Spiral Knights - Finder's Keepers [discussion thread]

Finder's Keepers [discussion thread]

390 replies [Last post]

Sat, 03/23/2013 - 22:24

#151

Azure-Orbit

Well...

As you've stated in your story proposal, The Finder actually fears Equinox a bit, so I don't think it would make sense if she tried attacking them right off the bat. I say she tries to trick them, it makes more sense. Plus, it would allow us to see how skilled The Finder is in manipulation and deception

Sat, 03/23/2013 - 23:00

#152

Thinslayer

Edits made.

@Vinnydime: Your chapter has been added to the Story Thread. Of all the other story arcs, I think yours is closest to the original spirit of the story.
@Infernus-Dragneel: I have finally been able to make the edit. I took a slight creative liberty.
@Azure-Orbit: I like your reasoning. Time to make a new proposal.

Considering that the Finder was pursuing Alice earlier, it makes more sense that she simply pops up, instead of teleporting there from her scene with the Master. I didn't exactly time stamp that event anyways, so I can afford to take liberties with it.

Unofficial proposal

She fell back from pursuing Alice and Equinox. The latter was too strong to risk fighting alone, so more subtle maneuvering was required. She found Equinox's house, transformed into her humanoid form, and donned her Magic Cloak and Hood. Before she could approach the door, Equinox stepped outside to collect a few spices to put on Alice's wolver meat.

It was time for the Finder to make her move. She approached him slowly and shyly while looking around, acting as if she was lost. She asked him sweetly, "Pardon me kind sir, but...well, you see, I...I got separated from my party, and I'm kinda really lost. Could I...maybe...if it's not too much trouble...stay the night? Wolvers stole all my food."

End of unofficial proposal

By the way, "unofficial proposals" are proposals that are not intended for direct implementation into the story. They will require some tweaking and rewriting before they are added.

Sat, 03/23/2013 - 23:06

#153

Feline-Grenadier

...

Yeah, am I the only one who emphasized on hunger and heat on this one? O.o

And guys, don't go jumping the bandwagon with knocking out all your characters from overheating or starving. Just continue as you are, and implement those factors AFTER we meet up at the rendevous.

If you guys noticed, I'm bending Lyra to go to the countryside towards Seatus. Not sure if you guys should start making gradual changes before meeting up.

Sun, 03/24/2013 - 00:18

#154

Aekuryi

Late-ish Third Entry

Rewrote the entry. Sorry about that, Vinmeister and Thinslayer

Amaranth

"Is she dead?" I could hear a Hunter talking right above me. I kept my eyes shut, intending on playing dead as long as possible. As I woke up, I could tell that my fever had subsided, and I was fine, except for what felt like a small headache.
"Check her temperature. If she's not cold as ice, I'll come over and take care of that", a surly voice said, presumably a Squad Captain.
"Yes, sir." I can feel his presence over me as he bends down, reaching for my wrist.

Now.

My eyes snap open and I jump up, punching the Hunter square in the jaw. He falls down on the ground, and I duck from the subsequent spray of bullets from the Hunters' guns.
"Make sure she's killed!", the Captain roared. "No mistakes!"

I can hear them moving towards me, and I take out my Striker. Holding it sideways, I jump up and dart to the squad's back, slashing at a few and taking them out of commission for good. I charge up an icicle in my free hand, splitting it and impaling the other two. The Captain faces me, firing a flurry of bullets from his Valiance. I manage to dodge most of them, but one grazes my face, stinging a little. He tries to fire, but he looks at his gun in disbelief as it makes a clicking sound.
"Tsk tsk, bad little children never go unpunished", I say, grinning. I rush towards him, Striker poised. He shrieks, and my knife plunges straight into his stomach. I pull it out, and lick off the blood, my sadistic side relishing the taste.

Suddenly, I hear a coughing noise from my left. I quickly glance over, and I see another Hunter standing in front of a blonde-haired girl in an Angelic Raiment, frozen in disbelief. His hands curl into fists as he yells at me.
"How dare you kill my Captain, you filthy Channeler!" He raises his gun and shoots at me, the bullet miraculously missing by a long shot, to my relief.
"Don't worry, you'll see him soon", I mutter, flicking an icicle straight into his head. He falls over, blood pouring out of the hole in his face.

I quickly run over to the girl, my normal, childish side coming back.
"Hey, hey! Are you alright, friend?", I ask, reaching my hand out. I help her up, and she nods.
"Great~! My name is Amaranth, who might you be?"

Sun, 03/24/2013 - 00:47

#155

Feline-Grenadier

...

