Umm, same rules as last time, I just figured you guys really enjoyed it so I went out on a limb.
NO NUKES
NO SUPERPOWERS
NO SUPER WEAPONS
NO... SPAMMING
NO DISPUTING ANOTHER'S CLAIM TO THE COOKIE, e.g. I punch you and take the cookie. Well, I dodge. DONT DO THAT.
I pay my respects to the origional cookie game, by crushing Use with a wolver and taking the cookie
I beat the Wolver with my FR then I beat Pipipipipi with my FR then I impale the cookie to it. My FR is bound so it cannot be broken, stolen, or dropped, or vendored.
See what I mean when everyone uses loop holes?
I bonk Use on the head and knock him out, then take the cookie from the FR without taking the FR, and run off
I run over Pipipipipi over with a forklift, then I move the platform fast enough to launch Pipipipipi to the moon and I grab the cookie from him and drive off in a motorcycle that can't be set on fire or run out of gas or oil.
I take the cookie from your hand as you drive and you realise you are on a treadmill, I stop the treadmill and you fly into DEATH
I send a cloaker (PAYDAY 2) to get the cookie, and I got the cookie from the cloaker after I knock out the cloaker.
(cloakers are like sam fishers)
I use a SoL, and the blast launches the forklift to fall on top of you and crunch your bones, then I run away with the cookie.
I send a formal request in triplicate. In three months the paperwork makes its way through the glorious bureaucratic system and the cookie is repossessed by the inexorable powers of bureaucracy from Use and placed firmly in my possession.
I sue you and take the cookie to satisfy my emotional distress.
I force Sandwich-Potato to overdose on steroids, then I take the cookie from him.
While all you fight over that cookie, I'll be over here on cookie clicker making millions of cookies per secon-
Hey! What are you doing to my save game!
Cookie clicker is a waste of time, so I fuse your phone with the cookie. (Btw I currently have the cookie)
You gasp as the cookie levitates on a cloud of swag to me
I release lots of water vapor that mixes with the swag, and the cookie now stops floating and then drops in my hand.
I jump and grab the cookie before it lands in Use's hands and run away, right after I shoot Use
I throw a grenade at pipi and then i get the cookie.
At least pipi had a blast with the cookie for a short time.
/throws punable puns back at Egpnd
/takes the cookie and goes to be outstanding in my field
I skap Pipipipipi with a fish and I take the cookie and run away.
I shake hands with the fish and befriend it. We build a long relationship and eventually get married in a spanish vineyard. We have a happy few years, until the kids are born, and I pretend to be happy. Years go by and we start fighting more and more frequently, but I had prepared for this, I had become good friends with my in-laws so when the fish complained to them they would always side with me. Finally, I'd played the game enough, and I used all I had learned during those years of trust and happiness, and I squirreled the assets we now shared away in various oversees accounts, and took the envelope on the kitchen table and head out the door. I hear a splash behind me, i turn, the fish is there, it knows exactly what is happening. "Blub?" says the fish, voice breaking *splash splash*. "No," I say, "I never loved you, it was all for this!" I hold up the envelope, we both know what it is. The cookie. I turn without another word, envelope in hand, and disappear into the scottish countryside...
Someone stole my chocolate milk... everyone's gonna get it! I launched my EMP and it explod
/closes eyes
/becomes purple
/grows in size
BEHOLD MY AVATAR OF SWAG!!!!!!!! With a mighty hand, I smash aside Moose-Margarine and grab the cookie. I stamp Zaffy-Laffy into nothing and fling Usevnsevnsixfivfor into the air.
"None shall oppose me!"
I use my WRH to blast myself into the opposite direction so that I can get on his head. I stab Malkalack's eyes out with my Fearless Rigadoon. He furiously tries to eat me because I made him blind, so I send in several Nova charges up his throat, tearing it up so he can't breathe. I chop his feet of with my Acheron and burn his hair with my Combuster. I stuff several DR's up his ears so the deafening sounds deafen him. I then spam Blitz charges at his belly button 'til he pops. I take the cookie from the gooey, bloody mess, and I sprint away, with the cookie in hand.
I secretly replace the cookie in Use's hand with anouther cookie while he isn't looking
I make hundreds of duplicate cookies, and scatter them all around ∏∏∏∏∏. I trip him, and he loses the cookie in the mass of duplicates. He stares in shock and horror knowing that he will never find the needle in this haystack. He slowly drives himself mad, and is put away by his softly weeping loved ones, as I withdraw the original cookie that doesn't display the isotopic marker I planted in the duplicates. I slide it into my pocket as I slip behind a stack of shipping containers….
As my avatar dies, a pulse of raw swag energy destroys the city we are playing in (Wisconsin) and the cookie is blasted from Moose-Margirine's hand. I use my jet pack to grab it from the air.
It is NOT the cookie. For Moose has been working for me all along, and now I posses the precious cookie. You have another one with an isotopic marker. Hehehehe. And I am somewhere you'll never find me.
I find Tedme and take the cookie, after murdering you with a spoon (this IS the real cookie, no exceptions)
I watch as Malkalack attacks that town and thinking this game takes place in a specific town
Ok, ok.
