which I had been breeding for the past 58 pages. You can't beat them. Why not?

CUZ THEY'RE SHARKS WITH FLAMETHROWERS ON THEIR FOREHEADS AND SHOOT LAZORS OUT OF THEIR MOUTH.

While you get bombarded by porpoises with anti-tank weapons, I quickly swipe the cookie.

I grab the cookie and toss it back at Noone, along with a Spark of Life. My nautical army goes away to terrorize some random citizen for the kicks.

EDIT: I also throw a mob of media-haters at Malk, freeing Noone, who was already dead. You creep. Why were you trying to make a dead body swoon for you?

Because you did not specify what bots,im assuming that they are just faces with wheels and i blow them and the company to pieces with a bomb.
I obtain the cookie and i go to the andromeda galaxy.

Look. A logic. Acid wont work in space either,because im assuming its a liquid and thus will just float.
While you look it up on google i take the cookie.

EDIT: Sacred Saxophone obtained a sniped someone badge. Gratz.

I know the answer to all of this.

In this forum i know someone who is a good friend of mine and is admin.'

I tell him to perma-ban everyone who is typing on this post except me and the creator(since he didn't type and when i say he didn't type i mean the admin friend of mine).

Then we all split the cookie.

Then we make zillions of batches since some store owners and employees got banned too so we had the materials to bake some more. We eat all the cookies we bake and are quite happy with all we have(although it is pretty much only cookies).

Ok, now you have your story.

Enjoy!

EDIT: everyone was banned except the person who banned everyone, me, and the creator of this thread.And the friend who was admin isn't real just something for the sake of getting the cookies.

My swag magic grabs Iamoone and I use her as a human shield. Then I fire swaggonite daggers in her back and use my swag to teleport the cookie to me.

My swag tenticalls grab your feet and pull them out from under you. I grab the cookie and use my magic to cage you in pure swaggonite.
HINT:Swagginite can only be destroyed by a knight named: "Shazala". An she is another character I made.

I never said I banned you all.

Get glasses.

I dodged the Swagonite, since I'm a pro dodger. Of course, professional means you get paid to do it. I do. By self-satisfaction at dodging your Limit Breaks.

Oh, and: There are to be no super-powers.

If your magic isn't a superpower, then I guess I can use magic too.

After I get rescued by Sacred's robots from the already-dodged Swagonite, I quickly throw a boomerang at Malk. Emphasis on the boom part. Actually, wouldn't that sound epic? In a movie, just have the hero throw explosive boomerangs. BEST IDEA EVER. My idea is so awesome that it nullifies Malk's swag abilities for 1.1423897 seconds - exactly how long it takes for the boomerang to explode in your face.

I toss a sacred cow, which poops on Sacred-Earth. I grab the cookie and randomly explode.

My ER restores me.

Whuh? What happened?

But I hear voices in my head.

Why am I hearing stuff in my head?

Sounds like someone's narrating me.

Oh great. Did Pipipipipi break the fourth wall again?

Apparently.

Fudge.

Anyways, I hire a raccoon to open the safe, paying him cookies. He opens it with ease and I grab the cookie, punch Sacred in the nose to establish superiority, and skip away, humming.

I bake a new cookie and put it on the outskirts of my base. Come on, take it!

I find Pi, almost stepping on the elevator. "No, I say! Do. Not. Do. It." He steps on the elevator and goes to the next depth. I call in an army of robots to track down Pi before he escapes. The robots take him to my office. Then I say, "Keep the cookie. I will give you an army of robots for you to control. If you try to destroy me with the bots, I will self-destruct the bots." Then I give the army of robots, as promised.

I don't see the super-secret cookie, but trip over it and pick it up.

Robots: ATTACK DESTROY STUFF!

I spout some kind of paradox sentence logic and they self-destruct thinking about it. Pipipipipi attacks! But the fourth wall crumbles, and I jump out of my computer into the real world!

Robots love paradoxes. If they think about it too much they explode.

I give an army of Australium robots to Pi.

These bots can only be destroyed by any weapons wielded by the nine classes of TF2 and my self-destruct button, which means paradoxes cannot affect them at all, and is immune to swag.