I just said not to overemphasize on the weaknesses of Channelers...

Edited: HURHURHUR they miraculously sur-hur-vived!

Sat, 03/23/2013 - 23:44

#156

Thinslayer

Some random comments

Partial story addition for future reference
"Your newfound courage is admirable. You've finally grown a spine!" She dug her claws into her back. "May I have it?"
End of future story addition

@Vinnydime: I think we all need to decide on an overall plot for the story at some point. I have a few ideas floating around. Also, lol @#155.

@Aekuryi: The major problem with the proposed story addition is her dizziness. She manages to 1) hit *only* the soldiers and completely avoid hitting the girl, even slightly, 2) with a gun that sprays its shots, 3) while dizzy. She somehow has god-like "dizzy reflexes" that enable her to 1) duck under speeding bullets, 2) jump and shoot simultaneously 3) and accurately, 4) thereby eliminating an *entire* squad 5) before passing out again. I have trouble suspending disbelief in all that.

I recommend having her completely clear her mind right off the bat before going back into battle, and she should not pass out again. That would be the easiest fix. It's already a stretch (albeit an acceptable one) for the hunters to not have noticed her passed out on the ground.

Sat, 03/23/2013 - 23:49

#157

Aekuryi

Ookay

I'll edit it soon, I thought that might be the case.

Sat, 03/23/2013 - 23:51

#158

Feline-Grenadier

...

Or...

you could do it like me where you skip the action scene and get the end result. That way, you don't have to put up with that kinda stuff like heating or starving.

Sat, 03/23/2013 - 23:56

#159

Thinslayer

Good sport, sir.

You're a good sport, Aekuryi. I was wondering whether the detailed critique went over well.

Sun, 03/24/2013 - 03:31

#160

Infernus-Dragneel

At least not everyone is OP...

The next thing Iris knew was that the Hunter had released her, she tried to catch her breath but ended up coughing instead. She turned around to see what was going on, the girl she saved earlier had dispatched the enemy with ease. Now what was left of the remaining enemy is the Hunter frozen in disbelief right in front of her.

"How dare you kill my Captain, you filthy Channeler!" the Hunter raised his gun and send a bullet flying towards the girl, which luckily she dodged it. "Don't worry, you'll see him soon," the girl muttered as she conjured an icicle on her hand, she flicked it and the ice pierced the Hunter's forehead. He fell to the ground dead as blood slowly poured from the hole in his face.

The girl then rushed towards Iris and smiled at her,"Hey, hey! Are you alright, friend?" the girl asked Iris as she tried helping her up. "Well, to the fact that you just saved me from those Hunters that almost killed me, then I believe that I am alright, thank you," Iris smiled, "Playful, Innocent and a girl... I swore that she isn't the only kind of person like that..." she thought to herself while trying to balance herself. ((Amaranth resembles someone familiar right? Hint hint, but she isn't going anywhere in this RP))

"Great~! My name is Amaranth, who might you be?" Amaranth asked her. "My name is Iris, and I'm glad to make friends with you Amaranth," Iris answered, "May I ask you of how you provoked those Hunters?"

((edited this))

Sun, 03/24/2013 - 00:15

#161

Thinslayer

Just a friendly reminder...

The story additions we post must be tailored for transferal to the Story Thread.

Sun, 03/24/2013 - 00:27

#162

Aekuryi

Gosh darn it

I decided to rewrite the entire entry and now look what happens :U

Oh well, my mistake. I'll take the blame for it.

And what's worse is I made her seem OP D:
Tonight is just not my night...
*bows head* My apologies for messing stuff up.

Sun, 03/24/2013 - 00:29

#163

Thinslayer

Just read the edit.

/think Thinslayer thinks, "I wish I could write like that..."

That was some good writing there. I'd critique it in detail if I wasn't so tired. :P You did great, Aekuryi. No need to apologize.

T'will be added to the Story Thread! Good night, all.

P.S. Have you noticed that I've been calling her "Amarynth" instead of "Amaranth?" For some reason, the name looks and sounds better to me with the "y" in it. Is that okay?

Sun, 03/24/2013 - 00:36

#164

Aekuryi

@Thinslayer

Thank you :D
And sure, you can make it so her name is Amarynth! I kinda like it too.

Sun, 03/24/2013 - 00:56

#165

Thinslayer

Useful link

I found a useful link discussing and exploring several different ways to roleplay. It's given me quite a few ideas.

Sun, 03/24/2013 - 03:36

#166

Infernus-Dragneel

Shutup Adachi!

((edited mines also, say Thin... will there be an explanation of the Exile's base?))