Hmm,
My brow furrows intensely, as I muster my powers. A purple mist settles over all the players and the REAL cookie (swag reads isotopic markers). Everyone finds themselves in THE RUINS OF WISCONSIN!!!!!
Muhuhahahahaaaaa! The cookie floats in the air, suspended on a pillar of Swag. I summon an army of Swag Guardians to guard it. I jetpack to the pillar and take the cookie, flying off. Then my jetpack runs out of fuel.
... Ooopsies! I run like heck out of Wisconsin, then hop on a motorcycle and drive off.
I was in a far away town with a telescope, I grab the cookie as it slowly floats away, making post 29 basicly not happen
derp, your breaking your own rules btw
SWAG IS NOT A SUPERPOWER!!!!!!!!!!!! IT IS IN IT'S OWN CATEGORY!
I dig my way down to Pipipipipi using a plastic shovel. Then, I throw a forklift at Pipipipipi, and take the cookie from him as he is crushed. HA-HA. I climb back up the hole, and and hop on my motorcycle and drive to Ottawa.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ottawa
@Malk yes it is
I dodge the forklift, and grab the cookie from him before he takes off without him seeing, little does he know
Unfortunately, pipi failed to hear my warning and got shotgunned and downed. However, the cookie was also downed. I was able to defeat the bulldozer and revive the cookie and take it. However, pipi went to custody because I did not have time to revive them both. Don't worry, I made a Cop cuff himself and traded him to free pipi.
Unfortunatly, Egpnd never actually said a warning so I sue the pants off of him, win the sueing, and gain the cookie which is now legally bound to me
I meet ∏∏∏∏∏ in the road, covered in dirt and sickly. ∏ feels for my plight and adopts me on the spot, in a very real and legally binding sense. I quickly endear myself to ∏, soon becoming his favorite child. Time passes, and we grow older, and ∏ begins to grow weak. As his health fails, he is forced to face his mortality and draws up a will. After he passes, the last Will and Testament is read and to no surprise to myself ∏∏∏∏∏ has left to me, his adopted son, the one true cookie. I take the cookie, and in a great show of grief, retreat into the Alaskan wilderness to live out my days--no one but myself knowing that it was I that poisoned dear old ∏.
I hire several psychics to read the mind of Moose-Margarine, then bribe a force of Alaska State troopers to arrest him under false charges of drug trafficking, assault with a weapon, weapons trafficking and sixteen counts of murder that I commited.
"OUT OF THE HOUSE!!" The sargeant shouts, aiming an AK-47 at his face. Moose-Margarine complies.
"Do it, right here right now." Malkalack says, cruelty in his voice.
The sounds of weapons-fire lights up the night.
I walk into the house, looking at a golden-lined chest and know what is in without looking. I smash open the lock and TAKE THE COOKIE!
I come in and take the cookie out of Malkalack's hands, saying thank you as I do. No one shoots me because as I said, the cookie legally belongs to me
I steal the cookie and put it in a traffic cone, and then I wear it after zombifying myself.
I blow your head off with a shotgun, then take the cookie.
NEWS FLASH: 30 seconds ago I stole the cookie from Malk
please leave a message after the beep
beep
Pipipipipi twitches as a tranquillizer dart finds it's way into his neck, curtesy of my air pistol. I approach, tie him up and throw him in a closet and take the cookie!
NOTE: Using my superthreadcreator powers I hereby decree you are all in a generic downtown city.
/e Goes to a nearby bank, the PAYDAY gang was robbing it.
/e Gets tied up by hoxton, the police set me free.
/e Another Cloaker rushes to kick hoxton, but Mal wasn't aware and the cloaker mistakenly kicks him.
/e I take Mal's cookie and ran away from the scene before a cluster of bulldozers appear and takes down the PAYDAY gang.
Oh, you got the wrong cookie, btw, this is a wardrobe and it leads to Narnia, so if you want to get the right cookie, you will have to find me somewhere in Narnia
Please leave anouther message after the beep
BEEP
Pipipipipi falls into a hole in Narnia. While he is in said hole, I call upon Aslan to help me. He bites Pipipipipi and I take the cookie from his bleeding corpse. I seal the door to Narna shut with cement.
I pickpocket Malk of the cookie and shove him in before he cements it, making it so he trapped himself in Narnia
while disguised as a cloaker, I dropkick pipi and I took the cookie.
Mal should be able to teleport out of Narnia since hes the current game master if he needs to.
Also, we are in downtown, and.... (gets downed by the PAYDAY gang and they took the cookie.)
A kindly satyr offers me his jackhammer, and I escape Narnia. I fus roh dah Egpnd and he goes flying, dropping the cookie right into my hands. Muhuhaha!
I throw Malkalack in a blender (removing the cookie first of course) and ask, "Will it blend?"
No it won't! You threw an elephant in the blender like an idiot. I smash you over the head with Dwayne "the rock" Johnson. You reel on the ground, and I kick you off a comically large cliff into the guild hall of: The Jempire. A billion angry Jempies beat you to death with banjos. I laugh and take the cookie from your corpse.
I eat all the jempire with a kirby ability and gain jemp ability, I then go to Malk and spam polaris on him with skolver armor
I slap...hey, who has the cookie right now?