You get a Bloomberg Businessweek magazine

I put in a parking meter

You get a rusty tin can.

I put in Your MOM!

You get More joy and peace except i get it

I insert my poop

¬ Sppw

You get an angry german kid
I insert Arkus' blade

You get a billion dollars.

I put in a Quiktrip slush.

A horde of it attacks you.

I insert a magic ring.

a can of spam.

I put in a ghast tear. (see minecraft.)

You get a Nameless Hat and Nameless Poncho. You are now officially The Man with No Name. Because of this, you may taunt Light Yagami of Death Note as much as you want, because he needs to know your name to kill you- and since you have no name, he cannot use it to kill you. I assume writing "The Man with No Name" does not kill you. So he will need to resort to other methods of killing you. Like, say, stabbing you with an Acheron. But that will require 1450 Crystal Energy in total, plus crafting cost, recipe cost, and cost of materials. That is a lot of money... like, the kind you need to spend on the Chicago Typewriter in Resident Evil 4. That costs a million pesetas, which translates to $7570.35 in American dollars. (Since Spiral Knights is based in the US, I am assuming we are using US dollars; if Light Yagami, being from a show made in Japan, is sticking to Yen, that will be 601691.29 yen. (I need that little Y with the line that means Yen. Where is that?)) But wait! Typewriters are outdated and computers cost more. Therefore, Light may sell a computer for more than the cost of a typewriter. He can get one by killing the computer store owner with the Death Note, sneaking in, stealing a computer, and pawning it off. (Disclaimer: Do not try this. You do not have the Death Note. And computer store owners are usually armed. Also, it is against the law.) Anyway, Light would then have a huge sum of money, more than $7570.35. This is enough to buy huge amounts of energy with which to make an Acheron to stab you. But wait! You have probably left the Arcade by the time Light did all of this. Therefore Light will have to go into the Clockworks... let's say King of Ashes. Now, Slag Walkers and Spiked Wheels are a bit too much for Light to handle (can you imagine all the Slag Walker names, he'd run out of ink), so he needs an army. However, to get this army he will need to convince them to fight for him. Modern armies will probably not listen to him because generals are so much better protected, and they let no one nearby. So an older technology army... let's say medieval... would be required. A prime place for that is the Fire Emblem universe. As we know, since Light has already traveled to the SK universe, then to the real world, and back to SK, we know Light can travel through fictional and real universes. Therefore he will reach a place in the FE universe. The prime location for this is the Dragon's Gate in Fire Emblem 7, as that was an in-universe universal portal... thing. However, Light must be careful not to come out on the wrong side of the Dragon's Gate, because that side has dragons that do not like humans. Anyway, once Light has tested which side to come out of with a string and a potato chip (if the potato chip is burned to a crisp by dragon breath, it's the wrong side), he will take a second potato chip, EAT IT, and go through the right side. Now, on the right side, where the humans are, the story may not have progressed yet. Therefore, Light should expect to immediately be attacked by Nergal, a mad wizard that sucks life force out of people. However, Light already knows Nergal's name, and therefore, unlike you, who would happen to be the Man with No Name, Nergal can be quickly killed, before he can cast his dark magic on Light. (Ouch.) Once he kills Nergal, he will be hailed as a hero by the main character's army, and they will gladly help him get through Firestorm Citadel. However, if it is that early in the story, the troops will likely be too weak to stand up to Tier 3 Slags and Trojans. Therefore Light must take the Fire Emblem army through Tiers 1 and 2 to farm XP off of Chromalisks. (He can afford to tab them- remember the $7570.35?) Once this is done, he can easily command his army to crush Firestorm Citadel. But by this time you have already finished Firestorm Citadel and have decided to play Lockdown. Light cannot bring an army into Lockdown because that is cheating and King Krogmo does not like (most) cheating. Light knows King Krogmo's name is King Krogmo. However, King Krogmo lied about his name. It is actually Phil. Light does not know King Krogmo's name is Phil. Therefore he must find it somehow. To do this he will need to find James Bond to figure it out. However, James Bond is busy stopping some kind of villian that most likely has a pirahna in a tank somewhere. Therefore Light will need to find another way to get you out of Lockdown. You are wielding a Final Flourish and a Polaris. If both of these are nerfed, you will leave. Light must then find Tsubasa-No-Me and offer her a chance to break in to the Three Rings office and nerf everything. Once she does this, Light can edit the code. But wait! He doesn't know code. Therefore he must find a programmer. Like Slippy the Toad. Except he is whiny and annoying. So no dice. Dr. Wily will suffice if Light tells him his name and points to the Death Note. Therefore Dr. Wily can reprogram the computer. However, he must first finish being defeated by Mega Man. This will not take long, as he is in Mega Man 6, and that Wily Machine is a piece of cake. However, Dr. Wily is in jail after this, so he must break out. Again we go to the Fire Emblem universe. Dr. Wily's robot travels to find Jaffar the Black Fang Assassin, who can pick locks. However, at this point in the story, Jaffar is still a bad guy and kills Dr. Wily's robot with that sick Assassin Insta-kill Critical Hit. Dr. Wily's SECOND robot can travel then to find someone else... wait. He went through the wrong side and got toasted by dragons. Okay, Dr. Wily's THIRD robot came in, and this time found an enemy thief. The robot WAS a Met. Now he is a helmet-less Met because the thief stole his helmet. (The thief with the helmet later gets killed by Hector- how do you THINK Hector can take so many arrows to the face?) Anyway, this helmet-less Met finds Matthew, who is an Ostian spy. That means he's a good guy. But wait! Why would Matthew, a good guy, help Dr. Wily, a bad guy? Therefore the helmet-less Met is forced to go to a Shop and buy a Door Key. To do this, he sells... a plasma bolt. That is worth 50 gold if carefully bottled up. Then he goes back through to the Mega Man universe, and uses the Door Key to break Wily out. Now Wily can reprogram the computer for Light. But wait! Light sounds a bit like Dr. Light, who is Dr. Wily's arch rival. Light must now prove he is not a doctor. He therefore pulls out his lack of a degree. This is apparently enough for Wily. Wily then reprograms the game with Tsubasa-No-Me's suggested modifications, nerfing the Final Flourish and Polaris so they are on par with other weapons.

But wait! This doesn't work because the Chicago Typewriter isn't actually a Typewriter- it's a gun. Now your brain hurts. Goodbye!

You get tortured forever by watchin' that vid over and over again[till you die]

I insert a mad bomber bomb

¬ Sppw

I get yur mad bomb back.

I put in snarby. Lol

Sppw gets blagh'd by the machine. (not insering anything) {nothing doesn't count}

I insert a cute love pup.

You get a rusty old spoon.

I put in a mewkat...

You get a slumber.

I put in my chroma monster.

You get a mini Vanaduke factory.

I insert a used napkin

u get a old tire

i put in a alien spaceship

You get nothing

I insert my pee

~Sppw