Sun, 03/24/2013 - 08:37

#167

Thinslayer

@Infernus-Dragneel

I'm glad you asked! The Exiles' base is Almire, the city of Al'Goth in particular. It is an Almirian stronghold, designed to hold off sieges indefinitely. There, our characters will be briefed on the severity of the situation, the nature of the villains, and on how to accomplish their goals. Equipment can be purchased and upgraded there, as well.

Does that answer the question?

Sun, 03/24/2013 - 09:20

#168

Thinslayer

Some critiques

I'm having trouble distinguishing between Iris and Amarynth. They're both girls, both have a cheeful attitude, and both are able to fight. There *are* notable differences, such as Iris being less of a fighter and more of a ditz like her RtC alter-ego (that's my guess btw, Infernus), while Amarynth is more of a fighter and has a somewhat cheekier attitude, but in practice, these I'm having trouble seeing these differences clearly. Is it just me?

Now for a more detailed critique. Regarding Infernus's post #160: It's looking good, but there are a couple of issues with it.

1. Double-check your punctuation:
"...the girl muttered as she conjured an icicle on her hand*, she* flicked..."
The "she" between asterisks should start a new sentence.

2. You've got a lot of unnamed references in your post; I had to work to make sure I understood which "the girl" was which. Try using a name or two and a few pronouns.

Otherwise, like I said, it's looking good. ;)

Sun, 03/24/2013 - 14:01

#169

Thinslayer

Modifying the villain

I got some psychological advice on The Finder, so now I need to decide on her path in order to make her a believable villain.

Sadists enjoy suffering and seeing other people suffer because they can't empathize. If she is a sadist, then she can't grasp the suffering of others for lack of empathy. The only practical means of her redemption, then, would be a forcible "flash-conversion."

If, however, she is not a sadist and is more of a bullied bully like her story suggests, then she must always feel guilty whenever she hurts people. She will always be a tortured soul.

Problem is, I've been writing across these opposing personalities. I need to decide which path she will take. Anybody have an opinion or advice for me?

EDIT: I have an idea. We will incorporate both personalities, since the first one is already established, while the second is better for character development. First, I'll attribute her sadism to dark matter poisoning. The dark matter inhibits the areas of the brain that allow for empathy, essentially turning her into a heartless monster. At some point in the story, she is purged, and her personality transforms into that of a "bullied bully" - a person who has been bullied into feeling weak, so she bullies others herself in order to feel strong. Near the end of the story, she begins to empathize with the main characters, and eventually stops being a villain altogether.

Sun, 03/24/2013 - 14:47

#170

Aekuryi

Clarification

Amaranth tends to be a little more playful and childlike than Iris, but is much more serious in battle as you can see in my most recent entry.

If you want a comparison, and watched Mirai Nikki, think Yuno Gasai, but less insane or loving/yandere. Just happy and childish, but serious in battle.

Tue, 03/26/2013 - 23:18

#171

Azure-Orbit

Proposal and a suggestion

I think the journey to Almire should be a little longer, in order to "stay true to the spirit of the story". We can have our characters travel easily for some time, only to be ambushed or chased later. They can also make camp and keep people on watch during the night. It might be better story-wise to put our characters through some ordeals before they reach the safe haven known as Almire.

Also, I've just recently read the story thread, and I'm not sure how Iris would be able to send a comm link message to Auger, considering that he doesn't have a HUD, or comm unit for that matter XD.

Oh yeah, there's also a typo in Auger's chapter in the first paragraph. "Lines" was supposed to be "lined". Along with "... the grass of his clothes". It's supposed to be "...the grass OFF his clothes". I told you my typing is not always to be trusted XP

Auger (subject to change)

The Gremlin sneaked up behind a group of the Imperial Strikers. Between the death of one of their friends, and getting hit by pillars of ice coming from the ground, the soldiers were in disarray. They were firing wherever they could with their Punch Guns, no longer caring if they hit a friend and foe.

Auger drew his Winmillion and prepared to uncloak. However, the girl with the bleached hair from earlier had already awoken. She danced around the Strikers and dispatched them as if they were nothing. She even went so far as to lick their blood off her blade. Auger had kept himself from deactivating his Recon Cloak to watch the whole thing unfold. "I definitely don't want to get on her bad side..." Auger thought. The girl then left to assist the Ice Channeler, who was pinned by one of the Strikers.

Auger looked at the fallen soldiers, and saw that one of them was still alive, trying to lift his Punch Gun. The Gremlin uncloaked quickly and brought the blade down on the soldier, skewering him through the exposed part of the neck. Blood leaped up and stained the sword and Auger's grey cloak. "Urgh... I'm never going to get used to that."

