I munch on the cookie I baked.

I eat the coin. That means the cookie's dime. I fire a monkey cannon at the wall and the new page goes "Why?" and dies. I take the cookie from Xxpapaya's granola bat and another from Darklordskull. The second cookie is eaten by lord Flufkins the fluffy fluffy and no longer exists. I hide the cookie in the cookie, causing an infinite loop that transports the cookie to the zeroth dimension. I put the cookie in my giant armadillo basement thing that is also a bat.

...and switch it with the cookie Darklordsoul baked. Apocrean cookies taste horrible to humans, by the way.
I then take my cookie and go to my secret underwater base, with a lot of puzzles with the cookie being the reward for doing all of them. The final puzzle is defeating me, and I have dual Obsidian Edges AND 999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999 lives so I don't die. I also have 999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999 fairies so if my lives run out, I still have a large number of times I have to be defeated before I die forever. I also have a fairy fountain by where I am which supplies me an infinite amount of fairies, so if that number of fairies is deducted from me, I can still get more with my 999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999 bottles. I prepare for everything that might come.

Problem: giving a cookie costs you one cookie. So every time you give yourself a cookie, you lose AND gain a cookie, net zero.

This problem can be fixed by having TWO cookies. When you give one to yourself, use the OTHER one to pay the cost of giving.

You have now cloned a cookie.

R U?

Gawd.

I use two magnets to get to jupiter and use one of the magnets to get the cookie. I then put butter on both sides of the cookie so it can't hit the floor. (Note: Toast always falls butter side down, meaning the same is likely for cookies. Because both sides are buttered it can't fall thus never hits the ground).

I put the floating cookie over a 50 mile wide pit of lava.

I casually use a fire-proof squirrel suit to fly over to the floating cookie and I store it in my mouth.
I then call on squirrel minions to grab the newly-baked cookie and they hide it in a randomly not-random tree.

I get on another motorcycle and throw a red turtle shell. it hits you, causing you to throw the cookie in the air. I jump off the road, do an awesome midair bike stunt as I grab the cookie and put on some shades.

I land and continue down the highway and into the sunset.

During the museum's after hours, I sneakily break into the exhibition where the cookie is held, coming in from the ceiling Mission Impossible style. I take the real cookie, put a fake one in its place and leave the museum, disappearing into the dark of the night as I put on my shades.

Later I take the cookie with me on a trip to the moon

I return from the hospital from my red turtle injuries and hijack a space ship, taking out the pirates and taking the cookie AND giant cheese ball as you sleep.
I return home and puts the cookie in a cookie jar, the least obvious place and eat the rest of the cheese.

(the Mission Impossible thing was the only thing I could think of xDD)

As I float in space, I hitch a ride on a meteor which crashes into your hideout in the North Pole. I take the cookie from the remains of the hideout and then I got on the Batmobile.
Then I drive to a random penguin village and hid the cookie there while I go play with some cute fluffy penguins

You then look into the distance and see OH MY GOSH WHY IS DUSK SO FAT?

Well, probably because they ate the entire moon, as the moon is the big ball of cheese I mentioned. Dusk's weight causes the Earth to start plummeting towards the sun. I tell you that I can save the Earth if you give me the cookie. You do so in desperation and I throw Dusk into the sun so the Earth goes back to it's normal orbit.

Also the sun melted the north pole while the Earth was plummeting towards the sun, leaving Santa homeless. :(

(oh gosh I didnt realise my mistake LOL thanks for the correction though xD)

As the North pole melts, the elves lose their penguin costumes but turns out they make super good floats. Realising I had been tricked, I made an elf-boat, by tying a bunch of elves together, and went towards dry land.
I see Dusk on a motorcycle running people over and I also see that they have the cookie. I untie the elves and throw them at Dusk, knocking them over. I run and grab the cookie while they're distracted. Then I remade my elf-boat and sailed away.

Also the area is starting to flood because the North Pole melted lol.

I throw my motorcycle at Fall and grab the cookie, jump back on my motorcycle when it lands, then run over fall when he fell (lots of falling) pulling off the highway and pull in to a diner at a small town.
I order breakfast and use the cookie as a cup mat (U know that thing u put your cup on)

Then I steal the cookie and fly on a helecoptr

I choose the spy class and run up to you disguised as an ally. Since that the tanks don't do any thing towards me. I then put sapper on everything destroying them and back-stab you.

I take the cookie, cloak, and walk away.

I defeat you, take the cookie and run off again.

[Please DON'T do that. It either scares people off, or gets them bored. So much work to make a plan to steal a simple cookie, and then you come in and take the cookie in less than a line! You're taking the fun part out of the game. Come on, show some effort!]

I get my pet Wolver to dig up the cookie. I then run away with it, into the sunset.

I take the cookie from Papa, then I fly out of inner space.

It doesn't matter anymore, because while Galax gave everyone a lengthy and amazingly interesting explanation about that, I take the cookie by taking it. Then I grow wings and fly away to Tamaran with it.

I take the cookie while you type that. Then I run away by running away by running away by running away by running away by running away by running away by running away by running away by running away by running away by running away by running away by running away by running away by running away by running away by running away by running away by running away by running away by running away by running away by running away by running away by running away by running away by running away by running away by running away by running away by running away by running away. Then I go to my house in Pluto to get some sleep.

Cookies rain from the heavens!

In the midst of the confusion, I knock the cookie out of your hand, quickly replace it with one of the rain cookies, and snatch the cookie out of the air, then jump on my cookie moped and ride off into the cookie sunset.

(('Tis not the amount of times you steal the cookie, but the quality of the cookie-theft, that determines the true winner of this thread.))

Using my giant war machines, I fire missiles and lasers galore at the dove army, killing many doves .A missile is fired towards Galax, a direct hit. Galax falls into the wasteland that was known as the Earth before my war machines arrived. I walk to their rotting corpse and take the cookie. I hold it up in the air, lightning flashes in the background. My war machines soon takd take over the world. I build a infinitely mighty army to protect the cookie, which is now located in a vault at the center of the Earth.

I open the vault for Popo. Also a "war machine" Is too OP. "NO SUPER WEAPONS."

I revive myself, then I splash water on the cookie and take it.