He looked to the side and saw another Imperial Striker, aiming his gun at Topoyozada. Auger thought fast and launched several energy knives at the soldier. Two out of three hit the target, and the soldier fell to the ground. Auger moved up to the wounded Striker, and finished the job. Although, much more messily than he would've liked.

Before anyone knew it, the fight was already over. Auger took out a fabric, and wiped the blood off of his blade and clothes, before putting his weapon away. There were still some blood stains that had dried, but Auger decided that they had bigger concerns right now.

He approached the two female Isorans, carefully so as not to startle them into attacking him, and spoke. "Thiz plaze, not zafe. Wee arr heding to Almire. Kingdom ther, zafer. Will yoo come wit us?" The Gremlin said to them. "I need to start learning how to pronounce better Isoran..." Auger thought wistfully as he waited for a reply from the two Channelers.

The female Channeler, wearing the glasses and Angelic Raiment was the first to notice him. "Color me surprised! I was about to go there myself with Amaranth!" She said in a cheerful tone. "So, the one with the bleached hair is named Amaranth..." Auger mentally noted. "Fine, it is better to travel in a bigger group than alone." She continued with a nod.

Auger opened his mouth to speak a reply, but was cut short by the same Channeler with the glasses. "Tell me, do you know anyone by the name of Auger? I sent him a message before... I wonder if he had received it..." She said, appearing to be thinking out loud. The Gremlin blinked at her for a few moments for two reasons. One, because Auger turned out to be a known name in the Imperium "And here I thought I was doing a good job of keeping a low profile...". And two, because she was unaware that Auger was a Gremlin name. "Being named after tools and parts, it should be easy to tell if someone is a male Gremlin. It's the substitute for our real names in Isoran tongue, as our Gremlin names are un-pronounceable to them." He thought.

"Wat iz yoor name?" Auger continued, extending a furry hand in what he knew to be an Isoran form of greeting.

The woman just looked at him for a while, her eyes wide in surprise. Auger felt a little awkward holding his hand out if she wasn't shaking it. "Am I doing it wrong?" He thought, examining his hand for a moment. Finally, the Isoran broke into a smile and spoke. "Oh that just makes things easier!" She exclaimed, shaking the hand and giggling.

She then continued. "Oh you don't know that I have been searching for you! I thought that you would be an Isoran or something similar! Have you come across anything special? Oh wait-wait-wait! Where are my manners? My name is Iris and I am ever soooo delighted to be your acquaintance! Now, let's go back to business! Have you acquired anything that was once living? Like perhaps a corpse of a Channeler! I always wanted...".

Auger was no longer able to pay attention. Iris was both confusing him, and scaring him. "What kind of person pays people to get corpses, no less looks for them?" He thought.

Apparently, the Isoran had taken notice of Auger's inattentiveness and changed the subject. "Oh... sorry that I confused you... to put it simply, I have been searching for you... because I needed more corpses and creatures to experiment with." She said. Auger was unsure how to respond to the statement. Collecting bodies was a very unusual request.

"Aye weel let yoo no if aye find enee bodees. Aye can alzo hunt aneemalz for yoo tu uze." Auger replied. It wouldn't be the most pleasant job he'd ever take, but money was money, no matter how you got it. At least in Auger's opinion. "Hey hey, I found some more friends, Iris!" Shouted a new voice. Auger turned in its direction and spotted Amaranth, standing near Topoyozada, Raechal, and Valentine. "Wee reely shud get go-ing. Imperium patrol weel pazz by zoon." Auger said, turning back to Iris.

Iris acknowledged this, and Auger went off to the body of one of the Strikers. He took the Punch Gun from the dead man and examined it in his hands. "Looks fairly new, fresh from the production line if I'd say so myself. That would explain how we dispatched them so easily... It appears to be somehow customized though..." Auger checked to see if the gun was loaded, and fired a shot into the distance. "Yes, it has less recoil than usual for this type of gun, meaning it has lower shot strength and range, but better accuracy... This could net me some money if I get to a market or a bazaar." Auger thought. He proceeded to take three Punch Gun bullets from the dead Striker, and then put the items away in his cloak.

The Gremlin turned back, and returned to the group, hoping that they were now prepared to leave. "the sooner we get away from this city, the better..."

Sun, 03/24/2013 - 21:02

#172

Thinslayer

Been added!

Everybody's proposed additions have been added to the story thread, along with Azure-Orbit's requested edits.

Now for the critiques.

@Infernus-Dragneel: The hunters are rather chatty today! I think that the ranks of the hunters should at some point be filled with enemy Channelers so that they pose a challenge to our characters. I'm not saying that it's a problem that our characters are OP at the moment, but that will have to stop later on in the story.

@Azure-Orbit: I agree; considering the nature of this story, the characters need to encounter some more interesting trials before reaching Almire. Let's just say that being within Almire's borders is no assurance of security (e.g., Zero, the Finder's henchment, etc.). However, I'm itching to put some more male characters in the story, and I'm planning for Raechal to be captured by the Imperium to give Topoyozada something to fight desperately for. Almire is a great place for either of those events to occur.

Regarding Auger's fight with the hunters, he's being a little too casual about it. It takes time to observe Iris and compile thoughts about her, time that he likely doesn't have in the heat of battle. Just something to think about.

@Seatus: Where are you!? The Finder has approached him. I'd like to use the Finder elsewhere, so...can we get a move-on with that?\

@Aekuryi: I haven't watched the movie/show in question. Unfortunately, the description doesn't help much, because Infernus' character is *supposed* very playful and childlike, to the point of naivete. I'll just have to re-read the stories in question to get a feel for the characters. Thanks for trying to help me with it, though. :)

Sun, 03/24/2013 - 21:04

#173

Callis-The-Wicked

Lol

My mind is zooming out, sorry. Downloaded Minecraft, now I am questioning my life XD I'll post as soon as I can get my thoughts straight. Sorry for the delay.

Sun, 03/24/2013 - 21:06

#174

Callis-The-Wicked

Lol

Sawwy

Sun, 03/24/2013 - 21:19

#175

Azure-Orbit

In response

@Thinslayer: That could work out I guess. The borders just mean that it is Almirian territory, and therefore there will be patrols every now and again. But, the guards are scattered and move in small groups, so that way the borders are only "slightly" safer than the wilderness.

My character was being casual? Can you specify the bit where it seems wrong? I'm not exactly understanding what you're trying to point out with his thoughts ._.

Sun, 03/24/2013 - 21:20

#176

Azure-Orbit

Double post!?

*Facepalm* Whoopsies

Sun, 03/24/2013 - 21:50

#177

Feline-Grenadier

...

Updated ma story, but meeting the Finder this early on might be...

Ergh.

Sun, 03/24/2013 - 22:02

#178

Thinslayer

Further explanations

@Azure-Orbit:

"Auger drew his Winmillion and prepared to uncloak. However, the girl with the bleached hair from earlier had already awoken. She danced around the Strikers and dispatched them as if they were nothing. She even went so far as to lick their blood off her blade. "I definitely don't want to get on her bad side..." Auger thought. The girl then left to assist the Ice Channeler, who was pinned by one of the Strikers."

During combat, he spent several precious seconds doing not much of anything. He 1) watched the girl dispatch the strikers over the course of a few seconds, 2) lick the blood off her blade in about 1-2 seconds, and 3) think out a full sentence within 1-2 seconds. Friends and loved ones can die in combat within a split second. Perhaps he should compile his thoughts after the battle?

Am I being too critical? I know I sometimes get defensive in the face of well-meant criticism myself. :/

Please feel free to criticize my own posts in the same detailed manner. It's helpful in improving the quality of my writing.

Sun, 03/24/2013 - 22:16

#179

Thinslayer

@Vinnydime

I've added your story addition to the main thread. Lyra meeting the Finder will be very...interesting. Her life won't be in *immediate* danger. ;)

By the way, do you mind linking to your story post each time you edit it? It's kind of a hassle to try and find it each time it's edited. Thanks!

Sun, 03/24/2013 - 22:16

#180

Azure-Orbit

I see...

@Thinslayer: Ah, I get it now. Sorry if that seems wrong, I just thought it would've been better of Auger didn't intervene, as he may have messed up Amaranth's attack pattern. Plus, I'd be pretty shocked as well to watch an innocent-looking girl sadistically murder a whole group of well-trained soldiers. Auger was also cloaked behind the Strikers, so there wasn't any immediate danger to him (since the soldiers would be shooting in the direction of the visible Channelers)

Still though, you're right about having to be constantly alert during battle. I just didn't find anything wrong with it when I first posted. If you still think I should edit it, just say the word and I'll make him more focused on the fight.

Sun, 03/24/2013 - 22:36

#181

Feline-Grenadier

...

Well, I don't know how to link, unfortunately. The most I can offer you is that my story will ALWAYS be on page 2.

Sun, 03/24/2013 - 23:33

#182

Thinslayer

@Azure-Orbit

lol, I had correctly guessed that Auger was cloaked while he compiled his thoughts. The story is mostly fine as-is, but it might help to briefly note his reasons for not participating. Maybe say something like, "His jaw dropped as..." or "He stayed cloaked to watch as..." Something simple and brief that fits his character.

But I'll leave the final decision to you on whether to edit your post; the issue isn't serious enough to make me insist on a change. I enjoyed it either way.

@Vinnydime: 1) Right-click (or control-click) on the post number, 2) click "Copy Link Location," then 3) type a post containing <.a href="[paste the link here]">[any random text]<./a> but without the periods.

EDIT: and without the brackets, either. :P

It's described in the link "More information about formatting options" just above the "Preview" button. I've linked to it here.

Sun, 03/24/2013 - 23:28

#183

Feline-Grenadier

Example.

[Example]

Mon, 03/25/2013 - 02:35

#184

Azure-Orbit

Done and done

@Thinslayer: There, edited my post. Stating that Auger kept himself from de-cloaking :).

Mon, 03/25/2013 - 09:44

#185

Thinslayer

In the story thread!

@Azure-Orbit: I've put the edit in the story thread. :)

Unofficial proposal

Equinox is suspicious of the mysterious lady (the Finder), but invites her in anyways. Alice and the Finder have a conversation and get to know each other. Alice notes from the conversation that the lady has trouble empathizing. When Equinox asks for her name, she gives him "Vera" (which is a mod of the last syllable of her real name). Then Lyra falls from the sky, and all three come out of the cavern to investigate. Lyra is cautious at first, but Equinox takes her in too. He soon escorts them to the borders of the forest, where he leaves them. Unfortunately, this puts Alice and Lyra at the mercy of the Finder, who is no longer threatened by Equinox and is superior to both channelers combined. Somehow, they manage to escape (though neither do so unscathed - one or both of them should suffer serious injuries). Then the Finder returns to base to collect the partner whom the Master assigned to her: Zero. The Finder instantly develops a crush on him, but she'll have no chance of winning his affections until she is purged (due to her lack of empathy).

End of unofficial proposal

Wed, 03/27/2013 - 00:34

#186

Infernus-Dragneel

Picnic to Almire!

"We can resume our conversation later," Iris smiled as she took Amaranth by the hand, "Follow me, I know a safe place-" she paused and let go of Amaranth's hand. "Oh jolly, more company..." Iris thought to herself while grabbing the handle of her flourish. She sensed something- or someone to be precise, she turned around to see the same gremlin that fought with her before.

"Thank Vog it's just him..." Iris smiled and let her guard down. The gremlin approached both her and Amaranth carefully, "Thiz plaze, not zafe. Wee arr heding to Almire. Kingdom ther, zafer. Will yoo come wit us?" he spoke in an unusual accent. "Color me surprised! I was about to go there myself with Amaranth!" Iris answered as she nodded her head, "Fine, it is better to travel in a bigger group than alone,"

"Tell me, do you know anyone by the name of Auger?" Iris asked the gremlin as she checked her HUD, "I sent him a message before... I wonder if he had received it..."

"My name iz Auger. Aye am a merzenary. If yoo zent me mezzage, it will not go enywere. Aye am not regiztered in Izoran uplink; eet no yuze to me. I deel wit peepol perzonaly. It helpz tu keep me hidden frum enemees." He explained to her. "Wat iz yoor name?" Auger continued, extending a furry hand in what he knew to be an Isoran form of greeting.

Iris was still dumbstruck of her founding, she just stared at the Gremlin for a while and broke into a smile. "Oh that just makes things easier!" Iris giggled and shook Auger's hand wildly, "Oh you don't know that I have been searching for you! I thought that you would be an Isoran or something similar! Have you come across anything special? Oh wait-wait-wait! Where are my manners? My name is Iris and I am ever soooo delighted to be your acquaintance! Now, let's go back to business! Have you acquired anything that was once living? Like perhaps a corpse of a Channeler! I always wanted to experiment on th-" Iris paused and looked at Auger who got lost from the conversation, "Oh... sorry that I confused you... to put it simply, I have been searching for you... because I needed more corpses and creatures to experiment with,".

"Aye weel let yoo no if aye find enee bodees. Aye can alzo hunt aneemalz for yoo tu uze." Auger replied. Iris giggled in joy, although she knew that this is an unusual request but someone has to take it- before she turns 180 degree again. "Hey hey, I found some more friends, Iris!" Amaranth shouted at her, Iris turned to see 3 other Isoran standing next to the energetic girl. "More Channelers..." Iris observed the 3, but what caught her attention was the tall girl donning an Angelic Raiment. "There is... Something different from this Channeler... Unlike all that I've met...".

"Wee reely shud get go-ing. Imperium patrol weel pazz by zoon." Auger broke in, turning to Iris. "Oh yes, let us make haste! The sooner we get to Almire the faster I will be able to rip out Chromalisks' lungs and replace them with Everfrosts!" Iris giggled to herself, she walked towards the rest of the group leaving Auger alone.

She stood next to Amaranth who was eager to introduce Iris to the rest of her new friends. "Greetings, my name is Iris! It's a pleasure to become acquaintance with you all," Iris smiled as she looked at 2 young Channelers, she turned to the last one and stared at her with intensity, "Especially you... May I know your name?"

Tue, 03/26/2013 - 03:01

#187

Infernus-Dragneel

Picnic to Almire!

/faceAzure-Orbit

Whoopsies, double post

((Anyhow, so did the Hunters found out where the Exile base is? Because it would be awesome if they destroyed it before the group found it!))

Tue, 03/26/2013 - 04:05

#188

Callis-The-Wicked

lol

((I came here to ask that Thin takes over Equinox until I get my head on straight. XD. But remember Thin, this is the Forest of the Dead. NO one comes here. Equinox has to be very suspicious of 'Vera' and he only took in Alice because she was in trouble. Remember :P))

Tue, 03/26/2013 - 05:16

#189

Liminori

Bumping before school

Uhh. . . bye. Probably won't post for a while like seatus

Tue, 03/26/2013 - 06:03

#190

Azure-Orbit

@Infernus-Dragneel

Edited my last post with Iris' dialogue, and Auger's response. Also, are we still obliged to use double parentheses? I thought this thread was all-OOC along with story proposals XD.

Although, it does help differentiate the proposals from the regular text :).

Tue, 03/26/2013 - 08:09

#191

Thinslayer

Leavers?

@Seatus: I'll have some trouble getting inside Equinox's head, but I'll do my best.

@Liminori: Aw! You will be missed. Have fun, ya hear?

@Infernus-Dragneel: That's actually a cool idea, but unfortunately, I'm not sure if it'll work in our lore - the Exile's base is an Almirian stronghold, remember. Such strongholds are essentially fortified mini-cities, and are designed to hold off massive armies and long sieges. I doubt the hunters will have much success even if they got inside the walls by surprise. Unless, of course, the hunters were Channelers...but then, the stronghold would have a lot of defending Channelers in it as well. I'm not sure if that would work, Infernus. :'(

@Azure-Orbit: We don't have to use double-parentheses, but we are free to do so, and most of the players here will understand what it means.

Tue, 03/26/2013 - 08:15

#192

Shue-Donnym

Is it still okay to join yet? I'm thinking I might give a try at pitching in.

Tue, 03/26/2013 - 11:12

#193

Thinslayer

@Shue-Donnym

Sure, it's okay to join! We're still pretty much just getting started. I've designed the game so that new players can easily stay on top of the story. See our story thread to catch up. If you join, please enter a male character - those are sorely lacking here.

Most importantly, have fun!

Tue, 03/26/2013 - 14:28

#194

Aekuryi

I still exist

Sorry I haven't been replying for a while, I've been on a road trip so I haven't gotten the chance to actually sit down and spend some time on a new entry. I have some time tonight, so I'll most likely post tonight.

Tue, 03/26/2013 - 16:35

#195

Thinslayer

She fell back from pursuing

Official proposal

Equinox

The woman explained that she got separated from her party, was lost, and wanted to stay the night because Wolvers had stolen her food. Considering that we'd just been pursued by the Finder mere hours ago, I was naturally suspicious. But I decided not to let her know that. "Certainly! Come on in." I showed her inside, where Alice was heartily enjoying her Wolver meal. I introduced them both. "Ma'am, this is Alice. Alice, this is...?" The woman paused for a moment, then said, "Vera. My name's Vera." It took her a while to remember her name. Vera added, "Pleasure to meet you, Alice." They shook hands, and Vera sat down next to Alice, who asked, "So, what happened to your party?"

Vera sighed. "We were trying to escape from the Imperial city, and found ourselves crossing through this strange forest. I sprained my ankle, but they were all chatting and didn't stop to help me. I recovered on my own, but I never found them again, and as far as I know, they haven't come back for me."

I was skeptical of the story. "Then how come I never saw them passing through?" Vera looked at me as if I was stupid. "It's a large forest." I nearly smacked myself upside the head. Vera then returned her attention to Alice. "Where are you from?" Alice looked down and sighed. "I'm kinda from the Imperium, but only in a loose sense, because nobody there really wanted me. I was very young when I accidentally set fire to my blanket during an inspection, and I got taken away from my parents and forced to live on the streets."

Vera seemed completely unmoved. "Why'd you do that to your blanket during an inspection? That was kinda stupid." Alice was taken aback by that, but replied, "Yes, it was pretty stupid. I still regret that day." Still unmoved, Vera added, "You should. Hopefully, you've learned from your mistakes?" Alice was even more shocked. "Uh...yeah?" Vera smiled. "Good! You'll be a better person for it." She took a slice of wolver meat and tasted it. "Not bad, sir" she said, complimenting Equinox's cooking. "I taste a hint of blaze pepper and a sprinkling of forbidden fruit." Well, I can't fault her for not having sensitive taste.

But I figured it was time for her to leave. She'd been less-than-cordial to my guest. "Can I set you up with a pack of food and send you on your way?" Vera laughed and replied, "Thanks, but that won't quite do. There seems to be a storm coming." I stepped outside, and sure enough, I could see the storm clouds forming. I closed the door and sighed. "Okay, scratch that idea. I'll make your bed."

As I straightened the sheets on the guest bed, I heard the front door close. I stepped down to the ground floor and looked out the front window. The creature was attacking Alice again! I tried to open the door, but it wouldn't budge. It had sealed shut. That woman! She must have been the Finder! How could I have been so blind!? I summoned a fireblast and destroyed the door, but when I finally got outside, the Finder and Alice were nowhere to be found.

I cursed as I grabbed my travel sack and raced out the door.

End of official proposal

Tue, 03/26/2013 - 15:12

#196

Callis-The-Wicked

Equinox probably would've blasted the door off it's hinges, considering he HAD no sword.

New Location! (...?)
Dread Imperium
Notes: Dreary/Climate: Continuously Raining/Flora: Dead and Withered/ Location For: A cubic, gargantuan, concrete facility, for storing criminals, Exiles, and rebels. A place for torture for the Imperium, it was set in the ocean (you heard me right, for Cradle hasn't been completely explored!)to prevent escape. Torture goes on there daily, but once every five months a single ray of sunlight shines through the clouds. It's almost that time. I am guessing if this place is accepted the Finder will put Alice here...? Also, it's for those who turn themselves in. All others who do otherwise are killed by the guards. Oh, and no food here. :P

Tue, 03/26/2013 - 16:47

#197

Thinslayer

@Seatus

I have edited the story with that note in mind. ;)

I like the suggested location. I will use it in a moment.

Unofficial proposal

Someone shoved Alice awake, and she opened her eyes to a dark, dreary prison cell. "Wakey wakey! Time for your morning operation." Alice looked up and saw that strange, beautiful woman she'd met earlier. "Where am I?" asked Alice. "You're in an Imperium prison. Time to go meet my Master." She heaved Alice to her feet and escorted her to a large, dark torture room with a throne at the very end. The throne rotated to reveal the scariest-looking man Alice had ever seen. He wore a Phantom Mask over blackened & charred Almirian Crusader armor, and carried a long metal staff with a strange-looking crystal ball at the end of it. He stood up and approached Alice. "Shall we begin?" he asked the woman in a deep, hollow voice. He then addressed Alice. "Would you like to join us, dearest?" "Heck no, you creep! I don't care what you do to me, I'm not joining you!" Both the Master and the Finder laughed. The Finder then said, "Looks like you've finally grown a backbone!" She suddenly dug her claws into Alice's back.

"May I have it?"

End of unofficial proposal

Tue, 03/26/2013 - 18:48

#198

Callis-The-Wicked

Travel

((Might have my head on straight enough to type :P))

(Equinox)

I sling the travel bag onto my shoulder, and walk down the path. Why would I be so foolish? I kick a white stone, it hitting a tree enough to scrape it, showing the red beneath the tree. The cut almost instantly heals. I keep walking, exiting the Forest of the Dead, and entering the common Forest to see a troop of hunters in front of me. I sigh. "Hello, what might you be heading off to?" I ask politely.

He raises his Valiance. "Shut up and come with us to Dread Imperium, or suffer eternity"

Tue, 03/26/2013 - 18:54

#199

Feline-Grenadier

notification

Seatus, you may meet Lyra anytime you wish. She kinda faceplanted into the floor while flying around in the countryside...

Tue, 03/26/2013 - 18:56

#200

Callis-The-Wicked

^-^

<(^-^)>

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